Looks like a duck, walks like a duck, acts like a duck...

[GypsyElder]

Sorry if this is a dumb topic, but I wanted to see what everyone thinks.

So my friend told me that the other day, he was checking out this girl, and I guess she got super pissed at him. I know he's not a perv, but he's not slick either, if he thinks a girl is attractive he'll stare at her non stop, and make it super obvious. I've told him not to do that numerous times because he'll scare the girl away, and she'll think he's a weirdo. But then he got mad at me and asked:

Why do all you girls get dressed up if you don't want us to stare?

I thought: we'll he's and idiot....but then someone else asked me the same thing not to long ago o_o. Do all guys think like that?

A girl shouldn't have to down grade her appearance because she doesn't want to get eye f*cked. At the same time I know there are some girls that dress all slutty. But even so, I think it comes down to manners. I think it's kind of rude depending on how you do it.... have some game, sheesh.

Yeah girls that dress all slutty, then get mad about it later is annoying too.

I personally hate when there's a guy staring at me, and I give him a dirty look to say "hey knock it off", or "not interested" and they still do it.
I think my worst experience was when this I was walking to class and some guy whispered "hey Mommy" in my ear as I walked by...omfg...*facepalm*

What do you think about that? agree, disagree?

What do you do when you see someone attractive in public?

[Tiffany]

Hmmm... Hard to say.

I obviously don't like being stared at of course, but I'd feel the same if I was dressed in sweat pants or clubbing wear. I'm guilty of wearing those clothes that would deem someone to uh, stare I guess. I'll wear short skirts, revealing tops, tight stuff. Okay, well I wore them before I got pregnant. Anyone on my Facebook knows that. Now not so much, but mainly because I still have some pre-preg pounds to shed.

Aaaaaaaanyways, of course I like to think that a woman can wear whatever she wants without getting 'eye ****ed', but the truth of it is if you dress the part people will stare. I suppose no different than if I see a ripped guy walking down the street without his shirt. Obviously he's comfortable enough to show it off, you know?

I get annoyed when girls dress like that then get upset because someone is staring, or makes a rude comment. Again, in a perfect world you could walk outside in a string bikini with your smokin' hot body and not get any cat calls. IMO... if you do, expect some comments.

[Unknown Entity]

Why do all you girls get dressed up if you don't want us to stare?

I asked a similar question to a friend a couple of months ago. I think it was while we were watching some movie, and some chick came on the screen wearing revealing clothes, flaunted past some dirty looking guys by shaking her butt and smirking, who then went on to take advantage of her. My response was something along the lines of: "Well, she did kinda ask for it."

I regretted saying it. Don't say it when you're in the same room as a religious feminist. >>;

Personally, from what I see at college, the girls who wear the skippy outfits want to be looked at. I know it's not the case with all girls, but I can imagine 80% it's because they want to flaunt. I don't see anything wrong with it, but these girls should expect to get checked out/wolf whistled at. I don't understand why these girls seem confident enough to wear pretty much nothing, only to lose this confidence when guys look at them. >>;;

I dislike being stared at regardless of whatever reason it is. Sometimes my friends stare at me while I'm eating for the laughs - I get uncomfortable and stop. When I'm being stared at by a stranger, I just stare back at them and see how they like it, and once or twice I've dropped the "Pictures last longer, my friend" line.

[Maridia]

Well some people don't get the idea of it. People like to make a fuss cause they can, even though they actually like it. I dress very regular, not usually very flashy and whatever. Once in a while when I do it up and have a nice button down and some fresh jeans I have people compliment me. And that's nice, because people like being noticed. People also like to look and feel good. So I have no problem with being noticed.

Now there's different types of girls who do it. Some dress skimpy cause they're a tease, others are whores, some just like how they look like normal people. And whatever works, great. At the same time if you're willing to test the waters you have to know people might look and stare. Everyone notices others looks. If you're under dressed in a fancy restaurant it's obvious as it is if you wore a 3 piece suit in a homeless shelter. My point being people know how to blend in and look normal without getting anyone to gawk over them. Some choose to like the attention and see what they can get. But as it's known straying away from the path gets attention. Wanted or not.

Much like the sports theory I believe in bend but don't break. If you're walking to a shop in the mall and see someone looking good yeah you notice it and there's nothing wrong with having someone easy on the eyes in front of you. But when they're gone I don't go scouting for them like I've seen some creeps do. And once I see someone I give a mental check saying "Nice" but I stop after that. My eyes aren't locked on them like a target getting from A to B is the priority not a person walking past. Everything in moderation.

If people get upset then too bad. As I've said I do it nobody's ever given me the "You're creeping" vibe. So I must be doing something right. We all know better about our looks, if I was rocking just a thong on could I really play up that people are staring? No, and girls have it sticking out their ass from sweat pants saying NAUGHTY right on their booty is asking people to look. You reap what you sew, simple as that.

