Writers Academy (Previously Demonia)

Name: Zoe Patterson

Age: 18

Appearance: Straight hair which is shaped around the front with each side of the chin-length fringe cut into a "V" shape. The rest of the hair falls to the mid-back, the top layer coloured a dark red, the bottom layer a midnight blue which in places merges with the red. Eyes are very dark brown, appearing black. Skin colour is white with a slight mediteranean tan. Petite in stature at a height of 5'1'' and weight of 7 stone. Wears mid-blue jeans with a black leather mini-skirt, a small black leather jacket and black leather boots. Top is a brown corset-fronted vest top. A Quincy cross is worn as a pendant on two silver necklace chains with a third chain worn with them, and black and white beads are worn on the wrists. Glasses have black frames with a yellow-green rim.

Personality: Laid back and interlectual with a sarcastic wit and slow to anger (however if enough anger buils up, it explodes). Has a dislike for "trendy" people to previous school experiences, however to those of similar minds is a caring and loyal friend.

Background: Recently passed her A-levels in Biology, Art and English at a Sixthform College in a small town in Hampshire, England, she joined the Writers Academy to amplify her creative skills in the forms of written communication and fictional writing. She has experience in roleplaying, and little experience in roleplay battling. Has a liking of animals, especially reptiles, amphibians and cats.

I'll post my RPB character either tonight or tomorrow night as i'm currently finishing an assaignment for uni.

I forgot to say something in a previous post of mine.

I'm going to give Red a time limit to post a battleground for the tournament. We can't just sit idly by and wait for him. We have to start this thing some time soon. I'll PM him to remind him of what we need, and give him about a day or two warning, and if he doesn't provide, then he'll just be dropped from the tournament. >_>;

Which reminds me... MusicMuse? Where did you go? D: Do you want to be in the tourney? =D?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Toph Bei Fong

I forgot to say something in a previous post of mine.

I'm going to give Red a time limit to post a battleground for the tournament. We can't just sit idly by and wait for him. We have to start this thing some time soon. I'll PM him to remind him of what we need, and give him about a day or two warning, and if he doesn't provide, then he'll just be dropped from the tournament. >_>;

Which reminds me... MusicMuse? Where did you go? D: Do you want to be in the tourney? =D?

---

I'm so sorry everyone. I'll post a battleground right away. as for my character I will be using my beloved Kai

BATTLEGROUND
Seaside Ruins

a crumbled old temple lay in ruin on a beach in a far off land. the temple is crumpled but still is very large and is a great battle ground filled with lots of different pillars sticking out of the ground. the battlefield has many obstacles including the entire innards of the late temple. mostly everything is charred and crushed but it grew hard after centuries. everything that lies on the beach is from the temple and it is all very strong and sturdy. lot's of different pillars which are still in tact stick out of the ground at up to 8 feet tall. in the middle of the messy remains of the temple lies an open space, nothing but the sand, this space is about 10 feet wide and 11 long. at any given moment the violent waves of the nearby ocean lash out at the ruins and bits and pieces of the temple shift around and fly through the air. t he waves are powerful and if one is hit by them he could be stricken to the ground.

And thanks for that info, Red. We can finally get the tournament under way. I'll just randomize the battlegrounds and then make the threads. Obviously I don't make an intro like Alexander did, I'll just post what ground you fight in, and you guys take it from there.

So, how long til the start of this all?

Well I assume most people have stuff to do during the holidays, which is like.. tomorrow and the next day. Unless people don't mind the threads being up now and you all just post when you're ready and able to. If so, I'll have the threads up later today.

Edit: I've gathered all of the battlegrounds and am currently going to put them through a randomizer (A single d9 die. Whee?). Once that is done, the threads will be made. Feel free to start up your intros after the holidays are over, thank you.

Edit 2: The threads are finally up for those who are curious. I have set up the end of the round for three weeks from now. If that is insufficient for some, please let me know and it will be extended.

Talk about bad timing, heh. Personally I would have waited until after New Year's to start. I would have mentioned it earlier, but I've been taking a break from the computer. Between working and the holiday celebrations and such I just haven't had the inclination to do anything online.

