This is one of those cases of "if you have to ask, then you can't do it". There are some laptops made by the custom makers that could possibly be upgraded given the right skill set, but the vast majority of laptops, it would be a no. Laptops aren't currently designed to have their parts upgraded, other than throwing in some extra RAM. You're pretty much stuck buying a new one.
Don't listen to people who say that getting a desktop is the way to go... Buy the type of computer that fits your needs, whether it is a desktop or a laptop. Intel/AMD are driving PC enthusiasts insane with their constant shifting of socket/chipset designs every bloody year. If you want to upgrade in today's age it means gutting half the system or more and replacing those pieces. You can't just pop in a better processor and keep going. Well you can go from like an i7 930 to 950 in the same socket type(careful the ones coming out soon are NOT compatible even though they have the same name! ), but it would be rather stupid, as it wouldn't be that much better. Need more power? Time to shell out the big money. /sigh
Secondly, don't ever get a computer without a dedicated video card. The built-in Intel graphics, etc is NOT designed to play games. They may claim it can, but it will never be as good as having a dedicated Nvidia or ATI graphics card in it.
And finally, FFXI is not a video-card intensive game, it is a processor-intensive game. If your processor sucks, the game will play badly no matter how good your video card is. Same goes for FFXIV. I've got the best video card on the market and it still plays like shit because of my old processor(waiting for the new ones to come out soon).
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