Worst injuries? (graphic)

[Sasquatch]

(Mods, Admins, etc: I apologize if this is too adult for this forum, just let me know.)

Alright, so I hurt myself the other day, and I figured I'd make a thread about it. Kind of like the MAK-90 I bought for my dad, I think mine might trump those of others ... but my recent injury wasn't too gruesome or anything.

So ... just explain your worst injury. I mean, I've been shot at, and I've been blown up a few times (I could explain how blast concussion turns a person's organs to jelly, but nah), but the thing that happened the other day took the cake.

...

...

So yeah, I broke my penis.

Apparently, there are three tubes in a man's penis. One goes all the way through -- that's the urethra -- and the other two are just there. Those are the ones that fill up with blood, causing an erection. The outer lining of each of those two tubes is thick and fibrous, but gets thinner and weaker when filled with blood. Tuesday morning, I somehow bent mine the wrong way, rupturing the side of one of those tubes, causing the blood to pump out into the rest of the organ, turning it and the surrounding area a deep purple color. Not only that, but the area around the ruptured tube swelled, pushing the rest of the penis away, so I had a near-ninety-degree angle for a while. So, realizing the severity of the situation, I started driving to the nearest VA hospital, only to be diverted (before I got all the way there, thankfully) to another, more distant VA hospital with a better urology staff. To fix this "penile fracture", as it's called, they needed to cut around the foreskin, where a circumcision would be, then roll the skin around the penis all the way down to the base. Then, they have access to the ruptured tube, so they can clean and suture it. At that point, they roll the skin back up and sew it back in place.

So yeah, I now have nineteen stitches around the top of my penis, and I don't even know how many on the inside. The ones inside will dissolve in six weeks or so, and the ones on the outside will take two weeks to dissolve, but that should be healed by then. For the next month, however, I'm prettymuch forbidden from having an erection. That's not a problem right now (I couldn't get hard if I tried), but maybe in a week or two, it'll be very bad.

For now, I have three prescription medications: An antibiotic, to ensure that neither wound gets infected; Valium, to ensure that I am relaxed enough when I sleep to not get an erection; and Vicodin, so that I don't feel like I had my penis sliced open.

... So now, what are y'all's worst injuries?

(Yes, it's okay. Go ahead and laugh.)

(Oh, and a tip for y'all guys. About half the time a penile fracture occurs, it's during intercourse -- most often when the woman is on top, or when she is on top of a desk or table or something, and the man pulls out too far and ends up ramming himself into the table. So I say to you ... be safe. Trust me, it's not fun. And on that note, if you wake up with an erection, don't push it too hard to get it into your pants.)

[Che]

Gotta be careful with the crazy fat girls, that's all I gotta say. But keep on playin playa.

[LocoColt04]

I gotta say, I've bent but never broken. Ouch, sir. I've taken a swig or three of tequila in your honor. I was going to stop at one, but the sympathy pains still hurt too much.

Also, points to Che for the best response ever.

So, my worst injury ended with me breaking my spine, but since we're going for graphic here, I'll go with one I walked away from. Much more entertaining.

Was but a wee teenager, off at some summer camp at a college campus somewhere in D.C. screwing about with some other kids, we got in a bit of a shoving match on the way to the mess hall, all fun and games, right? I shoved one of the guys and he ran into the other, and they both fell into a thorn bush. We all stopped and stared at each other for a minute, and then they chased after me.

Took off across the street, ran up a gravel pit, and then leapt onto the next sidewalk. On this sidewalk, there was a small, four-stair incline. I didn't jump past all four steps. I tripped on the final step and flew forward somewhere in the range of eight feet and landed on the ground, on my left knee. Forward momentum kept me sliding, on my bare knee (hooray shorts!) for about another twelve feet. When I finally came to a stop, the other guys caught up to me to see if I was okay.

Half of the skin from my knee was missing. I had a hole open wide enough that you'd swear I was an anatomy sample. The muscle was torn and the kneecap was scuffed, and you could see behind the muscles all the way to the inner layers of skin on the other side of my knee. AWESOME. Also, tendons look funny when you see them up close.

Furthermore, iodine SUCKS.

[nix]

*Clenches genitals and runs from thread in horror*

[rJ floW]

I, too, have broken my penis...bruised to shit for 3 days...woulda only been 3 days had i been able to control myself....10 days later i could **** on the regular...

HOWEVER

Worst injury ever i remember telling on this site long ago, ill break it down again

couple decades ago in club rugby in europe there was a big tackle and the man had his hip dislocated. Play rolled on and the trainer came out and popped his hip back in. The player screamed at the top of his lungs. The entire stadium heard it and he ripped his throat.

