Shut the front door.

[Meier Link]

So recently I have had a ton of run ins with people trying to avoid using profanity by simply changing some of the words in popular pofanic lines. Knowing what you know now about the topic I am sure you can quess that the title of this thread is one of those terms I have recenty overheard.

While this trick works for children the rest of us pretty muh can still get the gist of what that person is meaning. I find it really amusing when I hear terms like "kiss some grass" or "Silly mother father" just to name a few.

So now that I am intruiged I must ask you if you do the same thing to avoid profanities or know some other used terms that might get me to chuckle.

The first time I really noticed this I found it completely random and halarious. Given with my simplistic humor I still laugh my rump off when I hear things like that.

[Alpha]

I just swear :/

I actually have a really bad swearing habit, I don't even notice doing it. However my subconscious kicks in, and I have NEVER sworn in front of my parents, despite having a terrible habit of doing it around people my own age.

I'm not sure how I developed this aversion, I don't try to make it so, it just is.

I remember in primary school, we'd say "fish" instead of f**k. Obviously the teachers knew what it was, and we were just told off for saying "fish", which is pretty weird.

Funny story. Today at uni I was talking to a girl in my class about a building on campus called "The Hunter Building" (after a person). I called it the "C**ter Building" (completely innocently), and she just sorta Stewie Griffin'd her head 90 degrees at me.

[nickness89]

I just swear :/

I actually have a really bad swearing habit, I don't even notice doing it. However my subconscious kicks in, and I have NEVER sworn in front of my parents, despite having a terrible habit of doing it around people my own age.

I'm not sure how I developed this aversion, I don't try to make it so, it just is.

I remember in primary school, we'd say "fish" instead of f**k. Obviously the teachers knew what it was, and we were just told off for saying "fish", which is pretty weird.

Funny story. Today at uni I was talking to a girl in my class about a building on campus called "The Hunter Building" (after a person). I called it the "C**ter Building" (completely innocently), and she just sorta Stewie Griffin'd her head 90 degrees at me.

I'm the same.

I swear a LOT !! Except in front of my parents. I do in front of my dad actually because we get along really well, but my mum is very prim and proper and (even though she swears like Satan against a Bible) says she hates hearing swears ... I'm like wtf?

I'm the opposite of making phrases or substituting words in a phrase for a swear. I tend to change normal words into swears, just to piss people off

I like to cause a ruckus.

[seanb]

Fupp off you basket. is an old fave of mine....

But I do swear a lot... even in front of my parents, though its part of my everyday vocab and I don't notice myself doing it.

This one time, at band camp, I used jesus' name in vain .. though I didnt mean it it was just part of my small talk vocab.. used it in the same way as 'gosh' ... think it was somethin like jaysus we've had bad weather recently...

[Rocky]

Like Alpha and Nickness, for some reason I never really end up dropping profanity infront of my parents or any kids I'm around from work. It's something I never really thought about either, it's just kind of like a light switch lol, but I tend to say inappropriate things frequently.

And yeah I occasionally switch it up with funny sound alikes too, mostly because it's funny to say though, not because I'm out to protect the ear's of everyone else.

[grims sakura]

I just curse as well. Although, when I'm talking to or around my kids, I try to clean it up. Otherwise, my kids randomly popping out a curse word would be slightly embarrassing.

I've heard a few clean versions in my time.

Whuck- wtf
Farkin
Eat my shorts is a popular one
Up your nose with a rubber hose

I can't think of any more right now lol

[Tallulah]

I swear a LOT !! Except in front of my parents. I do in front of my dad actually because we get along really well, but my mum is very prim and proper and (even though she swears like Satan against a Bible) says she hates hearing swears ... I'm like wtf?

Exactly the same with me. My mother is always telling me off for swearing, even though she does it just as bad. Hypocrisy, I tells ya!

