TFF Confessions: Kick your own Ass!

[Taco-Calamitous]

This is a thread dedicated to verbally punching yourself in the face. That's right. This might be a bad idea... but I'm going to post it anyway!

I figured this thread might be a good idea after a certain thread in ID went down, and everyone was pointing fingers at each other, but not themselves. So here, you will admit to your mistakes... and blast yourself for them. This is not a thread to look for pity, or to give pity. And this is not a thread to talk smack about others. In this thread, you will make fun of yourself. I will go first.

I am such a pompous, long-winded ass, aren't I? Have I ever made a post that was less than a paragraph long? I really must like the sound of my own voice? Maybe I should just shut the fuck up and listen to somebody else for a change! And what's the point of making some long-winded statement if it's so boring the reader falls asleep halfway through? And really, who gives a fuck about Disney's cartoon movies from the 80's? What kind of nerdy bullshit is that to write an essay about cartoon movies from a particular decade by a particular company? Am I going to analyze the inside of my own ear next? It's not really "more content" just because there's more words; I am living proof of that.

Nobody can stand up for themselves, either; I have to come to their rescue, like I think I'm Superman! The Wonder of TFF! Hellfire! He stands up for the people who want him to sit down and shut the fuck up! "Way to draw more attention to the situation than I wanted there to be, douche bag!" "No problem! It's all in a day's work for The Hell Fire! I also specialize in getting offended during heated discussions!"

Furthermore, I don't understand what a joke is, or humor. Bless my heart, I try, but I really can't figure out that swearing, italices, exclamation marks, and excessive amounts of sarcasm do not necessarily equate to humor. And I am a retard. At least that's the conclusion one might come to when reading some of my posts. Or at least that I have issues that I should probably bring to a psychiatrist. And clearly I don't recognize when others are just joking around; it is my job to get all offended by an exaggerated statement or something else that is not to be taken seriously. That's how The Hell Fire rolls!

...I've run out of steam, now. Anybody else wanna have a go at themselves? Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Meier Link]

I will jump in on this one, seeing there is a lot to cover I might just limit this to a top (enter a random number here) kind of list.

To start off I am arrogant, very arrogant. So much to the point of where I am super hard on myself for messing things up. I take pride in my family name and use it to my advantage. I also play this card when it comes to looks. I know I am a good looking guy, and I am not afraid to flaunt it. It doesn’t take long for me to get ready to go out but when I do go out I know the wife and I are going to be the center of attention.

This leads me to number two, I find it really funny that I love to be the center of attention yet I hate petty drama. I go out of my way in real life and on TFF (most of the time subconsciously) to make my presence know. If I was someone else watching me I would probably try to kick my ass.

Most of my night time posts are made when I have been drinking; which doesn’t help the fact that my grammar and spelling already suck with out the aid of booze. I know when I first joined this forum I would make whole paragraphs out of one sentence with no real deviation from start to finish.

Spell checker is my friend, if I want to take the time to make a truly great post where I want it to be noticed I will run everything through word so that I don’t have the hiccups you might notice in some of my less endearing posts. I rely on this very heavily, it is sad that I can’t use half of the words I know and like to use because I can’t spell them correctly. Sometimes it is so bad that even spell checker can not recognize them.

I like to call people out when they are making an ass of their selves, and often revert to my days as a mod on other forums and let that demeanor run wild here. Most of the time I don’t even realize I am doing it ha ha.

My sarcasm runs wild most of the time and most people don’t pick up on it. There has been many instances on here where I casually insult people and they don’t even pick it up. I find this very funny.


Ok I will leave it at that for now and come back after a few more post build up here. Like I said there is a lot haha and I do not have the time to write out all of it tonight. Off to play some Assassin’s Creed.

[loaf]

Hi, I'm an idiot. I don't think when I speak. Hell I sometimes don't think at all during the day unless it's needed. I'm incredibly shy to the point where it gets awkward, it sucks and I hate myself for it. I am lazy (although I am honestly trying to not be as of recently, need to grow up), I used to go for the bare minimum and I probably still do somewhat. I talk shit even though I am probably in the same situation as the person I'm talking to. I would think of more but I'm about to cry now.

[Halie]

Sometimes I just go on about beans. But I mean, beans are just so amazing. You can heat them up, you can eat them cold, you can have them with a jacket spud, chips, eggs, toast, and loads more. And they're such a lovely colour. I mean, that sexy orange colour. That is my favourite shade of orange. I call it "bean orange". And they're just so tastey. They're warmth makes me feel so... happy, inside. And they make you fart, too. I mean, there's nothing funnier than when a person farts. Farting is character. And beans create that. Beans. And it's so amazing how they have such a shiny and smooth exterior, and then a lovely, soft, mushy centre. I would give my life for beans. Yes. Beans must live on. *Starts singing titanic song* And I know that mah farrrttt willllll... go onnn and onnnnnnnn... ooh... ohh...

