Well, if any of you read my journal today, you'd already know this was coming. So, before we get started, I want to point out that this thread shouldn't be for ANYTHING forum-related. If you have an issue there, there's already another topic for it. Keep this one for non-TFF materials, plzkthx.

I'll probably post up some different thoughts on things that irk me another time.


~

I'll start off by saying this much -- I'm not going to be complaining about work here. Hell, it's rare that I do that, and when I do it's usually to tell some awesome story to go along with it. No, these are gripes about people. Really, really, obnoxiously stupid people.

A few, random things:

1 - MUMBLERS. Okay, so you mumble. It's not so terrible if you're standing next to me in the store. I can hear you, for the most part, and that's okay. But sometimes it's busy. Sometimes you need to speak up, or at least speak clearly. There might be too much background noise. But if you're on the phone, and all I hear is "hey do you mmfphmthtmddn?" and expect an answer, I'm going to ask you to speak up. And when I hear "HEY DO YOU MMFPHMTHTMDDN" and expect an answer, I'm going to ask you to speak clearly. And when I hear "HEY. DO. YOU. HAVE. FPHMTHTMDDN." and expect an answer, I'm going to make up some bullshit about how there must be a terrible connection and you'll have to call me right back. No, there's no terrible connection, you just never learned how to dictate your speech and should return to grade school. I'm thinking kindergarten would be a good start, yes?

2 - STUBBORNNESS. "What do you mean you don't have it in stock? I was at the other store and they said you had 4-9 copies!" (I hate when other stores do the database lookup and fail to call; however, in their defense, some customers don't want us to call... I always do anyway.) "I'm sorry ma'am, but the list updates overnight. It is 6pm and I sold our last Wii at about noon today." It's not -always- with the Wii that people flip out at me, but it's usually the case. Or Wii Fit. Or Mario Kart. Or the 60GB PS3 that was discontinued in June of 2007. You know, because a store that was built in July of 2008 will totally just have those laying around everywhere. Insert various other samples of stubborn people getting pissed off because I don't have what they want in stock, because it's MY fault that someone else got here first.

3 - SHORT-CHANGERS. Hi. I didn't grow up yesterday. I tested out of two years of college-level Calculus when I was going to school. If you think I'm going to fall for that whole "oh, wait, I have this much instead, give me that back and we'll work out the change" bullshit, I'm going to say "no, let's just work with what you gave me already." "But the math is easy!" "I know it is, and you're doing it wrong." That tends to shut them up.

4 - IGNORANCE. I'm not talking about personalities, although that's also really annoying. I'm not talking about parents trying to buy crap for their kids, because that's understandable. I'm talking about the kids who come in saying things like "I was setting up my system and the video doesn't work." We'll use the 360 as an example.
"Did you check the connections on the cables?"
"Yeah man I'm not an idiot, it's all plugged in right, I know how to work a TV."
"Is it high-def or standard-def?"
"It's HD man, I ain't poor."
"Did you check the cable to be sure it was flipped in the HDTV position?"
"What? Cables don't have switches, you're an idiot."
"No, sir, the XB360 video cable supports both standard and high definition output; all you have to do is flip the switch at the bottom of the cable."
And then I get a cable. And the guy gets an attitude with me, as though I'm the moron here. I'm sorry that you're too much of a douche to bother reading your instruction manual, or even look at the damn cable itself to find the answer sitting directly in front of your face. Glad I could help.

5 - STALKERS. I think I've only had one or two personal experiences with this in terms of work-related incidents, but this one's less about me and more about my co-workers. For those who know me, you know I used to work at "ChickStop." Our staff was half female, and we got a LOT of phonecalls.
"Is Jess there?" "Nope, she--" *click*
"Is Markie there?" "Not at the moment, she--" *click*
Or my favorite; "Thanks for calling GameStop where you can buy and sell used games, this is Cesar, how may I help you?" *click*
Yeah, I don't have the right body parts for you, you just go ahead and hang up now. I've been running into this a bit at my new store, too. I think a lot of them are wrong numbers since we're still pretty fresh, but I get the occasional heavy sigh before the hang up. There are a lot of calls for Mandy. A guy (who wasn't her boyfriend) called and got pissed off at me because she had the day off. Seriously. WTF. And poor Emily (manager at another store) has a guy who still remembers the outfit she wore the day he first met her... down to the pattern on her stockings. And Andrea... well, lesbians at GameStop have desperate guys crawling all over them. Yikes. Ew.

