I was really hoping to not be appreciated at all, but Rocky ruined it.

Alisyn - for being funny and awkward.
Heather - for being drunk and dismissive.
Meier Link - for running my club without the benefits, like a 401K, and for drinking Yoo-Hoo.
Polk - for being responsive and reasonable.
Rocky - for being blonde and humorful.
Telegraph - for being exactly what society wants him to be.