Suicide

[Ryayukou]

Everyone has, or had at one point in their life, suicidal thoughts.

I didn't really have suicidal thoughts during high school. I was very depressed and hated my life due to family issues at home, but I'd never thought I was that depressed. I started to have them during my second semester at school. I was going through a really bad relationship and was unsure of my future and what I wanted to do. I also was hanging out with a very bad crew and wasn't doing well in school life or social life. I barely passed school and I took some time off.

The thoughts never stopped coming. As I battled my ex and terrible friends, I fell into a deep hole that I couldn't get out of. I lost interest in everyone I knew and loved, I stopped eatting, stopped working, I just lay on my bed and felt sorry for myself. My real friends called me, asking me to go hang out with them and my mom begged me to get out and eat. Nothing could make me happy. Finally one night, I blew up at my mom after she accused me of cutting myself, shouting that I really WOULD kill myself and that no one would miss me if I were gone. I don't know what stopped me from fulfilling that deed, but teary talks and phonecalls certainly informed me that I AM loved and many people would indeed miss me being gone. How could I leave them behind to deal with my death, wondering if there was anything they could have done to stopped me killing myself.

I knew I needed help, so I sought out a counselor to see what they could do. At first he prescribed me anti-depressants, but those only made my temper worse and I started to come talk to him, to let out my thoughts and anger. He encouraged me to write everything in a journal, and then he read what I wrote after a few weeks. He told me he thought a lot of the problems stemmed from my homelife, and asked if there was any way I could mend them. I eventually moved out from my family, and have been living on my own for a year and a half.

I'm definately happier than I have been living there, but I still get my depressing thoughts. I'm not on medication, I just have a lot of anger and sad emotions I have to work out.

How 'bout you guys?

[Yuki-onna]

The first time I thought about suicide was in a playground, when I was little, and I thought if I ran into the merry go round it'd rip me apart. Then simple things like walking into traffic, jumping off bridges, going into the river (I didn't learn to swim till I was 9 or 10).

I was a little depressed as a child.

Then high school, late into high school I became a popular barbie and still wanted to off myself, when I got into college I started cutting, then I was pulled out and got into the family business, I did that more, drank, did drugs, crime, whatever was the most destructive. I tried therapy, but all they did was throw more drugs at me which made me feel like a soulless creature. And the therapy? When you say you're frightened of men and a therapist says well, some therapists have been known to abuse their clients. It's quite common. You know you're in a bad place...

Then I decided maybe my environment was driving me crazy.

So I left.

Then I got involved in some more crap, but you know, you can't help everything that gets thrown at you. I either have really bad luck or am a really poor judge of character. And am really good at making people hate me. God, I suck as a human being.

But, I have my lil bro, and he's been the only person legitimately standing at my side for the last years. If it weren't for him, I'd go stark raving mad. Yeah, my life is still in some stage of shambles, but I'm sure if we work together, we can make it much better...haha.

[winterborn86]

I think almost everyone has felt the way u ave, i did a few years bck, i ran away frm home drank all the time an i was in a bad relationship, i attemted it a few times overdoses wiv vodka an cuttin myself (was to p*ssed 2 actually do any harm) but now i so glad none of the attempts worked i gotta nice flat an a lovely daughter

Hope u doin beta now tho hun x

[Sinister]

I would be lying if I said I had not. Hunter S. Thompson once said: "I'd feel pretty trapped if I didn't know that I could commit suicide at any moment." I have to agree. But then, he did commit suicide. So did Hemingway. And so many other masters and great men.

I have something of a supersanity, which is to say that everyday that I wake up I have a different take on life in general. Which is as much bad as it is anything else.

I once strangled myself with the sleeves of a long black cotton shirt. I hate myself for announcing this, but it was a gratifying feeling. I tied it in a knot, but I managed to tear the shirt away just as my limbs started to throb and I got a headache.

But most often it takes the form of me taking unnecessary risks with my own life. I once took fifteen Benadryl knowing that they most likely would NOT kill me. Also ODed on myristicin, which produced a heart rate of 160(while sitting) fear of death, and made my heart stop for eight seconds. On a bet I once ate seven Narcissus, the lycorine present in the stems(40% less than roots) eventually caused me to vomit rather than seize, convulse and die and I made 150 dollars.


These were all done with me fully aware of their chances and risks. I go through periods of deep profound depression(for which I do take medication) and have these episodes. The above is merely a sampling. So you see, my assessment of the worth of MY life is somewhat...fragile.

