Urinating Like Helen Keller

[Clint]

So today at work, somehow I peed, missed the toilet entirely, and didn't realize it until I was completely done. Then there was just this big pile of pee at my feet, which I then had to clean up. I began asking myself, how did I not notice that I wasn't peeing in the toilet, and how did I not hear it striking the floor?

I realized that Helen Keller, being blind and deaf, also would not notice, so I checked to see if I share any of those characteristics with Helen Keller, but I don't. I think I'm just really stupid.

So the question I'm asking is basically, has anybody ever peed anywhere without realizing it? Also, what kind of toilets did Helen Keller use?

[Alpha]

Two summers ago, I went to see Weezer at concert. Next to me, a guy flopped his **** out and started peeing on the leg of the guy in front of him. The guy getting peed on didn't notice until the guying peeing was almost finished, I suppose because it didn't get through his jeans to his skin for some time. But when he turned around, the guy who had peed had finished and zipped up. He pretended he spilt a little bit of his beer on him, and the guy who got peed on shrugged his shoulders and said it was "all good" without checking his story out.

That is my go-to true pee story, I hope you enjoyed it.

[Josh_R]

Some of my friends have a nice video of me when I was under the influence of quite a few alcoholic beverages. In this video I stumble to the kitchen open my buddies fridge, and take a piss in it. Was pretty funny the next day cause he didn't give a shit. He said oh well it happens man.

[Michael Swayne]

which I then had to clean up

Why did you clean it up, when you could have simply had one of your many disciples do it for you? Oh wait, you didn't want a potential spy to somehow get your genetic information, thus forming an army of Eastwoods to do their bidding instead of yours. Still, you should have had an intern do it. They would have felt so honored to cleanse the floor of Eastwood urine.

Anyway, to be on topic...

I try to not relieve myself anywhere other than in the privacy of my current domicile's toilet areas. However, bumpy roads and rainy days sometimes force me to do so elsewhere. However, I always know where I am urinating. There was this one time though when a squirrel was running from a dog and ran under the "waterfall". It was confused at the sudden weather change that it ran back toward the dog.

[OceanEyes28]

Once I was in a car and it was raining really hard, and I had finally dried off after spending hours in the cold rain, and I realized I had to pee. I did not want to go back outside so I tried to pee in a cup, but I underestimated the amount of pee I was dealing with, and I got pee in the car. It all happened so fast. I was really tired, so I dumped what I could outside and put some paper towels down before climbing into the backseat to sleep on top of backpacks with a towel for a blanket. My fiance saw the whole thing.

0/10 would not do again

[Pete]

I've peed in or on more things than I'd like to admit. A monster can while going 70mph was a harrowing experience.
Out of windows.
In sinks.
In the shower.
In the ocean.
Pretty much everywhere on a construction site.
In a plane.
On a train.
And a myriad of other awesome places.

[Kurt Zisa]

I peed in my aunt's riding shoes when I was 4 and she was not pleased. It was completely voluntary, they just happened to be right next to the toilet.