Gay the new "N" word?

[GypsyElder]

I'm attempting this in Gen Chat

I'm honestly curious about this one.

There's a commercial now about it as if it's one of those above the influence smoking/drug commercials.

What are your views on the way people loosely use the term "gay"?

If I'm being absolutely, truthfully honest, I think it's silly that it's become such a big problem. At the same time I DO see how it can come off offensive... But..

The way I look at is society has made a third meaning for the word, and it's not the first time a word is given a random meaning. It's not set in stone and there is no formal definition of that manner for the word, but I admit I use the word a lot to refer to something silly or lame;however, that in no way means I'm saying a person who is gay is silly or lame and I think that where there's problems. If you think of the word "retarded" and saying "oh that's so retarded"; that in no way means that I'm saying person who is mentally disabled is stupid. It's another loosely used term with kind of the same idea. Another example could probably be referring to someone or something as "ghetto"

The term gay shares the definition with "happy" so does that mean all gays are overly joyful?

I have tried to tone down the use of these kind of expressions because they can easily be taken the wrong way.

Opinions? My opinion is still swayabale.

[Unknown Entity]

I don't see the big deal about the word "gay", if I'm honest. Its meaning has changed so much, it's ridiculous to take it the wrong way.

I do avoid saying it just in case I do offend someone though.

[Treize]

I don't like how words like gay and retarded are used negatively like that. If the words are used that way and to refer to a set of people, it automatically brings a negative connotation when you talk about the people. I try to avoid using those types of expressions, but that's just my take on it. I'm not really offended if people use those words, but I can really see how someone would get offended. It doesn't look like it's going to change too soon, so it looks like gay and retarded people are just going to have to live with it. =/

[loaf]

Lol the old ass Wanda Sykes commercial about not saying the word "gay". I lol'd.

my only thing towards it is well....so may words in this world are now with multiple definitions because of slang and what not. It's like the word fag. A cigarette or apparently someone who is gay?

[Clint]

People are so sensitive nowadays. Gay people don't like other people, or straight people, using the term gay not in reference to them, as if that they decide what defines the word.

A little history lesson. The word gay seems to have its origins around the 12th century in England, derived from the Old French word gai. The word’s original meaning meant something to the effect of joyful, full of mirth, or bright and showy.

Around the 17th century, the word's meaning changed, and began to mean something along the lines of "carefree." Around the 19th century, "gay" was a reference to prostitutes, and a "gay man" was somebody who had sex with a lot of prostitutes. So I guess Charlie Sheen is a gay man.

It wasn't until 1955 until the word was in reference to homosexual men. So if gay people have to complain about the "improper" use of a word which they claim has a set-definition, that just means they're ****ing retards who don't know their goddamn history.

[Rocky]

I don't think it is the new "*GASP* HE SAID WHAATT?" word, at least yet. If it is, well then I'm in trouble; I call myself gay all the time

If anything, I think the demeaning use of the word "retard" is probably the new N word. Ever since Rosa's Law got put into play, the use of the word has no real meaning anymore besides to be used in a negative connotation. I myself have used the word negatively quite often, and have decided to give it up for Lent. It's definitely something I struggle at lol, but I do work with kids that have disabilities so it does make me feel good when I can set a positive example by not making fun of them.

[Dan558]

Personally I think I've been desensitized as even seeing it as a meaningful insult. I do still register it as also meaning homosexual but I'm logical enough to know the difference when someone is really using it as a slanderous word against homosexuals or if it's just an off-the-cuff derogatory/random insult for lack of a more accurate term.

Kinda like how "Lame" used to/still does mean that a persons legs don't work. But when I hear lame, I almost never think of it that way or even as a severe insult. I was recently surprised when my brother told me that while he was a camp councilor that it was a forbidden word and he had to remind me of the leg thing.

[motscroises]

I feel like these words really lose their meaning after time. If you said 'gay' 80 years ago, people would assume you meant someone was happy. No one uses that word in that term any more. The word 'retarded' is evolving similarly, the medical diagnosis for someone who has difficulty functioning due to a low IQ is not 'mentally retarded' anymore, it is called a 'cognitive impairment'. And now that I think of it, 'idiot' was once a clinical term as well. However, I can see how people can be hurt by the crude use of these words. I'm kind of torn on the subject. I just try to be understanding of both sides of the topic.

