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Thread: Evil, Inc.

  1. #1
    Mr. Person Taco-Calamitous's Avatar
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    Evil, Inc.

    A black metal gate swings open by a gust of wind, unchecked by any obstacle, save the ancient stone wall it serves as a portal way through, of sorts...

    The night sky is further darkened by ominous rainclouds menacing overhead. A light drizzle turns into a torrential downpour, as lightning and thunder fill the air. Where might one find sanctuary from this frightening weather? One need only look up the path ahead, to the dark structure that stands as a sinister beacon...


    Welcome, one and all! Welcome to the world of Evil, Inc.! We are a group that is not limited to the sadistic and Satanic; we are a group that takes pride in any Villainous deed. We celebrate all the most evil, sick, dastardly deeds the world has ever known. Especially stealing lollypops from a babe, or kicking your dog! (No, don't go out and actually kick your dog, kids... that was a joke. But totally steal a little kid's lollypop. That'd be awesome.)

    What do we want? Supreme domination of the universe! ...or simply the discussion of how one might come to do that. Or perhaps how one might come to achieve less lofty goals, like: overthrowing the government of a first world country; striking it rich in the most innoble ways possible; leading simple fools/your worst enemy/both to an untimely demise... etc, etc. You get the picture. Furthermore, This club is the ideal place to discuss that villain who was your personal hero. Or that villain who was a moron. Or anywhere in between.

    As an intellectual and comical group, we will take pride in our posts, and hold true to the forum rules and regulations that has been preset. We must stress that Evil, Inc. is not a faction and anyone caught trying to use it as one will be removed from the club instantly, without remorse (we kid you not. Check the club registration thread, people; we are on a short leash, here.)

    As for acceptance into the club there is only a few requirements:

    Must be willing to look on the... dark side of life (...mweh heh heh...)
    Minimum of 100 post count
    YOU MUST SIGN YOUR SOUL OVER TO US!! (...nah, but a sense of humor wouldn't hurt)
    Must be an Active member of TFF forums
    MUST COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION (Written by Evil, Inc.'s very own Valkyarc!)
    Evil, Inc. Application

    Introduction:The Evil, Inc. application is the only way to apply for membership and to be accepted, you must pass a series of essay-like questions and then will be given a task after we have reviewed your answers. If you complete your task, you shall be given an internship where you shall continue to prove yourself to higher ranks. So before we continue, I shall give you an example of a typical question that will be found in this test.

    Example-A: You have been ordered to assassinate a world leader, no questions asked. In the process of gathering information of the target and the target’s associates, you discover two things: the first being that the target has hired an assassin to take out the assassin who’s going to take him out (you), and two, the target’s hired assassin is someone from your past you loved very much, but had remembered this special someone had died. Putting aside clichés such as ‘I’mz cold hearted, lol’ or ‘I would go back to this special someone’, how would you now go about killing your target with or without killing the other assassin and why?

    So as you can see, each question written in this test will require you to answer using your experience of evil. It shall evaluate who you are and how you stand in the evil community.

    +++++

    Question 1: Personality: In this scenario, you are a successful villain. You have plenty of henchmen, a country that loves you, money, and enough power that the rest of the world ignores you in fear of retaliation. How did you obtain this position and why?

    Question 2: Creativity and Efficiency: You’re short on cash, so you do the next most obvious thing; rob a bank. The bank itself is one of the largest chains and has stored 10 million in normal cash, 30 in marked ‘smart’ bills, and 15 mil in electronic credit stored in large hard-drives with the deadliest firewall. The bank itself sits next to the most public tourist attraction in the city and inside has 50 guards, 30 of them paid and 20 experienced security officers with military background. The vault itself has 20 cameras and security systems you’d see in Mission Impossible. You yourself only have five henchmen and the basic tools needed to rob any bank. Tell us how you could rob this bank in the most quick and creative way you can within a believable scenario.

    Question 3: Ethics: You’ve done it. You have finally snapped and are looking for some sense in closure by getting on top of a tall building and taking out people below with a sniper rifle. (Think New York city as you are looking down onto a typical shopping corner.)

