Clint
I invented Go-Gurt.

With all due respect, Ragna's elimination will be swift if he is seen on the grounds, im in charge of defence, not anti-espionage/detective work. Ill do my best to make sure my men and women enforce the current rules of lockdown to our staff but im afraid all I can provide is a secure line of defence, nothing more, sir.

dammit sir, we need you out here

I'm afraid we must cut our losses. Prof. S.H.I.T was kidnapped due to disobeying orders to stay within the secure perimiter of the grounds. We do not want disobedience amoung our ranks, sir.

Hey. Hows the fort holding up? Remember if you need anything, like a scotch or something, I can send some little shit to go fetch you one. Damn good stuff

****ception

Oh that's right! Now I recall
Maybe we should make a second Professor. He seems kind of lonely

Or, we could make a sick combo of Leg and Arm chainsaws. Then he'd be able to move twice as quickly.
Wait, when did he revert to bear form?

Chainsaws. He needs chainsaws.

'Sup? Vagina.

Sounds fun. Kinda like "**** you, you ****ing ****-faced ****er!" ?

"We ill?" What do you mean by- WAIT. I UNDERSTAND
We're going to "straight gangsta g my homeboy doggie word word," into my attic, using the ten foot pole rope ladder like mother****ing Snoop Dogg. Those dungeon monsters don't stand a chance, Headmaster. I can only aspire to one day attain your knowledge of these situations

u mad bro?

I just ran out of radar! I have some ultrasound in a jar in my attic, but the hallway to my attic has inexplicably turned into a multi-floor dungeon. I do have some rope, however, and a ten foot pole. What do you propose we do?

ZOMG! Of course. It's been a dream. However, I must cover up my existence for the time being. When I return, you know it's done.

Of course! That Lying cheating bastard. I accept your invite.