I'd suggest extending the first round an extra week to make up for the one that's already been lost and perhaps send reminders on January 2nd, once everyone's properly recovered from any alcohol induced celebrating. ;)

~DragonHeart~

Good idea, DH. I'll go ahead and put an extra week. And I'll PM reminders and such on the 2nd. I didn't know you took a break from the computer, heh.

Double Post for great justice!


Where are you, Storm and Evangel? I know Storm was busy with college and stuff until recently, but what about Evangel? >_>;

I'd appreciate if one of you posted asap, otherwise there would be no point of the 10 person tournament to begin with. XD

the timing of the tourney was terrible no offense. so many people are busy recently.

Well then why don't you people speak up, then? I don't know these things. I can't read people's minds. Nobody said anything, so there you go.

Don't put the blame on me. =\
I said straight from the beginning that if the time was bad, to say something. But no one said something.

Speaking of delays, aren't you supposed to be participating too, Toph? I've been waiting almost a week for you to post. If you're busy you should also have said something. Activity goes both ways, after all. ;)

~DragonHeart~

Since Uryu hasn't been on (due to your reason, Toph) I have decided to wait until he posts first so he can actually get something in before he gets back to college. If someone opposses to this, I may simpathize with you with a good reason. Also, mid-term finals here are coming in close and a few personal things have arisen. Even if Uryu does post in the next couple days, I still may not be abel to get in a post. Or at least a good one.

I'm not busy at all. I just didn't know you posted until today. -_-; I haven't been on TFF in days. I've been playing Tales of Symphonia.

TALES OF SYMPHONIA! YAY!

~cough~ Anyway, I havn't actually said it to anyone on here but happy new year guys =].
I'm reading all the fights and I actually (not trying to sound bias) think myself and Darkwolf had a difficult one right from the word go, such a difficult field to go in. Nevermind though I'm trying to make the most of my char's abilities to get through that.

Red and PM's fight is quite interesting, though Red really needs to change the short stubby thing to tall and well built or something, wouldn't change the fight but would make the 'story' more fluent.
Also, it seems to lack some coherance at some points, like Red said he saw him feet away yet PM said he had to search with shadows beings for his opponent. Yet, I like how both of them are handling things. They seem to be working quite well together and so far neither of them have used any stupidly inescapable moves.

As for Toph and DH's, I like the contrast in character. And the attention to detail is beautiful, much more than I thought to put. I can't really see much I don't like about this but then, that's why I'd make a crappy judge.

Shame about the other two, particulaly Xeim's because that post is great.

As for the topic of exams, I have them too. 2 in most subjects, Law, Eng, Psych. I'm finding time to write whilst I revise even if they arn't particulaly great posts, which they arn't.

Bah, whatever anyway =].

So whens the inner Rp going to start anyway?

Thanks, Aimee...

Well it's the 21st, almost the 22nd. Yet I saw wolf and hyz post anyway. Yeah....

Did you not notice that today was the deadline? -_-;
So the posts you two made today don't count in the judging, when aerif judges the rounds.
...If Aerif is still around?

Aerif replies exactly one hour later... er... two... Stupid time zones...

Anyway I've started judgment, it shouldn't take too long because the Evangel/Storm is non-existant. We'll need to find a way around that barrier...

If nobody posts then I'll edit results in here.

Ciao

In my defense I thought that the deadline meant that that was the last day I could post rather than it being the day before it so...

Anyway, looking forward to the judgement. =]

Aimee.

Evangel vs. Uryuu Ishida
Overview: N/A

Winner: Automatic forfeit on both sides, this may be appealed if good enough justification is given for reason to be unable to post. Simply that you did not want to have to post first is unnacceptable.

Xeim vs. Psiko
Overview: This match only contained one post but may still be evaluated:

Xiem
Writing Technique: 8/10
Realism: 7/10 (Description of the arena and the character seemed to be believable in the beginning, the score would've been 10 if your description of Luedeth's realisation had been a little better. The fact that she's so spiritual should have realistivally prompted you to write a little more about the discovery of the intruder.)
Fight Technique: 0/10 (No fighting took place)
Use of Enviroment: 3/10 (Though no fighting took place, the initial description of the arena was good enough to earn you points)
Post Flow: 0/10 (Only one post was created)

Penaltys: N/A, penaltys presented wouldn't be fair with only one character.