I have to keep my language down at work and will often say things like 'Fudge!' or 'Sugar!' to stop myself from swearing. Our milkshake machine, which is supposed to automatically dispense the correct amount, doesn't. I have caught myself nearly swearing at it many, many times, like pretty much all my co-workers. When it gets out, I get asked (usually in a funny way) to watch my language. :/

What annoys me about work is if I have the drive-thru window wide open, a customer at the window, and I hear a loud 'OH, FOR F**K'S SAKE!!!!!!!' issuing from the kitchen, otr sometimes from right next to me (if a certain piece of equipment isn't working). It's embarrassing for me, and does not leave a good impression.

[che]

I can't imagine myself making some up some silly word-play for a swear word. I would either just say it around those I think are old enough, or not at all.

[Judge Magistrate]

I have only swore like four times in my life. I'm not big on people using curse words, but I realize that if you were raised around it it's part of your vocab. So I tend to overlook it, with the exception of the f bomb, I prefer that to be abbreviated, makes me feel better.

[nickness89]

I have only swore like four times in my life. I'm not big on people using curse words, but I realize that if you were raised around it it's part of your vocab. So I tend to overlook it, with the exception of the f bomb, I prefer that to be abbreviated, makes me feel better.

I doubt you'd enjoy talking face to face with me then ;lol:

The C-bomb is used in my daily vocab about 6 or 7 times a day, I just don't see swears as anything bad, I only see them as words.

I remember in school, my English teacher used to get in trouble with our class for encouraging us to use swear words (when appropriate, such as if you can't think of anything else to say, or to express an emotion). I see them as an emotion expression, such as if you are angry, or have hurt yourself, then the majority would use a profanity.

[Judge Magistrate]

I doubt you'd enjoy talking face to face with me then ;lol:

The C-bomb is used in my daily vocab about 6 or 7 times a day, I just don't see swears as anything bad, I only see them as words.

I remember in school, my English teacher used to get in trouble with our class for encouraging us to use swear words (when appropriate, such as if you can't think of anything else to say, or to express an emotion). I see them as an emotion expression, such as if you are angry, or have hurt yourself, then the majority would use a profanity.

I would probably like to talk to you face to face. I don't mind hearing them, as long as I control myself I suppose. The times I swore were when I was really angry.

[Unknown Entity]

I try not to swear a lot, and I try even harder now with my job. Instead, I come out with things like "crud" instead of "shit" or "crap", or "fudge" instead of "f*ck", and "muffin fudger" instead of "mother f*cker". The guys at work have even started using my "fudge" "muffin fudger" words lol.

[NikkiLinkle]

I love swearing. It's fun and a good way to get your anger out. The c word is my favourite. Although I don't swear around people who don't like it. I'm just nice that way I guess. I don't want to offend anyone. My mother swears all the time lol. My boyfriend swears a lot too. His mother always gets angry at him. She always says, 'Don't you swear in my house!' But I hear her say, s**'t ALL THE TIME. Lol.

[Leon]

I guess I'm the only guy here who's not fond of swearing at all.

I went through a weird phase in middle school where I would just swear all the time. These days I don't even see the point of saying something that might offend someone just because of rotten luck. I prefer another word instead, even if it didn't fit. Something like ''Aw, jack-o lanterns'', and, after watching so much Scrubs, I tend to say ''Frick'' a lot. Other than that, I just say ''Dang''.

I'm more of a silly person than a sailor anyway, so why not have fun instead?

[Oneesan]

Swearing is an outlet. When there is no other way you could possibly say just how mad, happy, annoyed, ect....that is where a swear comes in. I would avoid cursing at all costs with my family up until a few years ago. We were sitting at my Grandma's dinner table on thanksgiving and my Mom said something that ticked her off. To everyone's suprise my grandma shouts out WTF. No one could remember hearing her swear before. She just looked at all of us like we were idiots, informed us that we were all adults and could say whatever the h**l we wanted, and to close our mouths and finish eating. Grandma is awesome that way.

If you wanna swear, then swear, but those funny little phrases are nice too

[Xanatos]

I don't replace my swears with witty words, and whatnot because there's nothing to replace. Sure, I swear, but I go as far as to say ****, I just don't swear a lot. I used to swear like a hillbilly, I don't know what changed I just stopped.

