Tell Your Story

[Sarah]

Welcome to the Tell Your Story thread! The rules are as follows:

*Tell one story from your life and only one at a time. You can post multiple stories, but it must be in a different post. No double posts, obviously.
*Include commentary on other stories if you wish.
*Use common sense and forum rules for story content. Other than that, it can be of any nature you want - happy, sad, funny, strange, embarrassing, whatever.

Disclaimer: All rules are subject to change at any time without any prior notice. Please, refer to this post occasionally to ensure that you are following the rules.

I figure this will be a nice addition to General Chat. It will allow members to get to know one another and allow some members to say what they may not be able to elsewhere on the forums.

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I'll start with something stupid/embarrassing. (Note: I am not racist or endorsing it with this story. Please, all you who are hyper-sensitive, political correctness freaks, don't jump to conclusions or let your brain explode.)

When I was about two or three, I used to go to Friendly's with my grandmother, Nana, and her friend, Diane, every Sunday. I was a bit of a smarmy little kid and said what came to mind. Unfortunately, I was also a bit sheltered, and therefore caused me to do some very stupid and rude things (in my opinion), albeit funny.

On one of these days, a black nun walked into Friendly's, to my delight. Unfortunately, she wasn't quite who I thought she was. To the dismay of Nana and Diane, I excitedly pointed to the nun and shouted, "LOOK! It's Aunt Jemima!!!" and continued to repeat it. Nana and Diane immediately ducked under the table, trying to suppress their laughter and hide from embarrassment.

To this day, Nana will never let me forget that I did this, even though there is no way for me to remember it naturally.

[Furore]

How amusing.

I think my most legendary feat happened a year or two ago. I was walking past the TAFE (community college type thing in Australia) at night after a job, and someone tried to mug me with a little craft knife with a thin, easily snappable blade. After he requested I give him my money, I took out my hammer and asked for his. My hammer being more of a weapon, and me obviously frightening him through my unexpected conduct, he gave me around $70 or $80.

It's still a commonly told story by most of my friends, often with exaggerated features as it can be told in some very funny ways. I think my favourite variation concerned me, a professional knife fighter and a suitcase full of money. But who am I to let the truth get in the way of a good yarn?

[Violet]

Lol Nathan. I pictured a Super Smash Bros hammer for some reason ><. Aaah me and my wonderful imagination.. hahaha.


Anyway, the most recent thing I can think of is the time I went to see Blood and Chocolate in the theaters with my friend Brianna. That movie SUCKED and was a disgrace to the book I read. So, after the movie ended, we were waiting in the mall near one of the exits for the bus. We had to take the city bus home since her parents went out partying.. and I didn't even ask my mom to pick us up, because she usually hates playing taxi. After what seemed like forever, the bus finally came. We were going for awhile, then it stopped in front of the college and we asked the guy if his bus was going near our house's bus-stop. He told us no and to get on the other bus behind him. So, we did that.. and we were on that bus for a long time. We stopped multiple of times in front of the college and it even took us back to the mall. We asked the lady, and she directed us to the next bus. We hopped onto at least 4 buses all together. Finally, it was 10p.m and the bus driver told us it was the end of the line and to get off. We didn't know where we were. My friend insisted that she knew, and said to follow her. I suggested we go into the restaurant across the street to call someone to pick us up, but she had other ideas.

So, I ended up following her. She led us into the back of alleyways and behind warehouses that just looked like a death scene. I found out later that it was in the worst part of town. We walked across an empty field and I could've sworn I heard something hiss. Brianna then said she was lost and that's when we started to panic. It was really cold out, too, and I was wearing a jean jacket with a tank-top underneath, supplying me no warmth. Eventually, I decided to go knock on someone's door and asked to use their phone. Luckily for me, they were decent people. We called my friend's mom and her mom was drunk at a party and told her to not bother her. So we called my mom instead. My mom, who was very concerned, asked where we were, but we didn't no shit. The guy living there had to describe the directions to her, but he gave them poorly. My mom ended up getting lost somewhere in a field in her truck. Me and my friend were waiting outside on the curb near a street light, our teeth chattering. It was really dark around us and every time we saw headlights, we had hope that it was my mom, but to our dismay, it wasn't. This one station wagon drove by and these drunks made noises at us and a guy stuck his head out the window, saying "MY EYES ARE POPPING!" We ignored them, and they left us alone thankfully. So, when it seemed like my mom was never going to come, the people called us back inside and said they'd drive us. I called my mom and told her to go back home. The people had to leave their kid home alone just to take us back. We were grateful and felt sort of guilty that they had to do that.

