I have a dream...

[Clint]

I must be from the future, because I literally carry nothing around in my pockets. I put everything I need in my European carry-all.

People shouldn't have to carry physical money around anymore, because make-believe money activated through credit is becoming all the rage. Plus that way, the government can see what you buy, which is a problem for me, because I buy a lot of crystal meth.

As for cell phones, soon everybody will systematically realize how gay they actually are, and discontinue all use.

[Sasquatch]

I put everything I need in my European carry-all.
...
As for cell phones, soon everybody will systematically realize how gay they actually are, and discontinue all use.

Says the guy who carries a purse?

I actually carry quite a bit of stuff, too. Let's see.

Left front pocket:
Cell phone
Cigarette pack and lighter (if I'm carrying them at all)

Right front pocket:
Chapstick
Keys:
Apartment building key
Apartment inner door key
Apartment outer door key
Garage door key
Mailbox key
Truck key
Truck remote
"Class of 2003" keychain with little carabiner (present from sister)
"Impact Rewards" keytag (very rarely used anymore)
County Market "Preferred Perks" keytag

Right rear pocket (wallet):
-Left side:
One dogtag
Fishing license
Military drivers' license
Year-old set of military orders (taking out)
Post-it note with bank info
Padlock key
-Large pocket:
Cash
-Large rear pocket:
$2 bill (present from grandfather)
-Center section:
Picture of niece
College ID
VA ID
Drivers' License
Military ID
-Right side:
Sam's Club card
Coupon for $10 off a meal at a local restaurant from last Father's Day
QDoba card (never even activated)
Gamestop card (never used)
Bank card (like a business card) with bank info for different account
Papa John's card (one more pick-up and I get a free pizza)
Burracho's card (never used)
Membership card to gun range
Old half-broken debit card (taking out)
New, functional debit card
Debit card from old account (taking out)
Business card for VA psychiatrist
Business card for retired Marine friend who helps people with PTSD
Tiny scrap of paper with name and number of somebody with land for sale last year (taking out)
Certificate of Completion for Army Accident Avoidance Course
Soldiers' Code / Warrior Ethos card (seven years old)
Soldiers' Creed / Warrior Ethos card (probably about five years old)

Yeah ... I'm alright with that. My wallet is a little thick, but less than an inch. It'd be thinner if it wasn't a tri-fold, but I haven't bought a wallet in probably six or eight years. Maybe it's about time for a new one.