Evil, Inc.

[Taco-Calamitous]

I have been informed by Meier Link of yor evil exploits abroad, Mr. Architect. You are in... for now.

Let me deliver a warning, members of Evil, Inc.: a time is coming soon when you may be subjected to testing. Testing that you may not survive... prepare yourselves. ...anyhoo...

Sinister: Any time, buddy. And lovely, evil, torturous way of offing someone, too!

Gotta run. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Meier Link]

I actually found this to be quite interesting and humorous at the same time,

List of serial killers by country - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Look at it closely and pay attention to where the majority of the killers are from. Now I am speculating this was wrote by an American hence why the list is so long but all in all the baised swing of things is amuzing. But as a notable mention check out Hiroshi Maeue from Japan. I found this one to be interesting.

[Confession]

Although America would have a large number of murders with such a long and umm eratic history.

But I really think that Asia would have the most murderes, if you think of the olden day traditions of the Japanese and Chinese there would be alot not mentioned.

From that link I afound this also. List of murderers by number of victims - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I found it quite intriguing that out of the top 5 Serial Killers, only 2 of them were from the 20th century. is technology making it harder for one to go on a good killing spree? Are morals of the modern society changing the way people think? Or has the urge to kill simply been replaced by shooting up rotting corpses on the tv?

[Zardoch]

Within the deepest tower, inside the final prison cell of the oldest dungeon lies a foul smelling, degrading corpse of a being long forgotten being that no longer is plagued by constant torture or morality. After being morphed into a thoughtless undead wraith, this being was never allowed to skip even the faintest of heart beats as ancient tools wroth pain that never ended until this being, this man forgot how to scream. The torturers left him to rot after they had salvaged what satisfaction they could from this miserable undying carcass, placing two guards to keep watch at all times lest the poor bastard find enough life that could seize from his weak grip.

Now, two years later a guard still stands at this large dungeon door, a round stone carved twelve feet in height and wide enough to sit two elephants side by side. His armor creaks and clanks as he shivers from the need...to pee. He almost burst within his leather jerkins when he hears steps from above echo across the dark round walls and a small light of fire licks at the face of another guard coming down from the surface, both alerting and giving him hope.

"Oi! Run on down here so I can leave my post to take a piss!" The guard yells out to the other guard.
"Why can't you piss into the black abyss or on the wall?" The new guard ask as he stops on the last step before the dungeon door.
"Are you thick, boy? Anybody who takes a piss into that will have a curse placed upon them, you bloody green bastard. Shit, and don't even get me started about pissing on the wall. A guard I once knew tried that and got his **** bitten off by a snake."
"What kind of curse?"
"The one where you get thrown into the black abyss by Lord Toromor himself. There's something down there that doesn't like being pissed on."

As the two continued to converse with one another, something was beginning to happen within the dungeon chamber that has not happened for a very long time.

With two beady red eyes, a raven emerges from the darkness and hops on over to the undead body. The scent aroused the zombies' bloodlust and as the raven came closer, it fluttered back as a claw slowly reached out to dig its nails into such soft feathers. The bird gave the hand a peck and cawed before leaping onto the back of the creature and let out another squawk with open wings. Then it spoke:

'Griffith, slain warrior of the brotherhood, I beseech you now to regain control of your mind and rise, rise now above your eternal death!'

And with magic unused since the Old Age of the world, the raven raised a soul from the underworld and sent it into the decrepit man at that very moment. The heart began to pound furiously. The lungs took in its first deep breath since the two years they had been abused. The muscles and flesh came to life as they twitched and stretched over the blood-dry scars, slithering together almost like a ripped patch of clothing coming together seem by seem. Even the eyes that had long been lost grew back into place and all that was once his hair reached out to the very tip of his back.

Silence followed the demonstration of incredible power as ice-blue eyes pierced the pitch black darkness before it. You could hear the scraping of nails as the man lifted himself onto his knees and leaned back to breathe in a second time. What was once forever cursed to live without a mind or a soul regained all of it within a second.