-Sin

[winterborn86]

You shouldnt hate yourself for sayin it, it take a alot of inner strengh and courage to admit stuff like this, as it so peronal to you,its not easy being open about it, esp wen u get alot of people out in the world who would judge you for doing something like this, buts its coz they clearly dnt understand what its like to feel so depressed that u think suicides the only way out
u should be proud that you got the stength to admit it x x

[Sinister]

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Most people do seem to look down on things like that and that does make it even worse. You feel even MORE depressed and it's harder to rebound and that is a shame. I've been caught up in situations like that far too many times. It's only a wonder that anyone survives a genuine suicidal 'attempt'.

-Sin

[Furore]

Ahhhh suicide...

It's not a path for me, yet it seems impossible not to think about it in today's day and age when you hear of it so often. I remember trying to stab myself once when I was little, young primary school age I believe. I wonder though if it were more of a curiousity thing than a depression thing though now honestly.
I can be rather prone to doing something stupid solely for the sake of satisfying curiousity...

Depending on whatever my problems are, I tend to be more prone to talk them out, avoid them or beat them physically depending on the problem's nature. If someone breaks up with me I avoid them until I feel alright again. If I have a problem with a friend I talk it over with them. And if I have a problem with some wannabe tough guys I'll beat them so bad the problem never arises again.

It's not the best way for everyone though I'm guessing. Beats suicide though...
Personally I couldn't respect anyone's decision to commit suicide. I feel it's the easy way out and it ****s too many other people over. Yeaps...

[Ryayukou]

I'm glad this thread is getting replies. I've also gotten a couple of PMs from members that didn't want to share their story publicly. It's helped me a lot to hear from them as well as you guys, because suicide just doesn't go away, it lingers for a while. Like many of you, I still battle depression on a regular basis, and my minor in college is studying problems like these. I've gotten an internship to counsel and talk to kids who have the same problems as me. Please, keep talking!

[Violet]

Nothing rewards suicide. I believe in an after life of heaven and hell, so the way I see it, killing yourself just throws you in an even more miserable situation. That's one of the reasons why I could never commit it. The thought has gone through my mind at depressing times, mainly due to me thinking I have nobody or no future. But that's the thing. You can't tell yourself there is nothing in life for you to gain. There's too many possibilities out there. Committing suicide is giving up and throwing all chances of opportunity down the drain without even putting in some effort. Hell, you could meet the person who could help you out of that hole right around the corner. I'd rather try EVERY single thing there is in life(which is near impossible)before I let myself give up. It's that thread of hope in which you should hang on to.

[Pete]

To be perfectly honest, I feel that suicide is for the weak and cowardly, because it's simply taking the easy way out of your problems, and leaving your family and friends with sorrow, remorse, a burden and guilt (for not doing enough, for not getting you help, for not being there more, etc.) and lord knows what else.

However, that isn't to say that I haven't been depressed, because I've been pretty bad before. And none of this teenage suburban "my parents give me everything I want and I hate my life" bullshit either.
It all started on my 15th birthday. My grandfather was rushed to the hospital because he had an ulcer burst in his stomach. He was bleeding everywhere and had to be rushed in. My aunt called hysterical at 2am, when I was a good lil kid and was fast asleep. Three days later and much to everyone's shock, he died. It was early Friday morning, and he was supposed to be coming home. That never happened. He was buried September 3rd, 2001.

Eight days later, we all know what happened. The towers came down and the world was forever changed. Being that I live in Queens, which is one of the 5 boroughs that make up the NY City, I was less than 10 miles from the towers and could see them from my apartment's rooftop. My aunt worked on the 95th floor of tower 2. My dad was working in the federal courthouses just blocks away and my mom worked about a mile away from the towers. When everything came down, none of the teachers were telling us anything, except for our Global history teacher. I'll never forget his words. "Class... the World Trade Center doesn't exist anymore. It's just a pile of steel, cement and bodies." I didn't find out that my family and aunt were all ok until about 3pm that afternoon, which was far too long in my opinion.

Regardless, having my grandfather die, and then thinking that my parents were also dead, along with the horror of 9/11 within a span of two weeks completely fucked with my mind. That evening I sat on the ledge of my roof with a handle of vodka. I finished the remaining half of the bottle, which led to many and many more, at the ripe old age of 15. For some reason I could not get over the idea that I was never living up to what my grandfather would have wanted me to be, and that just made me angrier at myself and ultimately more depressed. I hated waking up, I hated eating or really doing anything but sitting around and playing videogames. It was pathetic. Never once though did I ever think of killing myself though, because I just thought about how much more that would hurt everyone that cared about me; not that I thought they cared.

