Many movies, soaps, books all take use of this idea. And of course it happens in real life too.
So here is my question.
How would you react if you found out you were adopted?
Would you seek out your biological parents and move away from the ones who brought you up?
Would see you people who had raised you as your true parents?
Would you feel betrayed? Alone? Abandoned?
What would you do about it?
I've always thought about this. How would I feel? It's a tough thing to think about, but still rather intriguing ;3.
I put this in GC as it could invite short posts, but we'll see how it goes <3.
Following the path for truth...
and ending the dream.
I think (never know unless it really happens) I would feel hurt that they waited so long to tell me and probably would be a little mad. But I would get hopefully get over it soon. My parents would be and always will be my true parents, but I still think I'd seek out my biological parents. I'd want to know answers to a bunch of questions: why they gave me up, family medical history, etc. etc., though the main thing would also have to be to see if I could extend my family.
I hear ya.Originally Posted by Volendral
If you're suggesting that I'd hear it from them NOW, I'd be really dissapointed in their honesty. I'm almost 20 and it wouldn't be fair that they'd tell me today. (Even though I look almost exactly like my dad at my age.)
Apart from "handling the shock", I'd probably look up my biological parents to, as Volendral stated, get some answers on simple questions. I think the medical history of biological parents is usually being held at the hospital, so I don't think there would be any surprises there. But I'd like to know where they're from, what they're like, if I got anything from them (e.g. musical talent).
I wouldn't abandon my parents cause they still did raise me. Me not liking my parents has nothing to do with that at the moment. But I'm just saying that the adoption thing wouldn't be another reason to not like them (apart from the not-telling).
I've thought a lot about it with my girlfriend from what age you can tell a child, i.e. from what age the child would really understand. I think you should let it slip into his/her mind at an early age (say 5 years old for a start), while making sure that he/she doesn't feel like an outsider as "that adopted kid". I wouldn't prohibit him/her from looking up the biological parents. I'd be glad to help my kid find them, cause nothing is more important to a young person than finding an identity. Biological parents don't have to take up a role in a (young) person's life, but they áre a part of his/her identity.
Crao Porr Cock8: Getting it while the getting's good
At this age I'm not sure the impact would be so huge. I've known my parents for a very long time, so I think that while I may be interested, it'd be weird to do anything drastic for the purpose of "knowing where I came from." I'm more or less set where I am, family-wise... and the fact that my "real parent(s)" never lifted a finger throughout my lifetime to try and see me would really make the whole experience uneasy. Maybe if I was younger, it'd be a very different story.
That being said... I don't think I can truly imagine the circumstances. I remember back in elementary school we wrote wishes on paper or something, and a girl wished to meet her real parents. I didn't think about it much until now. She seemed perfectly happy when she was around her adoptive mother... so I guess despite having great parents, the fact that you "don't know where you come from" can nag at you constantly for any number of reasons. At least, at that age.
My aunt could not have children, so she and her husband found an alternate route. Last I talked to her, they still haven't told their children about that fact. She's pretty scared about doing it... she really cares about them, for sure, she's just very scared of how they may react. So it can be tough for both parties. It's not just a matter of honesty.
Last edited by SOLDIER #819; 06-14-2009 at 10:33 AM.
Another nice thread! =3
How would you react if you found out you were adopted?
Nymm... I'd be upset that it took so long for my parents to tell me. I'd cry for a little while before deciding that crying won't get me anywhere. I'd then tell my parents that I'm not angry, and that I know there was probably a good reason for them to keep it from me - to protect me somewhat I guess.
Would you seek out your biological parents and move away from the ones who brought you up?
No. My parents that raised me will always be my parents in my mind. They are the ones who brought me up to be the person I am today. I'd seek my real parents, but to me they'd never be the ones I'd go to if I needed help, or if I wanted to be with someone.
Would see you people who had raised you as your true parents?
Yes. ^^
Would you feel betrayed? Alone? Abandoned?
For a while, yes. But I'd get over it after a few months... =S
"I used to be active here like you, then I took an arrow in the knee."
>>>------------->
Suddenly... clutter.:
Warning free for over eight years. Feels good.
How would you react if you found out you were adopted?
I'd obliterate somebody!! ...and I would be hurt and confused that I was never told before this point. It would be very odd, knowing that the brothers and sisters I grew up with were not really my brothers and sisters, or that my parents were not my real parents. I might be pissed off for a while, in fact. I hear lots of people are when that happens to them, and they're teenagers or older when they find out.
