Happy birthday Daddy! Yaaay!

18 now, eh? Now you're a man. And you can do manly things! Like have sex with a tarantula! ...Actually, that sounds pretty scary and illegal... Don't do that.

Well... have a great day! I have nothing dynamic to comment about your mother squeezing you through her vagina 18 years ago yadda yadda yadda, so I'll spare you that.

Happy birthday!