Then one day, when I was about 16, probably a year and a half after everything had happened, I just kind of snapped out of it. I just stopped caring about what anybody else thought, and did what I felt like doing. This new way of thinking completely got my life back on track, and it felt like pure self actualization; like I finally saw myself as a person who was just as good as anyone else.

I guess it just took me a long time to realize that living my life up to a dead man's standard's is no way to live, because you're not actually living. Trying to do everything to honor someone's memory is no way to live. Remembering the good things and good times you've had with them is the way to do it. Living your own life to your own standards and becoming who YOU want to be is the best way to honor someone, not by hiding in the shadow of their headstone.

[Che]

I look at suicide pretty much the same way Pete does. When I'm depressed I don't ever feel like I want to kill myself. I feel that if things ever get so bad that I have to kill myself, I'll simply change my life around COMPLETLY. Whatever it takes. Move to a different country, anything. I guess my philosophy is I can't take my life until I know about how everything works, and there is so much to experience. Sometimes I feel that the only things holding me back are the government and society. We have to work everyday, do this and that. I'm losing my adventurous self to these things we are told to do every day.

Sometimes I just want to get away, but never take my life. I used to be a psychology major until one day I realized I'd be a horrible psychologist because I don't believe in killing yourself. I wouldn't be able to completely understand suicidal people ever.

[Koda]

Every single day of our lives we are given challenges and choices. It's true that many people in the world can turn dirt into gold, and life is very easy for them. And then there are many of us that have turmoil after turmoil, which in turn leads to the deep dark depression thoughts. I've been there so many times, I can't count them. But, the thing to remember is......regardless of what the circumstances, there is someone that loves you, and would you want to put anyone through that type of loss? I had a niece that committed suicide when she was 22 years old. She left behind two babies, now 17 and 18 years old. Those two girls never got to grow up with their Mom and still shed tears to this day because of it. So the next time you have those kind of thoughts, even though I know that life isn't always a bowl full of cherries, there is always an alternative. What drives us to depression, can only make us stronger as we fight it. No matter how low you feel, or how bad things are......YOU have to be bigger than the problem and take charge of your own life. That is how you beat it. And for every brick wall that you might run in to.....turn the corner and take a different route. There is always another way besides ending your life.

[Sharzademar]

The ever cheerful, comically egotistical, and existence-pondering Sharzademar is a young one, and hasn't experienced as much pain as some of the previous posters. Yet he empathizes for them. It is nothing to be ashamed of. What doesn't kill us should make us stronger, even if it is ourselves.

(Speaking in first person now)

I always felt left out as a kid, too, but it was different. As a kid, I was extremely hyper, and my radical sense of humor and naive belief that everyone would be nice to each other was not welcomely met. I met injustice with shouts and yells, injustices like being made to be quite for being too loud. I was five, I saw no harm in it. Of course no one explained why, they just punished. I was subjected to the insults of moronic lowlifes who preyed on the defeated carcass of my spirit, insults ranging from fag (which had no basis), to dumbass(because my radical thoughts did not coincide with the petty, low thoughts of my peers.) While all this may seem trivial, it is essential to explaining the rest of my life.

I was isolated and alone well into the sixth grade. I had developed anger problems as a way of coping with the world's lack of understanding. I began to observe my surrounding, and became infuriated at how such idiocy could thrive in an institute of learning. How could these idiots be concerned with who Jessica asked to the dance and R. Kelly's... problems... when we had the power to do anything with our educations? This thought isolated me further, until I met my first real friend, on the first day of seventh grade.

His name was Joshua Massey, his voice was nasal, his black hair should have been dubbed, "Worst Afro Ever", yet fate guided me to the last seat available on the bus, and by God, he was funny as hell. He is still my friend, and I am 16 now. I must have gotten sevens on the slots of life, because I met my second real friend, James Parker Bailes, or Parker, at the end of school. Parker started out being a little overweight with curly hair that barely passed his forehead. He is now 275 pounds, has Jesus hair, and is the one who lost his virginity. But, he had a good outlook on life.

I remember the conversation we had, and it is almost identical to the random stuff we say today:

SHARZA: You guys see any funny things lately?

JOSH: (sarcastically)On the Static Channel, I saw the adventures of Static Man!

SHARZA: GOD! The special effects of that show are amazing!!!!

PARKER: (playfully interjecting)I personally like the colored bars better.

JOSH: (comically aghast)*gasps* You're sick! You're a sick man!

SHARZA: (humorously condescending) Honestly, Parker, we're having a civilized conversation, we're not reminiscing about some "color orgy."

Because of some dirty jokes, I met Tyler Jackson (who I constantly worry about) and Daniel Darling (who is a genius, but a sick, crazy genius, and a little disillusioned.) At first Tyler scared me (he was constantly angry), but we are still friends, and he is the one friend I see myself in.

