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What's this about d&d? Would you like to play a game?
D&d
d&d d&d
d&d d&d d&d
d&d d&d d&d d&d
d&d d&d d&d d&d d&d
d&d d&d d&d d&d d&d&dd&d&d d&d&d &dd&d&d&d&d&d&d&d
Originally Posted by Andromeda
What's this about d&d? Would you like to play a game?
I am down for whatever, as long as it doesn't involve being locked in a death trap.
Last edited by Dodie16; 08-06-2012 at 07:32 PM. Reason: picture wasn't showing up...
Click at your own risk.:
You find yourselves at the bottom of a death pit/trap. It is unbearably humid. The stench of mold rapes your nostrils and dizzies you. In the faint torchlight you can make out an uneven brick wall and an old ladder, but everything else is darkness.
You hear the hiss and rattle of slithering death approach you. What do you do?
I SAID NO DEATH TRAPS!!! ><
Since the mold makes me dizzy, I don't think I wanna risk climbing the ladder. *readies Crystal Sword* Bring on the slithering death!
Click at your own risk.:
The snake slithers slowly out from the sinister shadows. It is a big ass snake. It shapeshifts, taking the form of a bald man with slit eyes.
"I am Moldyvort, the new evil wizard in town. You will be my bride or die."
You know you cannot beat Voldemort with your Crystal Sword, which is actually a sharpened piece of an expensive goblet you broke earlier. The fat cat at your side is telling you that it's time to get the **** out of Dodge.
"I thought Death traps were supposed to be cold." She thought as she sat in her newly found home. The fierce hiss of the snake came closer, but she slapped it aside with a rock she had found in a hasty attempt to find a weapon. It worked in her favour. She wondered why she didn't use her Ruby Sword for defense.
"Pfft. Dodie, if you want to get out of here, climb the damn ladder. Tele, can you convince her?" Yoko pleaded as she inspected the ladder.
[CENTER]
The one and ONLY Female member of CPC8 Makin' it HAPPEN!
Things!!:
Best RP:Final Fantasy Chronicles of Exigo~The Fall of Spira
Check it out. The Fall of Spira is finished!
Yoko awakens from her dream. If only it was more than just a dream. You have been held captive by Moldyvort at the top of a tower for many months now, and are one of his prospective wives/meals.
During your extended stay in one of his more comfortable dungeon bedrooms, you have found no immediate avenue of escape, and have taken to digging a hole in the wall with a copper spoon you managed to smuggle out after a meal with your captor (or Ruby Sword, as you had affectionately named it in a state of loneliness-induced hysteria). You needed to get out soon. It was said that Moldyvort consummated all of his marriages by laying eggs in the throats of his victims. You did not want to find out if the rumor was true.
"Moldyvort, why are you always predatoring on chicks? I'm gonna kick your butt! Not that I'm thinking of butts or anything..."
Crystal sword at the ready...and with a mighty cry I strike at the bald wizard dude.
"HEEEEIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Click at your own risk.:
Why I ought-ta........****ing S
"Snap out of it Yoko. You're thinking of your teammates again" She thought. She stared at the spoon she had just called a Ruby Sword. If only she had her weapons back. She was going bloody insane!
"Keep digging!" She thought as she prodded the wall with the spoon.
[CENTER]
The one and ONLY Female member of CPC8 Makin' it HAPPEN!
Things!!:
Best RP:Final Fantasy Chronicles of Exigo~The Fall of Spira
Check it out. The Fall of Spira is finished!
Moldyvort cackles as he dodges out of the way. "Foolish human, you can't defeat me!" He brandishes a piece of wood. "I possess the legendary wand of olde! The Ancient Twig! The Pain Pole! Now come quietly, and I may spare you the pain of a throat-burster at the hands of my hatchlings!"
He takes notice of the cat. "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PETS? I HAVE ALLERGIES." He raises his wand.
"Flushorius Lavatorium!"
The water beneath Cake's feet suddenly churns in a spiral violently. Cake is swept away into the depths of the death trap by a whirlpool, a distant echo of her surprised mews the only indication she was ever there.
"Now get out of the toilet, woman! I have my own business to attend to... yes, yes."
You hear the unmistakable sound of an unzipping of pants.
Yoko continues her relentless excavation and rampant destruction of the dark wizard's property.
As you dig, your copper spoon strikes a part of the wall with a hollow clang. On further inspection, you find that particular section to be rather fragile. With a little force, you could break it down, but you may cause a sort of cave-in...
Cake, NOOOOOOO!!!!!! Why did you do that?!?! She was my best friend and you flushed her!!! Prepare for some hurt, Moldy-dude....after I rescue my cat...and also after you put away your "wand".
*jumps in the poo water*
Click at your own risk.:
The Ice King had fallen.
In north Scandinavia born and raised
On an iceberg was where you spent most of your days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all playin with some some penguins outside of the igloo
When one specific guy
Who was up to no good
Startin making trouble in your neighborhood
You got in one little fight and got really scared
And said "I'm movin' with the rats in my underground lair"
Today you are playing with a particularly feisty rat (which would make for an excellent supper), when suddenly a cat reigns on your parade. You think the cat is here to steal your dinner until it cries out, "Fionna! Moldyvort's gonna throat rape Fionna!"
It is clear your fanfic waifu is in trouble.
"Oh what the hell! As if living underneath a giant toilet wasn't bad enough, now I gotta deal with cats dropping in on me and creepy noseless wizards raping my waifu?! That's it, I'm comin' up!"
