Drunk Memories

[Taco-Calamitous]

Hey y'all. I am barely able to type right now (It was hard enough typing the title of this thread, I am already so far gone) but what are your favorite drunk stories pertaining to yourself? Tonight I jumped off a roof onto a trampoline.... twice. That's the kind of night I'm having. I don't want to drink anymore, so I'm hiding. I think I may have hurt my arm. heh.

So here's a story; one night, a guy told me to chug a bottle of vodka for 5 seconds. So I did. Then he told me to do it again. So I did. I had various other drinks, then another guy told me to chug the bottle again. So I did. Then I was caught on camera wearing a wig, singing, "This is the hair I always wanted! BITCH!" and this was to my father. And I told the camera operator, "my father will never see this." And then we went to a bar, where I was still wearing the wig, and I told the bouncer, "This isn't my real hair; this is a wig." And I couldn't figure out why he was laughing at me. Seriously. And I am drunk right now, I think. And I think other people are trying to convince other people to jump off the roof. That is awesome. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Dr_Flea]

ROFL being Drunk is FUN FUN FUN!!!

Ive done the whole juming off the roof thing except i jumped off the roof into a pool

The best night for drunken storiesd was when i first ever got drunk.

Story No. 1
There were to girls dancing on two different podiums sooo i just had to yell out to my mate "Hey dude if you took that ones head and put it on that ones body you would have one Hot looking bird...........but what about the other cration*Shudders*" Needless to say i got some dirty looks from the women of the establishment

Story No. 2
was leaving Afore mentioned establishment at the same time some random stranger was leaving. of course being drunk i was feeling rather friendly and started chatting away to this guy. At the time i was trying to become friends/more than friends with this girl who happened to be a christian to which i explaind to the guy andhe cameout with this phrase.
"Christian chicks just want to get ****ed like everyone else" Needless to say i was in Histerics

Story No.3
As walways drink too much and you need to pee and being a man the world is my urinal.
Anyway i needed to pee i was absolutely shitefaced and no one would let me in. soooo i climed over this concrete fence thing and dropped down and did my business jumped back up and thought nothing of it!!
However i went back to the Nature urinal and though how the hell did i not break my legs for the dropp was preetty Big .,.and then the big question...how the hell did i get back up!!!

So yeh..there areother experiences which i may share later

~Dr_Flea~

[Storm]

The craziest thing i've done is kiss one of my girl mates. It may not sound too odd until I say first of all that i'm straight, and that about 5 minutes before I told a lesbian that was trying to chat me up and touch my leg that I don't do women. And she was there when I kissed my mate!

I also went to the beach with one of my male friends late at night. We found a hole someone had dug so we got inside it and he dared me to down my 2l malibu and coke (which by that point was about 1l). I did... and an hour or so later the security people came by to make sure we hadn't fallen asleep on the beach. My friend tried to talk the situation cool, but I was going on about them being really nice for looking after us and all that!

I never get myself rat-arsed, I just get very happy. No hangover the next morning, no vomiting. Bonus!

[RamesesII]

Drunk stories so many to choose from, the good old days.

