Who got you to where you are now?

**Yoko** · 03-21-2012, 09:05 PM

So, I went to a leadership conference and one of the sessions I chose to go to was quite an interesting one. It was called "Who Helped You Along The Way".

One of the things they had us do was come up with one person who influenced you to be who you are today? It could be the reason why you're still alive or doing what you do. Who sticks out in your mind the most? What made that person so influential to you? I had to narrow it down to one person, and I'll probably mention my story later.

If you can choose one person, that's great. A story to go with it would be nice too. If you can't narrow it down to just one person, say them all and how they impacted your life.

Also, if you were to write them a letter, what would you say? Would you send that letter off to that specific person? This part here you don't need to tell if you don't want to. I just think it's interesting to hear others stories.

**IcyJJ** · 03-21-2012, 09:21 PM

I wouldn't have to write them a letter because I am lucky enough to live with that person. My wife, Sarah, is easily the one person who I can thank for bringing me to where I am today. We met in my hometown and then moved to where we live now together. She motivated and respected me as much as I have for her. I am a person who easy gives a lot, but I have been in relationships where the girl has been all take. I finally feel like I am with an equal. She has been one of the few to support my decision to pursue a degree in criminal justice and hopefully obtain a career in law enforcement.

We have played from beginning to end at least 6 different FFs among countless other RPGs.

**Freya** · 03-22-2012, 01:29 AM

I don't think there is just one person who was influenced in everything. Most people should probably say that their parents were the ones who got them to where they are now - because they did, by "making" you. xP
But that would be too easy.

As for my person, I think there was one person who did something pretty good to me. At least if you see the outcome. I was friends with a girl once who pretty much ruined my school life - I don't want to talk about the details right now, as this is so long ago I don't even remember everything she did ^^" - which forced me to go to another school and meet some pretty good friends. In High School I met another couple of good friends... and more. It all leads to myself being way happier than on the other school, meeting good friends and, most importantly, finally realizing what I want to do with my life. Plus, if I hadn't met a precious friend in High School, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend, although they are not connected in ANY way.

I think my life began getting better and better after I changed schools. And that's why I should probably thank this former friend of mine. I saw her at university a while ago, but I haven't talked to her about what happened... maybe I should do that. And thank her for being an ass xP

I'm probably the only one to mention a person who did something bad to change my life, though. ^^" I really hope I'm the only one.

**Niall_farley** · 03-22-2012, 03:18 AM

Well mine was a girl at school she was moved into my class for being naughty. Anyways long story short we got quite 'friendly' and I was by no means a straight A student infact I need have been but I spent all my nights with her playing tonsil hockey among many other things instead of doing homework and then that turned to skipping class to go fool about and so on and so on BUT she also changed my perception on life for the better even tho we where never official we took each others Virginity and eventually when we left school we fazzled out. Before I met her I used to be a bit wierd I had a wierd dress sense and proffered to sit in and listen to heavy metal music than do much else she dragged me out f the pit got me into half smart cloths and out the house and doing things I took up hobbies such as skateboarding and downhill mountain biking! And made me realise there is a lot to life! Oh and she was unbelievably beautiful!

I often wonder where I would be now if it wasn't for her. Would I be jobless and listening to heavy metal music? Although at the start it sounded bad yeh I could of achieved better grades but I'm glad I never I got lots of life experience and didn't have a clue what I wanted to do when left school and would of ended up in a mediocre job but instead I got no grades a crap job and gave me a kick up the butt to go to collage and get a great job with great prospects! Where as if I got half decent grades I would of gone in to a mediocre job and put up with it probably for the rest of my life.

So I'd like to say thank you Rachel for changing my life for the better!

**RamesesII** · 03-22-2012, 03:59 AM

If there was one person who helped me get to where I am now it would have to be Nefertari my spouse, from all my wives she was my favourite so I had a temple commissioned in honor of my reign and Nefertari. To this day it still stands although I heard that they had to move it due to the risk of it being flooded.

Other than my wives and my sons who helped me re-conquer much of what was taken from my predecessors, the other significant person/entity in my life would have to be Amen Ra my god it was my belief in him that allowed me to reign for over 60 years and raise to me to the ranks to be by his side as a god.

**che** · 03-22-2012, 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by Freya

I don't think there is just one person who was influenced in everything. Most people should probably say that their parents were the ones who got them to where they are now - because they did, by "making" you. xP
But that would be too easy.