Wow, I've digressed! Anyways, my inevitable downfall began in the last days of seventh grade. I had trouble turning in homework, and, until then, cared very much about my grades. I hated reality and wished to exist in my fantasy world that I had devised (and that's where my user name came from!) I was young, hadn't quite grasped how to talk to people I don't know or how people think, and wanted it all to end.

Then the eighth grade came, and every bad aspect of my life intensified. I developed a crush on a girl whom I was friends to a guy she was friends with. But the thing about me is I form attachments to people I like, attachments that could be confused with obsession. Plus, there was I day I exploded in rage at her because she wouldn't give me a pencil, but I would have exploded at anyone who had three pencils and failed to produce a good reason for lending me one. So, now she was afraid of me, like everyone else. You see, my outbursts had become more frequent, and mockery had turned to fear. Ironically, the only two people I ever hurt had hit me first.

And, to make the situation worse, I had her number on speed dial, and my mom would occasionally fall asleep with the phone, so just in case it rang, she wouldn't have to get up (bad knees). She rolled over and hit the speed dial, and I was accused of calling her at midnight. To her, it was like I had formed an unhealthy obsession with her, and called her at midnight like some rapist. I got over it with time.

I digress, yet again! This is all the foundation to my current problem, as I believe that any minor thing changes a person's life. I started to cut myself a few months ago. I was depressed about how my mother and I fight all the time, and how she does so much for me, yet I disregard it. On the other hand, I never agreed with her. This self-hatred led to my sarcastic egotistical remarks, but the sarcastic part disappeared very soon.
Major changes occurred, I discovered I was bi (and that I probably always was), but most importantly, that the world started to move faster than me. A person I liked (who was NOT scared of me) moved, I found a new crowd of friends who unintentionally make me feel inadequate, although they have tried to tell me that I wasn't. I formed a new view on the Christian God (and his non-existence).

But my main problem was knowledge. Ignorance is bliss, and my life is a product of my jaded perspective on the human race. The more I discover, the more I feel powerless to stop it. I'm also weak-minded, easily distracted, impulsive, manic, easily manipulated, "clingy", unrealistic, and am constantly seeking the answer to unanswerable questions. I often think that death is one way of discovering, seeing that death is the absence of life, how would we experience that (or not experience it?)? I often want to alter reality, just to show people how fragile their comfortable state of mind really is. I hate myself for hating others, I'm lonely, believe in true romance, and thus am depressed over the lack of people my age who believe in it. I'm angry with the world, I hate wars and the politicians that use human lives in their "chess games." I feel inadequate compared to people smarter than me, and feel that my opinion is unworthy of being mentioned.

Sure, I've barely drank and have only smoked pot once, but I'm an emotional trainwreck, and have major reality issues. I am genuinely scared of people reading my mind, I feel a strong connection with the characters of my dreams and wish to be them. I used to cry when I woke up, because my wish had finally come true, but it was only a dream (a bit of a never-ending circle). I have fantastic ideas, but have a hard time translating them into words. I am socially awkward, and attract no interest whatsoever. I hate people who say suicide is cowardly, because they are neither sympathetic or empathetic to a person's emotional suffering. I hate money hungry people, because money is an evil method of control. I hate hypocrites, because one should stick to their moral beliefs. I hate myself, because I am a hypocrite.

And I haven't stopped cutting. Oddly enough, I still don't let stereotypes define me, as I am not that fond of metal, and wear suit coats and jeans.

I guess I just threw up on this thread. Hopefully my mind won't become anorexic. (I had to end with a play on words! ) The smiley is fake. Another bad habit of mine...

[Fate]

Sorry if anyone's offended by this, but I think suicide is just dumb! I mean, you are given a life to live, and now you want to throw it away because something's wrong? You're what's wrong! No matter what happens, there is still a way out. "When one door closes, another door opens!" Also, people tell you never to give up, but here you are, giving up on life! That's sinking so low! As for myself, I would never commit suicide! I don't care if I'm extremely depressed, I still wouldn't do something so stupid and idiotic! Once again, forgive me if I'm being kind of rude.

[HUNK]

Life is filled with many harsh realitys and there are some we just have to face. I would say I have to agree in thinking suicide is not ever a logical choise.

I have almost been to that breaking point accually just about a month ago and I know what its like. It seems like the right thing to do, but you just have to remind yourself that wasting your own life is just a sign that you were to weak to handle the problems life threw at you.

I personally cant let life be the winner so I keep living.