'Good, good. The soul does not reject its host.' The raven said giving a gleeful giggle. 'It is time to return to the world above and be reborn within the forgotten light you no longer remember. There is a price for this power, however.
"Anything...name anything and it shall be done." The man replies.
'When you leave this place, there shall be a grand castle not far from here. This is where the current lords of the brotherhood reside. You will destroy it all, lord and brick.'
"With what power? I have been gone too long to have any power left." Griffith argued as he stood. The raven gave a long cackle before flying up to sit upon his shoulder.
'The power you seek is at the surface. You will need not take one step before it comes to you. However, with your new body, any strength you once possessed is doubled.' The raven would have smiled if it had lips, but Griffith did it for him.
"Let's make a bet." He then said.



Back outside the dungeon cell, the two guards continued to talk about their daily life.

"--and then one time, at rock camp, I came over to this one chick and gave her a huge bloody grope to the ass. Next thing I know, I'm looking at one of the Jonas brothers!"
"How did you escape the wrath of Lord Toromor for that?"
"I killed that one Jonas brother, but afterward I learned that the bloody bastard was some emo vampire and so then I was beaten pretty severely. I was quite thankful for being allowed to keep one of my balls at least." The new guard placed a hand on his chin to ponder about this as he sat himself against the side of the dungeon door. For a second, he could swear he just heard something on the other side.
"So when was the last time you screwed your old lady?" He then asked.
"I have no bloody idea. They stuck me down here for long months at a time and I barely get to do shit. Like whoever behind this thing is getting out any time soon I say! I'd love to have the weekend off for a little vacation."
"Hmm, how about I go back up there, grab some whores, tell them you're doing your job and we'll have a little fun?"
"Well, what do you know?! First thing you've said that makes some sense. You run back up there and I'll go take my piss. I doubt they'll notice if we left my post or not."
"Great, I'll see you in an hour." And with that, the new guard began his climb back up the stairs as the other guard contemplated how he would take a piss.

"Ah, bloody hell with it! I can't take it anymore!" Frustrated with remembering how bad he had to pee, he quickly unzipped his breeches and whipped it out, firing away the minute it was released. "By satan himself, that feels gr--" CRASH! An explosion erupted from behind the solider as just when he was glancing back to look, the humongous round stone door slammed into his face first before ramming into his entire body. The sheer force threw him into the wall across from the stairs and then limply fell into dark deep below.

"That was for Bea Arthur you golden girl hating pansies!" The man screamed as he stepped outside. The dead body had become a short, well-built and stocky man known as Griffith (for now) with long slicked back black hair. The raven had given him a set of clothes as well, now garbed in a long black trenchcoat, black ninja boots, black ninja pants, and a pink t-shirt that said 'Laughter is my excuse for killing people. What's yours?'

Not far, the new guard had stopped short of nearly pissing himself when the explosion occurred. He was not just one hundred steps from that dungeon when he saw this strange fellow and his paralyzing ice-blue eyes staring at him from below. When they started to come towards him, fear had glued his boots into the old stone beneath his feet. When the man came into the light of his torch, he wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or terrified.

"You! What's your name?" The stranger asked.
"B-B-B-Bob."
"Really? You look like a Bob." He said while putting an arm around the guard. "Now, listen. I need to get to the surface and it'd be great if I had someone to talk to because from the way it looks, it must be a long way to go."
"Y-y-yes...it is..." He said agreeing. "...s-so are y-y-you going to kill me?"
"Of course not! It's not like you were the one who put me in that place. Come, let's talk about current events!" And so the two of them step by step went up the staircase towards the surface, when all of the sudden the tower dorm room violently swung open before they could get to the main tower gate.

