I HAVEN'T SLEPT. It's 7:44AM. I just haven't really been in a place where I can sleep. Mom's got surgery (went in at 5AM), I'm waiting to hear updates, so **** it, I'm up for a while.
Anyway, so I'm sitting at the kitchen table with my dad (who got up to start his day at like 5:30 because he's a mother****ing ADULT) and we're eating eggs and bacon because it's breakfast time for productive members of society and I've got my eggs all overeasy like I like 'em and they're extra runny today so there's like a pool of yolk all over my saucer plate (Regular plate is too big). I want to lick it up. But my dad is like 3 feet away from me and will probably judge me and that'll be the one time I get yolk all down my shirt. So I'm abstaining in favor of soaking it up with toast which is taking way too ****ing mother****ing long.
MY POINT IS if I were alone, I'd have already licked that goddamn plate clean. And then probably I'd have one hand down my pants already, not for any funny business, it's just a nice place for your (your? my) hand to be. And then I'd watch makeup tutorials or some shit like that on YouTube because it's relaxing and I'm BY MYSELF so it doesn't matter.
What do you do when you are alone that you would not do if someone was sitting in the room with you? I know for a fact you are all disgusting, you can't hide it from me. So tell me.
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