My thoughts,
Andrew J. Bealor

[Dr_Flea]

Don't get me wrong ive had suicidal thoughts before but i never did anything about them becasue i think about all the things in life that i will miss out on: like having a girlfriend, children, getting married just having good times with mates (although when heavily depressed it can be hard to have "Good times")

However my thoughts are similar to some of the others that have posted in here and that suicide is never the option.

No matter how much steaming pile of excrement that life throws at you you can't get weighed down under the burden of it all it's just not worth it. and if you do get weiged down then you have to not give in but be strong and take it one step at a time to deal with it all, and it's not gonna go away by some miracle it's gonna take some hard work to sort it all out and you also shouldn't do it alone (I know that pride gets in the way but sometimes we have to let others in so they can pull us out i should know im the worst for it )the way i got through all my shit was to confide in one friend that is trustworthy enough to be strong and answer pgone calls at 3-4 in the morning when your feeling weak and low.

Anyway just my thoughts

~Dr_Flea~

[Cheesevixen]

I was stationed in a home for abused and neglected children when I was 14 years old. I went to bed hearing children screaming and throwing fits, and everyday was face to face with the worlds forgotten and unloved. At times I thought of what it would be like if I were not in the world. This is where I began my studies of human behavior. I can very well explain everything that I do because of it, and as blunt as I am I very often offend people. This made me a bit of an outcast. While I was beautiful, funny, and smart....I couldn't connect with society in the way normal people would. I spent much of my life trying to tear myself away from human emotions. Trying to run from the people I knew didn't care because they wanted to. They cared because I was a friend, or their daughter, or a nice piece of ass. There were many times in my life back then that I considered killing myself as an out, and I began to talk about this with my counselor after years of only "thought".What he said comforted me. "Crazy people don't know they are crazy", and "People who commit suicide never really don't talk about it...it is more of an attention getter/cry for help." Which made me increasingly happy. It meant that I got out of the danger zone of suicide without anyone's help...because now I was talking about it. That in itself comforted me. So now when I have feelings that I am unwanted I turn to those I can trust with my secret. I will forever live with this darkness inside of me, but accepting it and talking about it lets me know everything will be ok. I don't believe suicide is an out. Not because of the people you "might" hurt, but because you are missing out on a lot of things. I just try to keep in mind,"And This Too Shall Pass".

effects from medication

I have to agree with this in someway. I had always had a bad life, but I was very happy. After going to that place I had to choke down literally 5-25 pills a day. Not only until then did I start to question what the hell I was doing here. I lost a lot of memory as well as the thoughts of suicide.

[Unknown Entity]

I probably have, just don't remember thinking it. I've been on a few real lows at certain parts of my life, to the point when I did indeed cut myself. After that one expreience when i dragged that nail across the side of my arm, I didn't do it again - I couldn't cope with the pain because I'd cut quite deep into my skin, and I felt pathetic for even trying to add to the pain I was already experiencing. I'm just lucky that there isn't much of a mark on my arm - tiny little thing now as I just checked, barely noticeable. That was... 3 years ago now I think.

Now, when I go on a downer, I just end up just... crying it all out of my system. Loud music helps too. Jeese, I sound like such a teen, but seriously, thats how I cope now. Another way I cope is by thinking up and possibly writing down stories, involving someone elses happiness being ruined, but that the ruin turns out to be something good. That gives me a little hope I guess, thinking that I will get back up again. [Btw, I never use real people in these stories - all made up characters. I've never wish something bad on another life, no matter how much detress this person has caused me. Unless they **** with my future kids, of course.].

I remember once, having a row with my mum (this was years ago, I must have been about 13), and I screamed "I wish I was dead!" at her. She gave me a wallop around my head and told me I didn't mean it. Then she didn't talk or look at me for a few hours - I really hurt her by saying that. She was right; I didn't mean it, I just said it out of anger at the heat of the moment.

When it comes down to actually thinking about suicide, I've wondered what would be the quickest way to go - not that I was going to try it at all, but just out of curiosity. Like... If I was to drown myself, how much water would I need to swallow to fill my lungs, and if I was to hang myself in the wardrobe with a dressing gown cord, how long will it take for me to pass out, and then how long until I eventually die kind of stuff. Not proud of thinking it, but I know I would never do any of it.

What doesn't kill us should make us stronger, even if it is ourselves.