    As you sit there searching for the ‘right’ person, 5 people catch your eye. There’s an old lady with her huge oxygen tank while sitting on a bench in front of a diner and she’s whacking some youth on the head with her purse. Across the street is some Jewish rich boy in a designer’s hoodie listening to his iPod and is about to enter a liquor store. Behind the old lady is a white trash mom talking to some guy about weed while she ignores her twin baby girls sitting in a baby cart. In the traffic near the farthest light, you can see a balding fat black man smoking a cigarette as he curses at the skinny trucker carrying dangerous chemicals. Lastly, next to the liquor store is a the beauty salon where a gay man stands on his smoke break

    With only 3 bullets to spare, who do you kill, in what order, and why?

    Question 4: Abilities: If you had to choose a set of abilities (only two) you would use to take over the world, what would they be, how did you obtain them, how do you use them, and why?

    Question 5: Armageddon: It’s the end of the world and all that most villains would love to gain is being destroyed by other villains who only want death. As a villain yourself that ironically treasures life as to death: what would be your final accomplishments, how would you die, and in a sort of Deus Ex Machina scenario, would you become a hero or commit a minor heroic act in order to save the world? And why?
    The very instant that you lay your eyes upon our application, you have but a week to answer these questions and send your answers-via PM-to Meier Link, Valkyarc, or myself. There will be much rubbing of chins and clearing of throats, and then a decision will be made as to whether or not you are truly worthy to join our ranks. If you are not... you will be OBLITERATED!! (IE turned away.) So... what are you waitng for?! GET TO IT!!

    If you are not a member or an applying member, you should not post here. Exceptions to this rule will be made, mainly for leaders of other clubs or their appointed representatives.

    Goals / Purpose:
    To provide a new outlet for the discussion and role play of villainy, but once again, not as a faction (reread that which has been written in blood... I mean red, but above) To give members of TFF that are interested in things such as Dark Humor, Villainy, and all that it entails a place to call "home" amongst these forums known as TFF.

    Current Members:

    Hellfire - Co Leader
    Meier Link - Co Leader
    Valkyarc - Co Leader

    Chez Daja
    Sinister

    Those who have been... released:

    lottiepop
    Halie
    Unknown Entity
    Spiral Architect

    We are aquifer with anticipation... JOIN USsssssss-!!!

  2. #2
    The pizza guy! Meier Link's Avatar
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    So we are finally up and running eh?

    Now that we have a place to call home lets try and not get it taken away from us! We have been given a chance to let our deeds run their course with out breaking that specific line. Seeing we are on strict guidelines I will only say this once. If you are caught breaking the rules, I will break your neck! Ok not really but you will receive warning and you will be informed to change your post, if you do not comply with these guidelines you will face the consiquences which could lead to your exodus from the club. And being the dastardly bastards that we are we will have no remorse in doing so.

    If you are having trouble comprehending what I am saying just go back up to Hellfires OP and read what is in red. Notice that when coming up with the rules that we use the term intelectual, now that is a hard for some (well alot of) people to grasp, we are not looking for the most sadistic twisted morbid minds out there, that shows a great sign of imaturaty. So in short:
    1: No talks of goat raping - that is just sick not evil or humorous
    2: Forum rules apply here - seriously break them and you will be ousted
    3: Use of club banner is limited to club members only
    4: No goodie two shows shall post here talking about how we are going to hell for having our club, exceptions will be made for the memebers of Evil, Inc. telling all of us that we are going to hell for having this club.
    5: Reserved for future use.

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    Last edited by Meier Link; 03-19-2009 at 02:11 PM.
    Soldier: "We suck but we're better then you"

    We will fight, we will be strong
    Together we're marching on
    United, we move as one
    Our finest hour has just begun
    Philmore - Our Finest Hour

    Crao Porr Cock8! Need I say more!?
    My awards:



  3. #3
    Oh I would like to apply to join.