6 - APPLICANTS. Oh man, this section has subsets. But first, some positive spin. I love hiring new people. I hire a lot of first-timers, too, so I really don't care whether you have experience or not. Sure, it helps, and I generally have to go by what's best for the store, but sometimes experience just can't beat personality.

6.1 - APPLICANTS WHO MUMBLE. Seriously. This is a sales floor. You stand on it and sell things to people. If you cannot properly articulate, you should not be talking, let alone selling. Learn to speak, then come back to see me next year.

6.2 - APPLICANTS WHO ARE IGNORANT. If you're a customer and you're ignorant about something, there are acceptable situations for that, as noted above. But if you're applying for a job to sell things to people and you listed your entire videogame knowledge as "The Sims," I don't think you've got a diverse enough library to sell Rogue Galaxy to an RPG player, or BioShock to an FPS player. I surely don't expect every applicant to know everything about everything. Hell, half of my current staff is still out of the loop on various things here and there. But when you come in to my store and ask for an application, and I ask you what you know about videogames, and your verbatim response is "Nothing, I just need a job..."

And finally, the coup de grâce.

6.3 - APPLICANTS WHO BEG.

I get it. You want a job. You need a job. You have some sick desire to work for minimum wage five hours a week and think that it will help you pay off your $20,000 debts or whatever. I don't care why you want to get hired. Well, actually, I do, but that's not the point here.

If you walk in the door and say "please tell me you're hiring, I really need a job," you're already just a little under my skin. At this point, the relationship is easily salvageable. Talk to me. Let's get you an application. Let's see what you know. Now you can wait until I'm hiring again... when? Could be seasonal hiring in October. Maybe someone will quit, or move, or get fired. I can't tell you.

If you walk in the door and look at things, regardless of whether you buy stuff, and we strike up a conversation on the sales floor, you're a customer. Now, when we're done talking about X game or Y system, and you ask me for an application, you're a customer who would like a job. You're off on the right foot here.

Regardless of how it starts, what matters is how it continues. I've got a couple of guys who come in once or twice a week just to see if we've got any openings yet. Nope. Okay, cool, later! That's awesome.

And I've got a couple of guys who continue to come in... and beg. Literally. "Pleeeeeeease I neeeeeed a job so bad! Can't you just fire that guy?" Is that a joke? Are you trying to be funny? Do you really want me to fire an employee?

Two come to mind. One is needy and one is aggressive. Both beg.

Hi. I am Person One. I like long walks on the beach and whining for a job. I am going to visit you four days a week, strike up a conversation, and then loiter for an hour minimum. I'm going to interrupt your customers to show you how good of a salesman I am. I'm going to slowly get further and further behind your counter when we're talking until you tell me to get out from behind the counter. I'm going to ramble on about things you don't care about in hopes that my vast knowledge of nothing important and outdated systems that you don't even sell any more will get me a job. I'll continue to whine and beg and be really obnoxious because it makes such a good impression on you. I have something reserved, so you have to love me by default.

Hi. I am Person Two. The follow paragraph will be more words than I have ever spoken. I, too, will visit you three or four times a week. I will bring in a game worth two dollars in trade credit and then bitch and you when you take off 20% for cash value. I will loiter in your store for at least twenty minutes at a time. I dress as though I am homeless. I mumble sometimes. I will also interrupt your customers when they ask you questions, but then I won't know the answer so I will make something up. You will correct me and I will look stupid and then I will get angry with you and demand that you hire me. I have virtually no knowledge of the position I am applying for but I am a far better choice than the other guy who keeps begging you for a job. My application looked good on paper but I was probably lying about most of it, because when you ask me questions about games and try to make a conversation out of it, I get frustrated with you and stomp my feet.

Seriously.

So maybe I put a little more detail in those than anticipated.

Despite all of these things, I absolutely LOVE retail. I think I'm sick.