Paranoid Theories.

[Cyanist]

Due to the pesky reappearance of 'boob' threads, I have created this random one on the spot. (You see my desperation, right?)
Yesterday, a sudden buzz emanating from my cellphone disturbed my morning tea. I stared into the face of the device and saw an unfamiliar number. I am limited on minutes now, so that means I should ignore this one, right? Wrong. It means nothing. The number could belong to my half-sister (no, her other half isn't alien), whose obscure number I purposefully wiped from my memory. In the end I let it go, but this has been happening to me an awful lot lately, so I came up with a theory:
Perhaps the cellphone companies pay people to randomly call these 'minute plan' numbers so that the minutes run out more quickly, so that the people buy more minutes. (a-and that's why I called it "paranoid" theories, kay?)
Do you have paranoid theories? Do people you know have them? Either way, throw 'em here!

[Alpha]

I think alien life exists because the Universe is infinite. Could be intelligent, but humans haven't even got that, so there's no precedent.

[Cyanist]

This one has been ground into me by mommy-dearest: Every fence that falls in a windstorm, every nosy visitor and, yes, every dog turd on your lawn is a Realtor trick meant to scare you off your property.

[Xanatos]

The universe's way too vast for us to be the only intelligent life form outthere, that and I've seen X-Files way too many times.

EDIT: goddammit, I choose the wrong option while voting.

[Clint]

Aliens exist because the moon doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense why the moon is there. It doesn't seem to be doing anything other then sitting there, so it doesn't make sense.

That is probably because the moon is a space station, harboring the aliens who originally placed the original life form on earth, and who control our every move. We are slaves to them, and in a sense, they are slaves to us. For without us, they have no more purpose to exist. However, without them, we cannot continue to exist.

[pixergirl]

you know how when your socks sometimes get lost in the dryer? well it's because there is a wormhole in the back of the dryer that only opens up into a portal to an alternate happy-free-sock dimension once the door of the dryer has been shut. yaaaaaaaaaaah.

[Cyanist]

Don't be silly, Pix, the woolen don sock has ordered his muscle to construct a swanky club and he charges big time for admission, we're talking millions of lint spores per head.

[saio]

i would like to inform you before hand that i am a very paranoid person
that said let us begin
i believe huge brand name electronics company's make it so that their product
breaks down every year or so
that way they can continue to "repair" your product every year
its true i bought a brand new sony handicam and every 9-12 months i had to
bring it back to the "geek squad" to have it "repaired"
eventually i just gave up on it and bought a 7 year old jvc cam at a flea market and "surprisingly"
i haven't had any problems yet
i also have a fear that someones going to jump out at me from the shadows
to counteract this i keep my house as dark as possible

[Catalana]

I don't believe they exist ... I only believe what I see and what I'm sure is right ! And with the aliens I never saw an UFO on my all life so now I don't think there are little green men who will come on the earth to colonize it
After, nothing more surprises me xP So if one day I am walking in the street and see an odd shadow in the sky I would surely think that it's the army or my imagination ...
We don't solve all the mysteries around us and don't discover all the things of the universe yet

[pixergirl]

cyberdyne is going to create killer robots that will kill all the humans and take over the world O_O

[Rowan]

Its not paranoid to believe that something could exist. If we are talking about aliens then I would think that we would be incredibly arrogant to believe that we are the only life in existence and anyone who claims that would have to back up their claims with evidence. This isn't like an argument about god, we can have a proper discussion about this. The main argument I would use to justify the life of anything is the life of ourselves. If we are able to live, why couldn't there be other life besides us? I would imagine these kind of arguments wouldn't last long before you start getting spoonfed BS theories about how WE got here in the first place.

[Pete]

Has no one here played Mass Effect?

I'm not saying it's likely, but I wouldn't be shocked if there were other civilizations out there. We'd be pretty arrogant to think otherwise.

On the other hand, I don't think that said aliens are conspiring against just one person here to creates some shit luck. It's not aliens, it's just someone who misdialed.Just like dog shit is from bad neighbors, and fallen fences from the posts not being buried deep enough or anchored with some concrete.

Nosy neighbors, shotguns scare them off.

I believe in Murphy's law though. When it rains it pours, and when shit goes wrong, it'll get worse before it gets better. Mostly because when shit starts to go wrong, you start to get wrapped up in the bad and let it slide into worse.

Otherwise, no conspiracies for me.

[Order]

i believe huge brand name electronics company's make it so that their product
breaks down every year or so

I had two Hitachi laptops, one right after the other, which I handled very carefully and protected with my life.
Both stopped recognizing the CD drive at the two year mark, then a USB mouse, then the keyboard.
It was too coincidental for me to believe they were not built with the intention of it happening. I am too educated on software, hardware and troubleshooting for the cause of the failures to be a complete mystery to me.

I will never buy Hitachi products again.

[Cyanist]

Ah, just in case anyone was connecting the two, I don't necessarily think the belief in aliens is paranoid, I just included that poll because I happened to be reminded of them at the time. (X-files will do that to people - yeah!)

Paranoid theory incidentally having nothing to do with aliens: What if area 51 is just filled with Nikola Tesla's inventions, the plans for many of which were stolen shortly after his death?