Started off drinking at home as my mates and i always did to save money down at the clubs i think we were drinking since we knocked off work that afternoon, anyway we headed out about 10pm and went pub crawling and stopped at one of the pubs for a bit, sent one of the blokes to go get us some drinks from the bar while we went and sat down in the beer garden.
Mate came back with no drinks saying they wouldn't sell us anymore saying we were to drunk (which was so true) and could only have water, and being drunk that's the last thing you want to hear so my mates and i started to go off when one of the security guards came over and said we have to drink water or leave the premises so we said f*** this we're off so we left. Little did i know that the security guard contacted the other security guards around town over his radio to tell us not to let us in (just to clarify now i was so far gone that most of this story had to be explained to me the next day)
Anyway we rocked up to the next club standing in line trying to stand up straight waiting for the bouncers to check id etc, now usually when we thought we were to drunk to get in to clubs we had a system that the drunkest of the group would stand in line first and if he didn't get in then we would leave and come back later but for some reason we didn't do it this time anyway my friends went in and i was last in line, i handed over my id trying so hard to act sober the bouncer looked me up and down looked at my id than said 'sorry mate can't let you in apparently there was some trouble at another place by you' and told me to sit down over on a garden wall. Me being so drunk, was ignorant to the fact that the other security guard had described my mates and i over the radio so the other bouncers would recognise us but some how this bouncer only recognised my description and not my mates.
So the night went on and finally my mates came out to see where i was and asked what was wrong, I am usually not an aggressive drunk but this night was different and i started to go off and cause a scene calling the bouncers bad names at the top of my lungs, this went on for a few minutes and finally the bouncer had had enough he stepped over the little red rope and pushed me off into the garden which i found out the next day by the s**t load of cuts and scratches that it happened to be a rose garden.
I hoped up and he pushed me back again any we played this game a couple more times until i had enough and stood up and said what the hell do you think you are doing but in a much nastier way... boy did he go psycho it took two bouncers to pull him back and my mates where pulling me back so i didn't get my head smashed in not that i was trying to start a fight as drunk as i was being 60kg i knew i had no chance with a six foot 110kg brute in my state so we finally settled down and parted our ways anyway the night went on uneventful lmao. I remembered later that night that the security guard did describe us and realized the the other bouncer was right not to let me in, but at the time i really believed he had the wrong bloke so in all my innocence i went off becaus i didn't think i had done anything wrong.

The next day i was told everything and how i was so lucky not to be in hospital from a king hit or something like that and was getting calls from people that were in the line watching the commotion lol I dont think that same security guard ever remembered me.

[Sean]

I don't typically do really really crazy shit when drunk...

I once called a black guy I work with a ******, apparently. I dont' recall having ever done so... but supposedly I did.

I think about the worst thing I ever did was come home at 7AM, stumble down the side of my house, throw up, stumble in the front door, collapse on the kitchen floor (falling backwards) crawl to the front door and throw up on my porch, and pass out on my kitchen floor. The fall wound up causing a pilonidal cyst to form at the base of my spine.

=D

My alcohol tolerance has gone up a lot since then... I don't ever puke unless I just smoked way too many cigarettes that night, but lately I'm pretty good about knowing when it's time to put the smokes away.

[Sinister]

Typically, I'm a boring drunk. Usually I'm the exact same either way...quiet and calm. As such, I don't do a lot of memorable things intoxicated.

I do remember after drinking several glasses of Absinthe, playing Battlefront II online without a headset and having a fellow teammate jump up and down, trying to tell me something. I sat there trying to distinguish his serenade of gesticulations for around ten minutes. I remember becoming irritated as he followed me and continued jumping up and down and waving. So I just turned and gunned him down.

-Sin

[Chickenballz]

This title is truly a moron of oxys.


I like to visit friends in the wee hours of the morn but that is not drunk me that is usual me too. THE DRINK CHANGES NOTHING.

[Lunasa]

Well, I haven't partied at all this semester(I find it pointless. I had my Hoorah last semester. Sides, drinking never made me feel good.) Only ever got drunk thrice, despite having a low tolerance.

Story #1:
First time drunk. Got the worst off of it. Was your typical wall girl. I actually was hugging and dancing with some girl on a chair. Kinky. Then, I couldn't stand. Fun times. Then, I got hit on by this guy, went for like a half hour walk with him. He sadly didn't rememeber the night. I only sorta remembered the night. Sorta of. I remember things happening, but I forgot what order. Can't really hold my liquor. Lolz.