[Tiffany]

I'm guilty of using the term "gay" for something that I dislike, but not an immense dislike... if that makes any sense. "Oh, that's so gay" is a catch phrase of mine. I don't see it as being the same as using the oh so derogatory "N" word but I'm sure there are people out there who would disagree with me.

I agree though, word meanings evolve. Back in tha' day, using the term retarded was PC. Now its considered an insult. Guaranteed a bunch more of stuff that we deem socially acceptable today will be an insult of tomorrow.

[Dan558]

This all reminds me of the South Park episode where the kids don't even realize that the word "fag" could be used for homosexuals. They just use it to insult ignorantly loud motorcyclists.

[Angel of Iniquity]

Ehh, I can't really say. Where I live, everybody says it without descretion.
When I am on CoD, if I get killed, I say, "Oh that's gay", or, "Oh you ****ing faggot."
People just laugh.
I think it is quickly loosing it's meaning like ******.

Sorry if I had offended anybody.

[Block]

Being sensitive to others feelings is gay.

No, but really, the word can bring back very hard and dark times for some homosexuals and should be treated with as much respect as the "N" word. Which, by the way, I say all the time, *****.

[Alpha]

I agree completely with Treize.

Though I concede I do say it on occasion, and I also concede that no one uses it to offend.

The problem I see is linking it with things that "aren't good". If something isn't enjoyable, it's gay. If a sport isn't physical, it's sissy. If a person says something dumb, they're a retard.

But if there is nothing inherently wrong with being homosexual, 'feminine', or mentally disabled, then what justifies those associations? I don't think they are as harmless as we think.

I know, from having a severely intellectually disabled sibling, the word 'retard' is very offensive. Of course, it is most offensive when attached to it's "actual" meaning. It does not, however, completely take away it's impact in other situations, and I know this from personal experience.

[Merlin]

The problem isn't the words, its an overly sensitive, sue-happy society that thinks everything is somehow directly insulting them. For example, homosexuals don't want us to call them "gay". So if I unexpectedly say "that car is so gay" to a homosexual, it doesn't mean I want him to put his d#ck in its back end... nor am I talking about the person. I said "the car". This also comes from the consistent removal of grammar from education. If you can't tell that the subject was "the car" in that sentence, ie the object to which the predicate "is so gay" is describing/modifying, than you sir are retarded. Oh but now I just insulted the mentally disabled person who isn't even present by saying a homosexual is retarded. Does that mean that mentally disabled people are gay? Oh damn, now I just insulted both groups. Seriously, WTF?

People no longer have a concept of context. Everything we say is contextually based. If you strip away the context of anything it sounds wrong and can be interpreted wrong. For example, many people can make anything you say sound sexually explicit out of context. You could be teaching someone how to stake a tent and say "Just stick it in the hole and jam it down hard". OMG you want to do what?

The point is that people are getting offended over things that make no sense.

Here is a few more examples of why context makes all the difference, not the word:

• Calling a homosexual a faggot. WRONG
• Asking a British person to pass the fags. OK
• "Those damn (N-word)gers keep loitering on my property!" WRONG
• "What up my (N-word)gas, how you iz doingz?" (between people of the same race, not say a caucasian to african americans.) OK
• "Hey retard, stop drooling on the book!" WRONG
• "This class is so retarded" OK

The problem is, there are a lot of people who simply cannot tell the difference. This means that the rest of us have to censor ourselves to appease the ignorant. I've gotten to the point that I replace phrases with silly stuff just so people can't throw up the insult card.

• "That's so raven!" Classic. Gives people weird vibes every time. ^^
• "Son of a biscuit!"
• "Shut the front door!"
• "Fudge!"
• "Moist and beefy" Don't ask...

[Tallulah]

I don't see the big deal about the word "gay", if I'm honest. Its meaning has changed so much, it's ridiculous to take it the wrong way.

I do avoid saying it just in case I do offend someone though.

This.

