Neither A Borrower, Nor A Lender Be

[Kilala]

Lending and borrowing. Borrowing and lending.

The two most frustrating things in the world... well maybe just one of them <<;; Lending.

So I'm steamed, I leant 3 PS3 games to a fellow student here. Why? They bugged me for 5 weeks by knocking on my door at 1am and calling my phone all the time... so I caved. Now it is the last week and I'm trying to get them back... and no sign. In fact the guy has vanished off of the face of the earth. I am SO ANNOYED ;;.

Due to this experience and many others I hate to lend out my stuff... but I also don't want to be mean. I trust people to give things back, but when they don't I get so frustrated an all. Like when I borrow something I make sure that I give it back safely... some people are so inconsiderate.

So yes. What are your thoughts on lending and borrowing? Anyone else had/having any bad experiences?

[Xanatos]

Anyone else had/having any bad experiences?

To many to count, that's way I only lend stuff to people I can trust. I had a "friend" who had decency to ask me if I would lend him few games right after he returned the previous ones I borrowed him scratched and in broken cases. And there was that guy who never returned the movies I borrowed him, these are just few example out of million.

I myself don't like to borrow from others, only if I really need like in emergency situation.

[Zargabaath]

I rarely borrow something from anybody and if I do it would be from someone I know.

As for lending it's kind of the same I don't lend much out; then again, nobody really comes to me asking to borrow something. As for lending any of my videogames - especially a FF - or any of my books I am very tight on those; I must know the person a great deal. I treat my books and games with utmost care and I don't want anybody screwing them up. I must know that they'll take good care of the book/videogame while it is in their possession.

As for what happened to you Kilala, I would have kept it real and told the "bugger" to back off - except it would have been a lot more mean than that, especially since they kept pestering you. So what if he thinks you are mean; he's a fellow student, not a friend - his opinion shouldn't matter. Kick a$$ and don't take names because whoever they are, are meangingless to you.

But if you do find this fella make sure to grind him.

[Unknown Entity]

I lent my brother Crisis Core last year. I only saw it again last week, in a box of his junk, and without its case. -_-

I don't mind lending things to people, but I expect whatever it is back in the condition it was in when it was taken. Unless it's money... then I expect shiny coins and/or crisp notes. xD;

As for when I borrow other peoples stuff? I take care of it, and make sure I don't damage it. It always gets placed somewhere where it'll be safe too - like the top shelf in my wardrobe.

[Ryu-Kentoshii Hirokima]

OMG, I Know Just How You Feel Big Sis...I HATE Lending My Games Or Anything In General, Cause After A While, Even If You Haven't Used It In A Long time, You Might End Up Wanting To Use It...But You cannot, Cause Its In The Hands Of Someone Else...Grrrrhhhh!!!!

X< (

[Fate]

I've always been a paranoid person (an optimistic paranoid person, haha! xD) so I worry if I lend something it's going to get ruined, damaged, destroyed, et cetera. So I tend to avoid lending as much as possible. In fact, I can't remember the last time I lent something. xD I stick with what's mine; I think other people should stick with what's theirs. If it's a game or console or something that they'd like to use while at my house, by all means. But if they wanna take it with them, God, no. XX

Although, I do recall my cousin with a kind of amusing story years and years ago. His brother borrowed a game from a friend and in turn lent him one of his games. While playing the game, his brother loved it. By the time the other game had come back, it was time for them to send back the game they borrowed, too. But this was for the N64, I think, so one of them swapped the data thing inside the two games, sent back the "borrowed" one, and kept the game they wanted. xD

[Ryu-Kentoshii Hirokima]

That Is Exactly How I Feel Fate...Exactly...I'm Affraid Of It Getting Ruined Or Damaged Because Some People Don't Take Good Care Of Their Stuff...I Hate It...Oh Well. I Will Tell You My Story When I Get Back Home Or Something.

[che]

So don't lend your shit out.

It's not being "mean". Being mean is begging to borrow something.

[Dodie16]

^ Heh. That's getting to be me right there. The whole "not lending things" part. I've lent out all kinds of things over the years, only to never see them again: Books, movies, games, clothes...