Total Score: 18/50

Psiko
Writing Technique: 0/10
Realism: 0/10
Fight Technique: 0/10
Use of Enviroment: 0/10
Post Flow: 0/10

Penaltys: N/A, penaltys presented wouldn't be fair with only one character.

Total Score: 0/50

Winner: Xiem

Red vs. Prodigal Madness
Overview:
Red
Writing Technique: 3/10 (Lack of pro-nouns, punctuation errors, etc.)
Realism: 5/10 (What really concerns me is the main leap into a 'fireball' it seemed a little moddish and fakeish)
Fight Technique: 4/10(No real fighting went on though I did like the recurring element theme. Points came off for the apparently over-powerful technique taking place in the first round of fighting)
Use of Enviroment: 1/10 (Enviroment wasn't really elaborated on, also in Post 2 it was barely mentioned, you could've been fighting anywhere)
Post Flow: 8/10 (A traditional, watching point of view was taken by your character. While this is acceptable an RPB should really keep the fight going, we already read what was happening with Malaeth. What about Kai?)

Penaltys:
-5 Inacurate and rather degrading description of enemy. You could've edited this out but for some reason you didn't...

Total Score: 16/50

Prodigal Madness
Writing Technique: 9/10 (Your technique kept me feeling fascinated, I was anticipating the next post but it never came, hence -1 mark, also another mark was lost due to the dark purple's usage. A more neutral colour would've been better owing to the bulk of TFF using the 'Dark' Skin)
Realism: 10/10 (Basically you hit the nail on the head, this post is very in-character and doesn't bend too many laws of physics :P)
Fight Technique: 2/10 (Not a lot to say, it wasn't a very well described attack...)
Use of Enviroment: 5/10
Post Flow: 0/10 (You only made one post and it didn't really tie in with the first post very well)

Penaltys: You never replyed to the attack so no penalties will be granted

Total Score: 26/50

Winner: Prodigal Madness

DragonHeart vs. Toph Bei Fong
Overview:
DragonHeart
Writing Technique: 9/10 (Perfect and a real intresting read, but when I had to set myself to actually read it I found it tedious at first. I warmed up to it but it's a bit of a touch-and-go thing. Something about your posts didn't quite seem the usual 10/10 material I've seen you produce)
Realism: 10/10 (The dragon was done with great portrayal, me like dragons...)
Fight Technique: 6/10 (You didn't really give much opportunity for Kana to avoid attacks you only really managed to get these points for doing so well in coping with Kana's clones
Use of Enviroment: 6/10
Post Flow: 8/10 (The only thing I didn't like was the little parts that could've been taken exactly from Toph's posts. It's better to continue a battle by assuming the reader has read the previous post. They don't want to read the same thing twice)

Penaltys: -5 You controlled Kana at points by allowing him to automatically block every attack, Toph may have wanted him hit for points in realism.

Total Score: 34/50

Toph Bei Fong
Writing Technique: 9/10
Realism: 8/10 (I didn't like the mix with MP3 players in a world of dragons. Also, the clone attack was almost god-modding material, not quite but it almost forced DH into taking a hit)
Fight Technique: 7/10 (I loved the fact that you attacked within the first post, if it hadn't been for that clone attack it would've been a 10)
Use of Enviroment: 5/10
Post Flow: 7/10 (Mainly same problems as DH. Though there was something about your intro post that didn't really attach to DH's intro)

Penaltys: I was going to penalise you for the moddish attack but you paid for that in other areas

Total Score: 36/50

Winner: Toph Bei Fong

Darkwolf vs. Hyzenthlay
Overview:
Darkwolf
Writing Technique: 6/10 (Perfect bar the incorrect usage of some words. Basically what DH did with 'posse', they where real words but did not make sense when looked at in detail. I also found a spelling mistake or two. Also having brackets in speech means that your character would speak them. I don't think he was meant to say '(He almost choked, but he spat it out anyway)')
Realism: 10/10
Fight Technique: 8/10 (Not bad, a little pyrokinesis and sword movement but the speed of which seemed a little bit too hard to avoid. Very well presented, regardless.)
Use of Enviroment: 2/10 (There was a lack of content to write about the enviroment, but it may as well not exist from your side of the fight. You neglected to make any use of the enviroment past the intro.
Post Flow: 9/10 (Your last official post worked well with Hyz's post. It flowed almost perfectly. However one thing, had your last post been part of judging you would've lost a lot of marks, in your last post you spent more than half of the post talking about Hyz's last post. Not really good flow...)

