Parents forcing beliefs onto their children?

[Chez Daja]

I heard about these strict Christian parents one time, abusing their children physically if they didn't agree with their own beliefs.

After reading this story, I decided to talk to my mother about it. She told me of how, when she was young, she was forced to go to this strict Catholic school, where if you opposed ANY beliefs of the catholic faith whatsoever, you would be physically punished.
I listened to her and was disgusted at this.

The point of the thread is... Do you think it's fair for parents to force their beliefs onto their children, even if the children don't agree with it?

I don't. After listening to stories, I feel it's unfair of parents to put their children through torture if they don't believe the same things as them.

It's funny, because even though this was way more of an issue long ago, it still actually goes on today. I've read about it in many places, and I don't understand why parents would go this far to force these things onto their children if they're really intent on not learning.

Personally, I think the child will be less willing to learn if they get beaten or slapped for thinking of things otherwise. The kids that do speak out are damn brave.

What do you guys think?

[Walter Sobchak]

Is this a serious question?

Of course it is wrong for parents to attempt to physically force their belief onto their offspring. No one, except for the aforemention parents, would agree with this.

Every parent wants their child to believe the same things that they do. Their values and religious affiliation. If we did not want them to believe that, we would show that we arent comfortable in our belief system. But part of letting your children mature into adulthood is to let them make their own decisions.

[Yuki-onna]

Parents that want/force their children to believe their own opinions and standpoints, should be shot.

**** 'em.

I knew a girl who had the shit kicked out of her because she wasn't a racist like her father. She believed in people being equal. And anytime she spoke up for people being bad mouthed by the mother****er, she'd get godsmacked. Yeah. Did that sway her? **** no. You can't force something onto someone.

You can try, but you shall never succeed.

You shall end up in a wheelchair.

Drooling.

[Chez Daja]

To be honest, I just woke up when I wrote this. Meh.

Not only physically, but in any fashion, really. I was just stating that many do use physical abuse against their kids to make sure they get that they're completely serious.

When I was younger, I was taught Catholic beliefs, even though only my mother is Catholic. I grew up, pretty much questining Catholic beliefs, and in the end, wasn't really too sure about it, hence no longer being of this catholic "label" hanging over my head.

My mother wasn't too happy when she realised of my "conversion", almost "self-discovery", you could say. But she never, in any way attempted to force her religion on to me.

So lemme rephrase this topic:

Do you think it's fair for parents to force their beliefs on their children in any fashion?
And should they automatically expect them to listen?

-Thanks for pointing out my post. Bleh. I think I was able to word it better this time.



Xantcha, yeah... I know somebody who was abused for not being rascist like one of their family members... I still have the scars to prove it... heh.

[Walter Sobchak]

There is something to consider.

If you live under their house, you should have the intelligence to not go around and trying to stir up conversations pertaining to these subjects. Just be quiet about it. After all, who pays the bills?

But you can believe however you want. When you enter adulthood, your parents will begin to respect you more and more.

Ultimately, the physical abuse is wrong.

[Xahrackus]

Of course I go against the physical abuse, but parent's beliefs are always sent upon children. Liberals act like liberals, conservatives like conservatives, Catholics like Catholics, ect. Every child yearns to be like their parents. Thus, they emulate what their parents do. It doesn't have to be overt, but little by little that child adopts like quirks that their parents have, such as religion, political views, and language accents. While teenagers aren't as impressionable, subliminally they almost always think "what would my parents think about me doing this?" or "What would my parents have said concerning this government race?"
Views like this ingrain into your minds. Rarely do you find a family where the parent is republican and their children are democratic. Not always overtly, like beating them into submission until they acknowledge Catholocism, but it happens.

[Chez Daja]

If you live under their house, you should have the intelligence to not go around and trying to stir up conversations pertaining to these subjects. Just be quiet about it. After all, who pays the bills?

I never said they lived with me, did I?

Xahrackus has an excellent point, although I wouldnt exactly say that every child wants to be like their parents. A lot are, due to genetic structure and having their genes passed on, obviously, but me? I never wanted to be like my parents. Mainly because a lot of the time, they were dicks. And I don't mean "they wouldn't let me do what I wanted", it was more along the lines of "I found it impossible to compromise with many things they said, and also disagree with many of their veiws". They had a horrible way of sorting problem out as well. Luckily, I don't have to live with that.