I think I'm going to start some sort of "trade system". If you want something of mine, then give me something of yours of equal value as collateral. Once I get my possession back, you get yours back as well. Everyone wins.

[Victoria]

What if they give you a piece of shit they don't need or want anymore as collateral? Then you're boned because they have something cool (your thing) and you're stuck with shit they don't like anymore (their thing.)

[Zargabaath]

What if they give you a piece of shit they don't need or want anymore as collateral? Then you're boned because they have something cool (your thing) and you're stuck with shit they don't like anymore (their thing.)

Well I would assume that Dodie would make sure that it has value to the person or at least value to her. That way if they do try to bone her, she will have something she sees as equal value to what she lent out. Who knows, maybe whatever thing they give that they don't like could be even more awesome to Dodie than what she lent out; she would keep that on the down-low that way they don't try to switch it up.

[Dodie16]

I would hope that the person in the trade agreement wouldn't do that to me, but I suppose it could happen. Also, I would be able to judge beforehand if I would even want to accept their offer, and if the item up for trade isn't what I think is worthy enough, then I can say no.

EDIT: Heh. Zarg replied before I did...

[GypsyElder]

I don't mind lending my things to people as long as I know they'll give it back when I need it and in the same condition I lent it to them. I hate when I let someone borrow something and they take forever to give it back even after I remind them trillions of times, it makes me think they're trying to steal it and hoping I forget about it.

One thing, I let my friend borrow my PS2 controller, the only one I have -_- and she was all shady about giving it back. When I finally got it back it was a disaster. It's like the controller got ran over by a car, I'm not even kidding. The rumble feature was weak and hardly worked and the chord had scrapes... no idea what happened to it.

I didn't bother bringing it up because I decided to save her the trouble of thinking of an excuse.

[winterborn86]

I don't like to borrow off people, because if something happened to the item, like it was damaged, I would feel awful. I borrow books from the library and panic all the time about the kids ruining the books.
I have NEVER borrowed money either, I don't know why but I just can't do it, I can't borrow money, even when I was living on my own with a poor income, barely getting by and my parents kept offering money to me, I could never accept it.

As for lending money, I often lend money to my other half cos I know he will pay it back, when he gets paid.
It's funny this thread has come about, as I'm having issues with lending money to my sister. Quick run down of the situation is, she was homeless, bf kicked her out, couldnt go back home, had no money. YMCA re-home her at one of their hostels, have no money til Friday, hasn't eaten since Sunday. She calls me out of the blue asking for money, I can hear her druggy bf in the back ground, so I lie and tell her I have no money because I don't know if she really needs ot, or its actually her bf that need it to feed his habbit. I felt I had no choice but to lend her money yesterday as, he gave her a lift to mine and wanted petrol money for it, if I had refused he would of made her walk to mine with a heavy bag in the pouring down rain.
So bottom line is when it comes to me lending money, is that it depends on the situation. I wont lend money if I suspect it is being wasted. Sorry I rambled a tiny bit.

[Cheesevixen]

No bad experience so say. I saw how other people reacted to those two things and completely averted myself to my own personal solution. I either GIVE or I don't.

I hear "lenders" complain about how people use them so badly. I didn't want to be one of those people so I made it a point not to LEND my things. Every once in awhile I will make an exception to that rule, but it's always after very careful consideration.

As far a borrowing......I don't borrow things from people. Point blank. If anyone forces a polite gesture towards me I do pay them back out of courtesy, but I never ask. Nor do I allow others to believe I OWE them anything. I stray away from people like that.

Im not a cold person. I just don't put myself in the path of drama.

[loaf]

I don't have anything really worth borrowing. MY GBA SP is at someones house though, guess I did let someone borrow something. Need to get that back. The last thing I borrowed was the FFVII strat guide so i know what each monster morphs into.

[Sinister]

I lent a collector's version of Denkwürdigkeiten eines Nervenkranken(Memoirs of My Nervous Illness) to a friend and he actually lent it to one of his friends and now it's disappeared off the face of the earth. T'was a 200 dollar book. I don't mind so much because I'm a pretty laid back guy, but I'll be damned if I let him borrow so much as a match now.