"What the hell are you doing, boy?!" It was the tower captain, lord Bloodaxe. He looked like shit, but then again being a zombie had such disadvantages. "I told you to go to your post with the other guy! And who the **** is this weakling?!" Bob didn't know how to respond after being caught with his pants down, but that or turning around to get gutted by a guy that scared the shit out of him moreso than captain Bloodaxe, he was within a rock and a hard blade, though the rock was mighty ugly.
"U-u-um...I was g-g-going to get some w-whores, Bloodaxe, s-sir. A-and this guy is..." For a moment, Bob realized he never asked the stranger his name as he looked back towards him. Before he could ask, the stranger pushed him aside and walked up to the much taller captain.
"Hi, I'm Valkyarc. My old name was Griffith, but due to legal battles with Kentaro Miura (*creator of the manga Berserk), I had to change it."
"Griffith?" Bloodaxe said as he gave a puzzled look. "Oh! YOU! I thought you were rotting down there like the ***** you were!"
"Well, this nice guy here felt so bad for me that he let me out and for this favor, he asked me to give him a blowjob. I wasn't comfortable with that, so he told me if I could get you to do it for me."
"Why you son of a bitch! I'm gonna cut your balls off with my axe and use them as....use them as...PING PONG BALLS! YEAH!"

In his anger, Bloodaxe ran back to his room to grab his battleaxe, returning a second later ready for battle.

"Hey, Fonzie, you might wanna know that there's a raven eating at your ankle." Valkyarc said.
"Like I'd fall for that!" Bloodaxe yelled. Valkyarc smiled.
"You will." And like Valk said, the same raven with beady red eyes was pecking at the giant's ankle, the zombie screaming out in pain as his ankle abruptly snapped and the viking fell forward. "Have a nice trip!" Valkyarc then said sticking one leg out, Bloodaxe falling over it and then off the side of the staircase.
"You won't get away with thissssssssssssssss!" Bloodaxe shouted as he was devoured within the darkness of the abyss.
"See ya next fall!" Bob said. Valkyarc glaring at him with disdain.
"That was so cliche." And finally, the two of them walked to the front gate.

[end of part 1]

[Zardoch]

The microsecond Valkyarc opened the door, lightning struck close at the stone steps. Outside, there was an eternal storm of great thunder and lightning with a deep rumbling like a great beast fighting a great war. It was almost intimidating as lightning continued to strike closer and closer. Then Valkyarc remembered what the raven had said and pieced together the words, suddenly growing curious.

“Shit man! This wasn’t like this when I came here!” Bob then complained, though Valkyarc took no notice. The man once known as Griffith felt something new within the darkness of his mind. He smiled as he stepped outside.

BANG! Just when Valkyarc stepped out onto the pavement, lightning came from the heavens like a perfect throw using the perfect spear and within that moment, life was bliss. Another bolt came raining down, and then another, and another. The flashes turned the air wound Valkyarc white and the bombardment of thunder was like placing your ear up the largest amp in the world at full blast. Bob had fell backwards back into the tower and curled up with both eyes closed and both ears covered as this happened. It didn’t stop for a good ten minutes either and all the while—all that power—all that heavenly bliss poured inside the essence of Valkyarc’s very soul. His body absorbed it like a lustful woman as she embraced the ecstasy of another and the spirit within shrieked with a dark laughter.

And then it was done. Clouds were dissipating and rolling back the blanket of night as the sun shined down on a world that has never tasted its light. Valkyarc embraced its warmth as he stood there twitching, the power inside him flowing through every atom of his self and tingling with pure felicity. His skin had turned red as well with his black hair spiked backwards from the static electricity. When Bob saw him, his fear went beyond the realm of the natural world. Finally, as Valk opened his eyes, everything in front of him appeared so clear, so lush with detail. The ice-blue pigment had began to glow too, deeply like the color of lightning itself as he stared off towards the castle of doom. At the same time, he could sense all living things within the castle as the electricity that runs through the brain gave off a wave that was like a scent to his mind.

