Fishie's Thread of Poetry

[Dimi]

Cheesy title. I know. So sue me.

For a while I've been writing little pieces of poetry here and there and I finally decided to post my own poetry thread. Do give me your guys' opinions (both good and bad) on what you think of them.

Here's my first two:


Shadow Knight
Shadow Knight, Shadow Knight.....
My shadow comes out to me,
And starts to fight
Taking over and now in control,
I start to change and refuse to console
Into the darkness of the night
I see a reflection of myself in the mirror
With the moonlight lighting up my room,
I look closely
Mad and furious,
I punch it and break it
Flustered and Agitatated,
I break down and cry
The tears finally come out
I just cry and I want to shout

I've been holding this all in
Now I'm letting it all go
I finally let the people I trusted,
I just gave them the right to know
Crying out tears of exhaustion
And my blood pouring out renewability
I just lye down
Pondering and thinking about what I've done

I cry out to myself
Thinking that I really need some help
I see my blade looking torwards me
I stand up and walk towards it
As I'm walking there's this part that's confused
I pick up the blade
I put it back down
And I soon start to frown
Why am I not hurting myself?
Why did I stop myself?
I just.....I just let it go
I put down the blade
I walk to my bed
Alive and not dead
I start to fall asleep
Tired and reliefed
The Shadow Knight fades away
I'm back to myself
And it is time that I stay


Weak and Alone
Weak and alone,
Oh so sad
The thought of delusion
Makes me mad

Persuaded by my thoughts, trapped within my fears
The cloudy atmosphere within, makes me shed no tears
The day is young and so am I
Everytime I smile,
It is just a lie
Clumped by my pain,
Clotted by my inhumane

Weak and Alone
Destructive and Bold
Darkish Heart,
Covered Ice Cold........


What do you guys think?

[CLOUD]

Fishie dude, it seems that we have more in common than just our names.

Unless you read my mind & have lived my life to write that kind of poetry...

These two pieces cannot be thoroughly understood by everyone, but i do know what you mean.

It's a kiskass "work", even if the title is...o_O....it gives another message. I thought you'd talk about the nature ...

[Shadow Of Darkness]

yeah,great work Fishie,thats really great.
Just keep em coming

[Xeim]

Great work bro. ^_^ I absolutely love your style of poetry! The way you make the lines rhyme, and the way everything flows.....I just feel like I'm floating along while i read it. There are some poems I read where I feel like I'm trying to slide down a rocky road (not the ice cream please), but with yours, I feel like I could fly. XD

The things you write about as well, they're really deep, and could be hard for some to interpret, but I understand them. They're beautiful. Straight from your heart.

I especially love this part:

I pick up the blade
I put it back down
And I soon start to frown
Why am I not hurting myself?
Why did I stop myself?
I just.....I just let it go
I put down the blade
I walk to my bed
Alive and not dead

I hope to see many more to come. ^_^

--Xeim--

[ChloChloAriadne]

Uh-huh. Cheesy title, but absolutely fantastic writing.

It's quite deep and personal, isn't it? It's brave to post something like that. But really, it's great. Worded beautifully. And the emotion it projects is so strong...

Well done.

[Dimi]

Thank you guys for your opinions. I really appreciate it. And yes Froggie, these are personal poems. I've written another one earlier today. This one is about how being an example to people that you're supposed to be a positive influence to but knowing that as a human you've made mistakes and you're being blamed for someone following in your footsteps even though you don't want them too....


No Matter
Everything you do wrong,
I'm blamed for
But to hear that you're copying me,
It straight up hurts to the core

You don't know how I feel,
You don't know what I see
Just back the **** off,
And just let me be

But I don't know what to believe,
Whether if this is an act or something real
No matter how many times you do it,
You will never know how I feel

When I hack away,
I wish the pain would just go away
Slicing through my flesh
I'm wishing that I was laid to rest
However,
Somehow I've been holding my head up
Keeping it all together
Piece by piece
I don't cut for attention
I cut for pleasure
Which is my true intention
But why do you do it?