We got home.. and I immediately went to MY house afterwords. If it weren't for my friend, we could've used the phone at that restaurant I suggested. I found out that we had been near the post office which is near the bank we go to. It was pretty far from the house as far as walking distance goes >_>.

[Sarah]

Silver = Captain Hammer.
Violet = Lisa Simpson in the episode with the Isis exhibit and Bart's face decoration disaster.


One time, when my boyfriend, Craig, and I were playing Secret of Mana, I took a break to smoke and asked him to level up our characters. I took a little while, got something to eat, and let him do some work for a while (it's always up to me to level up, dammit).

During the whole time, he didn't save. I warned him that he should save, because you never know what will happen and cause loss of progress. He then exclaimed, "I don't need to save. I'm invincible!" Within seconds, my cat walks on the keyboard, and hits the "end" key, which I had set to kill Zsnes.

Game over. Johan wins. Craig loses. Sarah dies laughing.

[Govinda]

I guess I'll tell you a story I've already told someone else today.

Very recently, I was in Poland. My boyfriend and I were with our Polish friends on a night train to the city of Wroclaw. I woke up just before dawn, and went to the bathroom for a smoke. My window was facing east; the sunrise was splashed across the sky like God's own pallete, nature's base, full of colours that you can only see in these moments.

This wonderful morning sky was splashed across a landscape of rolling fields filled with the hay bales of harvest, sparse trees. I poked my head out of the window a little and smoked, watching the fields close by and the sun rise far away. Hares and Bambi-esque deer were flitting around the fields. It was all very Morning Has Broken.

You must understand that Polish trains do not, as a general rule, ever travel faster than 20mph, especially the older ones. The nearby scenery crawled by very slowly. I was looking at said scenery when suddenly a naked man appeared from behind a hay bale, touching himself with one hand and waving at the train with the other. I spat my fag out, and I think my scream woke half of the train up.

I ran back to where everyone was sitting, half asleep. 'Did you see that? Oh my God, AAAHHH, did you see that guy out there?'

'What guy?' they asked, and I told them about him.

My Polish friend Marta looked at me and shrugged. 'Maybe he likes trains,' she said.

[Chez Daja]

One time, my boyfriend and I were waiting on a trainstop. My boyfriend is a geography fanatic and appears to like staring at clocks to see what minute the trains arrive on.
So there he is, looking at this clock, and this guy yells over "ARE U OK?"
My boyfriend, being from the other side of the country and having a much different accent and understanding of accents to ours replies with "uh... sorry?"
"AI SED. R U OK, WOTZ RONG."
"Uhm, nothing..."
"U WONT ME 2 SLAP U?"
"...Sorry?"
"I WILL SLAP U INNIT. Y U KEEP LUKING @ ME?"
"...I wasn't. I was looking at the clock. *Andrew points to the clock above the chavs' head.*"
"...Ooh."

The chav, humiliated caught the next train without another word.


EDIT: Heather, I lol'd. I imagine Andrew naked in a trainwreck yard sometimes. With the older disels.

...Never mind.

[Unknown Entity]

I've just about lol'd at every story here so far! O_O

A week before my NRA at school, me and my friend Ella were supposed to be going shoping for things to wear with our outfits for the party. She invited her friend - whom i might add is too called Ella, but to save confusing anyone, I'll call her Sylvie.

So, me and Ella hopped on a train to meet Sylvie at the shopping place at Camden. We met her outside the other station up there, and we started to walk around and in to just about every shop. We were having a laugh, picking stuff up in the shops, thinking of whether or not we'd actually wear them, blah blah.

Now, Camden is famous for all the rocky, emo, gothy, punk shops - kinda why we went there. We went into one which was... lets say DARK. Everything in there was black. Or red. The point is, it was dark. Over at the back was this self that was lit up with neon lights. so, we've walked through the clothes to see this shelf.

Everything on this self looked really weird. The three off us have picked something up from it to examine it, and we were all like WTF? I've put mine down about mins later and took a step back from the shelf. I've looked up on the shelf above and saw bigger versions of the stuff on the lower shelves. I read aloud a sign which said:

"Batteries not included"

Hmmm... what are they then?

