I work with a compulsive gambler/liar. So he's always good to disappear when you need him and make shit up. Sometimes to explain where he's been other times to just try to be your buddy cause he's lonely.

He has rotted teeth partially from pounding coffee, smoking, and oh yeah crack. But he said it's cause back in the day he didn't brush his teeth. He instead would chew ice. Cause the edges would scratch away the plaque and then he'd be fine!

It's not actually his dumbest one but it's the one that is the easiest to get out without too much explanation.