how to find a nerd

[ultimatekupo]

I need some advice: Where is a good place to find myself a nerd? Someone who is "my type" I suppose. (into gaming, a reader maybe, intelligent...ect)? I always tend to pick up the exact opposite, I am thinking maybe I am not looking in the right places? I am not bad looking, but I am 18, so sometimes my problem is that I don't know what would stand out as a sign that I am of age, maybe a voting sticker?? (However I am soo sick of politics -_-) I usually meet people through my friends at the most random of places, and I am just starting to realize that my methods are failing me, and I don't have that many, I am the kind of person who has a few close friends as apposed to many, and I am usually extremely busy so I don't have much of a life. That is changing though and I am trying to move on and I am done feeling sorry for myself and just waiting for someone to come along so I am gonna try to be the girl that comes a long instead. Where do guys go to look for good girls? I figure finding the answer to that would be a good place to start. Coffee shops and book stores have failed me, I am not a club kinda girl... where do I go? O.O Thank you for your time.

[DragonHeart]

Go to a crowded place and yell something in Klingon (Elvish if you prefer fantasy)?

I'm actually a bit similar, I'm working full time, going to school and have fairly anti-social hobbies. I have two really good meatspace friends and a lot of acquaintances. I too am single. I'm still in the despairing stage though, mostly because I've too much going on right now to do anything about it heh.

Sounds like you're going to places solely to look for a relationship, and the problem with that is your desperation is going to show to anyone who talks to you.

The advice that was given to me, that I haven't put to use yet, is to go out and do shit. Go to concerts, go to the beach, the theater, go out and do whatever's fun and makes you happy. While you're there, talk to people, not just the hot girls. Make new friends. Eventually you'll be friends with a girl you really like and can go from there. Going around to places looking for a close/intimate relationship right off the bat is setting yourself up for either failure or the wrong kind of girl.

~DragonHeart~

[Rocky]

The advice that was given to me, that I haven't put to use yet, is to go out and do shit. Go to concerts, go to the beach, the theater, go out and do whatever's fun and makes you happy. While you're there, talk to people, not just the hot girls. Make new friends. Eventually you'll be friends with a girl you really like and can go from there. Going around to places looking for a close/intimate relationship right off the bat is setting yourself up for either failure or the wrong kind of girl.

~DragonHeart~

The only problem with this strategy DragonHeart is that ultimatekupo is a girl so idk how effective that it will be lol, unless you're into girls of course, which is totally cool too.

Scroll to the top of the forum, click the 6th option "members list", then pick your favorite letter. After that pick a random name and there you go. All in all we are all nerds in our own right.

Too bad this would work only if you were secretly every member on TFF <3

By saying that you're trying to stand out, you're doing the exact opposite of what you should be doing. Trying to do something that's not you in order to attract a guy shows two things: desperation and a lack of self-confidence. You should be confident enough to know that you can attract someone, and that you're good enough or cool enough to have them stick around for you, and not because they think they're gonna get laid after the first date. You should also be laid back in your approach, or else you'll seem clingy and desperate.

Real talk.

-----------
DOS:

*be adventurous
*try new things
*meet new people
*be passionate about your interests and actively persue them
*be openminded!

Do not:
*compromise being yourself for the sake of finding someone
*be clingy and/or desperate; being friendly is one thing but guys hate being hounded all the time by girls, even the hot ones like Jessica Alba (bitch kept calling me all hours of the night so I had to change numbers)
*have low self-confidence. If this is the case then I strongly suggest not even looking for a significant other until this is changed otherwise you are more likely to end up in a bad relationship.

You said you were extremely busy, what kind of things do you do outside of school?

[smurphy]

The thing about nerds is that they like to ridicule sh*t. And the only place they have the backbone to do that is online anonymously. So that doesnt help. Or if all else fails, just loiter around videogame/comic store haunts and you might get lucky.