As for my person, I think there was one person who did something pretty good to me. At least if you see the outcome. I was friends with a girl once who pretty much ruined my school life - I don't want to talk about the details right now, as this is so long ago I don't even remember everything she did ^^" - which forced me to go to another school and meet some pretty good friends. In High School I met another couple of good friends... and more. It all leads to myself being way happier than on the other school, meeting good friends and, most importantly, finally realizing what I want to do with my life. Plus, if I hadn't met a precious friend in High School, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend, although they are not connected in ANY way.

I think my life began getting better and better after I changed schools. And that's why I should probably thank this former friend of mine. I saw her at university a while ago, but I haven't talked to her about what happened... maybe I should do that. And thank her for being an ass xP

I'm probably the only one to mention a person who did something bad to change my life, though. ^^" I really hope I'm the only one.

I mean, sure your parents are a huge influence for EVERYONE. They had the most years of teaching you without you being able to say they were wrong in ANY way. Then there are those that you met that inspired you to change it up or be different somehow, but you yourself was different all along. I dunno how, perhaps its too much of your parents, or just something else, but then there are also those who inspire you so much individually that we sort of worship them.

**NikkiLinkle** · 03-22-2012, 05:19 AM

I'm pretty sure I got me to where I am now, because I am just awesome like that

But really everyone you meet or talk to, has the potential of influencing you or giving you hope or taking it away, or giving you an idea that you didn't have before. All human interaction is kind of entwined.

Yes our parents 'made' us and to a certain extent have a great influence on how we turn out, but so can all experiences in life. I personally couldn't name anyone at this point. I have great respect for people who just do their own thing though

And I think it's nice to let the people you feel helped you along the way, know how you feel about em'. If it's possible.

Sorry if that sounds like a bunch of clap trap.

**Niall_farley** · 03-22-2012, 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by NikkiLinkle

I'm pretty sure I got me to where I am now, because I am just awesome like that

But really everyone you meet or talk to, has the potential of influencing you or giving you hope or taking it away, or giving you an idea that you didn't have before. All human interaction is kind of entwined.

Yes our parents 'made' us and to a certain extent have a great influence on how we turn out, but so can all experiences in life. I personally couldn't name anyone at this point. I have great respect for people who just do their own thing though

And I think it's nice to let the people you feel helped you along the way, know how you feel about em'. If it's possible.

Sorry if that sounds like a bunch of clap trap.

The butterfly effect

**Yoko** · 03-22-2012, 01:21 PM

In all honesty Nikki, I can see where you're coming from in your first comment. I have been a very influential person in my own life. I do my own research, I make my own plans/decisions and what say you. I pull myself out of the bad times when I think no one else is available (or cares). I'm learning not to do that though. It puts a hell of a lot of stress on me. I was told by my psychologist that I am a very influential person. Although I might not be able to see it, I probably am. No one has actually come up to me saying so though. Patience is a damn good virtue.

On a less selfish note, I love all of my friends that I have had the honour of meeting in my life. They have all had a massive impact on me and have been influential in their own different ways. Each with different things to offer. There are quite a few stories I could tell here. One of them being my ex. Although during the last bits of the relationship, things got really negative and I basically destroyed any possibility of being friends with him again, the things he did for me were what helped me see 'the other side'. I had (probably still have...><) problems taking advice from others. He told me the best advice of what I should have done at the time. Unfortunately my own mental state was so freakin stubborn I couldn't even see past the next hour sometimes, let alone heed to his advice. If he didn't say/do the things he did then, I wouldn't be here today. That is a fact. I appreciate everything he did for me. There was an eventual turning point where I would help myself before helping others. I was in bad shape then. Luckily I was able to pull myself out of it with little to no help (at the time). I'm still doing things without medication.

After that, I got back into letting people know about things on forums again. One person who I will forever be grateful for has helped me a lot. She knows who she is and she knows what she's done for me. I truly appreciate it. Even when she kicks my ass for having those thoughts. I might not like it at the time, I might try to resist, but after I settle down and think about what was said, and realize that "yeah, she's right"...Those are the things I'm really grateful for. And the friendship we still have.

Other people who have influenced me play a smaller role in my life as of yet, but I think they probably deserve some recognition. In some way. Probably not here anyway.

