WHO In the HELL....

[noxious.sunshine]

Who the GD HELL in their right effing minds does a f*cking PROM for PRE-K!?

My daughter, my sweet, (not so innocent), precious human being offspring demon spawn informs me that they're having a Prom.

Are you f*cking kidding me!?

This is getting ridiculous. They already have graduation for like every grade they finish ('cuz apparently it's become quite the accomplishment to not repeat a grade) and now PRE-K gets a PROM!? And she's all super stoked (of course) 'cuz she'll be booty dancing to Ke$ha while singing "Die Young" and droppin' it like it's hot and shit. And of course my sister bought her a brand new dress that apparently has flowers on it and she's wearing a GD tiara and whatever else.

Jesus effing Christ.

This shit is getting ridiculous.

That is all. *Drops Mic*

[Heartless Angel]

My theory, the public school system invested in companies that sell dress clothes to make up for their lack of funding.

[noxious.sunshine]

It's a freaking Christian Preschool! She starts Kindergarten this coming Fall!

My sister went all "Tra-la-la" and bought her a freaking prom dress, new tiara, and some motherfuhcking "high heel shoes"

Just send the kid off to a motel room with a boy from her class, why don'tcha!?

Like seriously. I just. I can't deal with this. It's too absurd. My precious demon is too young for this! I feel like a part of her youth has been stolen! Like seriously. Words cannot describe my shock, awe, and horror over this. Yeah I know, it's harmless, but it's a PROM. For FIVE year olds.

[che]

So tell her she can't go, and make something more ****ing baller for her to attend. She will lose out on being with the "cool" kids, but if the kids are all being gross then you did something better? Or transfer schools? What in the ****?

edit: those "cool kids" will be in to all sorts of trouble anyway in a few years. it might be a blessing in disguise. make it like a birthday or something that she might remember positively, instead of going to some ****ing shitty dance. i can't believe someone would approve of that on a school board, but if thats real, wow.
edit2: dont wear the tiara. just dont.

[Cyanist]

edit2: dont wear the tiara. just dont.

Are you advising the mom not to wear that? Cuz it would probably be too small anyway, being made for a post-toddler an all...

It sounds pretty awful. I can just FEEL the germs radiating off the very suggestion! It's outrageous! The only good argument that occurs to me in its defense is that you actually have some control over your child for THIS prom.

Three things to remember:

1. You MUST find a man to verbally threaten her toe-headed little prom-date when he shows to pick her up. (As the honorary mother, you only have the authority to smile awkwardly at him and perhaps make derisive remarks about the height and bulge of his cummerbund).

2. INTERCEPT THAT CORSAGE and sanitize it! Who knows which nostrils his pudgy fingers have explored?

3. Tell her to be back by eleven-er, when ARE they hosting the event!?!

[loaf]

You can just not make her go. Saying no isn't bad.

[Lily]

Wtf is pre-K?

[loaf]

Pre-K is Pre-School. Pre Kindergarden.

[OceanEyes28]

Perhaps find out more about the prom? It could be it's like a regular party for five year olds with balloons and cupcakes and lemonade, only it's called "prom" because **** it. I mean I just can't see this being a situation where five year olds get drunk in a limo and grind on each other in the basement of a convention center. BUT I MIGHT BE WRONG.

Also omg, she will not be able to look fly in a tiara again until she's 75, why would you make her miss this brief window of tiaratunity?

[RamesesII]

Oh dear how troubling that does sound a bit too eccentric for prepies, kindergarten whatever you call it over there.
My wife and I have a friend who dresses up her 6 year old girl make up and all and she lets her date boys and have sleep overs.

I KNOW I WAS LIKE WTF TOO.

[Alpha]

Hang on. If pre-K means pre-kindergarten, which means pre-school...

What. In Kaiser Wilhelm's English, kindergarten is pre-school. That's where I went to make playdough food that mum never actually ate

Is it like pre-pre-school? And if so why is there a ball?

[loaf]

You don't live in America so I'm going to just say that.

Here it goes Pre-K, K, 1, 2, etc...

[Polk]

FINALLY, there's a market for my toddler-sized Escalade limo business.

[RamesesII]

In Australia, Queensland we abolished pre-school we now just have prep which is integrated into our primary school system so prep is the new grade 1, we still have pre prep or kindergarten but they have a word for that it's called daycare, technically anyway which are pretty much stand alone from the Education system unless they engage an actually approved learning system then they get a few benefits from the government which in turn they pass on to the clientele being the parents.

One such approved program from memory is called the Montessori which was developed by a French physician and is used world wide now.

[noxious.sunshine]

I know of Montessori.

Parker's school caters from newborns up to Pre-K. She started going there when she was 2 and fully potty trained, but the teachers actually -teach-.

As far as saying "no", my sister has temporary custody of her for insurance purposes (long story).

I've calmed down about the situation now lol.. But I still think it's redonkulous that this is going on. It's a "privately-run" (I guess) Christian daycare/pre-school... I have no idea who thought this ludicrousness up.

Like, I went to the same school for 9 yrs (Kindygarten - 8th grade) and we had 8th Grade prom, but even -that-, I thought, was kind of stupid.

Lmao.. They already have something like that.. It's called the Party Bus XD They do it for kids, too. hahaha.

[Alpha]

I remember my first school dance (they're called "dances" or "discos" until the last few years of college (high school) when they're called "balls", and become more formal). I was...11. And I danced with seven girls. I know this because it was cool to count how many girls you danced with. Each dance with someone lasted until the end of the song to which you began dancing. If you weren't dancing with a girl, you were just standing with your mates, talking about how many girls you have danced with, and who'd you like to dance with, or being made fun of because you danced with someone. "Dancing" itself constituted the male placing his hands on the waist of a girl, and the girl placing her hands on the shoulders of a guy, and awkwardly shuffling side to side.

11-year-old parties sound so weird in retrospect. How the hell was that ever something to look forward to?

[Lily]

we jut have nursery then school. we didn't have proms in my day. they brought that fad in summat like the year after I left

we had school discos. And they were crap too.

[Pete]

[noxious.sunshine]

me neither.