    I have over 100 posts and am good at being evil in clever ways (Usually using my awsome black humour skillz, which is not, as many americans believe, humour preformed by someone who is black..duh.)

    For example, and forgive me if this is too far. I happened to walk past a three year old girl the other day, and whispered "mmmm Jailbait" to the guy I was with. Good times.

    Or constantly reading De Sade and laughing at the perversions.

    Or the time I bought a calander from WHSmiths of Jade Goody and it only went up to march.

    So am I accepted?

  4. #4
    Genocide Unfolds, I Forgive All Chez Daja's Avatar
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    I want to join too!
    I'm so ****ing evil, once I threw some bread onto a ducks' back and watched it struggle to reach it. Mwahahaha.
    I also told my brother that the skin disease on my toes and fingers was contagious and that he was going to be in extreme pain. He cried. It took him all day to figure out that I was shitting him.

    The person in my avatar is me.



    THIS SIGNATURE IS VERY DISTRACTINGS

    I was the holder of the highest amount of rep that ever lived on TFF. 1788. lolz. I ween.


  5. #5
    Registered User Evil, Inc. Halie's Avatar
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    I want in, too.

    I used to poke my hamster with a fork. I also trip my 18 month old brother up when he runs past me and then laugh. I also laughed when my mum put a towel over his head and he accidentally ran into the TV cabinet. I'm sure I could think of more...=/

  6. #6
    Mr. Person Taco-Calamitous's Avatar
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    Bwah hah hah, wow, those are all good stories! Yer all in! (Unless Meier Link objects, which I don't think he will.) I particularly enjoyed the stories of torturing young children and/or animals. Those will always earn you extra brownie points with us. Future applicants: take notes!

    Here's our first topic: your favorite villain. Who is he or she? What did he or she do? Was it awesome and evil?! ....I will think on this one a bit, and get back to y'all later. Anyhoo...

    Wuv, Yer Mom

  7. #7
    Genocide Unfolds, I Forgive All Chez Daja's Avatar
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    I hate to burst your bubble, but I actually do love animals and proceeded to feed the duck after I began to feel guilty. That said, I'm usually a total bitch about other things.

    Favourite villian? Bagpuss. He was a fluffy pink bastard and I'm pretty sure he was the kind of cat to sleep on babies' faces. Now if that's not evil, I don't know what is.

    The person in my avatar is me.



    THIS SIGNATURE IS VERY DISTRACTINGS

    I was the holder of the highest amount of rep that ever lived on TFF. 1788. lolz. I ween.


  8. #8
    Only plays for sport Unknown Entity's Avatar
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    =O

    My kinda club. ^^

    I'm evil. How do I know? I googled the evil test on google (duh) and did loads of them! I'm pure evil in most, and evil in the others!

    The last evil thing I did was chuck my friends bag in a lift, and shut the door. We had to wait for the lift to come back to get the bag.

    Once, I ate a cake and the red jelly came out of it on my jacket. My little cousin saw it, and screamed. I looked down, and saw it. I fell on the ground and pretended to die, and he started screaming and crying and... god... you should have seen the look on his face when I burt into laughter!

    For a laugh, when I shower my dog, at the end I always turn the water on cold and watch him try and escape the bath. He slips all over the place! Haha... but then the angel on my shoulder tells me to warm him up again.

    I video recorded my mum when she snored and dared my friend to put it up on YouTube for a week last year. It got over 1000 hits on that week. The comments were quite funny too. I felt guilty and quickly ask for it to be taken off. :S

    When my brother was sleeping on a blow up bed, I opened the hatch when he was sleeping. The air came out, and he hit the floor!

    Years ago, me and my brother were staying around a friends house. He was still asleep, and I let one of my friends dogs in the room. The dog went mental, and jumped on him! Jamie had to hide under the camp bed to cover himself! Gawd... you should have seen it...