They wondered what happened and took him in for a full body MRI. Turns out when his hip dislocated, one of his testicles slipped into the hip joint. When the trainer popped his hip back in, his testicle got crushed under the pressure, resulting in an inhumanous shrill.....

although I've had a broken **** due to overwhelming ****ing, it could never compare to having a ball crushed by a hip replacement.

Case Closed

[Violet]

Luckily for me, I've managed to avoid fatal injuries throughout my life, and hopefully there's not any waiting for me around the corner.

Out of all the minor injuries I've had, my worst one happened when I was 6 years old. There's two versions to this. The first version is the one I remember. I was heading over to the kitchen to get another snowy nut ball((http://beyondwonderful.com/images/re...ls_300x413.jpg)) and I heard my dad yell "LOOK OUT!". That's the last thing I heard before becoming a flat pancake. He fell on top of me between the stair railing and the kitchen entrance. When he got off of me, I didn't move at all, I was too stunned. Everyone was screaming and crying, and I had blood leaking out of my mouth, my ears, and my nose. My dad had this dark navy-blue welt on his leg the size of a hardball.

So, the other version was my sisters' version where I was 5 years old instead of 6.. and I was playing my new Polly Pocket board game in front of the Christmas tree(being where my dad fell on me.. but I remembered differently). We always argue about this whenever the memory is brought up, lol.

Anyways, I was rushed to the hospital and I ended up puking up blood 7 times. They said I didn't have any brain damage.. that I was fine and didn't need any stitches. My ear was filled with dried up blood the next day and I couldn't taste my breakfast D:... nor did I get to see Toy Story like my dad promised me *sniffles*.

[Xanatos]

OucH!!!! I don't think there is anything to laugh about Sasquatch, that's really ****ed up.

I myself never did have a major injury or anything similar to yours (thank God for that), the worst thing that's happened to me it to broke my right arm.

[nix]

Well the biggest physical injury ive ever had would have been when i was about 12 or 13, i somehow managed to do a backflip summersault (moonsault) out of a highish tree and landed on my upper body. Used my arms to break my fall, i came to in a state of shock. I reassured everybody i was fine, no biggie.

Then my cousin just freaks out shouting "OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOUR ARM"

I looked down and began to freak out crying.

My wrist had snapped completly off from the rest of my arm, pretty sure if it was windy my wrist/hand would have flailed in the wind. And i had to be rushed into hospital for an operation, i later found out if i didnt get the operation within 24 hours my arm would have been ****ed for life

[Clint]

I haven't really had any major injuries. I mean, sure, I'm sitting here with a herniated disk in my lower back, but that's not really all that bad, and I didn't even feel when I herniated it. I didn't feel any pain in my back until a week later. Before that, I only felt dull pain in my right leg, and severe pain in my right testicle and groin.

I did get a pretty bloody injury when I was about eight years old, though. I was playing down by the creek near my house, and I tripped, and fortunately, a large rock hitting my face broke my fall. One of my front teeth pierced through my bottom lip, half of the tooth breaking off completely, and the other half lodging itself into my gum. My mouth, especially the hole in my lip, began to bleed freely, and once the bleeding finally stopped, and the hole in my lip clotted, it swelled up five times it's regular size. I had a hard time eating that week, especially if there was any salt on the food. That's when I found out that salt and open wounds don't mix very well. It wasn't too bad.

[Sinister]

Jesus god almighty, man...I mean...just...wow. I'm uncomfortable just having read that...

Worst injury? The most dramatic was being stabbed with a broken fencing sword. That was pretty funny too in a way... It was foil, so it was just a puny france-lame blade. But it was old and when my opponent went into a fleche that hit on one of my lower ribs, the blade broke at the bend. Made a loud snapping sound like a whip cracking. He let go and the sword just hung there. I was standing there with a sword hanging off me like a hedgehog quill in a pin cushion... I was beginning to go pale, but everybody was just standing there looking at me. I took my fencing mask off and looked down. There was a big growing red spot on my right shoulder. If I was pale...then everyone was white as ghosts with their mouths open. No one quite knew what to do. The guy I was in play with backed off and took his mask off. He was the first to do anything. He called someone to call the ambulance.

They arrived and I was summarily, put under, repaired, stitched-up and given happy medication.


The worst injury, however, was falling out of tree with a chainsaw. I was trying to cut off dead limbs that had been damaged in a storm. The limb I was on, broke. Eighteen feet of hurt put on my lower back, plus a lovely gash. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to let my fingers off the deadman's switch on the saw. I don't do outside work anymore, really. Not that kind, anyway.

-Sin

[Che]

Turns out when his hip dislocated, one of his testicles slipped into the hip joint. When the trainer popped his hip back in, his testicle got crushed under the pressure, resulting in an inhumanous shrill.....

Wow oh my jesus, NO THANKS.

Case Closed

[Zargabaath]

Ouch. That is... most tragic. The one topic men never joke about. I believe my penis has cracked before when my ex-girlfriend was on top; no serious injury resulted from that thankfully.