You said that I was dumb and stupid,
You said that cutting was pathetic
But now that you're doing it
I really don't feel sympathetic

I can't tell what you're doing is fake,
By just knowing how you are,
I know times are tough
But if you look within,
Hope isn't that far

But no matter how much you do it,
The pain will still be there
Even though I am pissed at you
I will always love you and care

What do you guys think about it? (Positive and negative feedback would be nice. )

[ChloChloAriadne]

Like I said in MSN, this is absolutely fantastic. It's just so raw and emotional. Unlike alot of poetry with similar theme to this, it doesn't hide behind metaphor, which is definitely a good thing in this case.

Your writing is also very distinctive. Even if this wasn't in this thread, people would probably be able to tell that it's yours. Amazing, really. Well done.

[CLOUD]

Once again, it's like you wrote what's in my mind. Or at leasst part of it, if we exclude the cutting part. I'd probably cause a rampage or something like that.

I know what it is like to have everyone blame you even for breathing and for stuff you have nothing to do with. But that's one thing i can't understand; why do we still love them & care so much...

Another good pile o' words from the sea...deep and touching. Way to go.

[Dragoon_Nick]

Well Fishie...its..its just brilliant...its fantastic!

You have well described not only your feelings about some of your life's experience but moreover, your attitude and desire to move on...and that Fishie is golden in my opinion.

Your works were fantastic and i'm glad you notified me of your works....

bravo...

[Sinister]

Great works, bro. They have an expressed meaning even to the uninitiated. Stories and sagas of a life expressed in rhyme and verse. Don't ever stop writing, Fishie.

[Dimi]

Thank you guys once again for my opinions. I have four different poems I want to post right now, but instead I'll post two since I'm not liking the way the other ones are written. (Some parts of it are kinda just whack. >.<) But here's my other two...

The first one I'm sure that some of you know what this one is about. It explains how I've felt all along when I was with that person....

Afraid
The feelings that I have for you...
Have grown so strong
But something else has grown
Telling me its wrong......
I'm feeling sorry for myself,
What can I say?
I really want to be with you,
But I just cannot stay........

My heart beats for you,
Every second, every minute
But I don't deserve you,
I don't know what to do.....

We're getting closer,
As time flies by,
But if I told you happy being with you,
It would just be a lie......

I'm growing scared,
Afraid of us,
That's why I cannot be with you,
That's why I'm giving up.....

Everything is starting to get serious,
Our love as well,
Its starting to scare me,
Its not hard to tell.......

The way I act, the way I think,
I have to end this,
Faster then a blink,
Quicker then a phink
It has to end.....

Just know that I love you so much,
And just know that I always will,
I'm sorry I have to end this,
I will always love you still.......

Another one I've written has been recently. Its about going out and wanting to reach your goals. Whatever it may be and whatever you want, you just have to.....make or break.

Make or Break
Make it or break it,
Pushing myself up to the top,
Climbing up that ladder,
My body starts to drop.......

Make it or break it,
Holding on real tight,
Not giving up,
I hold on and fight.......

Make it or break it,
Starting to get tough,
No more wanting to fall.
I've had enough......

Make it or break it,
One step at a time,
Wanting to reach it,
The top can be mine.......

Make it or break it,
Bopping to the top,
Climbing back up that ladder,
My body doesn't drop

[Dragoon_Nick]

Well Fishie...strong and deep.

The first poem seems to be more about regret and decisions considering you know who. But nonetheless a decisions is lived by and i respect your attitude towards it. Very straightforward with deep meaning...

As for the second...it just reminds me of boxing for some reason. But the moral is strong and i love it.

This is some Gangsta poetry bro!

Bravo!

[Dimi]

I thought I'd bring back this thread instead of creating a new poetry thread of my poems. I've written two about two days ago and here they are. Feel free to comment them and give me some feedback on how they are....

Accepting

I've fallen from your eyes,
I've fallen from those high skies,
Have you forgotten me,
Have you?

You used to be a part of my soul,
But I cannot feel you, only my fears unfold...
Its taking over me and pushing you away,
Where have you gone?
I once believe you actually existed but now I'm not sure,

Are you a dream?
Or am I?

A facade of my darkest fears,
A reality of my hundreds of tears,
I no longer fear death...
I long for the deep sleep dreaming,
Nothing less,
No more weeping,
I don't understand this life nor will I ever will,
I'm no longer a part of you, I'm forever trapped..

Forgive me for these words I have said,
But sometimes it is better alive then dead,
But at the same time death would be sweet,
Buried under, only six feet,
Wherever my soul may go,
Forgive me Lord,
You have to know...
The way that I feel,
I deserve nothing good
The way that I live,
I have to let go...

