Secret Lives, Secret Wtf you doin?

[OceanEyes28]

I HAVEN'T SLEPT. It's 7:44AM. I just haven't really been in a place where I can sleep. Mom's got surgery (went in at 5AM), I'm waiting to hear updates, so **** it, I'm up for a while.

Anyway, so I'm sitting at the kitchen table with my dad (who got up to start his day at like 5:30 because he's a mother****ing ADULT) and we're eating eggs and bacon because it's breakfast time for productive members of society and I've got my eggs all overeasy like I like 'em and they're extra runny today so there's like a pool of yolk all over my saucer plate (Regular plate is too big). I want to lick it up. But my dad is like 3 feet away from me and will probably judge me and that'll be the one time I get yolk all down my shirt. So I'm abstaining in favor of soaking it up with toast which is taking way too ****ing mother****ing long.

MY POINT IS if I were alone, I'd have already licked that goddamn plate clean. And then probably I'd have one hand down my pants already, not for any funny business, it's just a nice place for your (your? my) hand to be. And then I'd watch makeup tutorials or some shit like that on YouTube because it's relaxing and I'm BY MYSELF so it doesn't matter.

What do you do when you are alone that you would not do if someone was sitting in the room with you? I know for a fact you are all disgusting, you can't hide it from me. So tell me.

[nix]

I think you should put that hand down my pants...

snoogins!

[Josh_R]

Well when I am alone I like to listen to the music of Cee Lo Green, and rock the f*ck out. I also listen to Nightwish, and sing along with the singer.

I dance naked whenever I get a chance.

I also play with myself when my fiance isn't around to do it for me.

[Meier Link]

Singing would be my secret crime of passion when no one else is around. I am horrible at it but sing at the top of my lungs when no one can see me or hear me.

Also when I am alone is the only time I feel comfortable enough to just devour everything in site with out thinking that someone is watching me eat. When I am in public or around people I tend to eat a lot slower and cover my mouth while chewing.

As for disgusting things I do alone that I wouldn't do in person, I will have to think about it and get back to this thread.

[Taco-Calamitous]

I talk, chuckle, and sing to myself a lot when I'm alone. Like just now, I was muttering a few snippets of people's posts outloud and chuckling about them, and I often resite to myself snippets of my own posts, too. Because I'm odd like that. I'll also be walking along somewhere where I don't think anyone else is around, doing this, and then I'll look up, and there'll be somebody else there, and I immediately get quiet and awkward until they're a good ways past. Although if I was singing, sometimes I'll just pause for a second and then continue to sing, or to hum.

I will also occasionally jack off when no one else is around. That's a given, right? Can't really think of anything else right now... Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Victoria]

I do the same thing Telegraph does, minus the singing. I also tend to recite my posts as I'm typing them, haha. Sometimes.

But yeah.. it's kind of a weird quirk.

[loaf]

I lick plates clean.

I'll talk to myself. I literally sing along with every song I know

[Unknown Entity]

I talk, make noises and sing to myself a lot when I'm home alone. Talking is fun. Making noises = beatboxing that sounds a little wrong... and singing which is good depending on the song. As well as that, louder volumes on everything which has a sound output. Regardless if people are around or not, I still end up reading aloud what I'm typing or reading most of the time. Especially if it's making me laugh.

When I'm alone in my room or home alone, I loose a few of my table manners. Funnily enough, I still say "Pardon" if I burp. x3;

There's other things too, I know I'm sure. xP

[loaf]

And Gemma reminded me, I beatbox all the time. Get some freestylin homie chillin with you too? Makes your beatboxin practicin go to work! Also whistling.

[midgetbob]

I beatbox or rhyme away in the shower... constantly. If I hear any noises from the house, I immediately freeze and go quiet to see if someone's at the door. Then slowly, and quietly get back to it until I'm screaming again.

I don't really like clothes... so... yeah. I wear them only when forced.

I talk to myself or laugh out loud randomly... and I'll put the Nightmare Before Christmas in on repeat.

[Imposter]

Current secret acts really only involve learning to play the didgeridoo. For some odd reason those that I live with get annoyed real quick when I practice. So hence I only play when no one is around now. Really cuts into the practice time though especially with it being the holidays.

Second would be snack food eating, I'll only munch on chips, candies, other unhealthy stuff when people aren't around. Don't know why I started doing that. It isn't like I'm a fatty self conscious guy.

Lastly I love not wearing pants again though after the complaints from others I now only do it when I'm alone.

[Merlin]

I usually insult people on the TV and comment on how fake something is in a movie/show. I can also accurately predict what is going to happen or what someone is going to say in a movie/show that I've never seen before. I abstain from doing that with other people because they start getting weird vibes of me being psychic or some shit... No... the scripts are just that damned predictable nowadays, IMHO.

I also invent random movie trailers in the voice of Don LaFontaine and various actors, as well as impressions of various "stereotypes".