My worst injury would have to be when I broke/dislocated my clavical. I was in the 8th grade and was in Gym/P.E class. We were playing "Pass and Advance", a game based off of American football, where the players can not move when they have the football sooooo they must pass the ball, advance down the field and score a touchdown. The opposing team had possession of the football and the player threw the ball into the air. Well, opposition player and myself ran for the ball, both of us jumped at the same time and slamed into each other mid-air. I landed on my left side, the side where my clavical was just broken/dislocated adding to the pain. And that's it, nothing horrendous or gruesome.

[Aerif]

Ugh... Well this thread has taught me one thing so far. A joystick can be broken.

The worst injury I ever had was unfortunatly not very graphic, but it does feel appropiate posting it on a Final Fantasy Forum. When I was quite young (and ironically I can't remember exactly when) I somehow managed to fall and bang my head pretty good off of the ground. The result was amnesia. I'd like to go into detail but seriously I've forgotten a lot of it . I think I'd lost a good chunk of my memory for about two weeks, but after it I never really recovered due to the fact that for some reason I just lost all artistic abillity. Now the best I can draw is matchstick men.

I really do feel silly forgetting about the bulk of my amnesia since I obviously recovered from it...

[Pete]

I don't really have any single worst injury. I have a bunch of pretty bad ones, but nothing absolutely horrifying.

I've been concussed twice. One time playing baseball. I was playing catcher and there was a play at the plate. The runner on third was this huge mammoth of a kid, and he ran into me at full force. I wasn't wearing my helmet cause it hindered my vision. Next thing I remembered was my dad splashing ice cold water on my face and telling me I was gonna be the 4th person to bat that inning. I don't remember anything else from that game.

The other concussion was me hitting a crossbeam in my grandmas attic. Knocked me out cold.

I've also cut my thumb open, down to the bone with a bread and steak knife. Yes, twice on two separate occasions. One time I squirted blood, so I drove to the hospital.

I've also broken my nose 5 times.
1. Faceplant while skateboarding
2. Wrestling with a roommate, forearm to face
3. Ran into a tree branch while piss ass drunk
4. Playfighting with now ex. Knee to face
5. Fistfight. I had literally 5 people pulling me off of the kid, and he landed a cheap shot where I couldn't defend myself.

I've also blown out my ACL playing baseball. Ruptured it while getting caught in a rundown. My right leg was bent at a near 90 degree angle... to the side. Imagine if your kneecaps faced each other, THAT's what my right leg was bent like. Being that my parents are from the old school of thought, I didn't see a doctor about it at all. I got drunk as shit the first night, just so I could walk. After that, I started hitting the gym hardcore, and I totally fixed it on my own.

Oh, and I'm not sure if I broke it, but my penis has also made a very unnatural sound during sex. It popped. Like the sound when you crack your knuckles. Yeah. Not fun.

[Azuteor]

Ugh. All these stories about broken penises is making me cringe and fear for my own. Sadly, but still on topic, the worst injury I have ever had was a scab on my right knee when I slipped on wet concrete. I was trying to beat my best friend before she could get the last piece of pizza. >>;

[Meier Link]

Directed to all of the broken penis stories OUCH! My twig and giggle berries are trying to go into hinding after those stories. Need more beer now, thanks.

I don't think I have ever had any thing serious happen to me (like broken bones) through out my life. The reason I say I "don't think" is because I never went to the Dr when I should of. I am pretty sure my nose has been broken twice, once by a hocky stick and the seond being a tragic boomerang accident. But as for serious injuries that made me want to crawl up into a ball I will post 2; seeing I have been in sports for a very long time and have quite a few tales to tell.

First one:
When I was about 16 I was really big into dirt bikes, had a 250CC with a hell of a power ban. I got up one morning and decided it was a perfect day for riding but the problem was it was raining. Using my better judgement I decided to let some time pass by and let the sun come out nd dry up all of the rain (yes that was a cheezy childhood rhyme reference). After a few hours of the Oklahoma sun being out I decided it was time to ride! I got out with my trusty Honda; one kick and it started like a champ. I got fully geared up and headed out ((full gear was a rare occasion to see me in))

I was off to the local track. It was a small track that a friend had made for practice that was located in the back of my dads edition. I got there and inspected the grounds. Table top, dry. Double, dry. Triple, dry. Everything was good to go. I got out and took a few sections of the track slow and everything gave the AOK for a good day of riding. Just to be on the safe side I decided to take the table top at a slower speed then normal to see what the bike and the track would do together. Got a good launch and got abotu 15 feet of air. It was go time.

I made my way around the track with no problem and decided it was time to give the track the final trial, the triple. I came around the 5 main corner of the track, down shifted and let the power ban go nuts. Building speed I kept the ban rapped out and came up on the first hill of the triple still gaining speed.