[Zardoch]

Forcing believes (anykind, religion, morals, values) today from parents is probably one of the main problems with children in our society today. People don't seem to understand anymore that children are children, not full grown comprehensive adults. Therefore, they take them to church thinking they'll understand who is God or Jesus, make them read a bunch of shit, and suspect all of this information to be the only thing they believe. No one see's the innocence in children anymore and blame them for video games, movies, shit that doesn't even count.

As I have said before, this is what I call the "Finger Pointing Era" where parents and others do not wish to accept anything but someone or something else is what caused something wrong to go happen. They live in this fear of being wrong to where they don't even notice how illogical they are acting. Teaching good morals to a kid is one thing, but telling them "this is true and nothing else isn't" and then suspecting them to nod their head and spread the word is a virus of stupidity. Yes, these parents should be shot.

If we could make them realize this things may change. Sadly, they'd probably just blame the media rather than listen to us.

[Walter Sobchak]

I never said they lived with me, did I?

I never said I was talking about you. In fact, I was referring more to kids that go out of their way to flaunt their belief system as superior to their parents. Its perfectly normal to question your parents belief system and differ from it, although most children inherit many of their parents belief system.

[Chez Daja]

Hmm.

Griffith: I see where you're coming from. Although I feel that more lax parents tend to have out-of-control kids. As you said teaching morals is one thing (and the right thing, in my eyes), but forcing religion onto them is wrong. I agree with what you said.

I have to say, though, that parents forcing religion onto their kids, are most likely to raise better children, rather then lax parents, who often don't teach their children morals at all.

I know a family like that. One of their sons is in jail, the other constantly runs away from home and their young daughter constantly swears and abuses everybody. I'm not saying that all parents that are lax raise bad kids, just, seemingly, the majority.

It's such a shame society seems to lack in parents who give out opinions, suggestions and morals but don't use force.
Seems they're in a minimal category these days.

[Cyanide]

My mother used to ask me if i wanted to go to church, never did because i was lazy. However, i think that because i was not forced to do anything like that, I avoided being confused and perhaps developing a false connection with a group.

If you ask me, Trying to get your kids to follow your religion is not a bad thing. Forcing them to follow it, is.

I think its a dying breed however, more and more people are moving away from religions, mostly because they just dont have the time, or just dont care. Those who are Strict followers tend to raise kids who will break away forst chance they get (from my experance anyways, i could be wrong)

[Chez Daja]

Hmm, well, the less madly religious people we come across, the less wars. That's how I see it. After that, it'll be racial choas.

The bad thing is probably Eastern religious groups, the slightly more barbaric ones. Not that there's not already chaos thanks to religious groups, but meh, the less religion-mad followers, the better, I'd say.

Perhaps not, though.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against religious people at all, but when you get so crazy as to beat your kids into it, or start choas groups over it, it goes a little too far.

[Secret Azn Man]

I guess I'll be the Devil's Advocate.

One of the toughest job in parenting is having to raise a child "right." Now, what's considered "right" in parenting is subjective. But overall, it is generally agreed that parents should raise their kids by instilling them values, social skills, and critical thinking to help them become a contributing member of society. Meaning, you want to teach them good manners, right from wrong, and life essential skills.

Usually, parents accomplish this by using their beliefs, knowledge, and skills as the curriculum to teach their children. Sometimes, the parents are very strict on their teaching.

But is that wrong? We often hear people saying parents should get involved with their children. We hear gamers saying parents should be the one monitoring and determining what games their kids can play; and enforce their decisions. Same for movies, drugs, drinking, curfews, etc.

But what about religion and other personal beliefs? Is it OK for parents to be as strict on religion as they are with other subjects? I mean, what if from their point of view, being a Catholic makes you an upstanding citizens with good morals. What's wrong with trying to instill a sense of morals to your children? If parents let their children choose their beliefs, one can argue that they should let their children choose whether they can have sex, do drugs, or play violent games. If parents shouldn't try to "force" their belief on the children, should they be prevented from forcing their children to eat vegetables, clean their room, say "please" and "thank you?" Where do we draw the line in determining whether or not a parent can dictate what's best for their children and when should the parent let their children decide?

