Quote Originally Posted by OceanEyes28 View Post
I really appreciate you wanting to better understand. I'm struggling with it a bit, myself, actually, because I'm disappointed in my recent reaction to being touched when I didn't want to be. I totally accommodated it, just gave a stiff smile and let this dude go in for a hug. I asked myself why I didn't tell him to please not touch me, and I think I've worked some of that out.

I was alone, and it was a man I didn't know. Risk/reward governed my actions a bit, because while a hug made me uncomfortable, I could put up with it. If I put up with it, it would be over, and there would be no confrontation. This guy was obviously already pushy, and I wasn't sure how he would react to being rebuffed. I just went with the option that seemed safer. I don't like that it happened, and I'm frankly embarrassed. I feel like I was intimidated into accepting physical contact that I did not want, whether or not that was his intention. He didn't ask first; he didn't care. So, yeah, that happens a lot. And it was probably what was happening with your bartender (plus she was at work, which is like a hostage situation because you don't want to get fired). Women can get beaten or murdered for rejecting the wrong guy, and while we know it's not likely, most of us are aware of it all the time.
It's interesting hearing your concerns because as a man I have no intention or ever had a thought of doing anything like that. At the same time, now I'm becoming aware that I'd be much more afraid of a drunk guy rather than a drunk girl. Honestly, I feel like you chose the right option in those cases, and I would have done the same. The only time I can relate is when being and drunk another man wanted to beat me up. It's my advantage that they somehow announce it through body language, or vocally usually when you really haven't done anything to them.

One time a guy tried really hard to get me to come "outside" by repeatedly saying "let's talk about it". I almost did. But I would have probably lost that fight, considering he was about 2x the size of me. I'm glad you are so aware of women and their issues, I do think there should be someone like you for men. Maybe even preventative, though I think this will always happen. There are bad people out there, and times are not ever right. People who feel like they need something now, the urges of being a human being, all of this stuff, it's too complex. Though I might agree the women are at a disadvantage, everyone should really look out for signs of these things and keep it safe.