There are quite a few gay and bisexual people at my work (two of them are married, or rather in a 'civil partnership' - but one of them has taken the other's surname, so as far as I'm concerned they're married!) so I am quite aware of the whole gay thing.

I was shocked however, when in the staffroom Glen, one of my gay colleagues called Kev, who is also gay, a 'homo', and hearing Kev resond with 'Shut up, you faggot!' It was amusing to listen to, but I knew it was a bit of jokey banter. I know I could certainly never get away with saying anything like thaty to either of them, not that I would.

There was also a funny 'foot in mouth' incident at work, when Kelly one of the girls, advised Jack (another one of the gay guys at work) not to use a particular piece of equipment (one of the coffee machines) because it was 'being gay'. She realised her mistake after she said it and was so embarrassed! For the record I don't think Jack noticed.

[Pete]

I don't really worry about offending too many people when I speak. I try not to deal with people who get all pissy when the words gay and retard are thrown around. The only exception would be if someone was actually retarded, and I called them a retard... I'd feel pretty badly then.

Other than that, the word nigger is a word that has also lost much of its meaning. On one hand, it's a loaded word, with lots of connotation of slavery and overt racism. On the other hand, when black people are referring to each other as niggas, it really loses that whole forbidden vibe that it's had.

[Diamond Dust]

Amusing thread. I'll throw a couple of ironies in the hat. I have two female friends who are very openly bi-sexual (one of which is currently in a relationship with another girl) - the other with whom I am currently trying to woo (woo!) and both girls quite often refer to things that don't appeal to them or annoy them as 'gay'. It's just a word, neither I or they give a toss about it to be quite frank.

The other one is something between myself and another friend (we're both Caucasian) and regular 'abuse' each other with what some people would consider racist inferences. Neither of us do it publicly, and neither of us have any intention of calling a man or lady of African descent in the street a '(n-word)gers', 'Paki', 'Jew', 'white honkey' or what have you. Some people might think that is stupid, and it probably is but it's a conversation out of harms way between two adults talking in private and concerns no one else. I am white, so should I be offended if someone calls me a white honkey or a cracker (which is true by physical definition) or something that isn't, not least a friend saying it too? Don't think so. People are ridiculously sensitive these days, but mostly people just fall onto the bandwagon of political correctness.

I am in no way a racist person and have no intentions of harming, hurting, talking down to or abusing people because of their genetic make up but words are words and people often abuse the general sensitivity for their own gain ie playing the racist card (I've seen it done first hand on more than one occasion). Words just describe the blindingly obvious truth in many cases.

[che]

It's true that "gay" is associated with things people consider "stupid" or "unfortunate". However, I don't think everyone that uses the term loosely means it in a way that it intended to offend homosexual people.

At least in the United States, it's a slang of a majority of people's vocabulary - at least where I live.

The use of the word that upsets me most as a heterosexual male (outside of direct use to intentionally offend someone who is homosexual) is when people use it in a sentence like "Oh yeah, Tommy's a gay." As if to say that he is "one of them gays", aka not part of the norm.

This being said, I do believe as well that people should be less sensitive about loose terms and more concerned with the intent behind them.

[Selcopa]

Haha I remember

I saw the wanda sykes commerical and i rofled pretty hard, as far as Gay being the new N-word, may I present you with.
seems the website didnt like the hot link, anyways the picture Here

Haha I love it. I've shown it to blacks, gays, gay blacks, whites, straights, white straights, and everything else i've yet to find someone offended by it. And I dont think ill be too upset when i do.

FWIW If I was the kid on that Wanda Sykes commercial I woulda said it there too.

[sayian]

...... i think offensive language is personal and should only be taken personal and offensive if its referrd to YOU... it has little to do with the word but HOW u use it.. two people having a conversation and throwing the N or G word around is non of my business unless there disrespecting ME, then ill find that offensive but otherwize... live ur life and say what ever but always take in consideration that for every action there is a reaction...

[Locke4God]

No,,, Gay is not the new N word. But I'd like to explain why below, because it will never be for an unavoidable reason.

First, just understand the simply fact that gayness will always be a minority trait, and you have to understand how human nature views most minority traits.