“Hmm, it looks like these blokes need some new window drapes. Don’t you think so, Bob?” Valkyarc suggested while lifting up both arms. Without warning, bolts of electricity shot from his fingertips and arched high up into the sky until they landed at specific points around the castle. With a burst of power, Valkyarc then pulsated streams of pure lightning into each of these spots, five in all as each connected to the next to form a pentagram. This master of lightning then gave out a grizzly scream and threw forth such force that each of the five bolts transformed into huge torrents of power. Small columns of tornadoes if you will as the sheer thunder began to shake the very walls of castle doom. Slowly, he then turned his head towards Bob.

“What did Dwight Eisenhower say that one time? OH yeah, I like Ike!” In a flash of beauty, all five torrents of lightning came together to form a tiny sphere and without warning, was split at the atomic level. What happened next could only be appreciated by a mad scientist as the eruption ripped through every single piece of stone in and out of the castle with a blast radius of a couple miles. The last thing Bob heard—or ever was going to hear—was Valkyarc’s laughter as the bastard spread out his arms to welcome the incoming destruction.

For a second time, silence swept over the darkness that ensued as clouds started to reform after the bomb went off. Valkyarc sat on his knees breathing heavily from using so much energy, looking off onto the crater that he had just created. Thoughts ran through his mind as he remembered his old comrades, Toromor with his whores, Akira reading Berserk. Gorath lifting weights, Winter making more runes, Leviathan secretly listening to falloy boy, Bloodaxe downloading his porn; all of it gone in a flash. It was then he realized how much he didn’t really miss it. In all honesty, it was nothing personal. He could only chuckle at himself as he finally remembered his staircase buddy, Bob.

“Bob? Where’d you go?” Standing up, Valkyarc walked toward the broken tower and looked down before the gate to see a skeleton. “There you are!” He bent down and picked up the skull, dusting it off a little before sliding his hand into the back of the head and jaw.

“So how did you escape the blast?” He asked the skull.”
“Well, with my genius skill in standing still, I avoided the blast by staring at it long enough until it decided to go around me!” The skull replied.
“Is that a fact? I think I did the same thing. Must be why I survived too. You know, you’d look great on a pirate flag.”
“You think so? I always thought of myself as becoming a model. Just the other skulls might make fun of me.”
“That’s awful! In that case, I should threaten to skull **** them if they do. Though now that I think about it, you do kind of look like a ***** even I would laugh at.”
“Says the ‘badass’ in a pink shirt.”
‘Touche, Mr. Skull.”

“Hey, you!” A strange voice shouted.
“Uh, what?”

From out of the rubble of the tower, a familiar face came stumbling about as Valkyarc’s old friend Bloodaxe had to survived the blast, wheezing with each step.

“I’m gonna skill you with Odin’s ****, you bastard you! And why are you talking to that skull” Bloodaxe said threateningly.
“I’m trying to make him feel better by being the ventriloquist.”
“You suck at it! I mean you’re moving your lips while doing it! THAT’S NOT HOW IT’S DONE!” Bloodaxe then paused for a second. Wait…where’s the castle?”
”Oh, you finally noticed that? Well, I gave it a little falcon punch and then just everything collapsed. It was very strange. It’s 9 eleven all over again.” Valkyarc snickered after his remark.
“But—but—my porn collection! MY SWEET, LOVING PORN COLLECTION!” Bloodaxe fell to his knees in tears as he realized how much his life meant now without the only thing that kept him from cutting his wrist.
“Oh, that? I downloaded it before I destroyed everything. It’s in this white chocolate hershey’s bar.” Valkyarc proceeded to pull out a one pound-thick white chocolate hershey’s bar and hand it over to Bloodaxe. “The memory card is in the last stick, so you can eat the rest.”
“Oh boy, chocolate!” Bloodaxe ripped it from Valkyarc’s hands and began eating it, wrapper and all. After gulping it down, Bloodaxe realized something. “Hey, this isn’t chocolate. It taste like plasti—“ BOOM! With a remote in his hand, Valkyarc smiled as Bloodaxe’s neck exploded and the head went flying.
Valkyarc sighed. “Damn, I love plastic explosives.”

