A completely unbiased assessment of Pete.

[Walter Sobchak]

As you all know, TFF is facing some tough times. We have war abroad, a posting recession, high load times, unreasonable gil exchange rates. Frankly, the list is too long. We need someone to lead us through the dark times. Someone who has the courage and experience to lead. That person is Pete.

1. Pete was a P.O.W. of inactivity for almost five years. In that time, his arms and legs were broken, and he began to lose some of his hair. However, his spirit persevered and he was able to escape and rejoin us.

2. He has experience. Not since Grover Cleveland has a challenger been able to say he has had the job before. We don't need another mod that needs on-the-job training.

3. Pete was instrumental in writing the Pete-SOLDIER 819 Moderator Reform Bill of 2003, which led to new jobs for TFFers and prosperity all around. This is one of many positions Pete has taken as a real maverick. He has stood up to the bigwigs in the Highbridge when it could have hurt his political career.

4. Pete steals from the rich and gives to the poor. He is famous for taking funds from the TFF treasury and distributing newfound wealth to the poor. The people loved him, but the coastal elite criticized him and forced his resignation. People still remember his courage in helping the poor, though.

5. Pete's suntan is an average of three shades darker than the other candidates. We need a moderator who can handle the heat!

Some of Pete's stances on the tough issues of the day:

1. Reduce gas to 1 dollar a gallon while reducing our independence on foreign oil.
2. Cutting out the lobbyists that infest the upper sectors of TFF's ruling class.
3. Supporting proper grammar education for all ages, so all posts will be legible.
4. Instituting sweeping moderator reform. Pete will throw the bums out.
5. He will restore TFF to the glory days of 2002-2003, when impressionable girls would post pictures of their asses for men that they don't know and when posting was abundant.

The choice is clear.

[Pete]

I would like to confirm that all of the above are true and that I support the above message of my dear friend and confidant James.

I would also like to declare that the Straight Talk Express is coming to a town near you!

[Sinister]

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant
...

...

...


><


CHECK PLEASE!!!!


-Sin

[Rocky]

The straight talk express! coming to a General Chat (And hoping to never land anywhere near the Intellectual Discussion) near YOU!

Have all of your topics discussed!

*Is Fuzz really an interplantary creature or he is a human being? If so would we change web admins because of this knowledge?

*Should newcomers be required to have a passing grade English 101?

*What are Pete's stances on treason, or other upper-level crimes within the community? Will Pete have amnesty for his fellow mods, or show them no mercy?

Ask all these questions, and more! The Straight town express, coming soon!!!*

*This message has been endorsed by the workers of the Pete Party.

[Pete]

Sinister's town first.

All I have to say is that amnesty will be granted for those who choose to become peaceful members of society. We have the Geneva convention and all that. Though, protesters will be met with a baton and/or tear gas.

[celebrity.skin]

I'm sold.

[Polk]

Just one question.

Will you teach my children? They need a hero.

[Sasquatch]

You had me at "impressionable girls".

You need a vast right wing conspiracy, I'll hook you up.

[Pete]

Polk, I will make your children some of the most learned that TFF has. Third grade educations, guaranteed!

And Sasquatch, I completely agree. You fire up the conspiracy mobile, I'll find us some womenfolk who love America and having their picture taken. The Dept of Defense position is yours if you so wish.

[Andromeda]

Ah Pete. Certainly entertaining read. I remember the whole giving yourself gil and handing it out to people. If I recall though left on your own afterwards as some sort of statement. It was a little strange, but unless something behind scenes happened I don't recall you being forced out.

Always got the impression you were not too interested in the position and being admin. Thought you just like posting.

Well I don't know how much you are just having fun to lighten things up and how much might be serious. But it should prove to be entertaining to watch. And not to sound old and elitists thinking about the old days, but I do miss 2002.

[dongs.]

Holy crap. That's the shortest post I've seen from Andromeda ever.

Not even joking.
I think this campaign is definitely good for TFF. It's exciting and controversial. Especially when people have to resort to talking about how our campaign is a bunch of pricks picking on the young and unappreciative of the English language. Hell, the majority of new members that come on here and post actual pretty pictures are probably fake. That's the internet, deal.

Anyway, I would continue to put more thought in here, alas, I have job. Will make post later.

[Govinda]

My poor baby lost both his legs and most of his face in a tragic run-in with Loco. Will you provide for him?

[Sasquatch]

The Dept of Defense position is yours if you so wish.

Is it a paid position? Ah, what the hell, I'll take it. Feed me, I'm yours.

Maybe I'd be better as the Secretary of Offense, though.

[Walter Sobchak]

My poor baby lost both his legs and most of his face in a tragic run-in with Loco. Will you provide for him?

Not only will Pete repair his body, but Cesar will be forced to come over, kneel, and apologize. The campaign will only pay for Cesar's flight to the UK one way, though, so whatever happens after that is up to you.

[Govinda]

Such generosity! You can keep Loco, though. I'd rather those funds go towards Pete's landslide victory. Every want of mine has been satisfied; I am sure he is a man who not only identifies with everyday TFF'ers, but a man who can take this forum on to great things on the international stage. He will defend our rights, our language and our homeland. What a guy!

[Aerif]

I find his opinion on 'Eurotrash' insulting.

Though it doesn't really matter what I think because I am too young to vote...