Penaltys: None

Total Score: 35/50*

Hyzenthlay
Writing Technique: 8/10 (Nothing terrible, just quite a few spelling words and using the space bar at the wrong time. I suggest you type up things in MS Word or another word processor that has active spell-check)
Realism: 10/10
Fight Technique: 9/10 (I particuarly liked the way you dealt with some of Darkwolf's attacks)
Use of Enviroment: 3/10 (Not a lot of detail but you managed to use the fog to your advantage)
Post Flow: 8/10

Penaltys: None

Total Score: 38/50*

Winner: Hyzenthlay


---

Disclaimer:

Please remember that points are given on the scale of the competitors, meaning that comparing points obtained in different matches will not work

Nice judging, Aerif, however...

A loss of 1 point just cause of text color? =P I didn't know text color had anything to do with writing. XD; Although you have a point.

And the post flow... well, it's not PM's fault that Red wasn't very good. =\
And Red didn't even really have an attack... he just powered up a DBZ aura of flame. o_O

But anyway, other than that, it's pretty good.

I was somewhat stuck on what to do with DH's darkness, even though it wouldn't have lasted very long. I wanted to come up with a new technique, but no such luck on what to do. Perhaps I should have used a different character, or come up with techniques beforehand, who knows. All in all, it's really my responsibility that our fight didn't have many posts.

Hyz: Thanks for you comments on the post. ^^

Aerif: Thanks for grading mine even if the batle didn't go anywhere. Though, isn't it a little unfair for me to get marked down on things I couldn't do anything about...? Ah well. I can just do the math. I missed what...12 points I could do something about?

As for the inner Rp, I still need to make my character. I'm recovering from illness, so I'm not feeling very creative right now. -_-

So...the tournament's obviously not over. About how long until the next "round" starts up, you think? I would like to get the inner Rp rolling, but that DOES depend on a lot of factors. One thing's kinda for certain: people have until a little after the end of the tourney to get their characters in.

^^; Not much more for me to comment on right now, so I'll be on my way.

--Xeim--

Well, you need to remember that the only condition for winning is to get more points than your opponent. Though I do admit some things where a little harsh. I didn't mean for the things you didn't do to determine your total skill, you've advanced to the next round Xeim, of course I can't tell you who your up against, because partially I've not checked and I've yet to mark two matches.

The one I'll be doing next is Dragonheart and Toph's match. It will probably be up before the 25th January. But the threads are getting longer ;!

Double posting... But only so that the thread appears to be updated!

The Toph and DragonHeart match has now been judged... The last battle will be judged for the 26th January, 9:00pm GMT

Link for reference: Link'd

Okay... what the hell?

There were no spelling errors at all in my post. Ask Microsoft Word. And my clone wasn't modding at all. There was only one. Not multiple. And it wasn't two against one. The real character was hidden somewhere, so I have no freaking idea, how that could possibly be modding.

And this is a tournament, with no set timeline, realize this please. We can do anything we want. It doesn't have to have a set timeline or something like that. You'd be surprised that beasts of lore and things like that exist in present times or what have you, in other stories and such.

I honestly don't even know HOW DH lost by one point. That's just bullshit to me. She's clearly the better writer. And of course my intro didn't attach. All intros hardly do. Intros are usually done by assuming how your opponent appears into the arena, which isn't really a nice thing to do, because your opponent may have wanted to make a certain kind of appearance, like mine did.

And who cares if you like something or not, that's criticizing, not judging based on points. Pure bullshit, again. It's like you give points to things you like, and take things away on things you don't like, whether they're still done well or not. -_-;

The biggest beef I have, is with the alleged moddish attack, when really, like I said before, was clearly not.
--------------------------
Honestly I was kind of hoping the judging style would be like the TOA, where each post is judged individually. And not together like it's an RP or something. Sure flow is a category for judgement, but it's more flow within your own writing, than it is with your opponent. I know it is entirely my fault for not specifying how I wanted the tournament to be judged and I take responsibility for that, but at the same time.. geez..

