The Final Fantasy Vending Machine

The vending machine grows giganticly........

*inserts giant silver coin*

You get machine puke.

*inserts coin*

You receive two coins.

*Inserts used condom.

The machine spits it right back into your face.

/laughs and inserts Quinas fork.

You get a slightly mangled fork and a pair of underpants.

*Inserts orange peel*

*You receive chocolate orange.

*Inserts scissors.

The machine cuts your hair

/insert some hair

u receive a coat made out of a manitees

*inserts penguin*

You get a beetroot.

*inserts emu*

You receive a poisoned pie... Don't eat it!

*Inserts bug spray.

You get a dead bug.

*Inserts corpse*

You get the murder weapon (it now has your fingerprints).

*inserts a bloody piece of cloth and calmly walks away

You get a Happy Meal.

*Inserts lawnmower*

You get a £20 fine for driving a lawnmower without a licence.

*inserts molded pizza slice

*You get a block of cheese*

*Inserts coin*

you get a tiny buster sword that gives you a paper cut

*inserts coin*

You get a BSOD saying "inaccessible_boot_device"

*inserts Vivi's hat*

You get a ViVi collectors card!

*Inserts 10 GP*

You get a Doom Mace

*beats up Vaan and inserts him*

You receive Exploding Fire Flower Power

*Blows up everyone in a 400 yard radius, gains 1 million GP*
*puts coin in*

you get a smoke bomb that explodes when it comes out, while you run around crazily I steal all of your gil and weapons

*inserts coin and steals vending machine*

you get arrested and then get full body cavity surch for stealing machine

inserts man thong

you get an arrow shot at your face

*inserts coin*

Nothing happens. And the machine ate your coin. Better luck next time.

*Inserts Coin*

You get a cow pat. Aws.

*Inserts Vincent*

You get the Death penalty

*inserts sepiroth*

you get the masumae sword

*inserts coin*

You get the Ernest P. Worell facelift and eat cow doodoo!

*inserts coin and Ultimecia*

You die.

*Inserts toe socks*

I re-incarnate and bug the heck out of you and gain 50 million HP!

*inserts Tiger Lily and Freddie the Freeloader*