Ok, here goes nothin.

"She almost ruined the barbecue! That was the 4th of July! That's America, man. She tried to ruin America, and you can't do that!- About a girl who started drama at my barbecue. I was on the phone with a friend, and my other friend had to pull the car over because he was laughing so hard.

"She's only gonna try and drag you down into her crap... like Swamp Thing.- About the girl mentioned previously... in the same convo. My friend hyperventilated from laughing so hard.

"Holy shit, its the pace car for nascar's special olympics"- I say this anytime I see a retarded driver or a souped up piece of shit.


Half the time I don't even remember my own hilarious quotes. I'll look around facebook for some