Story #2:
Went to a bar with two guys. BAD MISTAKE. Well, I actually sorta had fun. Some guy was hitting on me once again. Though, I thought it would be amusing to pretend I was drunk for a bit and call him Frank, instead of his real name: Matt. Then, the alcohol kicked in. Blammo! I might have believed that his name was actually Frank. Almost got him kicked out according to him. Then, I yelled at a couple of 16 year olds for chalking their IDs. Proceeded to say hi to every pole that I almost walked into(which may have been a good 75% of them). I was completely wasted. Again. Lolz. Had an altercation with "Frank" about how he couldn't hit on me when I was sober the next morning. He claimed he could but the day after, cue end of semester. Which means a month break. Which also means that I never saw "Frank" again.

Story #3, which is the day after Story #2, but in the same location as Story #1:
It took me one and half to get drunk this time. But it was hilarious. I didn't remember half of it, but I danced. Alot. My friends brought me home cause I made a huge shit about it and was crazy.

Actually, despite these experiences, I really didn't like partying because not controlling my actions is kind of scary. I kind of did it cause I was depressed, y'know. But some good friends bring you a long way.

[Cheesevixen]

I am your average Texas Drinker. I drink mostly vodka, crown, and on a special occasion I enjoy champagne. It's takes quite a bit to get me drunk so I don't have very many stories.

First off every time I drink I go stripper......meaning I find a pole or a railing somewhere and dance very erotically while taking off a few articles of clothing. Knowing this I usually bring a small jacket or something of that nature to take off. The bar I go to regularly knows me because I used to waitress there.Therefore they they let me get away with a little more than the average girl. plus I usually walk out with tips from the casual nights drinking. The ONLY time this habit got out of hand was last years December. I was dancing on the rails when a stranger approached me for a lap dance. I would usually decline, but my guy friend offered to watch me. So I went to a less populated part of the bar and gave said lap dance. After the lap dance he offered me 100.00 for a repeat session. I declined for personal reasons, but it is an offer that will stick with me for a very long time. Needless to say...no more lap dances for this babe.

When I was younger I had just begun my adventures in drinking. I was also kind of stupid, and very hot so I got into a lot of trouble. one indecent for instance; I was at a party with a couple of guys. Somehow I agreed to play strip poker that night knowing full well I have never touched a deck of cards in that manner in my life. Needless to say the night went on. The game ended shortly with me holding my naked girl parts in my hands. At which time the boys decided to play for my hand removal. I somehow talked them out of it, and we ended up doing body shots the rest of the night.


Most of my drinking has led to sex in public places (parks, apt. pools, apt. showers, back of restaurants), irresponsible driving (Fell asleep at a gas station), but never a hang over, and never a ticket. I soon learned how to control myself better(Not Kissing my girlfriends anymore). However with my experiences I have taken the good with the very bad. Yes drinking is fun and I cant wait to get back to it, but I am happy to have grown out of it a bit.

As for my bachlorette party I had to witness my friends getting wasted while I watched. Never had I known what I really looked like until then. I am very happy to be out of the dating scene, but oddly enough anxious to get back to the girls night out. No use in them making fools of themselves all by themselves.

[Unknown Entity]

Heh. Very rare I do get drunk, seeing I'm at home when I do consume any alcohol. Apparently, according to a few people who have seen me drunk, I'm friggin' hilarious. Not in a... making a fool out of my self way, but I can make everyone laugh.

Can't remember when it was - actually, I think it was last New Years Eve, my brother was showing off how tall he was, and that he could touch the ceiling in our flat. I tried, and couldn't, and so did my mum. So... my mum decided to lift me up to touch the ceiling. How she picked me up kind of hurt - fron under the ribs - so I screamed, which made my mum jump, and next thing I know we are on the floor gigglling our arses off. My step-dad had to help us both up. We were laughing so hard... so hard in fact, when I woke up the next day my stomach muscles were hurting. Well, and everything else did - I wacked my head on the floor, my shin hit the table and my arms had carpet burn.

Okay, maybe I do... make a fool of myself after all.