[Amphitrite]

I dont like talking about other religions that I dont completely understand, yet Ill speak what Ive seen. My friend is Mormon, her whole family is too. She the nicest girl. But her brother married a nonmormon and they dont speek to him anymore. She had to go to a mormon college in utah, no choice. Its in her family, no choice for her.

Personally, my parent tried to shove christianity down my throwt. I went to church since I was 2 and Im 18 now so I know a thing or two but...going every sunday is just not for me. They told me Im not saved and I never was and all that, but my beliefs are mine, no one elses. You can try as hard as you want to help your kids or whatever you think your doing, but they have there own mind. Thats what makes humanity so great...

[Angantyr]

Well I personally I think that if you teach your kids properly and show it in a positive light (For them, not what other people may think) they will continue on with what you think. Being uber strict can work if you do it properly but the reason it doesn't is because they're acting like if they don't follow you, you will be severly punished.

Anyway when you are a parent no doubt you want to mold your kids in your image, you want them to pass on your legacy. I know if I had kids I would be the same, I wouldn't beat them if they weren't though.

Also on a side note, there is next to no Tolerance for any form of National Socialism even though it is quite honestly a perfect way to live. I get constantly harrased and ganged up on because of my beliefs, their is no argueing it what so ever and even if I try to I get called the epitome of evil and insane/crazy/moron. Just because I question what is real or not, but thats an entirely differant matter. And I am sure you've realised by now Christians have little if any tolerance for people that don't agree with them, not all the time though.

You will have to excuse the fact I've just woken up

[Xahrackus]

A child that grows up in a family that talk about 'them ni*gers' or 'them mormons' is going to make assumptions. That is why those families continue prejeduces, and why I see a problem with the family system.
The child that hears early on speeches on 'don't do drugs' and abstinence will keep that in thier mind regardless fo how many times they try to shunt it out of their mind. A positive way of looking at it. Everyone knows somethings just shouldn't be done, and there IS a crossing of the line, and punishment SHOULD be delivered. However, when OPINIONS don't agree between child and parents, that is nowhere near the line.

[TomStrife]

Forcing any form of religious belief in your child is wrong. They have free minds and should be able to freely think the way they want to.
I ws raised in a Christian home and I have friends that were as well. They decided to go believe in their own thing and the parents sadly accepted it.
I am serious about my walk with God. Yes, my parents influenced it, but they never forced it.

To all those people who decided to think their own thing: If you can find ONE thing more fufilling than Jesus Christ, tell me.

[Chez Daja]

TomStrife: I, myself, have never truly believed in God -- not to say there is or isn't one, but after having broken free from the strict chains of the Roman Catholic religion, I decided that I didn't want to be seemingly tied to the bible. I'm not saying all Christians and Catholics take their religions as strongely as possible, more or less, stating that I feel, when I think of religion, that there's a massive bound to one and the bible.

I don't know a great deal about religion, despite having been forced into listening to countless bible stories, but to me, it seems living by the bible would be a restricted way to live.

Don't get me wrong, I have morals, and I was taught discipline, respests and the terms of "wrong" and "right", but living by a religion just isn't for me, nor would I find it fulfilling to my nature.

However, I have many religious friends, who love their religion, and are very happy with it. I'm happy that they've found happiness in their beliefs and their bibles and Torah's and holy scripts. But I feel that being without religion is what makes me a free spirit, entitled to all of my own beliefs -- which I find wonderful in my own eyes.

I have a respect for others' beliefs, and I'm happy when people feel content with what they believe. I guess I'm just not the type to be able to find self-fulfillment and happiness in religion.

Anyway, this has gone a little off-topic now, so I'll get back on-topic.

I suppose, when I was little, I had more religion forced onto me then when I got into my teens. I'm now in my late teens, and found that the forcing did nothing, although, I was never beaten into it. I think some parents, like my mother, attempt to manipulate their children while their young, so that hopefully they'll follow through as they get older.

I guess that didn't work with my family.