Silent night is coming near,
Slowly its coming,
We'll soon disappear...

Only the unknown is what follows,
Will we ever know..
Is there really a tommorow?

I'll just close my eyes and play pretend,
Sleeping softly,
Until the end...

And here's another one....

Missing
Drowning Underwater
Falling Off The Cliff....
My world is dividing into two....


Darkness settles in,
While light fades out,
Atmosphere breaking,
Let your death undo...

I mourn for your death,
And I grieve for your soul,
Where can I find you,
where can I find you?

I allow myself to fall into these feelings,
The blue skies I once saw...gone,
Only dark clouds flood the sky,
But as I look into them, the grayness reminds me of you..
In ashes and away from this world,
I wish you were here,
I wish you were here....

[Furore]

Good poetry man. I think your absence has paid off in one way at least...
Your poetry's gotten even better.
It's dark, granted, but it has something special.
I think the first poem, 'Accepting', would be my favourite of the pair.

[Dimi]

Here's a few couple ones I've written the past two days. I decided to go back with somewhat of the rhyming and let me know what you think. (Both positive and negative =])

Somber Ways

Dark and Dull

Wretched and Null

Farther Away

Beyond the cold...



Stairway high,

Hallways within

Far from the end,

A journey begins...



Walking into the unknown,

Afraid of the dismays

Someone please lead me,

And someone show me the ways...



Somberness come forth,

Run into diverge,

Into the light,

Free from the purge



Stairway high,

Hallways within

Far from the end,

A journey begins...




Sky Night Cry

Sky Night Cry, Night Tide Blue

Blacken Sky

Sorrows Undo



Long Lasting Night Forever In Me

Hopelessly Lost

Willing to Flee



Protect Me From The Light That Radiants The Sky

Afraid From It

All ****ing Lies



In The Shadows Where I'm Safe And I'm Free

Return to Me

Sky Night Cry



Sky Night Cry, Night Tide Blue

Broken Heart

Sorrows Undo

[Dragoon_Nick]

Dude...that is insane...when did you develop those peotic skills!?
Somber Ways is by far the best thing i have ever read, and i don't read much...which isn't really helping my case, but my point is that i was glued to the screen for this one. Those other ones, deep stuff...maybe i'm an idiot, but i feel theres too many double meanings and depth to correctly analyse any of them. That being said, i congratulate you on equisite writing, so..umm...wow...just wow!

[Sinister]

I love "Sky Night Cry", Fishie. There's something about the waltzing rhythm and the words that's extraordinarily sad. It has a dark swaying pattern that loops, arcs and then folds back into itself again. It's not only literal acrobatics, but it really beautiful. It's amazing, Fishie. Good work.

-Sin

[Dimi]

Thanks guys. Really appreciate it. It took me a while to get Somber Ways the way I wanted it to be though. Some of the wording was a little off and it didn't flow the few times but I'm gald you guys like it.

These other two are different. One is called "Grotesque Queen" and the other one is "Gone".

Grotesque Queen has that dark and rhyme like the last couple ones I've written while "Gone" is more personal and sends out of the message of the poem more clearly then hiding behind metaphors. I started to write in tears towards the end of "Gone" because its about my mom. Well enjoy.

Grotesque Queen

Grotesque Queen

Forever my queen

Darkened Heart

Spineless and mean



Grotesque Queen

How I wish to forget your love

Always near me

Always push and shove



Grotesque Queen

Hidden inside the cold

Away from this world

Fallen to your woe



Grotesque Queen

Let me be

Haunted by your face

All I can see



Grotesque Queen

Forget me once again

Never come back to me

Never again...



Gone

I remember the days of the sun always shining strong
Always happy, nothing less
With skies ocean blue and clouds non-gray
Soon night comes
A beautiful moonlit display

I remember looking at you with a sincere smile
Looking back at me, smiling....
How I miss going back to that perfect world,
That dream...

How I miss it,
How I miss to see you smile again,
How I miss to be whole again,
What went wrong?

Now it pains me to see you sick,
To see you as someone else,
I beg you,
Get help...

Mom,
Don't leave me,
I don't want to lose you,
Its hurts me,
I miss you...

How I wish you were that person you once were,
Always strong, always there
I miss you mom,
I miss you...