This was at some point last year... I remember writting about it in my journal. I beat everyone on some game on a dance mat. On hard mode. While so drunk, I could have been convinced to jump out of the living room window. I know I beat everyone because I remember my brother (who was totally sober), threw a strop for being beaten by a drunk. ^^

AND I've never had a hangover!

Heh. ^^

[rJ floW]

I once robbed a homeless guy of his mask....aka possibly his only possession...cause he asked me for a dollar

Moral of the story, dont ever try to ask me for a dollar, unless you wanna get ganked!

PS..i cant believe this damn site is still up!

[Pete]

I have way too many stories, so I'll just leave highlights.

Kicked out of 3 bars. Once for playing 'freebird' on the jukebox 3 times in a row, and twice for almost fighting.

Pissed on pretty much everything and anything, and out of several windows.

Threw bottles out of my car to try to hit road signs.

Collapsed my ceiling dancing in the attic.

Offered crack cocaine in a Price Chopper. Did not accept

Had conversations with crackheads who thought I was someone else. Hilarity ensued.

[Rocky]

I've had my fair share of drunken escapades, but I think last halloween was a pretty memorable time, so I'll explain that.

A few of my younger (high school senior) friends were going to have a drinking party, and costumes were required. I found some sick reggae gear and went as Bob Marley, so after doing the pre-game beers at home, I got to the party and got ready to party. That night I had the mindset of a true winner and I was stopping at nothing for going all out and having a great time, so my friends were making some caribou lou in the kitchen, and I had the first few cupfulls downed pretty fast, I kept them back there full time lol. Afterwards, my friends started playing flip cup, however, I called them a bunch of pussies because they were drinking beer instead of the caribou, and I was the only one doing that. I told them I wouldn't play anchor unless the other team had someone to down the caribou with me, so my friend got his dad on the other team to challenge me. He was pretty damn good, and he must of been some kind of frat boy back in the day because he knew how to flip them cups, lol. After that, we said our good games, and I milled about in the party. The dad kept giving me respect knuckles whenever I saw him, it was pretty awesome. After raiding the kitchen and eating and drinking all kinds of shite, I was pretty messed up, as I accidently confused a person dressed up as a ghost with a Klan member, and hit from him in the kitchen for a good 20 minutes. While I was hiding, I caught a friend of mine (who had a bf at the time) making out with some random guy there. I stood up and yelled "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and ran out of the room laughing my ass off. I guess whenever I saw her at the party I tried to push her nose and making honking noises, like she was a clown or something, idk. After that,I had to convince my one friend that I was the leader of the aztecs and I demanded the finest brazilian porn available. That dad dude showed me some crazy porno videos on the computer until he got brought upstairs by his wife, and shortly after that I passed out.

The next day was not so fun. I got a text like at 7am from some girl that I work with that had no idea what she was doing. The text was in all pink, and before I read it I got all pissed off and said "wtf is this shit?" and deleted it, heehee. Once I got to work, the kid I worked with was mostly in the mood for playing computer games, and like every 10-15 minutes I was in the bathroom, trying to get rid of my terrible hangover.

Drinking is so fun.

[Sean]

Let's see....


Tonight I drank 4 beers at work, showed up to a bar feeling a buzz after 3 cigarettes and 4 beers... met my best friend at said bar, talked shit all night with him about food, cooking etc...

Got really drunk, talked food with the exec sous chef of a hotel in Downtown St. Louis, talked shit with said exec sous chef... was offered a job by said exec sous chef....

Came home, apologized to my ex girlfriend for my deplorable behavior last night that I woke up regretting, explained things to her, obtained final closure, and canceled my WoW account.

Talked with some friends via facebook, drank about 4 bottles of water because I have to go exercise tomorrow and don't really want a hangover, pissed every 10 minutes for about two hours straight, and listened to random Soundgarden/Audioslave songs all night.


These are my usual drunken endeavors.