What happens is that young boys esspecially, grow up in competition. For everything. One of those competitions is to prove their masculinity. Now an 8 year old doesn't understand his sexuality yet, and so he strives to prove his masculinity to fit in, or he alienates himself. If he alienates himself, he sets himself off as different. If he participates, he merely confuses himself later when he realizes that he doesn't actually care to be masculine at all.

You have to understand that a young teenage boy, who is irresponsible, and still doesn't understand the world, is not mature enough in many cases to understand or accept gayness, because he still has to prove his masculinity more than he has his entire life. You can't change this. Education will help sure, but it will never ever eliminate it. Being gay, for a young teenager will always be viewed by them as losing the "alpha male" race, and for younger boys it will always be confusing because it's not what they know most other boys are. They'll wonder why, and struggle to find others who are like them, because at that point, few are willing to admit they are gay. They don't know how. It's easy to say you're straight, because it's what everybody is, it's what you're supposed to be, it's what all the cool kids are, and it always will be. But the term gay, will always be used by young boys to ensue another boy's lower position on the masculinity rankings. For them it means, you're not as manly.

[che]

No,,, Gay is not the new N word. But I'd like to explain why below, because it will never be for an unavoidable reason.

First, just understand the simply fact that gayness will always be a minority trait, and you have to understand how human nature views most minority traits.

What happens is that young boys esspecially, grow up in competition. For everything. One of those competitions is to prove their masculinity. Now an 8 year old doesn't understand his sexuality yet, and so he strives to prove his masculinity to fit in, or he alienates himself. If he alienates himself, he sets himself off as different. If he participates, he merely confuses himself later when he realizes that he doesn't actually care to be masculine at all.

You have to understand that a young teenage boy, who is irresponsible, and still doesn't understand the world, is not mature enough in many cases to understand or accept gayness, because he still has to prove his masculinity more than he has his entire life. You can't change this. Education will help sure, but it will never ever eliminate it. Being gay, for a young teenager will always be viewed by them as losing the "alpha male" race, and for younger boys it will always be confusing because it's not what they know most other boys are. They'll wonder why, and struggle to find others who are like them, because at that point, few are willing to admit they are gay. They don't know how. It's easy to say you're straight, because it's what everybody is, it's what you're supposed to be, it's what all the cool kids are, and it always will be. But the term gay, will always be used by young boys to ensue another boy's lower position on the masculinity rankings. For them it means, you're not as manly.

What about gay females?

[Locke4God]

Tough to say. Females are a totally different thing. They don't have to live through the masculinity contest that is being a male.

I'd say it's "relatively" easy for a lezbian vs a gay male. You don't suffer quite the amount of ridicule and other girls are more understanding anyway. Guys of course don't care either way whether you're a lezbian or not. They may like you as a person, but they'll dismiss you as a dateable prospect, and will fawn you if you're actually attractive. Either way they won't hate on you by in large, at least not how they'd use "gay" as a slanderous term toward any non-manly guy.

Realize that guys don't use the term gay to actually make fun of gay people. They use it to call out other guys who aren't acting manly regardless of sexual persuasion.

Of course the point of this is whether or not GAY becomes a pejorative term. Sure. I'm not saying the term "gay" can't be used slanderously, but with it's roots in adolescense, unless you're going to eliminate the processes of growing from a boy into a man, then you're never going to get rid of gay slurs and insults. It's just a part of life really, and perhaps unfortunately, but it's really not something you can do anything about and for that reason isn't worth putting much thought into.

[Selcopa]

Plus its totally hot when 2 hot chicks start lezzin out(not so much with a couple of butch ones, but you cant deny the stigma is alot better for 2 chicks over 2 dudes swappin spit)

[motscroises]

I disagree whole heartedly with all of this. Just because women don't have to deal with the pressure of being 'alpha' does not mean that lesbians do not have a tough time being accepted by their female peers. Instead of being picked on, they are feared and ridiculed. Also, while it is not uncommon for people to be stimulated by gay/lesbian erotica, I think referring to that as 'lezzin out' is crude and objectifying as opposed to saying 'that's so gay' which may be crude, but may not.