[Dimi]

Time In My Hands

The time in my hands seem so long
Yet so short, my judgement went wrong...

The time in my hands are falling through,
Beneath the cracks,
Its falling through...

Like quicksand I soon sink into myself,
Always asking why,
Why, why, and why...

The time in my hands is ticking and its fading away,
But I'm so confused, can I stop this dismay?

The time in my hands will soon dissapear,
Will I fade away or will I reappear?

If I cease to exist but only in a state of mind
Is that where I shall go,
Sweet sacred time?

The time in my hands will soon pass me by,
Away in the heavens where angels will fly
Into the sky where life feels real,
Don't pass it away,
This brightful feel

[Dimi]

This was the poem I got frustrated writing last night. I haven't changed it since I'm really looking forward to your guys criticism on it. I'm not really too happy with this one but I'm interested in hearing what you guys have to say....

Six Feet Under

Deep in the ground buried with questions
Six feet under, lost from protection...

The meaning of life is what I wish to know
The meaning of death is what I wish to know

The light that I see,
Is guiding me underneath
Pulling me down,
Down through the ground

Into the underworld where my fears exist,
What I dread and what I need
I beg for salvation, I go down on my knees

Deep in the ground buried with questions
Six feet under
Away from protection

[Dimi]

Demise

My last redemption from your eyes
I've fallen away erased by lies,
What you want with me is something that will never work,
A falcon's flight, a deceased perk

As the shadows continue to haunt and torment,
I'm free from our past, free to forget,
But the final key is what holds me back,
Which is what you are my love, nothing else...

As I stand staring at your grave,
This is the last time you'll see me, the last time you will...
Scream in terror and shriek with fright,
The last time you will see me,
I wish you a good night,

Watch me as I walk away,
Into the night where I shall stay,
I ask you love, forget me once more...

My final goodbye,
Your final rest,
Goodbye my love,
I wish you the best

[Sinister]

Wow. That's very despondently romantic in harsh poetic terms. I like it. And feel I can relate. I kind of needed to read this poem, bro. It makes me feel better about something... Anyway. It's magnificent.

Worded well and timed well. Loved the second stanza. Brings me back.

Best wishes, bro. Best wishes.

-Sin

[Dimi]

Tainted Love

Oh her pain,
I hear her moan
My confused damsel in distress,
Why must you groan?

I hear her screams and I hear her cries,
I must save her or else she'll die,
Why love why?
I wanted so much more
Yet you pull me back again,
Something I can't ignore...

You cry and your grieve as you walk on broken glass,
Stuck in your sorrow, I feel this will last...
You can't have me but I'm willing to be your friend,
Just know that I'm here...here to the end

But at the same time you got me stuck in chains
This madness...have I gone completely insane?

My heart may be pure but my eyes see right through you,
I can't be with you...I won't allow it!
Bury me alive and throw me into my grave
Because with you in existence,
Its impossible to breathe...

You've lost my love and I can no longer take it
I'm willing to help you but you won't embrace it
Not as your lover but as your friend
This tainted love has gotten me again and again

[Dimi]

Frozen

A bitter winter comes and goes,
But somehow it stays,
I'm frozen in snow...

An icy chill comes within,
My hardened heart,
My freezing skin...

Internal pain,
Bleeding and stained,
My fallen honor,
Burned in flames

Turned into ashes.

Dark coal black...
How long must I stay strong and lie,
Before I break down and crack?

In this winter,
I am lost...

Consumed by this cold
I realize...
This chaos has got a hold

Bitter winter,
Forever here to stay,
Stuck in this blizzard
Frozen in dismay




Salvation

Take my hand and lift me up high,
Free me from that place filled with lies

What I once thought was real is no longer there...
I'm afraid I'm lost without you, its something I cannot bare,

I ask for your protection to help me through this suffering cold,
Yet I'm fighting by myself to be hopeful and bold...
But as I'm walking through the hazing snow,
I ask myself which way...which way should I go?

So many paths, so many turns
I feel so confused,
The sanity burns...

All this time...
I thought there was hope,
Hope that you were real,
Hope for your existance,
But hope that you could save me...

I cannot fight for what I used to believe in,
Its something I don't see, something I don't feel
Yet I'm torn apart, oh the confusion within...