About half wawy up the incline I realised something was wrong, terribly wrong but there was not stopping. My back end started fish tailing as I uncovered the hidden mud under the freshly dried dirt. I got to the top of the hill and pulled back to get a good launch to cleaer the triple. The back end dug in and I was launched in a very bad position; the bike was actualy tilting backwards on me and I was shot to high and knew I wasnt going to make the full 3 hills.

I came down on the incline of the third hill about mid way up with the bike still over rotated. I had it clutched and my had was laxed on the gas. When the back tire hit I was jarred hard and my clutch hand slipped which caused me to freak and pull with my only free hand. Still being wound up the motor went nuts as the RMPs where transfered to the back wheel.

The bike flipped back on to me. My boot strap got caught in the foot peg as the handle bars came back and smashed me in the chestand rolled off of me. I blacked out. Noone else was at the track that day so I am not sure how much time passed; couldn't of been to long though.

I woke up and my leg had already started to swell and I could feel the heat transfer through my pants into my other leg that was caught back twards the exhaust.

I stained to get my boot strap loose and wiggled myself free. It was really hard to breath andd my leg was killing me but I was able to get away from the bike and laid there. After about 20 minuites I decided to try and get up. I was able to but I couldn't put any pressure on my right leg but seeing the bike was still running I was able to get back on the bike and rode it home. I got home and went inside and laid down and blacked back out. I woke up the next morning, still in 75 percent of my gear and was black and blue from my neck down. I couldn't walk on my right leg for almost a week and I had a hard time breathing for almost 2.

Yeah, lame I know and not nearly as cool as breaking a penis or something like that. "But the second story will be better then the first but still not as bad as breaking a penis.

Second story (cliff note version seeing the first one was WAY to long):
I was at soccer practice one day and we where doing shots on an open goal, we where required to get your ball after you kicked it. So I kicked on in and headed into get it. AS soon as I retreived it I heard "watch out", I turned to run as I turned a soccer ball came in and hit me on my inner thigh catching my tesitcal inbwtween.

I turned my head as I was falling to the ground and saw the guy that kicked the ball rushing in. As I laid there in fetal postion with my hand clutched to my groin he picked me up and carried me off of the feildI didn't budge from the fetal position.

I got home that night still in pain but really afraid to look down. I was late around 6ish so I knew my Dr wouldn't be open and I was way to stuborn to go to the ER. I decided I would wait it out and go to the Drs. I got in the shower and to my suprise. Mr. Right, as I like to call him, was swollen 6X his normal size and was crouding lefty for room in the sack. Meier wept. So I cracked open a few beers and took alot of anti inflamitory pills and a few sleeping pills and crashed out for the night. Oddly enough when I got up the next morning I was still sore but my swollen friend was back down to normal size.

Seeing this was still freaking me out I went to the Dr. He checked me out and said everything was fine just had some bruising and everything would be back to normal in a couple of days.

Yeah like I said lame stories from Meier. Yay fun!

[OceanEyes28]

I have never broken my penis.


But I'm alone in the house right now and I actually just said out loud, "You BROKE your DICK?!" Good story.

My worst injury is not so bad. I got hit in the face with a broom when I was 5-ish and had to get stitches just under my eyebrow. I guess it could have taken out my eye... but it didn't. A few other minor things... but I don't get hurt much.

However, I know a guy who just recently stuck his hand in a lawnmower (durp) and his most recent facebook status about it was:

"Middle finger inevitabely became infected; not sure if it's in the bone yet, but if it is, goodbye finger. Surgeon "de-hooded" the finger, so basically with no anasthesia or topical, he removed the top to mid layer of skin all around my finger down to the middle joint. Shit felt like i was being skinned, which I was. All of this could be so different if I had just stopped and not been so hasty. =( pain."

Sounds sort of like your broken penis. Except I bet your glad there wasn't a lawnmower involved.

Also:

Luckily for me, I've managed to avoid fatal injuries throughout my life

Well, obviously.

[Maridia]

My junks doing just fine so I could always be doing worse I suppose.


For my worst injury I've ever had it's not the most exciting but is good enough to talk about. When I was 6 I was outside with the neighborhood kids and we were all playing Power Rangers. Tom, the kid who was the bad guy had a stick as his weapon. We were all doing our thing and instead of pretending he decided to whip it frisbee style right at my face. My right eye got pegged perfectly. Needless to say the game stopped and I went to the hospital. I remember I couldn't stop my eye from watering for hours. I needed to keep a totally awesome (Absolute piece of shit) looking green plastic eye patch on til I went to the optometrist. They put some drops in my eye and checked under some special light. Obviously I couldn't see it but the doctor and my parents said there's a giant scar across my cornea that was about a millimeter away from the pupil. So yep nothing like almost going blind in one eye!