Not sure why my "secret things" are all media related, but they are. ^_^

[Rhaps]

I don't eat a lot in public unless I'm with close friends or family. Alone, I sort of go into a trance and not notice but I'll eat an entire Thanksgiving feast and the cat that happened to be within range without stopping.
Which reminds me, I go into trances when no one is around/ getting my attention. I sort of stare at something, then it goes blurry, then my thoughts go nuts for a little bit, then I snap back once someone says something. If no one is around eventually something will catch my attention, like a T.V. or something shiny
Other things I do when alone is not singing so much as making my voice in guttural sounds that kind of match the tempo and tone of a song. Like going "Aaah ah ahhh ahh" in a nonsexual manner. I dono why but actually singing the words annoys me.

[Meier Link]

Why do I get the feeling there are a lot of closet booger pickers here that are ashamed to admit it?

I am not ashamed, I do it when no one is around. Every once in a while it is necessary. But I will not do it in public.

Yeah I am calling you all out! (kidding)

[OceanEyes28]

Now hold up, Meier. Obviously I get at my nose when necessary. I figured that kind of thing was understood, same as breaking wind.

[dongs.]

I And then I'd watch makeup tutorials or some shit like that on YouTube because it's relaxing and I'm BY MYSELF so it doesn't matter.

I announce that I watch Doctor Who and Top Gear (HUGE NERD) and play arrow smashing games. Pride and dignity are for squares, right? Well, as soon as I read this quote I went "OMG MICHELLE PHAN VIDEOS FTW.". Watching Michelle Phan videos in jammies with dark chocolate mint ice cream? Please, thanks, and don't tell my coworkers. They'll start to think that I'm girly and sensitive.


>_>

[Clint]

When people aren't around, I like to wear diapers and shit in my pants, which is an improvement from when people are around, when I just shit in my pants for no good reason.

I also try to remove four inches from my penis when nobody is around, but the safety scissors don't seem to like to cut through skin very easily. And God forbid that a butter knife should be any better.

[Josh_R]

Why do I get the feeling there are a lot of closet booger pickers here that are ashamed to admit it?

I am not ashamed, I do it when no one is around. Every once in a while it is necessary. But I will not do it in public.

Yeah I am calling you all out! (kidding)

Look man when there is no one around I definitely picked my nose. I go at that thing like a fat kid goes at a cupcake.

I saw a guy once in public, pick his nose then eat his boogers. That is f*ckin sick. I may pick my nose, but I never eat my boogers. Well I haven't since I was a little kid anyway...

As for breaking wind. That isn't a secret thing for me. I will let one f*cking rip right in the middle of a store. I will fart in Wal-Mart, the mall, wheverever haha that is how I do things.

[Freya]

As most of you, I tend to sing quite a lot. But sometimes I even sing when someone's in my room. But that has to be a really special person. Normally I'm shy when it comes to singing because I'm not sure if I'm good at it.

Also, I talk to myself. Like Telegraph, I recite my posts (or posts of other people, for that matter) or laugh about something. (Like typing mistakes) But I don't only recite things, I also rant about posts when I'm really angry. My brother sometimes wonders why I shouted in my room when I was alone... *coughs* Well, sometimes the internet drives me mad, really. And, of course, I comment on EVERYTHING when I read it. Like when I read stories on the internet: I just can't be silent. I have to say something to myself every once in a while.

Hm, I don't think there's more...

[Unknown Entity]

Everyone picks their noses. Even if they say they don't, they do. "I swear, I don't p[ick my noise!" "Yar, and the Queen doesn't fart either."

I mean, what about those times when you get one of those crusty boogers stuck on the side, and every time you breathe out, your nose whistles? That thing isn't coming out by blowing your nose lol. When I do have to have a little pick, I always wash my hands afterwards. There's nothing wrong with picking a nose, just touching things afterwards makes me irk. ><

Passing wind is a given too. I try to be quiet about it, but I'll admit it if the people I'm with notice. ^^;

[Merlin]

Everything so far really isn't that wild and crazy. I'm curious about the crazy stuff... not whether or not you pick your nose.

[LocoColt04]

I will fart in Wal-Mart, the mall, wheverever haha that is how I do things.

...who DOESN'T fart in Wal-Mart? This is a serious question.

I used to do crazy shit, like masturbate furiously in the living room at risk of someone walking in (YEAH, THIS SHIT GOT REAL), but I've become rather boring in my alone time these past couple of years. Generally I stare at the wall while debating in my brain the merits of playing this game instead of that game, and then spend so much time deciding what not to do that I end up doing nothing at all.

I am a square.

[Azuteor]

When I'm alone...

...I take a good whiff every time I fart and if the scent is horrendous, I would congratulate myself.

...I run around the house screaming and making ugly faces. Many of my friends have seen this side of me, but it is as rare as a shiny ponyta.