Finally, feeling like everything was in order, Valkyarc walked off to the edge of the crater.

“Looks like it’s time for a new age to come upon us. An age where my greatness supercedes all and darkness covers the light. An era of such dark beauty, the insane shall inherit the earth.”
“You’re full of shit.” Says the skull.
“I know, my lovely Bob, I know.”

[Sinister]

There are different archetypes for villains, of course. Though, I would say that there are a bare minimum of requirements to be an "according-to-Hoyle" Villain. I suppose I would classify myself as an ineffective Evil Genius. I have the smarts, the total lack of regard for most everything. But I'm also far too lazy and careful. Suppose a situation were to present itself, say, getting away with something horrible... I would do it. But to set up such a situation if too risky and too tasking...

Once a deed is done, I've noticed a deadly flaw in my character.
My problem is every Villain's Achilles's heel. I want someone to realize exactly how clever I've been. So I consequently have trouble keeping a victory to myself.

If I had henchmen...well...then...but I don't, alas.


How would you classify yourself as a Villain?


This Week's Villain Quote:

"-in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and seek not to alter me." -Much Ado About Nothing (John the Bastard)

-Sin

[Meier Link]

How would you classify yourself as a Villain?

I would have to say that I am the more outspoken, straight forward style. I don't have to give the classic villainous speech because my plots are very obvious and clear. Most of the time there is a motive behind every thing I do and with a little common sence it is obvious what the over all intentions are.

I will come back and add alittle more to this here in a few, as of right now my head just started pounding and I cant think straight. If I don't edit this one, meh oh well.

[Halie]

How would you classify yourself as a Villain?

Erm... like a bottle of the new Percil Fabric Softener, I guess. Small, but mighty! .

Other than that... erm... well I get jealous very easily and tend to be really mean to those whom I'm envious of, so I guess that counts as something. >.>;

[Unknown Entity]

How would you classify yourself as a Villain?

Yeah, I guess. Even in video games (apart from Fallout 3), I'm an evil bitch. I'm never scred of a good horror film, and if anything they give me ideas - like that cheese grater and sliding wall of sand paper. Saw has got to be my favourite in terms of getting ideas. ^^

[Taco-Calamitous]

Yay, Valkyarc's arrived! Nice entrance, destroying the home of your old friends and blowing up some guy who I'm not sure who he is... To quote Bowser, I give you an "A! A for awful!"

Now, what kind of villain am I...? If I were a form of carbonated poison, what flavor of carbonated poison would I be? Lessee...

I think that I would be the bumbling villain type. Like someone who belongs to the Guild of Calamitous Intent off of the Venture Bros.. My goals may or may not be absurd, and the outcome of what I do may or may not be said goal. However, if the outcome just happens to be in my favor, I would play things off as though they'd gone according to plan. "Ye...Yeah! Ha ha, I've made toast with peanut butter, just like I planned!" I thought your plan was to form a container around the peanuts. And look at the mess you've made! "...shut up, you."

Still, even though I have such bumbling traits, I can still do back-handed acts, like stealing something when no one's looking, tricking someone into doing what I want them to do, or offing someone I don't like when no one else is around (like I play my characters in Morrowind or Oblivion.) No crime is too petty for me; I would even trick a little boy into thinking I was his friend and take advantage of his talents by making some money off him (Like Mr. Foulfellow off Pinocchio.)

My biggest flaw, of course, would be that I often f things up, and am not as smart as I think I am. My bizarre luck might take me to the top, but in the mean time, I'll sputter my way upward at an uneven pace, maybe even falling back a few steps every once in a while (landing myself in jail.)

Thankee for that subject of the week, Sinister, good sir. I have been... preoccupied, as of late. (Whoah... vague and cryptic, huh?) Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Zardoch]

Alright, now for my first official post that does not just flex my awesomeness so well.

