Thought on Arena: Ryu-Kentoshii Hirokima VS. Alther Primus

[Ryu-Kentoshii Hirokima]

Hey TFF This is a Thread where you can comment on the Battle I just had with my Big Brother, Alther Primus.

Here is the Link: http://thefinalfantasy.net/forums/ro...er-primus.html

[Dodie16]

I liked it. It was a good read and an interesting battle. I thought the pacing was good, and the responses to one another were short and sweet. I am especially fond of the ending, how you don't wind up killing one another, but instead grab a bite to eat!

I thought that was a great twist!

Anyway, great job guys, and congratulations to both warriors! It was one hell of a match.

[Elyon Seraphim]

I liked it. It was a good read and an interesting battle. I thought the pacing was good, and the responses to one another were short and sweet. I am especially fond of the ending, how you don't wind up killing one another, but instead grab a bite to eat!

I thought that was a great twist!

Anyway, great job guys, and congratulations to both warriors! It was one hell of a match.

Well... who is this? XD lol okay i was kidding! Glad you liked it!

[Victoria]

Compared to: http://thefinalfantasy.net/forums/ro...ess-decay.html

I'd have to say that your battle is a travesty and gives RPBing a bad name. Sure, you guys still need to experience and learn how to actually write well, but I'm too blunt and unforgiving to let that slide.

Very bad. On the scale of 10, your battle is a 0.
By all means, if you want to improve, I can give you tips and pointers, on one condition. You actually listen to the advice. >.>;

And as a free, sample first pro tip: Stop using asterisks and write out the details of what you're doing.

PS: I'm aware that the RP/B forums are mostly dead, so you have no real actual examples of what a real RPB is, so I somewhat forgive the fact that you don't have any references to go off of.

[RamesesII]

Aww Sheena your are so harsh and brutal haha.

It was a good quick fight simple and clean, i do agree with Sheena there is plenty of room for improvement and growth i can't stress enough to use plenty of verbs, adjectives, metaphors, and giving persona can enhance the simplest of stories/fights it makes it a more gripping read. I am eager to see the next one.

[DragonHeart]

Well, we all have to start somewhere. However, before you began your battle you should have read the Newcomer Advice thread first which lays out the basic rules for RPBs. These aren't the same as chat battles and it states directly in the rules that two-line posts are not allowed.

If you would like to learn how to do TFF style RPBs I am also willing to help you out. I've done a few in my day and I can help show you how the real thing works. I'd even set up a demo battle if you feel you'd want one since it can be difficult to learn by example when there aren't many around anymore.

~DragonHeart~