Clint
I invented Go-Gurt.

I rise to your command, sir. Who requires my ice-world-of-hoth-boot in their ****?

yes sir

Laser genitalia, huh? Well, that sounds like a particularly beneficial upgrade. Not that high heels or BDSM gear aren't great upgrades in and of themselves. But a laser from the genitals sounds particularly like something no one would be expecting.

Exactly what kind of information do we need?

Great. I look forward to seeing Liberty Prime in action again.

Be aware that you may have to fix him up a bit. There was an incident with an orbital strike that he did not take well to...

I checked him over and his retinal vein was damaged so I replaced it, he should be good as new.

Now in light of this quick work I'd like an advance on my job description. If it's not already taken I'd like to be the groups's Professor of Psychiatry as well as cyborg repair, I think I'd be good at this.

I would be honored to be the Academy's personal spy. Might I also suggest that you bring in Liberty Prime. He has been specially designed to deal with the Communist invasion.

I am a spy... A spy of the communists. As of late, their activity has gone dormant, however. My suspicions are growing. My life might be in danger.

Ragna is doing his thing over in Wales as far as I know. (I think he's from Wales, right?) He comes and goes from here infrequently. I am not sure what he is planning... although he is a criminal mastermind. Watch him. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

He very well may be a Soviet; he is European after all. If there's one thing we learned from Nam, it's never to trust those Europeans. I'll fire up the ole beacon and see if I can triangulate his position. Either that, or I'll get arrested for rubbing one out on my roof.

They'll grow back.

Good news and bad news. Good news, Professor S.H.I.T. reported back in saying he defeated "Ragna tode." Bad news, I think Ragna may have made a stuffed doll and labeled it "tode," or something to that effect in order to dupe him. Have his optic sensors been updated recently?

Odd, I wasn't aware that calling people racist or "douche bag", or references to "stabbing babies and smoking crack with pregnant 9 year old girls[sic]" was in any way humorous. To each his own, I suppose.

can i make him suffer

Thanks for not killing me in that thread. ;-;

I don't know what I'd have done if I'd died.