    More, but thats it for now! Did I pass? 0_0


    "I used to be active here like you, then I took an arrow in the knee."
    >>>------------->

    Suddenly... clutter.:

    Me and the lovely Joey is two cheeky chimpmonks, we is. Because TFF cousins can still... do stuff. ; )



    Quotes to have a giggle at.:

    Quote Originally Posted by Bleachfangirl
    I'm none too scary really. Just somewhat violent...
    Quote Originally Posted by MSN Convo
    Gemma the friggin' Entity. says:
    ^^;
    brb
    Bleachie says:
    Kay
    ...*runs around with a stick*
    I AM SPARTACUS!!!
    Hm, no one's here...
    TIME TO PARTY!
    Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    Gemma the friggin' Entity. says:
    back
    Bleachie says:
    DARN IT
    Quote Originally Posted by Joe
    Now that we've apparently discussed wanting to see each other sleep with a game character... how goes?

    All my banners are now done by me! Soon, I will be great! Muwahahahaha... ha... eck! *coughs* ...ha!
    Biggest fan of Peanut Butter created by The Xeim and Halie Peanut Butter Corporation ^^



    Warning free for over eight years. Feels good.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Hellfire View Post
    Here's our first topic: your favorite villain. Who is he or she? What did he or she do? Was it awesome and evil?! .
    My all time favourite villian is Patrick Bateman, he's so cool and funny and kills people...

    And there was the time he killed that kid.

    And he's so damn clever.

    Of course, Christian Bale did a damn fine job as playing him. I also find him strangely attractive in a weird way, but then that's the best kind of attractive you know?

  10. #10
    Mr. Person Taco-Calamitous's Avatar
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    Unknown Entity, you are so in. Here's the thing though, people; after you talk about the evil acts you committed, don't admit to listening to your conscience and doing something to take the act back. That just ruins it! Chez Daja and I had a discussion about this earlier. Some drastic measures were taken, and the young woman suffered greatly before learning her lesson.

    Anyhoo, I was thinking about my own question earlier today... and I can't pick one. I think I will just have to go with the "playful/insane" type of villain as my answer. Like the Joker, or Kefka. I love the villains that are batshit crazy, especially when they spout off a load of absurd puns or bizarre nonsense. They are the most interesting kind of villain, to me; entertaining to watch. They're like clowns... of DOOM. I want to be Kefka when I grow up. Anyhoo...

    Wuv, Yer Mom

  11. #11
    The pizza guy! Meier Link's Avatar
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    Wait, I am not cool with any of the applicants, DENIED! Ok seriously though welcome to Chez, Lottie, UE, and Halie. Those where some nice stories (did I just say nice?)

    As for why I am here (application even though it is not required for me), I am a twisted individual. I spent a few years on the net as a mod over a gore site, I origanaly joined out of curiousity and because the owner of the sites GF was pushing me to join. I will admit that I have a strange intruige when it comes to death, not that I actually enjoy it in any form or fashion.

    I also love psycological thrillers, horror, world domination plots, and them bastards that we have all grown to love (villains). I enjoy trying to look into the mind of the typical villains and the more supirior villains and figure out how their plans came to be and as to why their plans sucseeded or failed miserably.


    As for the first question; I would have to say Barney, yes the huge purple dino, twisting little kids minds to conform to a state of love and peace. Making parents spend hundreds of dollars on his parafanailia. Plus he had to pick the one color in the spectrum that I can not see dang it!

    Close (or not so close) runners up would have to be:
    1: Dr Weir from Event Horizon played by one Mr. Sam Neill. He is one of the few unique Villains that was actually a good guy when the movie starts and as his past life is twisted by the hellish pictures and imagry that he sees while he is on the Event Horizon he is morphed into a Villain that has no real goal except death to all and capturing souls for the damnation of hell.

    Jigsaw - Saw series - Not only does he do what he does but there is a purpose of inspireing the people to live their life to the fullest, but they cant acheive their goal and put their past behind them its death time. Even in death his grusome plans are still being taken care of.

    Lestat - Interview with a Vampire - Ok so Luis made him out to be more then he was or did he? Yes in this depiction of evil Lestat was the man when it comes to Vampires, ruthless, cold, and incorruptable. Not to shabby for being a walking blood sucking stiff eh!?