It was then I realised they were sex toys, and tapped Sylvie on the arm and just simply said... Ooooohhhhhhh... Its was funny how fast she just chucked it back at the shelf! Even the shop keeper was laughing by the time we left.

[Govinda]

This isn't a funny story. But it's one I like to remember.

Last year, I lived away from home for the first time, in a flat with five people I had never met before. By June of this year, we had formed a pretty close pack. It was towards the end of our time living together, and everyone was keen to talk to everyone else - making plans, going places, organising going back to our respective homes.

The flat was buzzing. However, on one particular day, I got a bit pissed off - I was being avoided. I knew it, no matter how they tried to hide it, or to talk to me. Every ****ing time I poked my head out of my room they'd concoct another reason to dash off into the flat next door. They went shopping without me. I ended up spending most of the day bitching about them all in my head and watching crap on the internet.

It was around sunset when Iz came to my room, 'Jo's finished Haley's leaving present, come see!' And so I duly did, trotting down the hall. I find Jo brushing her hair and packing her camera into her flash new camera holder. 'Hi! Ready to go over?'

Suddenly everyone's in the hall with me, and we're heading over to the other flat. I did not, however, notice that Jo hadn't brought Haley's present. I was made to get to the back of the line and lock the door. I was still quite pissed off with the lot of them for buggering off shopping and to the other flat without me.

I walked into the kitchen behind Kris - it was covered with balloons, they'd made fairy-cakes and bought a cake with David Tennant on it (half of the flat had a running obsession with his darling features). They yelled SURPRISE and started singing, and I was so confused that I sang too. My birthday wasn't for another three weeks, but still, they wanted to do something, since my birthday was the only one that fell outwith termtime.

We sipped pink champagne and they all laughed at me; they'd come dressed properly, whereas I was still in my houseclothes with mental hair, and slippers. It was such a nice wee moment, though. They couldn't believe I hadn't noticed. One of them in particular said that having an excuse to tell me to go away all day had been making her giggle involuntarily.

I miss it sometimes.

[Pete]

Back in the day, my friends and I would ride the subway with an airhorn. We'd keep it in a paper shopping bag, and would sound it while people were walking in the tunnels. One time we were standing behind all these thug looking black kids, and shot it off, and one of them jumped so high from fright that he hit his head on the top of the tunnel. I almost pissed myself laughing.

That same day, we would signal it while we got off the trains, and people would freak out. It was kind of mean, but the reactions that people had were priceless.


Another time, the same kids and I had decided to get some late night McDonalds, since they claimed to be open 24/7. It turns out that they lied. My friend drove through the drive through, ordered a whole meal and then was told that they were closed at the next window. Being the genius that he was, he decided to drive through again, place an order again, and then moon the next window.

Turns out the guy working there was drinking a milkshake, and when my friend mooned him, he splashed his milkshake on his ass, and me sitting shotgun. I was not happy about this, but my friend has been too afraid to even drive past this McDonalds... it's been 3 years.

[Priscilla]

I guess this mightn't sound funny. It is one of those you had to be there stories.

Anyway, I keep Hermit Crabs. Two of them. They are in my dresser on my room in a small cage. So I have them roaming my room a lot of them time. Anywho, they were in their cage and I left my door open but I didn't put the lid on it because I didn't think that they would climb out.

A few hours later I heard a scream (my mum) from a different room. I run out and find my hermit crab at the front door. It had climbed out of its cage, fallen off my dresser onto the floor, walked out of my room and up the really long hallway all the way to the door. Which would of taken it a very long time.

My Mum thought it was the biggest spider she had ever seen and was having a panic attack until she found out what it was.

It was funny.

[diaryofjane]

This one is kinda funny. I was in 9th grade and my cousin was in 11th grade. She invited me to the Sr. Jr. prom. We we ready to leave aroud 10 o'clock, so I was having a hard time getting down the stairs, the people at the door and my cousin where laughing at me. Then her parents show up, we go back to her house. Because it was easier. She got out of the jeep without a problem. Me and her dad were last to get out. So I go to get out. So in other words, my feet went up into the air, and my dress went down. I fell out of the jeep, and everyone is just standing there laughing at me.

[Polk]

I'm going to abbreviate this one, because it can take up to two hours to tell it properly, with all the little details and whatnot.