Would you seek out your biological parents and move away from the ones who brought you up?
Maybe. But I'd probably be pissed off at them, too. It might not even be worth it to find them. Maybe I'd call them and be all like "**** you mother ****ing ****ed up ****ers!!" Just to get it out of my system. If they were sorry though, and wanted to talk to me afterwards, I'd probably forgive them. But they would have given up the right to be my parents a long time ago, so I wouldn't think of them as such.
Would see you people who had raised you as your true parents?
Yes. Though things might not ever be the same between us, or would take a long time to heal.
Would you feel betrayed? Alone? Abandoned?
For a while, maybe.
That would be messed up. Anyhoo...
Wuv, Yer Mom
Last edited by Taco-Calamitous; 06-14-2009 at 11:04 AM.
How would you react if you found out you were adopted?
I wouldn't react at all, because that's what everybody would expect me to do. Instead, I'd just pretend like I always knew, and I would go on with my day. I mean, is it really a big deal to find out that you're not blood related to your parents?
Would you seek out your biological parents and move away from the ones who brought you up?
No. That's a stupid thing to do. Just because some strangers just so happen to be my biological parents doesn't actually make them my parents. I wouldn't care one way or the other if I ever met them or not.
Would see you people who had raised you as your true parents?
Honestly, this question makes absolutely zero sense to me. Either it's missing a few words, or I'm just not getting it.
Would you feel betrayed? Alone? Abandoned?
Anybody who does is just a big baby. Sure, your parents didn't actually conceive you, but they're still your parents. Just because somebody else gave birth to you shouldn't mean a damn thing, for one because you don't even remember your birth, and therefore, have no recollection of who your biological parents are. That right there should prove that it doesn't matter.
I'm still waiting for mine to tell me. I know I'm of royal blood; why they won't say, I don't know.
My parents told me when I was about 5 I think I can't remember but even after all this time I'm still not sure how I feel. I don't reall remember how I reacted either.
How would you react if you found out you were adopted?
Same way I react to everything these days...a shrug and a 'whatever' heh.
Would you seek out your biological parents and move away from the ones who brought you up?
I'd probably look them up but I wouldn't try to contact them, nor would I suddenly turn on the parents who raised me and move out in anger or whatever.
Would see you people who had raised you as your true parents?
Well yeah...but then I don't put as much import on blood ties as much as I once did. It's the personal relationships that matter. You can't choose your family, but you can choose which relationships you want to maintain.
Would you feel betrayed? Alone? Abandoned?
Not really. As long as they didn't give me up for a stupid reason I'd actually approve of their decision. What's worse, crappy parents or adopted ones? Exactly.
What would you do about it?
Honestly? Nothing. I'm old enough where I need to be out on my own anyways so it's not like something like that would really have an effect on my life.
~DragonHeart~
Family: Psiko, Mistress Sheena, Djinn
I would first learn the reasons for my adoption and if they were good enough under special circumstances i would consider them all my parents..
I wouldn't move away from my adoptee parents if they had treated me fair because they deserve as much or more thanks then my real parents
would be upset if they didn't tell me after i was 21 though....a man by then
My TFF Family
My annoying, random, and video game-addicted cousin Ralz
My gunslinging, chicken obsessed younger brother H.U.N.K
An ex-girlfriend of mine was adopted, and she knew from a very young age. She has since contacted her biological mother, found out about the rest of her (blood) family, etc., but she thinks about it just like I do -- blood isn't the only family.
If I found out I was adopted? Well, first, I'd be confused, because apparently I look exactly like my grandfather did when he was my age. After that, I honestly don't think I'd care. I'd probably try to contact my biological parents, just for a few reasons -- let them know that the child they gave up for a better life is doing well and successful, and like Volendral said, ask about family medical history, why they gave me up, etc. Maybe thank them for letting me live with a responsible family instead of having me cut up, pulled apart, and sucked out of the womb through a tube. I doubt that I would seek to join their family again, but contact would be nice. I'd probably try to find some pictures, of me throughout my life, to send to them ... but it'd all depend on how they responded to me, I suppose.
But the way I figure, my dad is my dad, whether he's my father or not. My brother and sister are my brother and sister, whether they are blood-related or not.
Last edited by Sasquatch; 06-16-2009 at 08:03 AM.
Sig courtesy of Plastik Assassin.