    Jacob - Jacobs Ladder - Ok so is he the villain or not, seeing everything that happened to him through out the movie was depictions of his own mind. But to torture ones self like that? Very odd one he is. I don't want to spoil this one so I will leave it at that
    Soldier: "We suck but we're better then you"

    We will fight, we will be strong
    Together we're marching on
    United, we move as one
    Our finest hour has just begun
    Philmore - Our Finest Hour

    Crao Porr Cock8! Need I say more!?
    My awards:



  12. #12
    The Quiet One Evil, Inc. Andromeda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hellfire View Post
    We must stress that Evil, Inc. is not a faction and anyone caught trying to use it as one will be removed from the club instantly, without remorse (we kid you not. Check the club registration thread, people; we are on a short leash, here.)
    I want to clarify this statement. It is not the faction part that is actually the biggest concern. Though I certainly have already clearly said because there are no more Good or Evil faction things. The matter is that this club is in no way TFF Dark Side and if I feel that it is leaning towards that side of the fence and not the more light hearted comedic said that Telegraph said he wants to take. Then the club will be closed.

    Also when the one month comes up. I will be closing the club down for my review period. Because well if I decide that the club did not pass it will be remain closed. Otherwise I will open it.

    And I'd like to re-iterate the point of this club is to be more comedic, so says the application that Telegraph handed to us. I will be reviewing very strictly and critically to the letter of the application.

    And by Telegraph posting the club he has automatically agreed to the terms that I set for him even if he did not make a post that he agreed to them. So he and all of the members are bound by them and the clubs future will be judged by them. So remember unlike any other club that exists I hold the right to close this club down on a moment's notice if I feel the club has broken away from its original intention (well technically I hold that as mod of the forum, however I don't general handle matters in such a quick manner without warning first, there will be no warnings here as the agreement is the warning). I say this now because I doubt the members are going to be reading the terms of the agreement.

    So remember your actions will have a significant affect on the future of this club. March 25 is the one month review date.
    Curious? There's no limits but your own imagination.
    Don't know how to roleplay, but want to learn? Visit Here!


    2007 and 2009 Best Writer of TFF and 2009 Most Creative Co-Winner



  13. #13
    Mr. Person Taco-Calamitous's Avatar
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    Dually noted. In any case, I've thought of a new topic of discussion: gifts of "affection" to send to your friends! (and enemies...)

    -A box of chocolates! Some are filled with caramel, peanut butter, coconut, or fruit flavoring! Others have death-dealing contents like anthrax and cyanide... Choose carefully when eating!

    -A bouquet of red and black roses! Some have the most beautiful scent of any rose on this earth! Others smell like the most foul of farts, held underneath a blanket all night and then released to the world once you lift the blanket up. The air would become so foul and rank... it might possibly even lead to death.

    -A statue in their likeness! Except... upon further inspection, it's no statue at all, but a robot duplicate ready to do your bidding, be it slay your "friend" in his or her sleep and take his or her place, or be it to serve as a kind off household servant. You decide!

    Those're my ideas. Post some of your own! Anyhoo...

    Wuv, Yer Mom

  14. #14
    Sir Prize Evil, Inc. Sinister's Avatar
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    By virtue(or lack thereof) of my UserName, and my fragile reputation as a Machiavellian Manipulative Bastard that toys with people... I demand membership...

    I think most of you know my credentials.

    A "Grade A" evil genius with a fine-tuned sense of irony and melodrama. A lack of respect for all of humanity. Gifted with a sword and a pen.

    So yes, I accept the membership I demanded from you with a total lack of humility.

    So speaks,
    -Sin


    Fear not, this is not...the end of this world.

    "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good..."

  15. #15
    The pizza guy! Meier Link's Avatar
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    So demanding that you decided to double post it eh Sin? Anyways demands are not needed from you, ask and you shall receive. Welcome to Evil, Inc.
    Soldier: "We suck but we're better then you"

    We will fight, we will be strong
    Together we're marching on
    United, we move as one
    Our finest hour has just begun
    Philmore - Our Finest Hour

    Crao Porr Cock8! Need I say more!?
    My awards:



  16. #16
    Sir Prize Evil, Inc. Sinister's Avatar
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    You didn't really expect me to ask for it "pretty please with sugar on top", did you?