[Dead Angel]

In some ways, some parents have such strong beliefs that they can't help but force them on their children. But i agree that it's wrong. It's fair enough to teach them about their beliefs, but to force them is wrong...and if their children disagree, they will eventually find a way out, one way or another.

Thankfully my parents didn't force any beliefs on me, even tho my mum went to church and her mum was a strict Christian. But in a way, it was kinda bad...coz for a long time, i didn't have ANY beliefs.

[Govinda]

I don't liek parents who force things on their children; from a lifestyle point of view, I hate to see a child being pushed into dancing classes at the age of 3 because their mother wants an Olympic ballerina. I had a friend whose parents wanted her to be a swimmer; she really had no choice, and spent 20 hours a week training until she told them to piss off at 15. She used to rant about it when she was drunk.

Anyways, beliefs...my parents were cool about it. Neither of them were baptized, or are religious, but the didn't have my brother or I baptized, because they thought that we'd do that ourselves when we were older, should we wish to.

But that's not to say we didn't absorb what they were saying. Almost unintentionally, I harbour great resentment towards the Conservative party, and to the middle class. My family has always been working class, and my parents' rantings about Thatcher and the houses of the rich has definetly influenced the way I see things. I don't think it could have been helped.

As a final statement, I think that it's wrong for a parent to force a thought or religion upon a child. Mine never really forced anything on me; i'll always remember what they've said, but will use it only to form my own version, to form my own ideas and beliefs. I think that's the way it should be, to be honest. Let them make their own way, but guide them just enough.

[Ted Zanarukando]

I was raised in a Jehovah's-Witness household. Jehovah's-Witness parents are known to force their beliefs onto their children from infancy. My parents forced their religious beliefs on my brothers and me throughout my school age. My brothers gave in to religious parental force, but I have been trying to resist religious parental force. Therefore, my brothers gave in to my parents' beliefs, but I have rejected them in recent years, because they are destructive and flawful, and ultimately clouded my views toward women. I think it is unfair, outrageous, and unconstitutional for parents to force their religious beliefs on their adult children when the children disagree with them. I am aspiring to leave my parents' home, because I do not like their religious beliefs, and I have recently learned that some of their beliefs are incorrect and contradictory.

[Black Hawk]

I am raised in a mormon town and I am not mormon a I however am raised in a Cathloc *sorry cant spell* household. My parents have never forced any religion down my throat....we never went to church...however my brother started to become religous when he moved out of the house.....

When he live in a mormon town he genreally have to conform to there beliefs eve though your beliefs arent theres.....You can also become an outcast..(they don like to accociate with people outside the religion)

Sorry If I have offended anyone in this post that is just hte experiance that I have had in this place and the mormons that I know.....I know that its differnet in other places.....and I know that the people are still good people...its just the religion is very oppressive.

[Inagi]

people.....people like that are the reason we have such a closed-minded society. I hate them yes its okmto have beliefs but to force them....its just wrong The whole reason we have religion like this is to have good governmetn and no anarchy...i can undertand that but theres a point where it gets insane. i believe we have passed that by about 52.5 miles. people freak over the Da Vinci code DOES IT MATTER IF JESUS HAD A CHILD OR NOT?! he was born a mortal and lived by mortal rules. but thats off topic religion shouldnt be forced its stupid people saying the Da Vinci code was blasphemy they probley cant even pronounce/write blasphemy right. and to be phisically punished? wtf is up with that IDIOTS there the reason our society is so ****ed up! other then global warming and such....but seriously this is really messed up and the whole christianity VS. Evolution deal...actually i even made a thread about it but geez....that ticks me off so bad i just wuna...AARGH!!!!! how bout those parents get slapped up a few times eh?!?!?! jeez....-.-" i think this is the longest message ive ever typed on here -.- but really its just ****ed up.