This is an example of some of the shite I talk.

[Rocky]

Sure, I may come off as a humorous person here, but outside of that, I'm pretty sure I am a callous asshole. I like to consider myself fairly smooth on the internet, but I'm a complete klutz in every way irl. I'm easily flustered and though I may not show it, I get enraged pretty easy. I get good grades, but at a community college, how hard is it to do well? I can't go back to the same school where all my friends are at because I can't afford it, so I'm stuck back in my hometown which I vowed to get away from, and now I am bored with life and lonely. I haven't been in a close-distance relationship in almost a year, and that ended poorly, which due to the circumstances wasn't my fault. The long distance relationship ended not so swell either, however she was able to move on while I just dwelled on what could have been. See, thats a big vice of mine, dwelling on things that could have been or should have been. I'm terrible at that. Outside of school and work, I have no interaction with other people, save like once a week or so, due to all of my friends being hours away at other schools. School comes easy for me, but it leaves me with lots and lots of free time on my hands. I work as much as I can, but I still have free time, and I spend that on the computer and with video games. My parents think I'm depressed, but when I live in a podunk town in the booming metropolis state of Iowa, what else is there to do? I live the epitome of boredom, and worst is there is no one I can physically connect with that is my age. Sucks being the odd man out in every way. :/

[Joe]

Sure, I may come off as a humorous person here, but outside of that, I'm pretty sure I appear a bit of an arsehole. I like to consider myself fairly smooth on the internet, but I'm a complete klutz in every way irl. I'm easily flustered and though I may not show it, I can have a hell of a temper. I get good grades, but at a community college, that's not really hard, except for a few instances (Chemistry 1 and Chem 2 >_<) I can't go back to school where all my RL friends are because I'm graduating in 5 days, so I'm stuck here in my hometown which I dreamed of getting away from, and now I am quite bored with life and pretty damn lonely. I haven't been in a close-distance relationship ever, and the one chance I almost had at on ended poorly, which due to the circumstances was partly my fault....prolly mostly my fault. The long distance relationships have ended ok, I guess, at least we're still friends. A big vice of mine, dwelling on things that could have been or should have been, All The Damn Time, in almost every regard. I'm terrible at letting go of wrongs, or moving on from people I like/love. Outside of school, I have no interaction with other people, save like once a week or so, due to all of my friends being hours away at other states, or having lives. School comes easy for me, but it leaves me with lots and lots of free time on my hands. I've never had a job, so ll have loads of free time, and I spend that on the computer and with video games. My parents think I'm depressed, and to an extent they are probably right. but then again, I live in the east end of nowhere, and don't have much in common with people, so what else is there to do besides surf the net? I live the epitome of boredom, and worst is there will so be very few that I can physically connect with that are my age. Sucks being the odd man out in many ways. Meh.

[Storm]

I like to use long words and tend to overcomplicate things, and will refuse to idiot-proof my vocabulary. I get extremely irritated for things which some people consider irrational- mainly thick, immature people. I shell up all of my problems and angers until someone says or does the wrong thing and I explode. When I explode all hell breaks loose! I like to blame my starsign for that one!

I am a spelling and grammar nazi, even though i'm not exactly Stephen Fry myself. I also hate hypocrites, so I guess that makes me a double hypocrite? I also hate people who judge me because of how I look, however I do it all the time to others. Where people think i'm posh and up myself because of my accent and my slightly eccentric dress-sense, I automatically assume that everyone in tracksuits and nike/burbary caps, every man that wears a pink polo shirt, and every girl with 6-inches of foundation, spiderleg eyelashes, tackily bleached hair etc are arseholes. I am almost always right though!

[Fate]

Oh, boy! If I were to list everything, it would take up pages!

First of all, I am extremely careless. I often talk way too much and never know when to stop it. Sometimes, my talking leads to other people being insulted and hurt. What's worst is that it only affects me when I like that person. If I don't like that person, I feel nothing, no remorse whatsoever.

I also get annoyed when people sing publicly, and they are terrible at it. Let's face it, I'd much rather hear an actual singer sing than some person who thinks they can sing. Although, don't be offended if you're one of those people(see what I mean in the first paragraph?).

I'm also extremely picky about eating my food. I can eat salad, but I hate lettuce. I like grapes, but I hate grapes with the peels on. I don't like celery raw, but I'll eat it cooked. I will almost never eat the sweeter, seeded watermelons, but instead, I'll eat the less sweet seedless one. Very picky am I!

Much, much more to come later!