    But all the same, thank you for your welcome. I already feel like I fit in here.

    -Sin


    Fear not, this is not...the end of this world.

    "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good..."

  17. #17
    Only plays for sport Unknown Entity's Avatar
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    Here's our first topic: your favorite villain. Who is he or she? What did he or she do? Was it awesome and evil?!.
    The Joker, when he was played by Heath Ledger. It was just the crazy, and psyco side of the guy... he creeped me out, and... pwar... I couldn't help but laugh at the bit when he stabbed the pencil into the table and made it disappear... by shoving someones head through it! OMG...

    I also liked the villan Natala from Tomb Raider. Boney biatch. With wings. Oh, and that weird guy from Angel of Darkness.

    SEPHIROTH! OMG! Awesome villan!

    Damn I gave 4 villans... Hehe, does that make me more evil?


    "I used to be active here like you, then I took an arrow in the knee."
    >>>------------->

    Suddenly... clutter.:

    Me and the lovely Joey is two cheeky chimpmonks, we is. Because TFF cousins can still... do stuff. ; )



    Quotes to have a giggle at.:

    Quote Originally Posted by Bleachfangirl
    I'm none too scary really. Just somewhat violent...
    Quote Originally Posted by MSN Convo
    Gemma the friggin' Entity. says:
    ^^;
    brb
    Bleachie says:
    Kay
    ...*runs around with a stick*
    I AM SPARTACUS!!!
    Hm, no one's here...
    TIME TO PARTY!
    Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    Gemma the friggin' Entity. says:
    back
    Bleachie says:
    DARN IT
    Quote Originally Posted by Joe
    Now that we've apparently discussed wanting to see each other sleep with a game character... how goes?

    All my banners are now done by me! Soon, I will be great! Muwahahahaha... ha... eck! *coughs* ...ha!
    Biggest fan of Peanut Butter created by The Xeim and Halie Peanut Butter Corporation ^^



    Warning free for over eight years. Feels good.

  18. #18
    Sir Prize Evil, Inc. Sinister's Avatar
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    The best villain must be...the villain that gets away with it. That's generic so let me expound my idea.

    Villainy can be nearly anything ill-intended. Albeit, we classically label the chiefest character in a story with ill-intent "the villain". The word, villain, I think you'll find is an older word meaning something akin to "Peasant". I digress. Who is the greatest villain? Not merely the villain that gets away with it, but the villain who is adored. The villain that gets labeled evil is always and always will be, the loser. That is because the victor writes history. History is always written by the winner.

    Who is the greatest villain? Why...the hero.

    -Sin


    Fear not, this is not...the end of this world.

    "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good..."

  19. #19
    Registered User Evil, Inc. Halie's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'd say the Joker, too. Or that fat Penguin guy. Both from batman.

    And Lex Luther, who is pretty much a villian. I like bald people.

    As for gifts of affection? Well, for my friend's birthday I'm planning on giving him an egg. I'm either gonna wrap it up nicely so that it looks like something else, or just hide it behind my back and fill up the suspense so he thinks it something else. He may be disapponted.

  20. #20
    Oh I think you're wrong.

    You see a villian doesn't have to be a hero to be adored, nor does he have to the victor.

    Let's take Jack the Ripper for instance. He's a classic villian, generic as they come. He killed prostitues for god's sake. And he is, would you believe, adored by many. Whole sites are set up about him as well as forums.

    Plus the stuningly obvious...he was never caught.

    Yet we learn about him all the time, I remember doing a whole section of history dedicated to him.

    So you see, villians can be inherantly evil and still be the "winner".

    Anyway back to Hellfire's point. It's all about the set up here.