With regards to the letter...I have wanted to send my ex one for a while now. I don't know what it'll do. I haven't exactly finished my letter to him, nor do I know if I'll actually finish it. What I do know is that it is rather humbling to let people know that is they have influenced you (more in a positive way, thanking someone for being a bully isn't exactly something that is considered normal ._.). It's also good to let them know how you're doing now.

Alsoalsoalso, these influences don't always have to be solely positive or solely negative. As long as the outcome is great, that's all that matters. I have no idea if that even makes sense. I'll just roll with it.

One last thing. You brought family into this. I might be a special case here. I don't think my family had influenced me in any way. Well, maybe I shouldn't put it so harshly. My father isn't exactly the greatest role model. Neither is my mom in a way. I still love them, but they haven't influenced me to be where I am now. I have always been more friend oriented. I was brought up by friends, not exactly by my family. I don't talking about it and I have no idea why I mentioned it. /rant

**Halie** · 03-22-2012, 01:48 PM

@Freya: You're not the only one, I was friends with a girl who turned out to be a really horrible person and she did ruin my life for a little bit like yours, or at least it felt like it anyway. She made me feel horrible about my personality and my looks, everything about me really.

When we broke friends I was really, really miserable and I didn't like talking to anyone but eventually I got over it and made new friends. But I'm glad I went through that experience because it did change me for the better. Sure, I was miserable for a little bit but overall I think I matured from it a bit and I've learnt to keep some people at arm's length instead of letting them push you around.

For a more positive person, I'd have to say one of my High school teachers, Mr. Gilchrist. I passed maths all because of him, and if it weren't for him I'd still be doing maths now despite finishing high school. Over the course of four and a half years, none of the maths teacher at the school could get me to want to try hard at maths, then halfway through my last year of school Mr. Gilchrist (not an actual maths teacher might I add) strolled into my class and got me to pass within 6 months. And I bloody love him for it. He also got me to pass biology.

**Cyanist** · 03-23-2012, 07:03 AM

Wonderful thread!
I guess everyone else has really long explanations, but I'm just gonna say: my father. It's sort of difficult to put it into words how he helped me, but I used to come off as a really mean, obnoxious kid, in reality, though, I was just overly sensitive and defensive (because of a lot of peer-teasing). He didn't outwardly lecture me or anything, just by being there, he taught me how to act. He had an amazing, untroubled, 'monkly' presence. He passed away years ago and I've never known anyone like him since, but sometimes I see him in my brothers, and I know the change he caused in me.
My letter: Thank you, dad, and I will see you around.

**Cheesevixen** · 03-23-2012, 03:32 PM

I contribute my success to nobody but me. I'ld love to say someone helped me. I probably wouldn't be a cynical as I am now, but I don't. I was told me 3 different therapists my only paths in life was to be in and out of jail, dead, or become a serial killer. I have done none of those things. Instead I deal with my horrifying life by locking it in a box and forgetting about it. I'm not gonna say my choice has me barfing rainnbows and flowers, but I am happy. I can't sleep well because of the nightmares, and I drink my pain away a couple nights a week, but that's a far cry from the criminal I was supposed to me. Instead I'm a functional mom and wife. I have a house, and I don't rly talk to me family. People like to claim it's my bad up bringing that made me rebel and do better in life, but I don't belive that. Because everyday is a struggle. Everyday is a struggle on how to handle my anger, anxety, my feelings of sadness. I do though. I live a happy normal life. Despite being plauged with horrible nightmares that keep me from sleep for weeks at a time I am happy. Just need more sleep. I've only had two (episodes) in 8 yrs....that's pretty good. Even though they were severe I know I'm doing better than most who've been through what I have. Simply put I came out of a bed of shit and became a rose. A loving, sweet, caring, charity giving, loving mom kinda rose. I owe no one the ability to say they helped me on my way. I did it all myself.

**che** · 03-23-2012, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by Cheesevixen

I was told me 3 different therapists my only paths in life was to be in and out of jail, dead, or become a serial killer.

Sounds like you saw some shitty ****ing therapists.

**Michael Swayne** · 03-23-2012, 05:47 PM

I believe that everyone I have ever met or talked to has helped to shape the person I am now in some way. I would probably be a very different person if not for their influence. I would have to write tens of letters, because I wouldn't be able to choose just one.

There's my parents who raised me, teachers/mentors who taught me, friends who support me, family who help me, etc.

If it weren't for everybody in my life, I probably would not have had the strength to carry on these last two years. If I could, I would gather them all together for a giant feast or something, to thank them for everything they have done for me.