Polk's Eleven (TOP SECRET SHH DON'T TELL)

[Polk]

Ladies and Gentlemen of TFF:

There are certain inalienable truths in the world.

The world is round.
Nickelback sucks.
If you use a blinding attack, then cast Reflect on the Sanctuary Keeper before you slow it, you're pretty much good to go.
Shortbread Girl Scout cookies are delicious.

The last of these truths is the subject of this thread. I was enjoying some delicious shortbread girl scout cookies this evening, and it hit me. I'm going to rob a Girl Scout cookie warehouse.

Now I know what you're saying. "Polk. I don't care how handsome, daring, and debonaire you are. This is an impossible task for one man, even a man as great as you." This I know for a fact, person I made up. That's why I need a team. That's why I need Polk's Eleven. In a plan I stole directly from Based loosely off of Ocean's Eleven, I'm going to assemble a crack team of individuals, each with different useful skills, to help me out. The risks are great, but trust me, the rewards are even better. How does a lifetime supply of Thin mints sound? Yeah, I bet you're listening now.

So, want in? Do you have any skills that you feel will be important to the master plan of our heist? Do you have a unique set of secondary skills that can be used in a tight spot? If you feel you possess the skills necessary to be one of my Eleven, then by all means, post your credentials in this thread. Once we have our team, we will discuss the plan.

The Team

Me (Polk): George Clooney.

Secondary Skills: Jesus I'm George Clooney I don't need anything else so quit asking.

Rocky: Whose boyish good looks drive young girls crazy, and they fall in love with him like he were a member of the Jonas Brothers.

Secondary skills: Bedwrestling against women, Halo 3.

Sabin Rene Figaro: The bait, to which all of our enemies will be attracted.

Secondary skills: The ability to radio air space for convenient getaways.

Dodie16: The inside informant. Can easily obtain knowledge known only to Girl Scouts.

Pete: Rape Getaway van driver. Also useful in case of softball emergencies.

Loaf: Second getaway driver. Also wild card.

Che: Stealthy Accountant.

Block: The Fall Guy.

Sean: The Tech guy.

[Dodie16]

Are you planning to also have sequels that don't really capture the thrill of the original but are still pretty fun to watch anyway? Polk's Twelve and Polk's Thirteen have pretty nice rings to them.

The sweet temptation of an unlimited supply of Samoas is too much to resist. I'm in if you find any use for me and let me in.

I could be like an "insider" or something. Face it. You need a female in your group, and since these are the girl scouts we're talking about, you know those bitches are hell bent on protecting their precious cookie warehouses. That's how they raise the money to go on super fun adventures.

[Pete]

I want to be the rape van getaway van driver, who knows his away around like the back of his hand and can elude the police.

I also want to have buckets of candy readily available...

[Che]

I might be there at the time you do the job, I might not. I'm stealthy like that. I might show up randomly, but not be part of the crew. But if the crew is successful and does a second job, I might join then.

[Block]

I'm a really good fall guy. People tend to blame things on me anyway.


Shortbread ftw.

[Josh_R]

I have a fatmans hunger so f*ck yeah I want in...

[Sean]

I have a technical background and can hack the security system from the back of Pete's rape van getaway van.

(Okay, I really can't, but I can ****ing pretend god damnit)

I can also promise not to eat any of the Shortbread cookies, since I'd rather have the Dosidos and Tagalongs!

[Pete]

So I got the van, when's this shit going down?

[Che]

So I got the van, when's this shit going down?

Sorry Pete.

[Pete]

Well, there was no room in the budget for BOTH spray paint AND candy. I figured the paint would do the advertising, and well, nature would do the rest.

[Rocky]

Well, there was no room in the budget for BOTH spray paint AND candy. I figured the paint would do the advertising, and well, nature would do the rest.

speaking of which, we need an accountant. Any takers?

[Che]

speaking of which, we need an accountant. Any takers?

I'm in.

