I have criticized FF7 quite a bit in my time I have graced the earth with my presence, but I promise this will be my 50th to last time.
Cloud was one of the things that took down the series. Before FF7, it was gamers and RPGers only. but once people saw the cover and commercials to the game, it attracted a new, strange form of creature. The otaku. This whole anime style of character design and melodramatic scripts is what otaku loved, and they needed to survive. The spiky blonde hair, the single pauldron even though he uses two handed weapon, and the weapon itself.
The Buster sword is an extremely useless weapon unless you had the physique of a jacked up Lou Ferrigno. Now, if you were to ask a combat oriented person what the largest sword would have to be, most would say a Scottish claymore. These were commonly 6 to 7 pounds. That is pretty effin' heavy for a weapon. Now look at The Buster sword. That has got to weigh at least 30-45 pounds. That's not going to happen. Now I can hear you saying "Antidrall, you Japanophobe! Cloud's a SOLDIER! He has super strength and everything! gravity is just a suggestion for him!". First off, I'm not a Japanophobe. Japan is home to my second favorite warriors, the Samurai. second, If he's super strong, then where the hell are his muscles? In all of the cutscenes we see his about as physically fit as Micheal Cera, but he can use a sword that would break his back? Now to the best of my knowledge, hundereds of anime have had characters using weaponry that'd make blacksmiths scratch their heads. And Cloud's isn't necessarily the worst. It's just a blanketed statement saying "Yeah, this shit is just not going to happen." Seriously, try looking up a sword replica website and find a to scale model of the sword, no swordsmith is going to the effort of making a weapon, no matter how big of a fanboy they are, is not going to go through the effort of making a sword that improbable!
His character is what gets me the most. People say that he's such a deep and understandable character when he just plain isn't. When we first start as him, he's an asshole, constantly demanding his money, and insulting his comrades. He even acts this way in front of his childhood friend. In Crisis core, we learn that after Zack dies, Cloud takes his sword, and is apparently experimented on by Hojo...for some reason, he's a scientist, it's their job to **** with nature. And this causes a cosmic coincidence that plants him with Zack's memories, replacing him with Zack and all interactions between Zack and other characters being done with him. Now, that is a cruel joke played on him by some celestial forces if you ask me. Also, if he got Zack's personality, why is he such a Jack hat? In Crisis Core, Zack was basically a boy scout, always looking to help out and everything. But as said above, Cloud was demanding more money from Barrett who's saving the extra money for Marlene to go to school. But after his Nu metal induced coma, he becomes even worse, totally emotionless. Sephiroth was calling him a puppet before? Now he's the very definition of the word. any interactions with the story made it felt as though he was just blankly looking at stuff, saying the most obvious statements. We're not given any personality besides bland, I know, some are saying "well what do you think? he just found out he's basically been walking around as a cosplay of a SOLDIER!" Well, little Squeenix fanboy, I too would be humiliated if I ever cosplayed, but I would also give a shit that the world is going to go Armageddon style, and Bruce Willis isn't available! Seriously, go back and play that game, I just got off it recently, and he was totally emotionless, like me whenever I'm presented with a dead relative. Don't even get me started on the movie where it was cemented that he was emo. I don't like using that word because it makes me sound like a little 15 year old punk, but I'm saying it. Cloud Strife is now and eternally an Emo.
Well there you have it, my short rant on why I don't like Cloud. Which isn't to say that I despise him. There's some moments in the first disc where he was legitimately badass, but he is still a weak character. I could however write a novel on why Tidus can promptly be piledrived off of the chrysler building.
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