Listen up you purse-grabbing pukes, I have now been given approval of a recently created Evil, Inc. application that ALL new members will need to complete before being reviewed and accepted. This does not include Chez or Sinister as we know them well enough that they're obvious great members for our club. However, lottiepop, Halie, Entity, and Spiral; all four of you must take this application in order to become actual members. Hellfire was a bit hasty in the easy acceptance of most of you and well, we at Evil, Inc. have taken it upon ourselves to change that.

Indeed, Evil, Inc. is a dark corporation for those who live and breathe such chaos. This means for those who'd paint a cheap mustache on their face with a black wash-off color marker and call themselves a villain aren't the kind of potential we want in our lovely business. Yes, there is some fun and satirical jokes being thrown this way and that, but we're not the light-beer type of evil, we're the 120% pure alcohol kind and while there are a few laughs, we wouldn't want anymore than to make people suffer. And I don't mean poking stupid little hamsters with forks, screwing with your family, or chucking friends into a lift. Stuff like that is high school shits and giggles with britney spears blasting in the background. Any emo retarded teenybopper can do something like that and call it 'evwill, lol'.

Now, don't get me wrong. This isn't some stereotypical 'i'm brutalz, lol' rad tad little gang where everyone drinks beer, talks about ****ing whores, screams HAIL a lot, listens only to brutalz music, and tries to single people out. This is not the BOD and there are many people who would do well here (sort of). Simply put, we're beyond such things, but at the same time in the most simple of terms, we don't just let anyone in.

So, Taco here will be editing (copying and pasting) the application within the Requirements on the first page. There you will be given instructions on completing the application, how much time you'll have to complete it, and other various things you might be wondering about.

Insincerely yours,
Valkyarc

[Sinister]

I realize by merit of my tenure and reputation, I am precluded from this exam. However nourishing such a compliment is to my ego, my own vanity demands that my standards be judged and approved. And vanity was always my favorite sin.

You may expect my answer to the application shortly.

Faithfully,
-Sin

[Zardoch]

Oh, then I forgot to add that while those four must take this application test and you two don't need to, you can take it if you wish. No harm in that. Give us something to read in the bathroom, oh mighty one. : P

EDIT: So I won't have to double post...NEW EVIL, INC. BANNERS! Just made them. I can make more if you guys want.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...vilinccopy.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...ncVigocopy.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...vilinccopy.png

[Sinister]

I decide to opt for a more public approach rather than PM. Hope you will forgive me, but my Vanity also demands that if I have cleverness to show, it must be shown...rather than PMed...


Question 1: Personality: In this scenario, you are a successful villain. You have plenty of henchmen, a country that loves you, money, and enough power that the rest of the world ignores you in fear of retaliation. How did you obtain this position and why?

Through Religion. Adopting a Missionaria Protectiva approach and assuming the resemblance of a local prophet. Zie Große Lüge...The Big Lie. Pioneered and nearly perfected by Hitler, himself. Accounting for the credulity quotient from a native population tends towards culture and anthropology...but many cultures will more readily embrace a big lie close to home. Thinking that no one would have the impudence or temerity to distort truth in such an obvious way.

Question 2: Creativity and Efficiency: You’re short on cash, so you do the next most obvious thing; rob a bank. The bank itself is one of the largest chains and has stored 10 million in normal cash, 30 in marked ‘smart’ bills, and 15 mil in electronic credit stored in large hard-drives with the deadliest firewall. The bank itself sits next to the most public tourist attraction in the city and inside has 50 guards, 30 of them paid and 20 experienced security officers with military background. The vault itself has 20 cameras and security systems you’d see in Mission Impossible. You yourself only have five henchmen and the basic tools needed to rob any bank. Tell us how you could rob this bank in the most quick and creative way you can within a believable scenario.