[Rocky]

I'm in.

I'm talking about someone with skills here.

what kind of math skills you talking about here? show me what you got with a graph or chart or something.

[loaf]

I'm the other getaway. Me and Pete got this on lockdown.

[Che]

I'm talking about someone with skills here.

what kind of math skills you talking about here? show me what you got with a graph or chart or something.

Sure.



Am I hired or what?

[Rocky]

Sure.



Am I hired or what?

I like it! You're in charge.

[OceanEyes28]

So, hey guys, what are we doing here? In this thread?

You've got two posts to convince me to keep it open. Kay, go.

[Che]

So, hey guys, what are we doing here? In this thread?

You've got two posts to convince me to keep it open. Kay, go.

Did you not read the original post? We are assembling a team of badasses to do some jobs.

Shortbread Girl Scout cookies are delicious.

The last of these truths is the subject of this thread. I was enjoying some delicious shortbread girl scout cookies this evening, and it hit me. I'm going to rob a Girl Scout cookie warehouse.

Now get all worked up over something you're not a part of.


edit: GIRLSCOUT COOKIES

[Polk]

Hoo boy did I neglect this thread.

Dodie: If all goes well, we won't need another heist. We need an insider amongst the dreaded girl scouts. Welcome aboard.

Pete and Loaf: I'm not sure if two getaway drivers are necessary, but I'm not opposed to the idea entirely. In addition, I feel like Loaf would make an excellent Wild Card when the moment calls for it, and Pete would make a useful ally in any situation. Welcome aboard, both of you.

Che: I like the idea of a stealthy accountant. Welcome aboard.

Block: You are indeed the perfect fall guy. Welcome aboard.

Kisuke: You clearly didn't read my OP properly. If so, you would have stated what kind of skills you can bring to the group. You are welcome to apply again.

Sean: You automatically win favor by promising not to eat any of the shortbreads. Your tech knowedge is also a plus, even if it is just pretend. Welcome aboard.

I will update the OP as necessary.

By my calculations, we are now up to 9 members. If anyone else wants to apply, now would be the time to do so (I'll give it a couple of days before I post again). If not, we will take this crew and begin the planning process.

[TheSpyWhoLovedMe]

It seems your fall guy has fallen already? Seems like a rough start to a perfect plan.

[Trodorne]

THough no one on this site knows it, i do have training in military style combat and stealthy special ops. im a fairly good marksmen with a 72% accuracy at 200 yards. if i were to spend time on training i could get it up. martial arts training in , karate, tae kwon do, dahn moo do, traditional kook sol, hapkido, minor training in kung fu, wrestling, and tai chi to balance myself out, minor weapons training with and against knife, as well a minor training using a staff weapon.

i have some biomedical training in school, and i like to act like to go off and say random things or even make bad pun jokes for every situation.

weakness: powdered ice tea mix, chocolate, and bacon.

[Pete]

Clearly, you qualify for the "useless chick" position.

How do you look in a halter top?

[Rhaps]

If I change my skin colour I can be the token black guy!
That, or I could be the distraction guy, those girl scouts are pretty damned alert, so you'd need something for them to target aside from the rest of the team, and I am willing to strap sparklers to my forearms and run screaming profanities in front of the warehouse

[Josh_R]

THough no one on this site knows it, i do have training in military style combat and stealthy special ops. im a fairly good marksmen with a 72% accuracy at 200 yards. if i were to spend time on training i could get it up. martial arts training in , karate, tae kwon do, dahn moo do, traditional kook sol, hapkido, minor training in kung fu, wrestling, and tai chi to balance myself out, minor weapons training with and against knife, as well a minor training using a staff weapon.

i have some biomedical training in school, and i like to act like to go off and say random things or even make bad pun jokes for every situation.

weakness: powdered ice tea mix, chocolate, and bacon.