But seriously, I can easily relate though. A few close friends and painfully single( its not that I dont meet people who are compatible, a category of people rare enough , its just that I cannot intake enough alchohol in enough time to do anything about it).

But you will meet people and hopefully someone compatible if you do stick your neck out as Dragonheart suggested. Places with alchohol helps as I find it loosens the tongue and helps counter any inhibitions with talking to people.

[Unknown Entity]

Define nerd.

I guess I'm the lucky one because my best friend is a gaming nerd. We just met at school in maths, and I commented on her jacket, she liked my bag, and that sparked a friendship. It can be something as silly as that to find someone who's "your type" (of friend, in this case. Unless that's what you mean).

Just make some... friends, I suppose. You're bound to bump into someone who plays video games somewhere because it's a large entertainment industry these days.

One thing I've noticed about girl gamers, is that they'll make games the absolute point of the first conversation they'll have with a guy, which even to me is off putting. Not because they're a girl gamer, but because it comes across as defensive and desperate. My friend's PSN info thing says "I'm a girl. AND WHAT?!" or something like that. It's embarrassing for girl gamers who are completely natural about it. >>

There's desperation too, as DragonHeart mentioned. Just make friends - you're eighteen (same as me! High-five! ), there's no hurry. You don't need a special someone on your arm if you've got friends on both arms.

Or you could try going along to a convention. I went Eurogamer last year, and it was very pleasant - loads of gamers and "nerds". We have an anime convention over here at Excel, and even that's not just limited to anime - it covers video games and, television series' and movies too.

[Meier Link]

Scroll to the top of the forum, click the 6th option "members list", then pick your favorite letter. After that pick a random name and there you go. All in all we are all nerds in our own right.

As for a real life one, seeing you are 18 go to any local public place and look around; there are bound to at least one or two around. If not there go to another place like an eatery and look for one working behind the cabinet.

Then again there is always gaming events, comicon type events and things of that nature. Then again it doesn't mean you are going to find someone for you there.

[GypsyElder]

Well, you don't need to find a "nerd"for someone to be intelligent, like reading and enjoy videogames. Imo there's different levels of nerdy so it's kind of hard to define it. You just need to find someone with the same interest as you.

You should consider what age range you're looking at here, if you want someone who's 18 like you then you probably won't find as many 18 year old males/or females sitting in coffee shops or doing research at Boarders. Normally, from what I've noticed the majority are older people, and people who are probably as busy as you are if not busier. For me through friends and work are where I meet the most people I click with.

I think school is probably one of the best places to look since you know whatever it is you're looking for is most likely there somewhere. I guess it kind of depends on if you're in highscool or college.

I agree with DragonHeart, all I can say is be social wherever you go. Talk to people you wouldn't normally talk to because even if you weren't interested in the person who's to say they don't have a hot brother ? it could potentially mean a new friend and a boyfriend/girlfriend. It's a win win. The more friends you make or interact with will give you the opportunity to meet new people.

[Pete]

Be Yourself.

Really, the easiest way to get into a relationship is to be yourself and to like what you like, and do whatever it is that you do. Guys can smell desperation from a mile off, and nine times out of ten, they'll use that to their advantage.

And I say this with 100% objectivity and just looking out for your own well being, but that first post you made is really the tell-tale sign. By saying that you're trying to stand out, you're doing the exact opposite of what you should be doing. Trying to do something that's not you in order to attract a guy shows two things: desperation and a lack of self-confidence. You should be confident enough to know that you can attract someone, and that you're good enough or cool enough to have them stick around for you, and not because they think they're gonna get laid after the first date. You should also be laid back in your approach, or else you'll seem clingy and desperate.

Like many others have said, you can meet people through work, through friends or even through classes if you're taking any, but the main thing is to just be yourself and not to let yourself fall into traps of only looking for one type of person

[che]

lol@everyone defending "nerd". it's obviously a stereotype, we get it.