[Walter Sobchak]

Ladies and gentlemen, the campaign thanks you deeply. Pete needs your help as much as possible. The opposition has started a slanderous instant message system designed to hurt the vote and hurt TFF. We have tried to run a positive campaign, but some people are unhappy with the progress.

We cannot let that happen!

Make your voices heard. Do we want four more years of biased moderating and being a whiny little whistle blower? Or do we want a man with a proven track record of bipartisan reform? The choice is clear.

[Pete]

Eurotrash does not refer to all Europeans. Eurotrash is best defined here Urban Dictionary: eurotrash. I come as a friend and leader to all, except those of whom wish not to be led. They can get a swift boot in the rear.

Sasquatch, if you so wish, we can rename the Dept of Defense as the Dept of Offense, and yes, it's paid in both food, drink and a sweet paycheck, as well as some mighty fine guns at your disposal.

I approve of James' messages on my platform and support the above message.

[Sasquatch]

Sasquatch, if you so wish, we can rename the Dept of Defense as the Dept of Offense, and yes, it's paid in both food, drink and a sweet paycheck, as well as some mighty fine guns at your disposal.

Money, food and guns?

I gratefully accept the position.

Orders?

If you don't have anything else for me to work on, I'll start the plan to abduct -- err, "recruit" -- you a Vice S-Mod.

But first, I'm gonna make some rice krispy treat things. You know, for the good of the campaign.

[Sarah]

As I don't really talk to anyone, I'm so out of the loop with this. Is there really an opening for S Mod? Are there multiple people competing for the position? If there are, who are they? Or is this simply a form of satire of the US '08 elections?

Meh, I'll play along, anyway. Fun stuff. My assessment: I like Pete. I trust his judgment a majority of the time, although I do disagree with some of what he says from time to time. He'd make a decent S Mod.

The question is, though... What does Pete have to offer me specifically in return for my support? (I've got some campaign ideas that could go along very well with his promises.) TnA won't work, as I have my own and can get others any time I want. Food doesn't work, as I can't really eat it (I'm so not kidding at all). Guns would help persuade me some. I do like guns. Guns for all! Money is good; except our money isn't worth anything. Everything posted in the initial post is categorized among standard promises. I tend to be a bit skeptical of that.

So, whatcha got for me, Pete?

[LocoColt04]

No, this is an inside joke turned outside.

Hence the three "candidates" and me making Tiger Lily a supermod for about fifteen seconds last night. Now, all of the "candidates" have been supermoderators in the past.

[Sean]

Ever since my vicious assault by a eurotrash on these very forums, I've looked up to Pete. His policies regarding the handling and cleaning up of said eurotrash are the best I've seen yet.

He has my vote, guaranteed.


On a side note: this shit's hilarious.

[Victoria]

Technically there's only two candidates. Tiger Lily and Pete. I'm not participating in the joke, hence why you're not seeing me running about making up random political spiel and stuff.

That, and I'm not really good at this kinda stuff, so whatever. I'm kind of leaning toward Pete personally myself, because his stuff is the funniest of the two, and I don't see a picture of Lily with a flag in the background. =(

[Pete]

Sarah, I greatly appreciate your assessment of character. As for what I can do for you... I will revive the economy. The details are in the works, but rest assured, those ducats in your pockets will once again make you a king or queen in any nation. I'm talking stuff like, 20 bucks and some pocket lint will allow you to buy something like Spain. That's how great our economy will be.

I also fully support the idea of Cesar getting a one way ticket to the UK. He's admittedly abusing his powers, making people S-Mod's for shits and giggles, and banning upstanding members for 15 minutes at a time, JUST because the public asks difficult questions. The fatcats in Washington have been abusing their powers long enough!

[Govinda]

I also fully support the idea of Cesar getting a one way ticket to the UK. He's admittedly abusing his powers, making people S-Mod's for shits and giggles, and banning upstanding members for 15 minutes at a time, JUST because the public asks difficult questions. The fatcats in Washington have been abusing their powers long enough!

I am happy to offer the services of my airing cupboard for the good of TFF.

[Taco-Calamitous]

...and banning upstanding members for 15 minutes at a time...

I can attest to this! Those 15 seconds... I'll never forget! Utterly horrifying!

If I existed outside of a force-field nebula, Pete would certainly get my vote. Although... there was one time Tiger Lily did wish me a happy birthday, and gave me positive rep to boot... What has Pete ever done for me? Hmm....

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Phantom]

Pete, the unemployment rate has sky rocketed, and the hassle of finding the perfect job is tough, would you be able to create new jobs, especially for the less fortunate?

[LocoColt04]

I'd like to take a moment to pop in here long enough to say that some of you involved in the Visitor Message campaigning, while amusing, are going too far.

Let's NOT tell people that Pete is a rapist.

You know, that's not really cool, even in jest.

[OceanEyes28]

I can personally guarantee that Pete is not a child rapist or rapist of any kind. Being small in size, and totally adorable, I am often mistaken for a child. And yet, when I spent time with him very recently, there was no rape. In fact, he wouldn't even hug me with both arms!

Stop this mindless slander! I abhor mudslinging (that isn't amusing)!

Pete, you are the S-mod of my heart. Not a rapist. There is a difference. I want you (ALL OF YOU) to know that.

[Pete]

Honestly Rocco, that's really ****ed up and low. It's one thing to make exaggerated or irrelevant claims, but those things are legitimate slander, and just terrible things to say about anyone. I'm actually kinda mad about that. No bullshit.