[seanb]

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
Not a punt cut square,
Just a square cut punt.
It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

[nickness89]

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
Not a punt cut square,
Just a square cut punt.
It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

That entertained me in ways I can't possibly describe

Legendary.

Try saying it ten times fast

[seanb]

I'm not the fig plucker,
Nor the fig pluckers' son,
But I'll pluck figs
Till the fig plucker comes.

they should teach these in schools

[nickness89]

You hit the clit right on the head there you c**ting b**tard ...

Apologies, my swearing has taken over again :/

[seanb]

For fup sake nick! Your language is funking terrible. Ya grasshole

[nickness89]

It's flipping terrible. I can't control the ship that comes out of my mouth. Think I better go thrash my frustrations out on cat flaps

[Firefly]

I don't cuss alot,even though my friends cuss like sailors. But my favorite 'replacements' for cuss words are these:

Shut the front door!- I love it xD

W.T.F...Welcome to Facebook- A buddy of mine started saying that infront of my old Geography teacher,which ticks her off.

What the PLUM?!- From Adventure Time xD..My friends say that every once in a while.

Fiddlesticks- I say that instead of f***k

....There are some more..but I can't think of them right now

[Fluffy]

There was only really one time in my life that I used profanity regularly. I think it was my sophomore year in high school. At that time I didn't really use anything to replace the words.

And then one day I just woke up and subconsciously decided to stop, and I only use a few if maybe I'm extremely angry or depressed. But even then it's rare.

I've hear my nephews use some weird replacement words, but I can't think of them off the top of my head.

[Chez Daja]

I swear quite a lot but never usually directed at people. If I'm angry, I might let slip a 'f**king' here and there but I never actually refer to anybody as a swear word.

But yeah, I swear, sometimes a little too much.
I do it in front of my parents as well but not as much as I would usually. My parents aren't bothered unless I say 'c*nt', so I steer clear of that altogether mostly. I don't say 'f*ck' too much around my dad either because he has a fit sometimes. But yeah, my parents are usually casual about me doing it; I mean, I don't live with them and I'm an adult so...

I like 'shut the front door' but the rest are kind of lame to me and not that funny. I do like when somebody is in the middle of a swear and realises they have an innapropriate audience and cover it up with "fuuudge" or "cuuuoin?"

[Maridia]

I don't really spin things into other words I have 2 other approaches I use. This is only in front of kids. Adults don't get special treatment and I work at a liquor store where people are vile all day.

If I say something looks stupid. I'll say something like "Yeah he looks like a real douuuuccc...hey there buddy what's up!" with that high pitch inflection you only talk to children and your dog with.

Sometimes the funnier thing that happens is if a kid is up too close to the counter to see, or if he's hiding by his mothers leg so I can't see. If I say someone's an asshole or whatever then notice he's hiding behind her leg. My favorite reaction I do which is...."Woops...." And that's all I can really give, since the damage is done.

Also am I the only person who doesn't see the big deal in saying c.unt?

[Heartless Angel]

I curse like a sailor. Don't even care who it's in front of. My parents used to flip the f*ck out whenever I said anything much harsher than sh*t. Half the time I didn't even realize what they were going on about until they actually told me what I'd just said. And then I'd usually just look at them like, seriously? It's word... are you people ****ing kindergarteners or some shit? Christ, really people. Only reason kids repeat those individual words without knowing what they mean is because people flip shit when someone says it in front of them. I drop an F bomb in front of a 4 year old, everyone in the room gasps, and yells at me for using 'the F word', I can just about tell you what's going through that kid's mind. "Whoa! That word makes people do THIS? AWESOME!!!". I grew up in an in home daycare around kids just learning to talk for most of my life. I've been talking like a silor since maybe 4th or 5th grade. Back when my mom flipped shit on me for swearing, kids repeated it. After she got used to it and stopped even noticing, not once have I heard any of the kids she watches swear. And I cursed more than ever in the last years I lived there. Usually on the phone or in Ventrillo, where all the kids could plainly hear me. If nobody reacts to the word, it has no meaning to a kid, so they're not going to go out of their way to copy a word they have no understanding of.