Greater love hath no man than this; that he lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13
How would you react if you found out you were adopted?
I don't think I'd care all that much. I'm sure my biological parents had a good reason for putting me up for adoption. And if they just didn't want me, then I appreciate that they gave me to a family who does.
Would you seek out your biological parents and move away from the ones who brought you up?
No. My current family is the one I know and love; I'd hate to live with a bunch of strangers. I don't know if I'd seek them out, but I'd like to see what they looked like; I don't look like either of my parents.
Besides, I'm almost 21 years old and I'm sure my biological parents wouldn't want a fully grown adult living in their house even if I wanted to, haha.
Would see you people who had raised you as your true parents?
Of course. My families' pretty tight knit, especially my mum, brother and me. I couldn't think of them as anything other than my true family.
Would you feel betrayed? Alone? Abandoned?
Definately not.
I'd have no reason to feel betrayed; my mum wouldn't know how to tell me if I were adopted.
Alone; no way! I have a mum, a dad, a sister and a brother. A full family right there.
Abandoned; as I said before, I'm sure my real parents would've put me up for a adoption for a good reason. If they abandoned me for no reason, that's fine; the lady still gave birth to me; she just figured I'd like parents who wanted me. As far as I'm concerned, I'm too old to think of anybody else being my family.
What would you do about it?
I wouldn't do a thing. Despite some major kinks over the years, my life has been pretty darn good. My parents have always provided us all with a place to live, food, warm beds and a pair of arms fit for hugging when we feel down. As far as I'm concerned; I struck lucky.
There was a time that I wondered if I might've been adopted; firstly I don't look like ANYBODY in my family. Secondly; my skin is golden and darker than the rest of my family. Third; mum says she barely knew my grandfather but that he was a Polish Russian but when my other siblings ask about those things, she seems to have a more feasible answer for them and never mentions anything about him being a foreigner. I'm sure there's a good reason for all this; I know there are a lot of secrets in my family but I don't think any of us are adopted.
That said; I found my birth certificate. It has my mothers name on but not my fathers'. Maybe they HAVE been keeping some secrets.Either way, I don't care. My family are mine, flaws and all.
The person in my avatar is me.
THIS SIGNATURE IS VERY DISTRACTINGS
I was the holder of the highest amount of rep that ever lived on TFF. 1788. lolz. I ween.
I think I'd be something along the lines of...
HELL YEAH!!!!
But whatever, you know?
Some of my mates I feel closer to than my direct family and some family I'm only related to via marriage/remarriage are among my most closest of relatives, in particular those I've known all my life who I may as well have been related to. You can choose who you want to care about regardless of things like blood.
victoria aut mors
How would you react if you found out you were adopted?
I would be shocked, and maybe fall into a small depression phase. Seeing as how it would feel like my entire life was a lie, it seems like depression would be highly likely.
Would you seek out your biological parents and move away from the ones who brought you up?
No, I don't think I would. If my real parents abandoned me, I wouldn't want to know them.
Would see you people who had raised you as your true parents?
I think I would. If someone has raised you for your entire life, weather they are biological or not, they are your parents.
Would you feel betrayed? Alone? Abandoned?
Maybe at first, but then I would feel better because they chose to take me in. I guess it would make me feel special and more wanted.
My TFF Family! <3
Fate, my cuddly and lovable brother-in-law.
Armageddon, my awesome, evil, chaotic younger brother.
Obviously I can only answer by how I think I'd react. But I think I would not care at all. My family is my family. Whether I'm blood-related to them or not doesn't matter to me. So I'd probably not care, and my feelings would not change. Maybe I'd be even happier that they were willing to adopt me.
I most likely would not care about my biological parents.
Well Kilala my life is kinda like that lol
I was not adopted but I have lived with my Grandparents all my life.
My mom lives close by and my dad lives in Arkansas.
I never questioned it or anything until I got older around 15 and I did meet my real dad, my real mom was always close by just visited atleast once a month but I never really cared.
Now that I'm 19 I've answered those questions.
I treat the people who raised me as my real parents cause they had to put up with me, not my real parents. My grandparents are the world to me. I did resent my mom and dad for leaving me and such, but I also understand and I have promised myself I would never make the same mistake they did.
At age 15 when I found out I did fall into a depressed phase and ending up self mutilating myself and punishing myself as if it was my fault. Though I did have many other reasons besides the one above.
Hope that answers it all
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