I don't think a point system is very good for judging. Because points are more of someone's opinion, instead of actually critiquing how someone's writing is. I don't know.. I can't really describe well what I want to say.

Toph, calm down. Last time people started being so reactant the club imploded, a rather good RPBer got banned and a bunch of members left.

If you would like me to re-assess the thread whilst bearing the things you mentioned in mind I would be happy too. But you must remember that I'm viewing these threads from a spectator's point of view, read through a thread and you'll see that seeing something being repeated, something that you've already read is irritating.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Toph Bei Fong

If she slashed out successfully at one of his clones, she would be electrocuted.

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If you didn't mean clones, then I'm sorry, however that's how you spelt it out to me, the letter 's' has importance.

As for the spelling, well, sorry on closer inspection it was DH who mis-spelt words, the use of the plural of the word 'posse' instead of possess. I saw this as your mistake accidently, I think there may be a few other similar instances here and there. You've been refunded >.>;

Strangely, it sounds like you wanted to lose... I agree that DH is the better writer (likely the best writer on TFF) so I'm not quite sure what happened there. However, according to TFF RPB rules your not allowed to control another person's character.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LocoColt04

Even if you're throwing an attack at the character, and you say that he dodges it and then you attack again, you're godmodding. What if your opponent had wanted to take that hit?

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DH would've won had it not been for that instance of rulebreaking, Toph you may not be as skillful in literary forms and such, however there was very little wrong with either yours of DH's posts. However the RPB forum rules say that what DH did was a no-no.

If I'd wanted to offend or upset you in anyway I'd tell you something along the lines of: You suxxor at RPB. But that wasn't my intention. All in all, DH's (probably accidental) rulebreaking is what won you the fight. You could always forfeight your position or get a re-judge, but DH broke a rule, you can't really argue with it. Sorry.

I'd just like to put in my opinion about copying parts of your opponent's posts. Although they may seem repetative, it gives a good description about what exactly you character may be reacting to, to sort of rewind time to show that this isnt some final fantasy turn-taking battle. RPB's are about writing a story about a real-time battle. Therefore, a character could react just after the other did something. Well that's about it, can't wait for all of the battles to be finished being judged.

*sigh*

Don't assume on my behalf, please. I'm not a noob. If I had an issue with that, I would have told DH right then and there, but I did not obviously. So there's that. Take it how you will.

And honestly I kind of deserve to lose because I was somewhat lazy with the battle to begin with, so honestly with that in mind, I don't deserve to win. At least not like that.

But anyway.. this whole thing isn't turning out as well as I'd hoped it would.

And I re-read all the judging, and it seems things really are graded on what you like and don't like. That's called bias. And you know, you're not a spectator, you're a judge. There's a difference. Sure it may be irritating to you to read repeated things, but so what? That's not a part of judging criteria. If it irks you, that's your problem.

well looks like I lost my match, knew it would happen, I'm a n00b and PM is reall good.

I wanna thank both MP and Aerif for the fight and the judging.

Jesus H Christ Toph. No offence but her judging seems pretty sound to me, it makes sense. She presented reasons for all that you scrutinised and still you tried to say she was just using her own personal judgement. That doesnt make sense, how can she be biased unless she supports a side? She clearly doesn't she's giving points, examples and explanations... all the key things when you judge something.

Adding to it, she didnt actually knock a point off of PM for the purple writing, if you look she says "I was anticipating the next post but it never came, hence -1 mark". Thats the only mark that was deducted.

You really do get far too heated, is it so bad that you won? Laziness doesnt take points away, you can see how lazy somebody is via their writing.

Another thing whats all this "how I wanted" crap? This is a club not entertainment for yourself. So even if it doesnt suit your view's hold your tongue till the end, it isnt over yet.

Aimee.

It's honestly not all that sound. And Aerif may have explanations, but they're really not all that thorough or clear. And by bias, I mean grading distinctly on what you like or don't like about something. That's really not how judging is supposed to be.

Really all Aerif did was state what he did/didn't like about the posts, with little detail about why. ...That really doesn't help improve with people's writing, does it? Not really, from my viewpoint. And.. this, heated? I don't think so.