So let's clarify. Saying 'That's gay' may or may not be offensive because the person saying it may not be thinking of a gay person or referring to any gay people. It still may be offensive though because it makes people feel defined by their sexual preferences. However, saying someone is 'lezzin out' IS offensive because you are referring to two lesbians and you are most certainly defining them by their sexual orientation. Not cool.

[OceanEyes28]

Selcopa, I really hope you were being sarcastic. I don't know your online persona at all, but I want to believe you're not a doofus.

I don't know about the new "N" word, but I do feel like you have to know your audience before using it. It used to offend me to hear it used in an "oh that's gay" fashion, but I find the less I let things offend me, the happier I am. Imo, it's the intention behind the word, not the word itself.

motscroises is smart. <3

[Selcopa]

I have to balance my ranges somewhat, between the well thought out posts that have excellent construction, and spur of the moment, borderline offensive content that does have a tendency to make people want to stab me in the throat, but also tend of have a few nuggets of truth to them, which is what instills the violent mindsets in people that read those posts.

But sure, you want a more serious post, we'll start with what i actually said, 2 girls kissing IS lezzing out, you can call it crude or whatever but that is the action.

Second, if you take a poll of any decent sized sample, and ask the question would you rather watch 2 guys start making out, or 2 girls make out, girls is going to win out every time.

Combine that with the fact of how significantly more socially acceptable it is for a girl to be bisexual, compared to a guy being bisexual, most people(guys specifically) will tell you that a guy cannot be bi, i'm in the camp myself(either gay or straight, no bi for guys)
So while it might not necessarily be "easy" for girls to be gay, it is certainly easier compared to guys.

And again with getting a bee in your bonnet about lezzin out being such an offensive term, i'd have to ask, if the aspect of yourself that is causing you to have lesbian relations with someone else, if that isn't what is causing you to do such things, what part of you is? It's not the aspect of you that likes men thats causing you to do it, unless you are really trying to cause an interesting situation.

We use terms like this in all aspects, we call it donking out in poker, tiltin up, suffering from bender-itus in hockey, things getting gay really quick.

I could probably find some terms more offensive than 'lezzin out'

[OceanEyes28]

Just because some (not all) guys want to see girls making out doesn't mean it is easier for a woman to be gay. Some men do not understand the amount of objectification and disrespect the average woman has to deal with on a day to day basis. Some men even think we should lighten up and "take it as a compliment." However, it is never pleasant to feel as though your personal space could be violated at any moment. A gay woman has to deal with the same insults, only if her sexual orientation is obvious in some way, she gets that hate card thrown at her too. "Hey baby, get a good hard **** in ya, maybe change you'll your mind." "Hey dyke, you eat ***** 'cause no man would **** you?" "Hey, why don't you ladies lez out while me and my buddy **** you in your asses?"

For example.

(it is not unheard of for things that crude to be proclaimed for all to hear and enjoy)

Understand that the reason a lot of men want to see two girls making out is not because these two women are freely expressing their sexual orientation or love/affection for a partner. It's the objectification that's so popular.

EDIT: And that's only if they're attractive. If they're fugly, no one wants to see that shit, amirite, bros? imrite.

[Angel of Iniquity]

EDIT: And that's only if they're attractive. If they're fugly, no one wants to see that shit, amirite, bros? imrite.

*clears throat*
... yep...
You're right.

However, I may not mind seeing women make out, I don't think it is morally right, however, it seems there are more lesbian or Bi woman where I am from.
But heres the thing, allot of them are good looking, and due to the amount of Bi's over here... I have the feeling they are doing it for male attention.

Anyways, what does this have to do with the topic? LOL

[Alpha]

It has everything to do with the topic.

I think there are valid arguments from both perspectives. Anecdotally, I would say women are more likely to be openly homosexual or bisexual. However I don't think it's because non-heterosexuality is any easier for women, but because sexuality itself is feminised. Men don't talk about sexuality, as a generalisation (which I can make, as a man). Men talk about sex, as do women. However I do believe that it is considered a greater taboo for a man to discuss his sexuality.

I also agree with Ocean in that women's sexuality is more objectified. We've seen that in this thread, what with the "lezzin' out".

So. Men's sexuality: more taboo; not objectified. Women's sexuality: relatively less taboo, more objectified. At least, that's how I see it initially. Haven't put much thought into this.