The Ice King readies his ice attacks in his hands and flies towards the exit, ready to kick some ass.
Though Fionna tries, she cannot follow her friend. The death trap was one of those low-flush pits, with only enough water to carry the one hairy stool. You are sort of stuck halfway in now, an obstacle in the path of Moldyvort's homemade butterbeer. You'd better get out of the way...
Your knee socks become infused with poo and gain +1 Stink Damage.
Ice King moves forth to defeat the throat rapist!
But you can't really remember where he lived; a sure sign of senility in your old age. Perhaps you should ask the cat.
"Eh, uh, wha...?" Ice King Mutters as he flutters in the air a little beyond his doorway. He turns back to the cat that had just come out of his ceiling and asks, "Hey, cat person... which way do I go? This is really embarrassing for me... I'M OLD OKAY! DON'T JUDGE!" One of Ice King's ice attacks disperses from his hand on into the air, having flailed his hand in frustration.
"Urrgh, aghhh, ERRAAAHHHH!"
Fionna works her way back up the way she came. Stinking of poo and bitter defeat at her attempt to save her friend, she glares at the pervy wizard. Suddenly, an idea pops into her head.
"You wanna polish that "wand" so bad? Then CATCH THIS!"
Fionna throws her stink-infused stocking at Moldyvort.
Click at your own risk.:
Cake tells you the location of your ASCII waifu.
Just as she finishes her explanation in a hurry, an ice beam shoots out from your flailing arms and hits the cat square in the face. The ice quickly encases her in a living snow pony shell. Taking advantage of the situation, you mount her and ride off into the sewerset.
You find along the way that it has a rather obnoxious personality, and you dub it Sleety Pie after a character from your girly cartoons.
In short time you arrive in front of the castle. You are smelly, hungry, and rather weary. You don't think you'll be able to fly properly in this condition.
"Eh... fuh... so hungry..." Ice King mutters as he dismounts Steely Pie. "Lemme... lemme catch my breath... Steely Pie... okay. Here we go! I am marching right into that castle and saving my ASCII waifu! Right after I grab something to eat." And he better damn well have something to eat, or there'll be hell to pay, the Ice King thinks to himself as he staggers to the front of the castle, trying to regain his composure still.
Fionna casts her sock at Moldyvort.
Your sock hits him square in the face.
"Soiled foot garments... my only weakness!! GRAAARRGGGGHHH!"
His scream echoes throughout the poo chasm as his body turns to snake skin molt dust. You hear something small hit the water with a splash where his fooooo-ine red snake leather boots used to be (before turning to dust).
You ponder how a dirty sock could defeat the Dork Lord. A memory of some asshole floats the surface of your mind. A man is laughing at you from the other side of a mirror.
"Silly mudblood, Goblin-made kneesocks do not require cleaning! Goblins' thread repels mundane dirt, imbibing only that which strengthens it."
Perhaps you should save the sock for later.
Ice King enters the scary castle.
You set off for the dining room. Following Sleety Pie's cat-like nose, you find it in good time. A turkey is sitting on the table.
The Ice King pauses for a moment as he takes in the sight and smell of the turkey, his mouth watering with anticipation. After that brief moment, he launches himself at the turkey... but stops for a moment and ponders something. "Sleety-Pie, I really think you should take the first bite. You found this for me, and I'd hate to die...ne on the food that you found before you can try some."
Fionna slips her wizard-defeating poo stocking back on her foot and looks around the sewers. The faint light of the torch still glows dimly in the dark and illuminates the decrepit-looking ladder.
"Well, I guess this is really my only way out now... Better go up this biz. Don't wanna risk getting lost forever in these butt-gas sewers."
Click at your own risk.:
You for some reason fail to check and see if the turkey is dead or, for that matter, feathered. As your snow horse trots up to the bird for a bite, your bad pun awakens it from its slumber. SHINK!
Sleety Pie's head rolls and she falls to the ground. As the feline core is not harmed, however.
The turkey stands on the silver platter, a menacing 2 feet on its own, 5 perched on the table.
"Gobble gobble mother****er!"
He charges at you with his bloodied axe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXl-2hQPpbI
"Oh, come on! Can't a man enter a kitchen and expect his food to be dead already?!" The Ice King backsteps from the charging turkey, raises his hands, and shoots ice spikes at the turkey's abdomen. "When I get to Moldy-Mart or whatever his name is, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! Sleety-Pie, get up and help me!"
Fionna begins her ascent up the ladder.
About halfway up, your foot steps on a particularly rotten step and you go plummeting back down to the bottom of the urinal. You curse the ladder. The ladder curses your big smelly legs.
As you sit up, you feel something poking at your fat thighs.
Ice King skewers the turkey with a rather large icicle and flies off the side of the table. He falls, as if in slow motion, and hits the floor with a sickening crack. Disc 1 ends, and the turkey's story only goes downhill after that. There's no way it could have survived an ice spear to the heart, anyway.
Having vanquished the diabolical turkey, you feel so cool... chill... awesome right now. Sleety Pie, however, does not respond to your calls. You're going to have to do something...
Slightly bewildered at the sentient, but broken and therefore useless and dumb ladder, Fionna is even more bewildered by the object poking at her not that fat (though admittedly are kind of smelly) thighs. Fiona holds it up to the dim light to get a better look.
"What the heck even is this thing?"
Click at your own risk.:
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