The Final Fantasy Vending Machine

You recieve a distorted guitar................with an Anti-Distortion button included

*Inserts n3kr0

You recieve a charming Irish leprichaun. He'll take away your troubles, and make you incredibly lucky, t'be sure.

Inserts lucky penny

You get a new limited edition Bangaa-thesaurus! Learn to speak like a bangaa in 10 days (it's mainly just about ssstretching your 's's)

*Inserts coin*

You recieve a Purple Unicorn that wants to go to Candy Mountain

*inserts bubblegum and gumdrops*

you get magical unicorn horn - has many magical properties. Also an aphrodisiac (apparantly)

*inserts coin*

You recieve a can of "Odour Le Locker Room"...Lynx never lets me down..

*Inserts coins and body odour*

You Receive Zells Hotdog!

*Inserts dark matter*

You get an Ultimate Weapon.

*puts a gil note in*

You Receive Dark-Potion!

*Inserts cracker*

You get a Potion of greater Erection :D

*puts gil in*

You recieve the Merchant..."Holy Stranger.."

*Inserts typewriter*

you recieved a knot of rust. now you can go sell it to your local store for an entire 3 gil!
*inserts coin*

Oh I'm sorry, you got a Cursed Phoenix Down (which apparently reverse the effects...)

*puts ze Gil in*

you recieve a liscence board. Now you have to earn your happiness the hard way!!!

*puts coin in*

CONGRADULATIONS!!! you got a golden chocobo!
*puts in coin, but attaches a string so he can pull it out after he gets his prize*

awwww.....so many people have tried to pull that off, and they've all FAILED. Guess what. You're no better off. mwahahaha. You get NOTHING!!!

ok yeah, on a lighter note *inserts coin*

you recieve "Monopoly: Final Fantasy edition"

*puts in coin*

You get the instruction manual for Final fantasy VII (the PSX PAL version)

*puts gil in*

you recieve a golden chocobo feather.

*puts coin in*

You recieve a Zell Dincht Fake Tatoo Kit TM. "Be cool, cover yourself in tatoos - look just like Zell Dincht! PLEASE NOTE: Wearing these tatoos may make you feel hot-headed and prone to sudden outbursts"

*Inserts coin*

You got a lifetime pass to the Golden Saucer!

*inserts coin*

you get an Aegis Shield!

*inserts coin*

you got a bahamut zero materia!

*inserts coin*

you get a chocobo egg

*inserts coin*

you recieve a human arm. Looks like it was just ripped off, too.

*inserts coin*

you get a cursed shield!

*inserts coin*

you recieve a brick.

*inserts coin*

You get a memento ring

*inserts coin*

you recieve a blue ribbon

*inserts coin*

you receive an excalibur

*inserts coin*