Indeed, I believe that. All these experiences I've had have made me who I am today. I like who I am today, especially when I look around at everyone else on my street. I've felt lowest of the low, yet I never allowed my self to take my anger out on a bus stop, or have underage sex, or drink, or take drugs like everyone else on my street. I've had a drink or two, and have tried a few drugs I'm not proud of trying, but never again. Courvosier and coke, of course when I am in my own home lol. ^^

[RamesesII]

I suppose i have thought about it at one stage but then i think i would rather live and my life isn't that bad.
They reckon the best way is electrocution. lol sorry just another bit of my useless trivia

[KamiKazeKenji]

...I had so much in my life; so much views, so much thoughts. All my thoughts and experiences probably wouldn't fit one page... So I won't take the hassle.

But as for suicide... I had realized that it was not the way to go BEFORE I had ever considered it. Perhaps.. I think of this life as a test. Of some sort. Something more profound is waiting for us in the afterlife. A feeling like if we leave this plane we'll never get to go back and we'll come to regret not living life in this plane to it's fullest... Or perhaps it's a feeling of honor. That (if there was an afterlife) we'll be proud that we lived this life to it's fullest. So I won't take my life. No matter what.. It's just not worth what I could possibly miss out. I'll fight.

But IF I were to leave this world in such a fashion... I would jump from the tallest building available (I've always wanted to fly).

[Clint]

Suicide is the most selfish act that anybody can ever do. Not only does it kill the individual, it also kills the family. If somebody in the family kills his or her self, the family will never be the same again, and will slowly but surly fall apart. If somebody loves themself over everybody else, then he or she will actually go through with suicide. If somebody loves their family over themself, then the thought of actually going through with any suicidal thoughts will be out of the question.

Most people, especially women, will say that they are thinking about killing themselves, but saying something and doing something are two different things. They only tell people that they're going to kill themselves because they want to get attention. That's why you see so many people cutting their wrists. Usually, cutting of the wrists isn't enough to kill, but it's as if saying, "Hey, I'm threatening my own life, pay attention to me." I mean, if somebody really wanted to kill themself, they wouldn't talk about it, they would just do it. It's just like those so-called "bullies" back in the day at school who said that they were going to kick your ass, but never did. Actions back up words, not the other way around.

If somebody is actually planing to kill his or her self, my suggestion to that person would be to grow the **** up and stop thinking only about yourself, because suicide doesn't hurt you, it just hurts everybody that you care about. And if you actually do kill yourself, then I really hope you rot in hell for all eternity merely for putting your loved ones through the misery.

[Sasquatch]

Suicide is the most selfish act that anybody can ever do.

Most suicidal people, I'd imagine, consider their act selfless, not selfish. If they think they're no good for anybody else, they think they're doing everybody a favor by taking themselves out.

Not only does it kill the individual, it also kills the family. If somebody in the family kills his or her self, the family will never be the same again, and will slowly but surly fall apart.

And what if they have no family? Teenagers in high school aren't the only ones that are suicidal.

If somebody loves themself over everybody else, then he or she will actually go through with suicide. If somebody loves their family over themself, then the thought of actually going through with any suicidal thoughts will be out of the question.

Unless they love their family and consider their family better off without them.

Most people, especially women, will say that they are thinking about killing themselves, but saying something and doing something are two different things. They only tell people that they're going to kill themselves because they want to get attention.

I wouldn't say most, but some, sure. You'll always have the children (whether they're young or not) that try to get attention like that -- but that's no reason to ignore or belittle the ones with real problems.

That's why you see so many people cutting their wrists. Usually, cutting of the wrists isn't enough to kill, but it's as if saying, "Hey, I'm threatening my own life, pay attention to me."

A simple conversation with a cutter would let you correct yourself on this. While there are always people who will do fill-in-the-blank for attention, there are others who actually do it. And of those who actually do it, most actualy hide their marks and scars, not show them off. Or cut in a place that isn't seen.

I mean, if somebody really wanted to kill themself, they wouldn't talk about it, they would just do it.

Not all suicidal people talk about it. Usually, the ones that do are trying to find another option.

If somebody is actually planing to kill his or her self, my suggestion to that person would be to grow the **** up and stop thinking only about yourself, because suicide doesn't hurt you, it just hurts everybody that you care about.

Unless, as I pointed out, they think their life is hurting everybody they care about, and that the people they care about would be better off if they committed suicide.

And if you actually do kill yourself, then I really hope you rot in hell for all eternity merely for putting your loved ones through the misery.

...

It might have been a good idea to restrict this thread to people who know their ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to suicide.

[foster kid]

i attempted to kill myself once, the girl who i lost my virginity to and i took hers well she left me and it was not a good leave mostly cause i didn't know she had left me. she told me she was gonna go see her mom cause i keep fightin with her and yellin and messin up so she had to get away. well she left and i was cryin like for 4 hours. there was a playground and .......well i got hyped up on vault and code red moutain dew and (while crying) dicided that i should hang myself. so i got this lil white rope and went to the playground down the hill like 20 yards away and attempted to hang my self off the slide.

