Alternate Dissidia Cast

[Imposter]

FF1- Black Mage
FF2 - Minwu, or whatever his name was he seemed pretty legit and would be a funneh character
FF3 - Black Mage
FF4 - Edge would be an excellent choice but I think Yang with his moustache could throw down hardcore. Wait what about Tellah? He could have some sweet spoony bard lines when he wins a match.
FF5 - Faris - and all her class changes could be vaguely ambiguous so people aren't sure if she is a chick or not
FF6 Setzer or Edgar - I think a gambling system could be cool to incorporate where you bet gil to increase attack or something. Also Edgar's machinery would be fun to play with. Not to mention a Gerad skin swap haha
FF7 - Cid Highwind forsure
FF8 - Quistis. I mean who doesn't want a teacher with a whip beating down punks?
FF9 - Freya as well
FF10 - Auron - Every other character in the game has way too much personality
FF11 - Dark Knight class or something. With that big scythe
FF12 - Fran There should be more Viera in every FF...just saying.

wait there are other FFs past 12....psssh yeah right.

[Incognitus]

Locke is the lowest form of human fecal matter and you know it. Pretends he's cool when he isn't. Creates unnecessary party drama by being a bitch to Celes. Preserves girlfriend's dead body and leaves it to an old man underground. Abandons party and the world for the non-chance of saving aforementioned maggot-filled gf.

Horrible character.

Hold on.

Hold the **** on.

I cannot let this pass without a response. You chose Umaro over Locke? In Final Fantasy VI, Locke is the lowest form of human life when Gau clearly exists? Really?

...Really?

That feral teenager you pick up on the Veldt is better!? That simpleton obsessed with shiny things, monster abilities and veldts!? And Locke is the equivalent of scum? He's far less cooler than he thinks he is, but he's still better than that. Honestly. He steals some valuable stuff from enemies! Ribbons! Armors! Genji stuff! In some versions of the game, MORE GENJI STUFF! What does Gau do?

"Mr. Thou, Mr. Thou! Thou! Thou! Thou! Thou!"
*LEAP!*
(some time passes)
*A WILD CHILD APPEARS!*
""I'm Gau! I'm your friend! Let's travel together!"

Granted, even though he can be useful with the right combination of equipment/relics/rages, I choose to ignore Gau's existence when plot advancement allows. Sometimes I forget to retrieve him from the World of Ruin Veldt, instead pretending the end of the world put him out of his misery. To paraphrase a quote from The Office, if I had a gun with two bullets and I was stuck in a room with Cait Sith, Quina and Gau, I would shoot Gau twice.

And I'm not even going to get into Locke's theme v.s. Gau's theme. Not even close!

To the task at hand:

Answer Key:
"...Cid!" = no experience or memory of the game
"...Pirates!" = derisively mocking SOLDIER #819

FF1: Red Mage or Astos, the evil king of dark elves.
FF2: ...Cid!
FF3: ...Pirates!
FF4: Rydia or Rubicante.
FF5: Krile/Galuf (non-Pirates!). But really, the best character is already represented: Gilgamesh.
FF6: Edgar. Absolutely no contest unless Ultros is acceptable.
FF7: ...Cid! Cid Highwind. As long as he uses his cigarette to light dynamite at some point.
FF8: I guess Quistis, but a cactaur would have a more diverse and believable personality than anyone from this game.
FF9: Beatrix.
FF10: Kimahri.
FF11: ...Pirates!
FF12: Balthier.
FF13: ...Cid!