Directed to all of the broken penis stories OUCH! My twig and giggle berries are trying to go into hinding after those stories. Need more beer now, thanks.

I don't think I have ever had any thing serious happen to me (like broken bones) through out my life. The reason I say I "don't think" is because I never went to the Dr when I should of. I am pretty sure my nose has been broken twice, once by a hocky stick and the seond being a tragic boomerang accident. But as for serious injuries that made me want to crawl up into a ball I will post 2; seeing I have been in sports for a very long time and have quite a few tales to tell.

First one:
When I was about 16 I was really big into dirt bikes, had a 250CC with a hell of a power ban. I got up one morning and decided it was a perfect day for riding but the problem was it was raining. Using my better judgement I decided to let some time pass by and let the sun come out nd dry up all of the rain (yes that was a cheezy childhood rhyme reference). After a few hours of the Oklahoma sun being out I decided it was time to ride! I got out with my trusty Honda; one kick and it started like a champ. I got fully geared up and headed out ((full gear was a rare occasion to see me in))

I was off to the local track. It was a small track that a friend had made for practice that was located in the back of my dads edition. I got there and inspected the grounds. Table top, dry. Double, dry. Triple, dry. Everything was good to go. I got out and took a few sections of the track slow and everything gave the AOK for a good day of riding. Just to be on the safe side I decided to take the table top at a slower speed then normal to see what the bike and the track would do together. Got a good launch and got abotu 15 feet of air. It was go time.

I made my way around the track with no problem and decided it was time to give the track the final trial, the triple. I came around the 5 main corner of the track, down shifted and let the power ban go nuts. Building speed I kept the ban rapped out and came up on the first hill of the triple still gaining speed.

About half wawy up the incline I realised something was wrong, terribly wrong but there was not stopping. My back end started fish tailing as I uncovered the hidden mud under the freshly dried dirt. I got to the top of the hill and pulled back to get a good launch to cleaer the triple. The back end dug in and I was launched in a very bad position; the bike was actualy tilting backwards on me and I was shot to high and knew I wasnt going to make the full 3 hills.

I came down on the incline of the third hill about mid way up with the bike still over rotated. I had it clutched and my had was laxed on the gas. When the back tire hit I was jarred hard and my clutch hand slipped which caused me to freak and pull with my only free hand. Still being wound up the motor went nuts as the RMPs where transfered to the back wheel.

The bike flipped back on to me. My boot strap got caught in the foot peg as the handle bars came back and smashed me in the chestand rolled off of me. I blacked out. Noone else was at the track that day so I am not sure how much time passed; couldn't of been to long though.

I woke up and my leg had already started to swell and I could feel the heat transfer through my pants into my other leg that was caught back twards the exhaust.

I stained to get my boot strap loose and wiggled myself free. It was really hard to breath andd my leg was killing me but I was able to get away from the bike and laid there. After about 20 minuites I decided to try and get up. I was able to but I couldn't put any pressure on my right leg but seeing the bike was still running I was able to get back on the bike and rode it home. I got home and went inside and laid down and blacked back out. I woke up the next morning, still in 75 percent of my gear and was black and blue from my neck down. I couldn't walk on my right leg for almost a week and I had a hard time breathing for almost 2.

Yeah, lame I know and not nearly as cool as breaking a penis or something like that. "But the second story will be better then the first but still not as bad as breaking a penis.

Second story (cliff note version seeing the first one was WAY to long):
I was at soccer practice one day and we where doing shots on an open goal, we where required to get your ball after you kicked it. So I kicked on in and headed into get it. AS soon as I retreived it I heard "watch out", I turned to run as I turned a soccer ball came in and hit me on my inner thigh catching my tesitcal inbwtween.

I turned my head as I was falling to the ground and saw the guy that kicked the ball rushing in. As I laid there in fetal postion with my hand clutched to my groin he picked me up and carried me off of the feildI didn't budge from the fetal position.

I got home that night still in pain but really afraid to look down. I was late around 6ish so I knew my Dr wouldn't be open and I was way to stuborn to go to the ER. I decided I would wait it out and go to the Drs. I got in the shower and to my suprise. Mr. Right, as I like to call him, was swollen 6X his normal size and was crouding lefty for room in the sack. Meier wept. So I cracked open a few beers and took alot of anti inflamitory pills and a few sleeping pills and crashed out for the night. Oddly enough when I got up the next morning I was still sore but my swollen friend was back down to normal size.

Seeing this was still freaking me out I went to the Dr. He checked me out and said everything was fine just had some bruising and everything would be back to normal in a couple of days.

Yeah like I said lame stories from Meier. Yay fun!