THE DAMN ROPE BROKE!!!!!! What kind of crap is that?
i was even more of a mess when i realized what happened..... i was all like man she is right i can't do anything right.. 2 days later she shows up to our house with her new man so i realized that it was stupid to do that.
now i am gonna marry this girl who is 99999% percent better than anyone i have been with so i came to the conclusion that there was a reason the rope broke....cause i am ment to do more and be more happy ......i dunno lol
well im glad it did break

[Halie]

I guess some of you obviously haven't met much people who've wanted to kill themselves, or gone through it. Otherwise you wouldn't be speaking like you've got your head too far up your ass to really acknowledge or understand it.

I've tried to kill myself, many times. I almost tried once when I was very little, around about eight or nine. Back then I was listening to Britney Spears and playing with my dolls like any regular little girl, but sometimes I'd get very unhappy and want to be somewhere else, go to another life. I thought that killing myself might lead to that, so I thought of electricuting myself with a hairdryer, but didn't go through with it.

A couple of years ago, I got involved with a girl named Charlotte, and if you've read my journals you'll know who she is. She convinced me that cutting myself was the cool thing to do, so I began to cut myself. She was quite happy to know that I had started to cut myself, and it makes me really sick when I think of that now. I never showed anyone my cuts, only her. Eventually she introduced the idea of suicide to me, never actually telling me to do it, but definately waving it in my face and threatening to do it herself, knowing fully well that she had completely brainwashed me and that I would want to do it, too.

Finally, I started to realise that it wasn't right and tried seeking help. I started growing apart from her, and now we're not the slightest of friends, thankfully. I can barely stand the sight of her.

I tried suicide after we broke friends because I was by myself for the majority of the time, until I made some new friends. I also tried killing myself back in May 2008, when my Nan died.

And now, I fear that for the rest of my life suicide will always be something on my mind, or at least won't escape my mind for long.

Why have I told you this? Because I know none of you in real life, and obviously some fo you need to learn about suicide.

[ChaosXxXWeapon]

I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't thought of commiting suicide. I think that's the first thought on everyone's mind when they hit rock bottom. Rather than climb back up, you'd rather just say eff it and end it all. I never went through with it because I convinced myself that, suicide was an easy way out, that it was for chickens. (I'm not saying anyone who has tried or has succeeded is a coward, I'm just merely stating what got me through it). I think I still had a lot of pride, even down at the bottom. It seems that everyone's reasons are the same, a family member dying, or friend that you were close to. You're lover leaving you. That's what it was for me at least. I'd lost my grandfather than two years later my best friend, then I got cheated on by my 'first love'. Like I said, I kept telling myself that suicide was an easy way out. And I refused to take that road. Maybe some people don't have that level of determination...

[Clint]

Most suicidal people, I'd imagine, consider their act selfless, not selfish. If they think they're no good for anybody else, they think they're doing everybody a favor by taking themselves out.

They're selfish for thinking that way. They're depressed, so of course they think that they're worthless, but instead of killing themselves, don't you think it would be easier just to go to a psychologist to help deal with the depression?

And what if they have no family? Teenagers in high school aren't the only ones that are suicidal.

Teenagers in high school aren't the only ones who have families.

Unless they love their family and consider their family better off without them.

Once again, this falls under the clinical category of depression. The family isn't better off having one of their members off his or her self. Everybody close to that person will wonder what he or she could have done to prevent the suicide, and then fingers will be pointed, fights will break out, and the family will fall to hell. That's one scenario, at least.

Not all suicidal people talk about it. Usually, the ones that do are trying to find another option.

Yes, hence exactly what I said in my original post.

It might have been a good idea to restrict this thread to people who know their ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to suicide.

No, it's probably better to restrict it from people who know nothing about the psychology of suicide, attempting to argue against the psychology of suicide.

[Fate]

Most suicidal people, I'd imagine, consider their act selfless, not selfish. If they think they're no good for anybody else, they think they're doing everybody a favor by taking themselves out.

No, actually, Dr. Egon Spengler is right. Although suicidal people are selfless, they are indeed selfish. Like he said before, killing yourself might end your own misery of being alive, but it'll only create misery for your family and friends. Today, Sasquatch, you might be happy, but imagine if your mother or father or a living family member or your's died! I doubt that you'll be happy, right? Of course not! If that person in your family committed suicide, that person is the one responsible for your grief. Even Faith said that she felt sad when her Nan died; I'm sure you'll be sad, too; everyone gets emotional if they get that. So in other words, your grief is not caused by you if the person you are grieving for committed suicide; it's all their fault for not thinking straight. You're right, they are selfless, but more selfish for causing misery for their loved ones just because they didn't want to continue living! That is wrong, and you know it as well as I do!