School is really a good way to do it, and if you're looking for intelligence, it's not in Kentucky.

/thread

[Pete]

School is really a good way to do it, and if you're looking for intelligence, it's not in Kentucky.

...coming from Kansas

[che]

...coming from Kansas

I will cut you.

[Heartless Angel]

Protips: Don't go to places you expect to find horny guys looking for chicks. You're not going to find many nerds there. That also shows desperation and lack of self confidence. Horny teenage guys may be stupid, but we can still detect desperation and lack of self-respect. I may not speak for all of us, but I can say that's a big turn off for me. I like a challenge in courting a girl, I don't want someone to come throw themself at me. That's just creepy. The guys who LIKE desperate girls, are usually the jackoffs who just want in your pants. If you're looking for an actual realationship, avoid them.

If you want nerds, be a nerd. You need to search for them in their own habbitat. Go do nerd things. Hang out in nerdy places. I dated alot of girls I met at anime conventions, great place to find nerds. Great way to find the hardcore nerds, reference old internet memes and see who responds to them appropriately, and who stares blankly. But yeah, anime conventions, great place to find large quantites of nerds. They're EVERYWHERE. And in costumes as an added advantage (or disadvantage, depending entirely on what the costume is <.<).

[Josh_R]

Easy way is to pick anyone from this forum

[ZRO]

You won't find the true nerds. We never leave our houses.

But if I had to take a shot at it, I'd say try your luck more at techy type places, or places you WON'T find the more "cool" people, tho, some of those people are seeming to be leaning more and more "nerd" now days anyway. After all, texting used to be something that was "omg you're such a nerd" for doing, but cripes, now I see other people texting far more than I ever did until I had to keep responding.

Possibly internet cafes if they have them in your area, or such places? Just my guess at the matter, since I tend to be more of a stay-at-home-cuz-I-hate-the-general-public type.

[kupo]

you dont find the nerd, the nerd...finds you.
are they any sort of gaming clubs at your school? thats how ive met most of my nerdy friends.

[Alpha]

Find a job.

Seriously, working with people is a great way to form relationships of any kind. That you're working together suggests that you may be interested in the same things (like... supermarkets! OK maybe not.). More importantly, a long shift spent with co-workers means it is impossible to not get to know them. I met my girlfriend at work, and we still work together, as well as be together. My best friend met his girlfriend at work.

Pun time:

It works!

[Azuteor]

Don't spend too much of your time looking for a relationship. Just chill wherever you go and talk to anyone who may strike your interest. Say, "hi," introduce yourself, and go from there. Continue making new friends through your friends because the friends of your friends probably share the same interests as you do. After that, meet the friends of your friends' friends.

I believe the best place to meet people is at college. There's tons of people in one area and you will always have something to do.

[Sean]

Dating websites?


Seriously. They work, if you keep an open mind and use them properly.

I met my fiancée on match, and my best friend met his wife on match. It's an easy way to find people who share your interests, or vice versa.

Though, my fiancée isn't a "nerd" by any means, but she's not unintelligent.

[ultimatekupo]

lol thanks guys ^^ BTW Kentucky doesn't really have many nerds kinda the problem. Yeah I am a chick Dragon Heart. I go to an all girls catholic school so I have no way of meeting people at my school, and I spend 2 hours a day in a car to go to school an hour away. Time and lack of transportation and opportunities have been my biggest issue. Crazy enough I actually met someone tonight by chance going out with a friend! lol He ain't a nerd at all, in any way shape or form, but a pretty kick ass guy, and the opposite of what I originally wanted but its all good maybe its what I need. I prayed for hope and met him so I am gonna see where it goes. ^^ I did read what y'all posted earlier on my phone before it died, and kept it into consideration. Thanks so much!

[rJ floW]

How to find a nerd? go down to the southern states and look for people in church.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

OH! And try going into the audio visual club in your local high school, im sure you can find some humdingers!