So I'm a child psychologist, right? And me and my wife get home after a night at some awards dinner honoring me. So we get home, and I notice something's not right. I go into the bathroom, and there's some jerk, completely naked, holding a gun! He keeps saying things like "I don't want to be afraid anymore" and I'm all like "OK WTF?" Then I realize, aw snap. That's that Vincent dude that I used to treat when he was a kid. He talks shit about how I didn't help him. I'm like "K WHA'EVA LOL". Then he shoots me in the stomach, and kills himself!

So the next fall, I start seeing this kid, Cole. Creepy little bastard. I gain his trust eventually, and eventually he says "I see dead people" and I'm totally like "Aw hell naw." So for a while, the kid sees dead people, Mischa Barton, and he decides he can help them. Meanwhile, I keep persisting with the kid, spending all my time with him, neglecting my wife in the process. I try to reach out to her, and she acts like I'm not even there.

Then there's some stupid shit, pay attention to the color red, and lots of dead people.

Anyway, it turns out I was dead the entire time.

[Govinda]

Mr Willis, you're an inspiration to us all.

Anyway, I was thinking about something. It's not funny and it doesn't really matter. But **** it, I want to write it down somewhere, and I'm here now.

On Tuesday night, my brother and I came back from Glasgow quite late, after midnight. I was due to move away again the next day, to the city I am in now, 250 miles northeast. I was finishing some packing when he called me into the back garden.

'Look at that!' he said, and ran down half the length of the garden, away from the slabs. 'Come here!'

So I did, and I looked up with him. The whole night sky was bare before us save a cloud that was exactly the shape of Scotland; behind the place where this city lies, we could see a star shining. It was beautiful. Even the Shetland and Hebrides were there.

'It's a sign,' I said. 'A good omen.'

'Yeah,' he replied. 'But you know what the best bit is?'

'What?'

'There's no England stuck to the bottom. Nothing to screw up our perfect cloud.'

We had a gay little anti-Anglo high five and then stood and stared at the cloud, lit a vague orange by the streetlights of the town, and at the weak star shining from behind the bit where Aberdeen would be. It was an excellent moment.

[Violet]

Recently, I hung out with my friends again. We went down to the cemetery at midnight in hoping to see some ghosts(well, I wasn't too keen in wanting to see any). It wasn't as creepy as I thought it would be. If I was alone, maybe.. but we were in a group of 7. It was quite peaceful and sort of humid. I'm a bit glad we didn't see anything unusual >_>. However, there was this car that seemed to be watching us from the road and was slowly making its way towards us. We ran out of that place like a bat out of hell after that ><.

[-x-DarkHeart-x-]

well i the most exciting part of my life was, when i went to London.. that was a really happy experience and im planning to go back to that place.!

[Taco-Calamitous]

Back in the day during my time in high school, my friend Joel and I used to take Spanish 2 together with a teacher named "Mrs. Fields." She did not like my group of friends (although she said I "was a good kid with bad influences.") We would frequently get sent back to the front office because we were not in our seats when the bell wrang. So yeah, one of those teachers.

In any case, one day, we were doing something with groups of four people per table. Joel and I were at different tables. Apparently, I did not know what we were doing, so I yelled over to him in this ridiculous high-pitched voice, "I don't even know what the hell we're doing, Joel! What the HELL?! What the HELL!!" I did not get in trouble. In fact, Mrs. Fields laughed at me. In similar fashion, in various classes throughout my school-going days, I have fallen asleep and snored without getting in trouble. *shrug* Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Meier Link]

The how I met my wife story

Ok time for a change of pace with me outside of my journal, most of the time I am (or try to be) funny when telling stories but for some reason I feel that tonight I need to be a little bit more serious. Maybe because tomorrow is my aniversary with her.

A couple of years ago I lived in a party house, I was the main renter. We had plenty of parties with plenty of booze to fill a small lake. It was a 3 bedroom house that had origanally had 3 people living in it then it went up to around 8 one of which was my loser of a best friend from child hood. He was pathetic and I didn't realize it at the time. He still owes me personally 3894 buckaroos. Well he was working at whirl pool with my ex, me and her had just broke off another failed attempt to make amends. Well all of the sudden my buddy started telling me about how her and him had made a new friend, all I heard was how gorgeous she was and how amazing and that she was totally into him, that kinda baffeled me. But knowing him I also know how he exagerats everything 1000 fold. So I figured this girl was plain jane boring and stuck up. But he kept talking about her and telling me that he was really digin on her and that she was starting to fall for him after just a few weeks of knowing each other at work. SO I am sitting there one night and all of the sudden I hear someone pull up at my house, it was him, my ex and her new FBuddy, and her. There where still alot of hard feeling between me and my ex and for her to show up with her new toy really offended me, so I didn't say a word I just got in my car (which he had to barrow just to go to work) and went to go get cigerettes and a 12 pack of beer. When I came home I realized that she was with them but with it being dark I didn't get to see her.