Is this real or does my mind play games?
I feel myself changing...
I don't feel the same,

Show me some enlightment in this life I don't understand
I'm asking for salvation in the devil's land

[Dimi]

Suffer

Slipping down,
Bones are broken,
As in pain,
I fall down moping...

All I've wanted,
All I've acheived,
Stuck in despair,
I've been lied to and deceived...

The walls, they tell a story
Words that whisper,
My vision becomes gory...

This morbid thought comes to mind,
The sanity in me has ran out of time...

I've become delusional while stuck in this cell,
I've fallen to suffer in this silent hell...

All I've tried,
All I've become,
I wish to stop feeling this way,
And start to feel numb...

Because this guilt has got me chained in fear,
Am I the one to be blamed by your faults as I come crashing down in tears?

If your death had come, what would I do?
Would I go back to hurting myself,
But not blaming it on you?

I lay down as I'm being stabbed in the heart,
Because of you, my world is falling apart...

This cell...
My soul,
Is stricken to your bound,
The sanity in me,
Has fallen to the ground

[Dimi]

I actually took my time editing this poem. Mind you this poem may come off negative but has a positive message at the end.

Driven
Hurting me more then with words,
Anymore things you would want to say?
Break me down again and tell me...
And this time maybe you'll walk away?

Many things are dying,
In this place I call home,
Yet you sit there denying,
While you sit there laughing on the phone,

Don't you see dad?
He blows up and sits there screaming,
Don't you see the walls?
They stand there bleeding...

See mom?
And how she's gotten sick,
She's been there for us,
But now she's falling quick...

Hurting me more then words,
Anymore things you would want to say?
Break me down again and tell me,
And this time maybe you'll walk away?

See you,
And how you're getting out of control?
****ing up,
You're acting like a fool...

I want better,
I want happiness,
I want success,
I don't want this...

See me before?
And how I've fallen far worse then you have?
See why I'm not going back there?

My mistakes,
My falls,
I won't let myself be broken...

I'm coming back up,
And I'll be fighting my way back,
My actions will soon be spoken,

This home,
My life,
Is what really want to change...

My heart,
My drive,
I can feel them growing in my veins,

Hurting me more then with words,
Anymore you would want to say?
Don't break me down again and tell me,
This time I'll walk away...

[Bleachfangirl]

Grotesque Queen is a bit confusing. Maybe because it is so simple. It kind of gives you this strange feeling of anger...I wonder why.

Fishie, your poems are very deep and personal. That might be why they actually sound real and so good. I like the way you write. I'll just talk about the overall, and mostly, your poems are split into two categories for me:
-hurt/confusion/wonder (i.e. Salvation and Frozen)
-uplifting

I'm not entirely positive if that's how you meant for them to come across, so sorry if that's a totally botched up thought. Both of your rhymes and normal poems are very good though.

[Dimi]

Thank you Bleachfangirl. You're write about how these poems are perceived. Those are the main two categories they're either in if I had to categorize them. Every single one these poems reflects or is based on things that I have or am going through. I like to write it down sometimes. I've tried going without rhyming but I feel like I'm out of my element for some reason. I'm used to just writing like that. Other times, they have to be powerful or it has to flow really good in order for me to like it. I'm my worst critic I guess but thank you.

[Dimi]

Nightmare

The beginning of this nightmare from which I stand,
I cannot fight the darkness in your hopeless land,
I hide and I run but I won't search and I won't seek,
I must find a way to save myself from this endless bleak,

I live in this nightmare of which you had created,
It is crystal clear to me that you are fallen and jaded,
Don't pull me in with your love suffocating me in lies,
Watch as I awaken while your love for me dies,

But I cannot awaken but I won't give up,
A way to save you, a way to save us...

But you got me confused on how I feel,
I'm going back again, back to your disgusted deal,
In this nightmare of which we're intertwined,
A ask for a light, a light of divine...

To guide me through,
And pull me through,
Beyond the abyss,
What shall I do?

The beginning of this nightmare from which I stand,
I will fight the darkness in this hopeless land,
I won't hide and run but I will search and I will seek,
A way to save myself from this tormented bleak...

[Rikkuffx]

Fishie,your writings always amaze me. I've never really replied before but this one is really cool. I'm also a writer so as a writer to another writer,a job well done! Keep it up hun,the imagery is wonderful and I love how you word things.