I lend only to people that I'm really tight with... These days that accounts for about three people. I'd rather buy people the stuff of mine they want to borrow than let them borrow it. Bad experiences, y'know.

-Sin

[che]

I'd rather buy people the stuff of mine they want to borrow than let them borrow it.

What is the point of that? Lol.

[Fate]

What is the point of that? Lol.

That way they get what they want, but you don't have to lend them what you wouldn't lend. You do need to waste some money, yes, but hey, it's better than them annoying the hell out of you every second to get you to lend something to them. Ongoing pestering with the, "Oh, come on, you gotta let me borrow that," "I'll be careful," "Please," and such get extremely annoying. XX

[RagnaToad]

Man. I lent the dvd of the entire first season of the original The Office to some guy in my year two years ago. After a while I wanted it back, and he claimed he already gave it back. I am certain he did not. Now we never see eachother anymore.

I seem to forget where my DVDs go easily. The other day I was counting my DVDs and trying to remember who I lent the missing ones too. I believe I have them all back now.

I hate it when people borrow stuff and don't treat it how you would treat it. I'm not afraid to lend stuff though. I like lending CDs to people so they can discover new stuff they might really like.

[Sinister]

What do you mean? It saves all the awkward bullshit that ends in losing a friend. You've never lost a friend because they lost something you let them borrow? They avoid you...it's like having someone owe you money, you feel like a loan shark. Not that it's something that I would have the wallet power to do, but it's tempting.

-Sin

[Taco-Calamitous]

Yeah, I've loaned crap that I've never gotten back before. The worst was Earthbound and a couple other games to this one friend. He paid me back $50 for all three of them... but now Earthbound is worth $90, and I paid like a third of that for it originally This same friend also borrowed a CD from me and then claimed he didn't have it-that he borrowed it from someone else. Well, while we were looking for some other disk he was either loaning me or was mine, we came across my copy of that CD. The awesome part was that he was just like "Oh. There it is. Whatever. I said I didn't have it, but now that we see it with my stuff, I'm not going to so much as apologize to you or anything." The kicker is I'm not even sure if I remember loaning it to him, or if he just "borrowed" it without asking.

But, I still loan stuff out to people. Mostly because most my friends are trustworthy, awesome people. I also don't have qualms with borrowing things. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Merlin]

I've always grown up with the "Don't Trust Anyone" policy and it is a lifesaver. If you even watch one episode of Judge Judy you'd know that even your own family is untrustworthy and the freaking court of law is against you. You can't even sue someone and hope to get your stuff back. All they have to do is claim that it was a "gift" and you are shit out of luck.

People can think I'm an ass all they want to. I'm not letting you borrow my car... I'm not letting you borrow my $100+ mint condition Xenogears and no, you can't even borrow my baking pan.

The last one was an interesting case. My former roommate attempted to borrow my Wilton baking pan to take a cake to his job. He didn't even ask, he just assumed I'd be OK with it since it's just a baking pan. Um no? I don't need a bunch of strangers tearing it up with random utensils, or having it left at work and forgotten. He's not exactly the type of person who remembers things well. Just the other day he "forgot" to inform me that the FBI was going to show up and ask me questions about him for a clearance. How do you "forget" to tell someone the FBI will be dropping by?

So yeah, call me Smeagol, but all my shit is mine. Go find your own.

[Meier Link]

I don't lend. Simple as that. If someone wants to borrow one of my games, movies, ect they have to be willing to trade something of equal value. I have been burnt in the past and it is very annoying. I lost half my anime collection at one point because I let a best friend borrow them for the weekend and turn around that Monday he picked up and moved to California boxing up my anime and taking it with him.

As for borrowing I work off the same principle. I won't borrow with out offering up something in exchange.

Now I only give people one shot.

For instance I let a guy borrow Silent Hill: Homecoming in exchange he let me borrow Heavy Rain. I ended up buying Heavy Rain for him (woot woot for trade in value, only spent $24). When I ended up getting the game back from him the game had smudges and gunk stuck to it.

He burnt his bridge by returning the game back to me like that and will no long be able to borrow games from me. I might sound like a douche but I spent good money on that item and to give it back in any worse shape then it was when I lent it is bad form. Given it was easy to clean up but he SHOULD OF DONE IT!