[Dodie16]

I don't really wear stuff that is too tight or too revealing. I guess I just want to be comfortable. So I don't get into too many situations where I get "cat-called" or stared at for long periods of time. Mostly because I either am not paying attention or I keep to myself.

I do have a lot of friends that really flaunt what they got. They dress Über-sexy, and yeah, they get a lot of attention from guys. Not sure if most of it's wanted or not, but I guess they do sort of bring it on themselves.

What do you do when you see someone attractive in public?

Heh...I'm pretty shy, so when I see a cute guy I will definately look, but I won't for very long. Maybe I'll look again out of the corner of my eye, but if I catch him looking my way, I can usually feel myself turn red in the face, and I pretty much act like I wasn't even looking... I guess that comes across as being "snobby".

[Jin]

Sorry if this is a dumb topic, but I wanted to see what everyone thinks.

So my friend told me that the other day, he was checking out this girl, and I guess she got super pissed at him. I know he's not a perv, but he's not slick either, if he thinks a girl is attractive he'll stare at her non stop, and make it super obvious. I've told him not to do that numerous times because he'll scare the girl away, and she'll think he's a weirdo. But then he got mad at me and asked:

Why do all you girls get dressed up if you don't want us to stare?

I thought: we'll he's and idiot....but then someone else asked me the same thing not to long ago o_o. Do all guys think like that?

A girl shouldn't have to down grade her appearance because she doesn't want to get eye f*cked. At the same time I know there are some girls that dress all slutty. But even so, I think it comes down to manners. I think it's kind of rude depending on how you do it.... have some game, sheesh.

Yeah girls that dress all slutty, then get mad about it later is annoying too.

I personally hate when there's a guy staring at me, and I give him a dirty look to say "hey knock it off", or "not interested" and they still do it.
I think my worst experience was when this I was walking to class and some guy whispered "hey Mommy" in my ear as I walked by...omfg...*facepalm*

What do you think about that? agree, disagree?

What do you do when you see someone attractive in public?

You didn't answer your friend's question. Or at least you didn't tell us your answer. If you don't want to be ogled, why do you dress in a manner that's meant (presumably, correct me if I'm wrong on this) to be attractive?

Is it that you only want specific people to find you attractive? Or that you just don't want to look unattractive? Or that you don't mind people finding you attractive, so long as they don't take more than a glance (in which case is there anyone that you wouldn't mind taking more than a glance)?

An interesting question indeed.

To answer the question you put forward though, when I find someone attractive, I usually use the peripheral vision strategy. Or if I'm lucky enough to have something else in her general direction to pretend to stare at, I do that. Oh nerddom.

[GypsyElder]

You didn't answer your friend's question. Or at least you didn't tell us your answer. If you don't want to be ogled, why do you dress in a manner that's meant (presumably, correct me if I'm wrong on this) to be attractive?

I think everyone maintains their appearance differently. My whole thing was, I don't dress slutty yet I still get weirdos yelling at me. I dress normal I guess, classy not sleazy. I don't walk around with my G-string hanging out so why do I still get teated like that sometimes? Of course people will dress up to a certain point because no one wants to look like a hobo. People dress up in general to not feel like crap, no one wants to walk around feeling gross, but that doesn't mean I dress up to get raped.

Is it that you only want specific people to find you attractive? Or that you just don't want to look unattractive? Or that you don't mind people finding you attractive, so long as they don't take more than a glance (in which case is there anyone that you wouldn't mind taking more than a glance)?

I don't care who finds me attractive, just don't be a creeper about it, there's a difference between someone who comes up to you to talk because they think your cute vs. someone who sees you, licks their lips and rubs their nipples as you walk by.(has not really happened) but you get the idea. I know not everyone will come up tou you and talk but there's no need to act like a horny caveman who's never seen a woman.

[Jin]

I don't care who finds me attractive, just don't be a creeper about it, there's a difference between someone who comes up to you to talk because they think your cute vs. someone who sees you, licks their lips and rubs their nipples as you walk by.(has not really happened) but you get the idea.

Wait, maybe I'm confused what the topic is. Are we talking only about creepy, possibly insane person ogles or are we talking about ogling in general? I was under the impression that we were discussing the latter. If it's the former, then I don't see why one's clothes are really relevant to the discussion. Sure, the more attractive one dresses, the more likely she (or even he) is to grab the attention of perverts, but it isn't required that one be dressed in an attractive manner to be ogled by them. Even women in sweat pants and hoodies can gain the attention of pervs. I would argue that even women that dress "slutty" aren't necessarily aiming to grab the attention of perverts.