[Sasquatch]

They're selfish for thinking that way. They're depressed, so of course they think that they're worthless, but instead of killing themselves, don't you think it would be easier just to go to a psychologist to help deal with the depression?

It's easy to tell from this statement that you've never been clinically depressed.

Teenagers in high school aren't the only ones who have families.

The point was that not everybody who's suicidal has a family they'd be letting down.

Once again, this falls under the clinical category of depression. The family isn't better off having one of their members off his or her self.

Says who?

Everybody close to that person will wonder what he or she could have done to prevent the suicide, and then fingers will be pointed, fights will break out, and the family will fall to hell. That's one scenario, at least.

That's amazing, how you can predict the future like that. You wanna buy me a lotto ticket?

Every wrongful death -- from suicide to car accidents to murders -- can be prevented somehow, and of course some people will attempt to lay blame.

Most people, especially women, will say that they are thinking about killing themselves, but saying something and doing something are two different things. They only tell people that they're going to kill themselves because they want to get attention. ... I mean, if somebody really wanted to kill themself, they wouldn't talk about it, they would just do it.

Not all suicidal people talk about it. Usually, the ones that do are trying to find another option.

Yes, hence exactly what I said in my original post.

Where'd you say that?

No, it's probably better to restrict it from people who know nothing about the psychology of suicide, attempting to argue against the psychology of suicide.

Like I said, people who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to suicide. Are you going to try to argue that you've been through two 100-level psych classes, so you know more than other people again? Other people who have been clinically depressed, suicidal, involved with suicidal people, known those who have committed suicide, or even attempted suicide?

[Clint]

It's easy to tell from this statement that you've never been clinically depressed.

So you're saying that people who are clinically depressed shouldn't seek help, but rather, blow their brains onto the wall... Huh... I don't really agree with your argument. It sounds a bit too... stupid to actually have been thought out.

The point was that not everybody who's suicidal has a family they'd be letting down.

Where do they live, Antarctica? There's always somebody who cares. If there's no family, then there's always friends and associates.

Says who?

Every single behavioral and cognitive psychologist.

That's amazing, how you can predict the future like that. You wanna buy me a lotto ticket?

Every wrongful death -- from suicide to car accidents to murders -- can be prevented somehow, and of course some people will attempt to lay blame.

You really know nothing about suicide. If you really believe that a suicide in the family does literally nothing, then by all means, blow your own brains out, come back as a ghost, and watch your family fall apart. Or you could take the less retarded route, and study psychology.

Where'd you say that?

In my first post. It's not my fault that you don't quote the right material.

Are you going to try to argue that you've been through two 100-level psych classes, so you know more than other people again?

Well that would be a good argument to use as to how I know more about the psychology of suicide than people who haven't studied any psychology.

[Unknown Entity]

*watches the above*

Both Sasquatch and Dr. Egon Spengler have made some very good points. Although I've love to follow in suit and quote the crap out of your posts, frankly I can't be bothered. But what I will say is:

I don't know niether of you well enough to say what you have been through, but you can never really understand suicide unless either you have been in the situation yourselves, or you have known someone who has commited suicide. I had a very close friend of mine, who was very ill. At the time, he didn't exactly tell me what was wrong with him - I found out after he died. His mum suffered from depression for various reasons: all of her children - 2 of them and her unborn child - had different dads, who weren't of no help, she was young for a mother with a 16 year old (my friend), and an ex druggie. Honestly, I don't know how social services weren't on her arse, but anyway, the whole mess they called a family was screwed up.

Because his mum was depressed, he also felt depressed. He knew his mum had very little money, and he was ill and going to die anyway at some point, so he decided it would be for the best. About a month after he and his family moved to Wales, he hung himself with a bathrobe tie.

I didn't find out until October (he moved to Wales just before the Summer Holiday in July), and I was mentally messed up for a while, and when I was just recovering from that blow, my head of year died at school.

So yeah, suicide is selfish, because it does put family and friends through so much pain. BUT it is not without reason to the person who feels it would be best for them and their family and friends. When someone is depressed, they really do change as a person, so their thoughts on suicide could change very suddenly - on a "good" day it could be seen as just some far off posibilty, and a "bad" day could see it as just a few seconds away.

And because we may or may not have had different experiences of suicide, it is wrong to argue over this. Debate, yes, but argue? No.