First of all, I'm already famous. You may have heard of me. Eleventh President of the United States of America James K. Polk? You know, manifest destiny? I started a war with Mexico? I HAVE A ****ING WIKIPEDIA PAGE? For the love of God, THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS WROTE A SONG ABOUT ME! **** you all, I'm famous.

…Would you keep your real name?
Yes. The name Polk is synonymous with women wetting their panties.

…What would you be famous for?
Eleventh President of the United States of America. Also I wrote the script to "Manos: the Hands of Fate." Yeah. I know. My bad on that one.

…Who would be your A-list friends?
I hung out a lot with Abe Lincoln and Edgar Allen Poe back in the day. Depressing guy, that Poe. And Emma Watson, too if she'd just STOP CALLING ME AAARRGGGGHHH

…Which TFFer’s would you thank in your award winning speeches?
Michael Belmont. The answer is always Michael Belmont.

…Which TFFer’s would be your closest friends?
Haha. No.

…What would you do with your money?
I would've given Mexico more money for California.

…Would you spend thousands of dollars on designer dresses/suits/jackets/CLOTHES?
And cover up the famous Polk genitalia? What, are you ****ing joking?

…Would you come back to TFF?
Haha. No seriously.

…What would be the first thing you’d do as soon as you claimed the fame?
Emma Watson. And I'd stop Michael Bay from making movies.

…Would you read the tabloid gossip about you?
I did. And I never had sex with Peggy Eaton. Those are all lies.

…Would you like all the websites dedicated to you?
What the **** is a website?

…Would you like all the attention you would get?
Yeah. I'm an attention whore.

…Which country would you buy? (I know it’s not possible, but work with me! XD)
I'd turn Canada into Polkatopia. The harshest dictatorship the world's ever known.

…Would you hire bodyguards?
I once murdered a bear with my BARE (do ya get it? Huh? Huh?) hands. I don't think so.

…Would you sign autographs for your fans?
Are you asking for an autograph? Well, here it is.

xoxo James K. Polk

Keep that one forever, ladies. Pictures to hang on your wall cost extra, though.

And instead of being cool like all you other crazy kids, and saying "PART II COMING LATER HOMIES", I'm just not going to do it. Look at me, being a rebel and whatnot.