Simple...do not rob it... Instead attempt to. Since it's the largest, it obviously has the majority of it's tender for the chain. Give each henchman the tools. C4...guns...masks. Stage a show. Two teams of two people. Both in different uniforms to give the appearance that the bank is being robbed by two different groups. One will, having acquired a job at the tourist attraction next door will prepare an entrance zone to breach the bank walls nearest the vault. The approaching four henchmen will simultaneously set off all the car alarms parked outside in unison with the other henchmen breaching the wall. The blast, all the alarms going off will be taken for an earthquake and will be shut down. Power will be cut via the breaker box and the man inside will wire the vault and cage in the confusion to blow. The henchmen are in the hazard and must of course all be sacrificed. They will break into the bank and will stage a quarrel. A real murder will be staged. One of the men will turn on and fire onto one of the members of the other team. The man will think he is using fake bullets to stage a fake death as a distraction. He would be wrong. The blow will be fatal. Both teams will turn on themselves in a hail of bullets.

An EMP device costs about 400$ to construct from let's say a copper pipe, chemical explosives and a capacitor. Set off, their precious electronic monies will be obliterated...not stolen. After that, the henchmen detonates the vault he wired. The blast used to destroy the vault will be ten times what the henchman believes. It will not only destroy the vault all of the money, but him as well.

At this stage you've wasted lives and innumerable stores of cash far beyond any single insurance company's ability to restore. A proper assessment of the damage will be required to remunerate the bank. I will have all the fake documents of an adjuster. To assess the electronic data, I will have to check their electronic accounts. At which point I will have robbed it.


Question 3: Ethics: You’ve done it. You have finally snapped and are looking for some sense in closure by getting on top of a tall building and taking out people below with a sniper rifle. (Think New York city as you are looking down onto a typical shopping corner.)

As you sit there searching for the ‘right’ person, 5 people catch your eye. There’s an old lady with her huge oxygen tank while sitting on a bench in front of a diner and she’s whacking some youth on the head with her purse. Across the street is some Jewish rich boy in a designer’s hoodie listening to his iPod and is about to enter a liquor store. Behind the old lady is a white trash mom talking to some guy about weed while she ignores her twin baby girls sitting in a baby cart. In the traffic near the farthest light, you can see a balding fat black man smoking a cigarette as he curses at the skinny trucker carrying dangerous chemicals. Lastly, next to the liquor store is a the beauty salon where a gay man stands on his smoke break


The implications you are making between liquor...chemicals and cigarettes are puerile. I would shoot the two babies and the Jew's iPod. Because I'm a nut.


Question 4: Abilities: If you had to choose a set of abilities (only two) you would use to take over the world, what would they be, how did you obtain them, how do you use them, and why?

The ability to read electronic data by looking at a computer from the outside. The ability to influence people. Their applications for world take-over are self-evident.

Question 5: Armageddon: It’s the end of the world and all that most villains would love to gain is being destroyed by other villains who only want death. As a villain yourself that ironically treasures life as to death: what would be your final accomplishments, how would you die, and in a sort of Deus Ex Machina scenario, would you become a hero or commit a minor heroic act in order to save the world? And why?

I would. The world must not be destroyed. Mankind must be destroyed. The two things are not so inseparable that you must take them both. I would commit a small heroic act to save the world. The world is a paradise. Mankind is the fire brought to paradise.


-Sin

[Taco-Calamitous]

Fungah! I was about to post this message, when the Administrators moved to foil my plans and perform a system update! Little did they realize that I would be back later to spread my mayhem, all the same... heh heh heh...

What's going on, guys? I haven't heard back from anyone yet, and Meier Link and Valkyarc have not informed me if they have, either. You all have until Tuesday to fill out the Application (unless by circumstance you were unable to read the Application when I posted it last Monday night; i I see that you posted on TFF around Monday night or Tuesday morning last week, no dice, and perhaps even immediate obliteration.) If we don't start seeing applications come in, we will have to start letting people go... off the rooftop of our headquarters! (You can assume that is not a short fall.) Bwa ha ha ha!!!

Sinister, I read your response, and never commented on it. Liked it, though. Particularly the answers that were a bit cheeky... You do us all proud (and I have my eye on you...)

