Clint
I invented Go-Gurt.

Remember back in 1968, you were shooting Coogan's Bluff, and I was trying to keep Professor S.H.I.T. out of trouble, when suddenly the cameras all started leaking spaghetti and tears? That's what happens when you accidentally a camera, which one of the camera crew guys did.
I just accidentally a train. The damage seems to be irreversible.

So is Sephiroth. But I love him still.

Headmaster I just accidentally a train
oh god oh god this is going to be a nightmare for the academy's PR department

Well I didn't think you were lol. The name just sounded like it, but I know what you mean.

Well, as your tangent universe gay-self, I propose it be a philanthropic holiday that raises awareness of child molestation, as opposed to what the name suggests, because the name sounds like it's encouraging child molestation. My rainbow farts say no to that!

I do hate me some spooks.

And for who

ahhhhhhhh no

I have a bad feeling that people don't know that you speak Spanish, and "Molest" to you means "bother." But, since you've decreed it, the holiday is going to happen regardless.

Thank you, captain. I hope the catchy wordplay will appreciated by the other staff. Bold it if needed.

Professor of Schlong Measurement? I got no idea
Also yeah, got into a barfight, lost, and the conditions were one of us had to change our name to the victor's.
WAIT
The Goddamn Clint Gaywood's Assistant

Thank you, Sir Eastwood. I look forward to it, too.

The word.

(See I'm so cunning!)

Cunning am I not? But I am the master of cunning! I'm as cunning as a fox with a degree in cunning from Cunning University sir. Ponder as you will.

Consider my application tendered and as TFF isn't letting you reject me (just yet anyways..) accepted sir. Permit me a title as you will.