Dating someone with an STD

[GypsyElder]

I'm not dating someone with an STD but it makes me wonder how many of you would consider pursuing a relationship with someone who has an STD. I'm not saying I wouldn't I'm just curious since I don't know anyone who actually has one, and I don't really know how one would go about it. I would imagine it's probably more difficult for someone with.

I was watching health channel

Thoughts please.

PS: if you're going to reply with something like "eww nooo that's gross blah blah" don't bother.

[loaf]

ewww no thats gross.





It would have to depend on who it is. Being able to trust the person to keep you both safe. It's more of a personal choice imo and how you feel with the other person having an STD. It's not that bad of a thing, I mean it is; keep it safe, keep communicating.

[GypsyElder]

It would have to depend on who it is.Being able to trust the person to keep you both safe

I don't think anyone would pursue a relationship with a person who had an std that they didn't trust.

[Rocky]

I honestly dont know if I could go about persuing a serious relationship with someone who has an incurable STD. If it was to happen though then my partner and I would most likely practice abstinence until we decided if we were going to be married or not. I'm not completely against it, but I do want to protect myself at the same time and if it does happen to be someone amazing, then they would be worth waiting for until marriage.

[Howling Wind]

If its someone I loved then yes, I would. I would keep myself safe though. But like if I found out someone had a STD its not like I would say HEY! Wanna go out on a date?!

I dunno, maybe I'm too young to make that choice but its just kind of a scary thought. You know.. relationship... dangerous time in the bedroom. Dunno =O

[Josh_R]

Shit you can get the STD then you can be a big STD couple with no worries. Problem solved..

[Unknown Entity]

I think it would depend on the STD, who it was, and I'd take the necessary measures to protect myself. I'm not the type for one night stands, or very quick into the sack relationships, and I'd like to know as much about a person as possible before we do anything that could compromise each others heath and well-being (if I ever end up with an STD). I'd want to know about any STDs beforehand, and if I had doubts they can forget about it.

If an STD popped up from nowhere, you can imagine how pissed I'd be. >>

I understand that some STDs are passed in non-sexual ways, like sharing needles/dirty medical equipment, even food or towls. Not much you can do about that, really, besides the obvious.

As for an incurable disease... I don't think that'd work for me, and I wouldn't pursue a relationship with someone with such an STD. The only way I'd go for that type of relationship was if I had the disease too (like AIDS or HIV) - I mean, **** it. What more harm is it going to do? I definitely would drop the ideas of children though, and would continue to do everything I could to stop myself from becoming pregnant - tubes tied, no problem.

[Polk]

If I found out the girl I was seeing had an STD that would be perfect for me because my fetish is big, moist cold sores.

You'd better hope that this isn't oozing puss around me because you might never get me to get off of you! Rawr!

[che]

This isn't really a black and white issue. It's more of a situational type thing. A lot of different factors come into play, and multiple people would deal with the same situation many different ways, all of which may or may not be "right".

[Alpha]

Thank you for complete non-committal, chad.

Though I'm not sure what to think myself. Best way to think about it is putting yourself in the shoes of the person who has the STD, rather than the other way around. How difficult would it be if everyone's first thought about you (relationship-wise) is "you have an STD."?

There would be a temptation to not tell your partner. Or at least not tell them for some time. But in a sense that is a very unfair and selfish thing to do. If the non-STD partner is absolutely sure that they do not want a relationship with a person who does have an STD, then building a relationship while hiding that fact would create a very painful relationship, at such time when the fact becomes known to both partners.

But revealing it early could jeopardise the relationship, and from the perspective of the person with the STD, that in itself would be hugely difficult to overcome, potentially repeatedly.

Personally, I'd reveal it the first time 'sexy time' is on the radar. Not necessarily sex. You can't just launch that out at the last minute. It would be a very difficult thing to reveal to a partner, especially if you care for them, and then they react by judging you solely by your STD. That reaction (viewing someone 'as' an STD) is also selfish, but understandably so.

It would take a very committed, and mature, partner to overcome such a stigma.

[Chez Daja]

I possibly HAVE ****ed somebody with an STD, but all of my flings/casual sex relationships/one nighters have been protected and I'm completely clean.

Probably wouldn't get into a serious, committed relationship with somebody with an STD though. Eventually in a relationship, I tend to venture off into other areas of birth control and quit using the loveless socks.

[Lily]

If it's treatable, then they better be getting treated!

Something recurring like genital warts or...uh.. I want to say herpes... I think its that... I'm not so sure, I don't think I'd like the possibility of being inflicted with that, then having to explain to a future partner... aw no it'd be grim.

Shallow I know, but I dont want random growths on my lady bits thank you very much

[GypsyElder]

Though I'm not sure what to think myself. Best way to think about it is putting yourself in the shoes of the person who has the STD, rather than the other way around. How difficult would it be if everyone's first thought about you (relationship-wise) is "you have an STD."?

That's pretty much where I was going.

So basically from what I've read, someone with an std is basically F*cked relationship wise :s :s that's sad to me.

I just don't think it's fair that most people completely rule a person out of a potential relationship that has an std, but I'm not bashing anyone who says they wouldn't since everyone is different. If sex is an important aspect to you in a relationship then that's understandable.

[che]

That's pretty much where I was going.

So basically from what I've read, someone with an std is basically F*cked relationship wise :s :s that's sad to me.

I just don't think it's fair that most people completely rule a person out of a potential relationship that has an std, but I'm not bashing anyone who says they wouldn't since everyone is different. If sex is an important aspect to you in a relationship then that's understandable.

I have a friend who got an STD she's going to have to live with for the rest of her life. At first she was scared she would never meet anyone ever again that would love her. She's finding out though that it does put a damper on things. It's not easy to say "hey, I know we're serious and stuff but I have this problem..." However, it can be worked around.

There are tons of married couples who just use condoms and other methods of not transmitting STDs, etc. Definitely hard, I'm sure, but workable. Also depends on the STD.

[OceanEyes28]

It would not be impossible. Like it's been mentioned before, I gotta look at it from the perspective of the person with the STD. Let's say you have intercourse with someone who wasn't honest with you about their sexual history. Or maybe even just ignorant of their condition. That shit happens, so I hope I don't see anyone saddling up their high horse to talk about how they'd NEVER do something like that. Anyway, so you have sex with this person and all of a sudden, you have an STD that you can't cure. You can't take it back, it's with you forever. After the initial panic and repulsion, I'd be feeling pretty depressed, I think. To be judged as a disease. ****, man. That's hard.

It's complicated. I'd want to know of course, and if I'm thinking about raising children with this person (if it got serious), we'd need to have conversations about artificial insemination or adoption.... basically, ways to keep the child safe. As long as they're concerned with my safety, I think it could be worked around.

Because really, I'm not trying to judge someone because they ended up with something they didn't want or deserve in the first place. I'm not going to lie, the news would give me pause. I'd have to think about it a lot. But love is love. So.... hey, whatever.

[Pete]

It depends on the situation. I'd be pretty pissed off if a girl ****ed me just to give me some kind of disease. I'd probably be pretty mad if she knew she had it and didn't tell me because she thought it'd make me mad.

My face would be red if I had one, didn't have any of the tell-tale signs, gave it to my girl, and then got the signs when I got it back. Man, that'd suck.

All in all, I think it depends on honesty and the severity of the disease. If someones withholding something of that magnitude, I think it would warrant a nice long conversation. If they're lying about having one, it's a total game changer and relationship ender... and if they have anything ridiculously serious, then there's a good chance I wouldn't be around in the first place.