    -Buy your beloved a drink laced with rohypnol (and NO it's not what you're thinking), take/drag them to flat/house/murder mansion and sit them down for a nice meal, they'll probably be asleep by now but that's ok. Profess your undying love to them. Talk cordially about how your day has been. Now find a pretty normal kitchen appliance, I find a cheese grater works best, though a skewer or possibly a potato peeler are both other options. Grate/Skewer/Peel your partner to death. It takes AGES and is really funny to watch.

  21. #21
    Sir Prize Evil, Inc. Sinister's Avatar
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    You say he was adored...won in the end AND was the center of focus... And you still think he is a villain? Sounds almost like a hero to me... But I don't play by the slavish set of moral definitions that most people assign to those terms.

    -Sin
    Last edited by Sinister; 03-01-2009 at 12:28 AM.


    Fear not, this is not...the end of this world.

    "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good..."

  22. #22
    Oh don't give me that I don't follow everyone else BS,I've heard it everywhere it gets old and quite frankly boring.

    Yes, yes he was a villian. A la Bella Lugosi, twirly moustache and everything!

    But let's not argue, that's stupid and pointless, and I don't know you well enough to be on arguing terms.

  23. #23
    Mr. Person Taco-Calamitous's Avatar
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    Welcome, Sinister. I'm glad you chose to join us. Thank you as well for that thoughtful response. Indeed, "the past is told by those who win" (to quote one of my favorite bands, whom I shall refrain from naming to protect their innocence.) Although lottiepop brings up a good point; those who are known as "villains" don't always lose.

    Who is the hero and who is the villain is subjective, after all; some see the United State's last president-George W. Bush-as a kind of villain. Some see him as an evil mastermind, yet simultaneously and paradoxically, a total moron. He managed to win our presidential election twice-even with a large number of people absolutely hating him-and managed to survive calls for his impeachment, and shoes thrown at his head. Yet at the same time, there were many that considered him their champion. And the people he ran against kinda stank. Now, let's get down to gifts for loved ones...

    Halie: Oh jam! Building anticipation and excitement for what your friend might recieve, only to destroy their hopes upon finding the gift! That is evil!

    lottiepop: That is crude, yet at once intriguing. The clean up afterwards must be a bother, however.

    And that... is all... Without another word, the man known as Hellfire takes his leave, disappearing into the shadows in but an instant. Shortly after, a loud crash is heard, followed by singular, loud curse word. And then silence.

    Wuv, Yer Mom

  24. #24
    The pizza guy! Meier Link's Avatar
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    I always thought the gift the killer gave at the end of seven was a crazy way to get at someone. I mean seriously how can you beat it???

    Now if I was to get at someone by gifting them it would be something that could not be traceable back to me, like an acid bomb that not only would mutilate the person but will also eat up the box that it came in.

    As for a gift of affection, how about secretly video taping them while fornicating and then send it to their mother labeling it with something cheezy like "the (insert name here)'s first christmas!? That would just be cruel. And the gift in return to that partner would be the mothers love / scoulding.
    Soldier: "We suck but we're better then you"

    We will fight, we will be strong
    Together we're marching on
    United, we move as one
    Our finest hour has just begun
    Philmore - Our Finest Hour

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  25. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Meier Link View Post
    As for a gift of affection, how about secretly video taping them while fornicating and then send it to their mother labeling it with something cheezy like "the (insert name here)'s first christmas!? That would just be cruel. And the gift in return to that partner would be the mothers love / scoulding.
    Oh an extension of this could be why not send THEM a video tape of you and their mother/father fornicating...and label it "sexytime video" or something...

    Then you could run off with their mother/father and leave them to rot.

  26. #26
    Only plays for sport Unknown Entity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lottiepop
    Buy your beloved a drink laced with rohypnol (and NO it's not what you're thinking), take/drag them to flat/house/murder mansion and sit them down for a nice meal, they'll probably be asleep by now but that's ok. Profess your undying love to them. Talk cordially about how your day has been. Now find a pretty normal kitchen appliance, I find a cheese grater works best, though a skewer or possibly a potato peeler are both other options. Grate/Skewer/Peel your partner to death. It takes AGES and is really funny to watch.
    OMG, I've thought of doing that too! But I developed mine into a very large wall of sand paper... that moves up and down very fast. Then, while the victim is alive and crapping their pants, I move them closer and closer to the wall on a customised table on its side... and...