So fast FWD 2 weeks, we decided to have a party and about an hour into it I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life walk straight into my living room, I thought to myself, she is perfect. But a second later she went up to my buddy and started hugging on him, this shocked me, I thought that maybe he wasn't actually lieing for once. But for some reason he decided to hang out with the other people of the party that night so I hung with her all night just shooting the ****. After getting to know her I felt that I had to have her, but seeing that my buddy was with her I just couldnt move in, I realy thought she had feelings for him. But after that night I couldn't get her out of my head, it was crazy!


So a week later we decided to have a different themed party,(we had already had toga, red vs blue, jager night, costume party, hawian night, pirate night, so why not take it to the extream.) so we had opposite sex night even though at a later date everyone called it cross dresser night which wasn't the original intent, but it was a blast anyways. And yes I did dress up like a girl but so did 90 percent of the other guys and 99 percent of the girls dressed up like dudes. Well she decided to show back up that night, kind of akwards but at that point I was to drunk to care. Once again me and her hung out all night and it ended the same way.

So after that me her and my friend started hanging out on a more routine basis, and since I was the third wheel and Rachel figured out that I was not going to betray my friend like that (and she wouldn't do that to our friendship) she decided to hook me up with one of her friends, that was short lived.

But after me and her friend broke it off her and my buddy ended after. About 5 months pass and I have heard nothing from her, so I figured she was gone for good. The all of the sudden one party night she shows back up, this was in November. BTW me and my buddy had a huge falling out after he acused me of being a selfish bastard for kicking him out, keep in mind he lived there rent free, had a job but I always gave him money bought him food and booze and let him drive my car to and from work. Anyways I got sidetracked, so here I am and in she walks with some of my other buddies I was like WTF I thought I was never going to see her again. She had meet up with my friends that night and insisted that they come over to hang out. We had a blast. I just couldn't bring myself to try anything with her. So I put up my wall and kept the whole thing at friend status even though I secretly knew we both wanted more.

The next week I was back at work and I get a text, "We need to talk seriously" -Rachel
This was the greatest thing I knew what she wanted and that was me. So I text her back and let her know that we where partying the next night which was a friday. She came, we sat around talking but I was pretty distracted, next thing I new her and my little sister hopper disappeared I was baffeled so I had to go look for them, they where in my room, Rachel was crying but not over me. Her and hopper where talking about Mikey (the friend of mine that she had dated) I was tore up I thought she still had feelings for him, I sit down to consol her and next thing I know she tried to kiss me I was freaked out because she was still crying over mikey at the time. I just turned my head got up and walked away. Hopper chased after me and told me the story about why she was crying, it was because of how bad Mikey had treated her. I felt horrible, I thought she tried to kiss me because she wanted to get back at Mikey but Hopper assured me that it was because she was crazy about me. So I manned up and went walking back into the room, I knew what I had to do. When I got about half way down the hall she came walking out, my plan was blown. So I grabbed her and took her into the bathroom held her tight and took my first kiss with her. It was amazin, never once had I felt such passion. We went back out after a few minutes and rejoined the party. I knew of a different party the next night, but she told me no, I had to stress how bad I wanted her there for her to agree, she later told me she wanted to go the whole time but was scared because she thought I was just going to lead her on. That was the same night that I told her I wanted to be with her, and that was the second night that we where "togeteher". From that point on we have been unseperatable. I fell head over heels for her and she did the same. And after about a year we found out that we where pregnant 2 weeks later I took her to the Ozark Mountains and married her in the prettiest town you will ever see. Ever since I met her she has showed me what it is to be happy....

Don't get me wrong we are not the perfect couple by anymeans we fight over the stupidist things, but we never go to bed mad at each other and we never leave the house with out saying we love each other.

Ok now that you read my novel I will shut up. Sorry for the rant and for getting side tracked a few times. There is more to it but if I told you the story would be alot longer, lets just call this the clifnotes version. hahha