The OldBean Show (spinoff)

[Alice]

Are you all scared that the most probably currently dumb series finally gets a spin-off. Oh no! Well, sorry, but this is a hobby of mine, so, meh.

This first episode is just an introduction. It isn't very good. I know. But I have to do something. You're wondering why I released OB2 chpt 5 along with this? Well, if you actually read it, it should be obvious! Now enjoy, or suffer. Depends if you're a OB hater.

Comments topic for OBShow:
The OldBean Show comments topic (spinoff)

Comment in the comments topic and ONLY IN THE COMMENTS TOPIC. Okay? I don't want people randomly hijacking my threads...

--Ep 1, The Beginning of the Era of Idiots--


OldBean was sitting on his couch, starting at the TV.
"This is crazy news, reporting crazy news!" said the dog on television. OldBean yawned, again, actually louder than usual. He might have actually burped.
"We got a crazy report of an old man that claims he's an old bean!"
OldBean widened his eyes.
"WEH? Oh wait...oh yeah...my name's a stereotype as well...I forgot..."
"Will you shut up, I'm trying to listen to my girlfriend on the phone here!" yelled Boda, the Yoda look alike from upstairs. He's blue, unlike Yoda.
"Yeah, your girlfriend who'll get you dumped in the next 15 minutes like they all do!" OldBean yelled back. He continued watching the news.
"THIS IS CRAZY NEWS, REPORTING CRAZY NEWS!"
OldBean changed the channel. He was now staring at a television show called 'Ask Mr. Cuddlebear'.
"Pfft, damn cheap rip-offs....why does everyone have to be like me?!?! WHY??!?!?!?
"Hey, shut up! She dumped me!" yelled Boda from upstairs.
"Congratulations, you've just reached the 30th mark!" bellowed back OldBean. Wasn't the guy ever gonna shut up for once?
He looked at his clock. The time was '3:10 pm'. This clearly meant that Gondour was gonna burst through the door claiming he's the new King of the World any moment now. And without further ado....
The door burst open.
"WHO YA GONNA CALL!?" the guy yelled. The house was full of yelling around this time. OldBean watched with boredom.
"GUESS WHAT DUDE?"
"What, dog bit your backside again?"
"Almost did, yeah! But I got promoted, again!"
"What, you're already the editor of the newspaper, what else you want, 500 grams of dog poo? It's not much to you, but it's worth it!"
"Haha, so funny...anyway, I got promoted to something else!"
"Elite recycler?"
"Nope. But recycling is good for the environment. I got promoted one number higher on the list of the smartest people alive! I used to be number 16, now I'm number one!"
OldBean almost snorted...well, somehow anyway. He decided not to tell Gondour that the list was actually called 'Dumbest People Alive'.
Oldbean looked at the clock again. It was two minutes more than last time. According to the timetable, Dennis would be bursting in any second now.
Dennis burst in. Bean couldn't believe how moronic people could be. He was right. He should've installed security guards at his front door. That'd stop people barging in.
"Bean, I've lost my wallet, again!"
"Will you all shut up!" OldBean shouted. "I need my rest, my relaxation, and all I get are some morons that don't even know how to climb up a small lego building!"
Everyone else was laughing, not at OldBean, but what was behind him outside the window. There was Marshal, just climbing up the OldBean's FBI Building, The OldBean...well, FBI. TOBF, for short. He had his cape on, and he was also wearing his red armour, and even his helm. But he wasn't acting like the legendary hero he was, just like his friends. He was acting like a moron.
"I'm a very daring person." said the distant echoing voice from the FBI.
They all stared at him from the window.
"Well, at least he recycles." shrugged Gondour.

Yes, I know, it's bad. I wasn't feeling well when I wrote this one a few days ago so, yeah. It pretty much isn't good. But nevertheless, I promise, I'll make ep3 better . And yes, that means I've already done ep2. >.>