    ZZZZZRRRRRRRRRR!*screams*ZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRwILLLLRRRRR*more screams*GAWDNORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

    Iz teh evilness. *does evil dance and giggles to self*


    "I used to be active here like you, then I took an arrow in the knee."
    >>>------------->

    Suddenly... clutter.:

    Me and the lovely Joey is two cheeky chimpmonks, we is. Because TFF cousins can still... do stuff. ; )



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    Quote Originally Posted by MSN Convo
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    brb
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    back
    Bleachie says:
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe
    Now that we've apparently discussed wanting to see each other sleep with a game character... how goes?

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  27. #27
    The pizza guy! Meier Link's Avatar
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    Only if the mood is right, and you have to make it into some type of tirade / specticle. If you meet those requirements then you can dance and giggle all you want.
    Soldier: "We suck but we're better then you"

    We will fight, we will be strong
    Together we're marching on
    United, we move as one
    Our finest hour has just begun
    Philmore - Our Finest Hour

    Crao Porr Cock8! Need I say more!?
    My awards:



  28. #28
    Mr. Person Taco-Calamitous's Avatar
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    I believe that it is high time that we started a little something... the honoring of excellent villains. Villains who set the standards or broke ground for other villains of today. Villains who deserve a bit of recognition for their... "services" to the world. I will begin by saluting....

    The Scorpio Killer, from Dirty Harry. As Dirty Harry, Clint Eastwood became the archetypal action hero. He could not have done that, however, without the help of a psychotic snyper with a taste for blood, played by Andy Robinson. The Killer was a step ahead of Harry Callahan through most of the movie.
    Spoiler:
    And even when Harry managed to catch up with the Killer and persuade him to give up the whereabouts of his latest victim, the Killer still managed to get off scot free by taking advantage of a technicality in the system.

    Everything about this guy, from the "choir boy" face, to the insane, high-pitched voice, the handling of his gun, was wonderfully insane and creepy. His biggest mistake; he was feeling lucky. He should not have felt lucky.

    Scorpio Killer (and Andy Robinson) on behalf of Evil, Inc., I salute you. Anyhoo...

    Wuv, Yer Mom

  29. #29
    Stage Dives, High Fives. Evil, Inc. Confession's Avatar
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    +100 posts. Check.

    Okay, I want in, if I don't get in, I shall get my vegenge.

    Many people can vouche for my evilness, Today I carved faces into aplles and put them in the mocrowave to watch them from being happy to shrivling into a pile of goo.

    If anyone has me on msn - Read my username, speaks for itself

    And the greatest villian of all time would have to be Bania off Seinfield. He is constantly asking Jerry for lunch, and using Jerry's hilarious act to make him seem funnier. WHEN IN FACT HE IS AS FUNNY AS CANCER.

    He is a true villian. None of this fandangle mystical magical evil mumbo jumbo.

    If I couldn't choose him, Uka-Uka off Crash Bandicoot, or GORO off Mortal Kombat

    Wu Tang Killa Bee's, We On The Storm.

  30. #30
    Sir Prize Evil, Inc. Sinister's Avatar
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    Thanks for the official welcome, Hellfire.


    And although, I wonder about my being here. Can someone believe in a villain and be a villain as well, or is that posing? I believe that I'm out for myself in the worst way, I suppose it's all the same, in the end.


    But if I were to rid the world of someone... I'd opt for a simple vivisection sans anesthetic.(lots of scalpels and probes) I suppose it would be hard to make it precise and surgical with the struggling. I mean, you can only strap someone down so much. Also, I'd like to test something...

    If someone is screaming continuously and you pull their head off with, let's say a machine, does the screaming get higher pitch the further their head is pulled from their head? You'd have to do it slowly, I suppose.


    G'day, gents.

    -Sin


    Fear not, this is not...the end of this world.

    "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good..."

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