To make this a lot darker, here's a quote from someone on alcoholism:
-EstherharshomHey, buddy. How are you doing? It's been a while. Well, no. Not really. It's more of an expression.Alcoholism? Oh, come on, man... why do you have to bring the mood down?
Fine. It's... I don't even know. I guess it's all in that shift, you know? One minute you're a real cool guy, the kind of guy who's the life and soul of any party he walks into -- and then suddenly you're not. Suddenly, you're the guy who doesn't get invited to the parties, but that's OK. You don't need the parties anymore. You can get everything you need right there at the liquor store. You don't need anyone else.
The worst part is, I can feel myself shutting down. I used to really be someone, man. And now look at me. Did I tell you I played football in school? Oh yes. And I was good, too. Could have gone pro, if I hadn't thrown my knee out. But that one wasn't your fault. That one was all on me. I mean, the other things weren't really yourfault either, but there have been a lot of beers like you, and not all of them were quite so damn friendly. A lot of them went down real smooth, but there were some of them... oh, buddy, some of them did some real terrible things to me. Got me into a fair few fights I would have passed up if I'd been sober. Shot my liver to hell. Snuck a big old beer gut on me when I wasn't looking.
That's part of the problem, I think. It's a disease of loneliness. You can't really explain it to people. It's not like saying 'I have cancer' or 'I have polio'... you don't get a big, shiny Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card. People blame you for it -- maybe not out loud, but they do. I can see it in their eyes, when I care to look. When I get so far gone I can't understand the words that are coming out of their mouths, I can still understand that stare.
Buddy? Still with me?
Oh... you've gone. Well, that's cool, I guess. You were nice while you lasted. And everyone leaves eventually. Still, lucky I've got five of your friends to keep me company, right? That'll do for now.
That's all I need. As long as I've got you guys, I'm OK.
Bookmarks