Alright. Now, I feel it's time to celebrate another classic villain from the Halls of Infamy (or Doom... or Pie. Take your pick.) Today, it's... The Queen, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

I think everyone knows who the Queen is: the stepmother of the movie's heroine, Snow White, she was obsessed with being the most beautiful woman in all the lands. And, as long as her magic mirror told her she was the fairest of them all, she was satisfied. However, once her stepdaughter reached maturity, the mirror claimed that Snow White was the fairest, thus instigating the Queen to have her offed.

What impressed me about this woman is the lengths she would go to achieve this, even sacrificing her own beauty, if only for a time, in her transformation into the old hag. What further impresses me is her ability to creep me out, even to this day: I watched the movie again last week, and when the old hag came on and was glaring around everywhere, I was like "Noooooooo, don't look at me!" Her sense of humor seemed awesome, too-if only glimpsed for a moment-in a scene where she walks by a skeleton reaching desperately through his dungeon bars for a jug of water that is just out of arm's reach. "Thirsty?!" the Queen questions, and then kicks the jug into the skeleton with a loud cackle.

Furthermore, the Queen is the first of a long line of classic villains, being the villainess in the very first feature length animated film. And it can also be noted that she got no love on the Nostalgia Critic’s Top 11 Disney Villains, a gross oversight in my estimation.

So, on behalf of Evil, Inc., I salute you... The Queen. (Feel free to bring up any villains you think should be recognized, as well, fellow brethren.) Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Meier Link]

What's going on, guys? I haven't heard back from anyone yet, and Meier Link and Valkyarc have not informed me if they have, either. You all have until Tuesday to fill out the Application (unless by circumstance you were unable to read the Application when I posted it last Monday night; i I see that you posted on TFF around Monday night or Tuesday morning last week, no dice, and perhaps even immediate obliteration.) If we don't start seeing applications come in, we will have to start letting people go... off the rooftop of our headquarters! (You can assume that is not a short fall.) Bwa ha ha ha!!!

I have received nothing outside of what Sin has posted here. Apparently they don't realise this could seal their fate with the club???!?!!?!

Any ways I have been thinking to myself, we have talked about some great Villains in our few weeks of life. But what about the bad Villains, we have neglected them thus far.

So I am curious to see who you guys think are the top 5 worst movie Villains of all times, I am limiting this for now so that in future use we can discuss other topics.

As for me I will respond when my hands are not so tied.

[Taco-Calamitous]

...and you've all been thrown off the Evil, Inc. rooftop. I have received word from no one since Valkyarc read to you our terms. Not even so much as a request for an extension (which I may have been willing to give. I'm not completely heartless, after all. That's not my job.) Send a PM our way and we may reconsider, and reanimate your bodies via one of our unspeakable, "playing God" machines in the basement. This may seem sudden. This may seem unfair. This may seem rotten... but remember who you're dealing with here, kiddies!

I have briefly thought about your "5 Worst Villains of All Time" question, Meier Link. I need a little more time to decide, however. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Andromeda]

Alright, as per the agreement I'm closing down the club during this period of review. It has been a month since the creation and now I will be reviewing all of the posts again. I will make my final decision on whether the club will remain open or be closed.

I will have an answer for you before the end of Saturday.

[Andromeda]

I've read all of the posts a second time. And I have come to my final decision, which actually changed from the start to the end. I was seriously considering letting keep the club seeing that some of the conflicting members were removed by the note on the post. So I let some things slide as I read. However, my decision reversed and made all too easy by the posts from Valkyarc. It was made to clear to me that he does not understand the purpose that Telegraph had in mind when he created the club. And the application questions that were adopted made it clear that the idea has been lost. This club will remained closed for losing sight of its original purpose and breaking the terms of the agreement.

This is my final word. As I said you will not get anymore chances. This was last one. No amount of PMs or negative reps will change my mind.

Telegraph, you had a good start with some bumps, but everyone's posts were weighed in this decision as I said. You did well to try to keep the comedic tone that you wanted and intelligent discussion.