[Arkaine]

I don't see anything wrong with wanting your children to grow up healthy and lead a good life, but there is a point when you begin taking things to far. Forcing you beliefs on your children is not only wrong, it is an affront to God. Now I'm not a bible basher, or a Christian other than in the sense that I believe in God and Jesus. But I do know that God gave man free will and forcing your beliefs on your children is an act of subverting that free will that God gave them. Now I see nothing wrong with sitting and explaining to your children why certain things are considered wrong and teaching them to exercise good judgement, but from what I know of my childhood and now my parenthood of 3 young ones, the more you try to force control the more they will rebel. It's like cutting off your nose to spite your face, and you are really just waging a losing battle. If you would like to impart you beliefs on your children tell them what you believe and take the time to explain to them why you believe it. Don't just tell them that's the way it is. You have to let them make up there own minds, that is the key to free will. And you will find that more often than not your children will do the right thing if you take the time to explain to them the reasoning behind the beliefs instead of just insisting they are true and trying to pound it into their souls. We are here to learn and grow and we cannot grow healthy if we are being over pruned by an overzealous gardener.

[Itachi Uchiha]

i've never known any parent forcing there beliefs onto there children, i was raised as a catholic but not by force. in my opinion, it is the schools that forced the catholic faith into me and my parents just raised me catholic. i'm forced to do GCSE R.E in my school and i don't even want to but i av to coz i go to a catholic high school

[Edward Elric]

I, too, go to a christian school, and there's something I've noticed about all of the people there that have been there their whole life:

They have willingly accepted Christ.

My school is a successful attempt at teaching children to accept christianity by their own will. They way they do it is not to treat it as something different, but incorporate it in their daily lives. They already know scriptures by heart, and regularly attend church and youth group.

The only problem is that they are not experienced with dealing with "outside" people. I say outside as in they are not able to discern if a certain person who has not grown up with them has their best interest in mind. Many of the students in high school have frequently drunk alcohol and done drugs because other people who were not raised in their environment have said its alright.

I guess the main thing that I'm trying to say is this: you can either make it so they accept it, or that they get the morals and other things from it. The parents who make sure their children know what's good or bad may have to be a little bit more forceful when they break one, but as long as it's not excessive and the child gets the point, it's alright.

[Sir Kenneth]

I think "forcing" is a bit of a strong word to use here really. 99% of all parents only wants what's best for their children, so naturally Christian parents raise their children to be Christians, Muslim parents raise their children to be Muslims and so on.
If Hell to you is as real as the earth you are living on, then of course you would do everything within your power to prevent those you love more than anything from going there. Whether you are religious or not, you WILL end up raising your children with a certain set of beliefs, values, and morals, and there's no problem in that.

It is all about accepting it when your children chose to view the world differently than you do.

[cheesevixen]

My mother did that. When I was young she was on a spiritual quest. Everything she learned she expected me to except an embrace. She was brought to a higher level through Noachide, and began to hate chirstianity. Claiming that her religion was so much more better. Her religion supposidly respected an loved everyone. Problem is that my mother thought is only applied to those who had a religion, and even then she still looked down on any sort of christianity. I was supossed to do the same. I began to go to church an was pretty much mocked for it. I went to the extent of walking 10 miles to get there in the dark. She also believed that people without religions did not have a voice when it came to god. She would not hear anything that would prove her religion wrong, or her beliefs. Seh would get offended at the meer reminder that her religion was supposed to teach the lesson of tomlerance an understanding. If I didn't know any better I would have thought she WAS christain the way she acted intolerant to anyone that spoke against her. Even me. I became Agnostic when I just couldn't take it anymore. All the religions filling my head, but then having to hate christianity. Of course my mother hated it, but she held her tounge and "prayed" for me. When I met my fiancee, and he told her his own beliefs. She called him an Athiest an said he had no voice in the matter. As far as I am concerned it was not right. She pushed it so hard I am now burned with unatural fears, and my fiancee feels she is not a kind person. She is, but what she did my whole life was wrong. It still is.

[Ted Zanarukando]

What my parents did my whole life was also wrong. My parents and brothers claimed that their religion was the best. My parents have acted intolerant to anyone who spoke against them including me.

[a61688]

i think its definitely wrong to punish your kids for not having the same beliefs. my parents belong to a jehovah's witness congregation and let me tell you, that religion is full of so much garbage. my mom used to get mad and hit me for not believing but what could i do, start believing because she hit me? no. it doesnt work that way. you convince or persuade but not hit. it made it worse for her in the end because i barely talk to her now because of her abusive ways. so no, i dont think its right.