Hahaha I have every qualication as yourself. The only difference is that I have no weakness. Powdered Ice Tea mix trembles when I am near. I used to be a fatty so Chocolate knows to steer clear. And I eat bacon every morning. Muahahaha it seems that you are not needed.

My Credentials

Kenpo Karate~ Brown Belt
Kyokuishin Karate~ Green Belt
Judo~ Brown Belt
BJJ~ Purple Belt
Tae Kwon Do~ Black Belt
Wrestling pedigree
1 and a half year of Muay Thai Kickboxing
Junior Golden Gloves boxing champ
95% shooting accuarcy from 300 yards
I am a pro MMA fighter
Member of the USMC
I LARP every Saturday

Clearly I am the better man for the job.

[Kooky Spice]

Your offer of Thin-mints pleases Kooky. I want in, my credentials include I OWN A MUTHA FUKKIN DEATHRAY BEE-YOTCH!! Ask Darnell he knows. Plus I am fluent English, Japanese, and The art of speaking to the evil cow ppl of doom. I am also a super Pot-head and no group can be without that, I mean come on someone's got to be holding.

[Rocky]

umm so when we kicking this off fellas (and dodie).

I'm kinda hungry.

[Pete]

Lets do this. I want me some girl scout... cookies.

[che]

Lets do this. I want me some girl scout... cookies.

Eww that's dirty.

[Polk]

For the Eleven (or ten, or however many people I recruited for this stupid little story I created). One day, while going out to check your mail, you happen upon a letter on your doorstep. It's strange. You don't seem to remember anyone ringing your doorbell, so whoever left it there must not have wanted you to know who they were. Upon examination, the letter is plain white, and very clean. Whoever gave this to you took good care of it, and made sure not to get it dirty or damage it. The only thing written on the envelope is the number "11", on the front of the envelope. You take it inside and decide to read it.

To all who receive this letter: Before continuing on, please be sure you are alone. I’d rather not let the contents of this letter get out into the public spotlight. If you are currently with friends, family, fellow employees, or what have you, quietly, and without alarm, excuse yourself and get to someplace you know you will be alone. I find bathroom stalls work perfectly for all my secret note readings. If you are in an area with open windows, cameras, or any other place that someone (or something) could be watching you, I recommend dealing with them in the appropriate way. You never know what nosey government agent or Girl Scout representative is watching. Once that is all taken care of, please continue on.

---


To my Eleven.

I know it has been a while since I have contacted any of you, and for that, I apologize. It seems, however, there have been several complications in our plot to overthrow the oppressive Girl Scout regime, and take what is rightfully ours. Without going into great detail, I caught word of an attempt for my life by one of the Girl Scouts’ Assassin Agents, and had to take evasive action. Before any of you begin to worry, however, about my current condition, I assure you I am fine, and I believe that I have shaken off any unwanted attention I may have attracted. I feel that because of these recent events, it is wise to not let anyone know my current whereabouts. This is, as you have probably figured out already, the reason I have contacted you all via an unmarked envelope on your doorstep. But before I divulge into too much detail in relation to my current circumstances, let me get to the real reasons I have contacted you all.

I received word from one of my many sources that we have, unfortunately lost one of our Eleven. Codename Block was a good man, and he will be sorely missed. Although it pains me to find a replacement for him, this is not Polk’s Ten. That would be just plain silly. I am always looking to recruit new talent into the Eleven, and I find suitable candidates every day.

In relation to the plan, we will take what we rightfully deserve, in due time. Due to the recent events described above, the plan will take some re-tooling to complete successfully. I assure you that I spend my days and nights planning, and when it all comes together, we will succeed. All I need from you at this moment is time. Continue to live your lives, keep a low profile, and hone your special skills. I will contact you all once again when the time is right. It may be tomorrow, it may be next week, or it may be around mid-Decemberish, when colleges get out for the semester. You never know. But I assure you, it will come.

Upon completion of reading this letter, I request that you destroy the envelope and the contents within.


Polk.