If we're talking about being "checked out" in general though:

I think everyone maintains their appearance differently. My whole thing was, I don't dress slutty yet I still get weirdos yelling at me. I dress normal I guess, classy not sleazy. I don't walk around with my G-string hanging out so why do I still get teated like that sometimes? Of course people will dress up to a certain point because no one wants to look like a hobo. People dress up in general to not feel like crap, no one wants to walk around feeling gross, but that doesn't mean I dress up to get raped.

What exactly does "not wanting to feel gross" mean? Isn't that just another way to say that one dresses in a way so that people find one more attractive, or at least not unattractive? Does this not mean that one wants people to notice him/her? It seems that being stared at (bearing in mind I'm not talking about in a creepy way in this case) is one of the goals of dressing to please, so to speak.

But if that's not what this discussion is about, then you may as well ignore that portion of my post.

[Pete]

Sometimes when I want to feel sexy, I'll walk around wearing jean shorts. Scratch that, they're more like denim briefs, they're cut so short. Usually, I'll let a nut hang out for the ladies, sometimes the whole sha-bang.

[GypsyElder]

Wait, maybe I'm confused what the topic is. Are we talking only about creepy, possibly insane person ogles or are we talking about ogling in general? I was under the impression that we were discussing the latter. If it's the former, then I don't see why one's clothes are really relevant to the discussion. Sure, the more attractive one dresses, the more likely she (or even he) is to grab the attention of perverts, but it isn't required that one be dressed in an attractive manner to be ogled by them. Even women in sweat pants and hoodies can gain the attention of pervs. I would argue that even women that dress "slutty" aren't necessarily aiming to grab the attention of perverts.

Everything is open to discuss. Wait how do we know the difference between a creepy, possibly insane person hitting on you, or someone like my friend who's just a dummy with no game? you don't unless you take the time to talk to them or they do something extreme. If there's a guy who eye f***ing me and I give him a dirty look to stop because I'm not interested, the normal person would turn away or try to play it off and go about their business. If not that equals creeper in my book because you don't know these people well enough.

What would your definition be of attractive dress? what would be un attractive dress? I don't think that people who dress slutty are wanting the attention of perverts either, I don't think anyone would. Perverts are attracted to everyone. I'm just saying if you're not one try not to freak people out. I'm not saying I have a problem with people staring just there's a right a wrong way to do things sometimes.... maybe I a just attract weirdoes

there's no need to act like a horny caveman who's never seen a woman.

If we're talking about being "checked out" in general though:

What exactly does "not wanting to feel gross" mean? Isn't that just another way to say that one dresses in a way so that people find one more attractive, or at least not unattractive? Does this not mean that one wants people to notice him/her? It seems that being stared at (bearing in mind I'm not talking about in a creepy way in this case) is one of the goals of dressing to please, so to speak.

But if that's not what this discussion is about, then you may as well ignore that portion of my post.

I meant gross like " yucky" like a bum. (Sorry if I offended any bums out there by calling you yucky). Everyone gets hit on or stared at, everyone want's to be noticed, that's why we dress up, but no one wants to feel uncomfortable in the process.

[Govinda]

Maybe they want to wear what they like and not have people stare? If you've got the legs for it, a short skirt can feel good; you feel attractive. You'd like to be admired, sure, but not ****ing gawked at.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Remember that.

[Violet]

Wahahaha..

...If I ever catch someone staring at me, I prefer the "You can look, but you can't have" approach and just ignore them. I usually pretend I didn't notice them staring and shrug it off. Hell, they probably stare because they think I look peculiar, not "sexy" or whatever, cause I never wear clothes that expose too much skin. I'm a jeans girls.

As for ME staring at people.. I hardly ever stare. When I do see a hot guy that's exactly my type appearance-wise, I'll sneak a couple of glances, but I won't stare at him. However, I have caught myself staring at someone in the past. I wasn't doing it on purpose, infact.. I was daydreaming(completley in deep thought).. and I happened to be looking in their direction. They must've thought I had issues XD.

[Taco-Calamitous]

(Sorry if I offended any bums out there by calling you yucky).

I must say that I am terribly offended by this comment Although I suppose technically, I'm not a bum. One time this girl said that I dressed like a bum...

I think I'm a lot like Dodie is on this. When I see an attractive girl, I'll think, "She's hot," and try not to make eye contact, but just look past/down at my feet until I walk by, haha. If she is far away, I will still make an effort not to look, but I won't feel uncomfortable if my eyes fall across her. If it's a girl I'm having a conversation with/hanging out with, and she's wearing a low cut shirt or whatever... Here's what's going on in my head: "Don't look. Don't look. Okay, you just looked, don't do it again. Don't look. You did it again, stop it!" It's kinda distracting. I've never been given a dirty look or anything though, so they probably didn't notice.

Strangely enough, I have gotten stares sometimes. And generally when that has happened, I get uncomfortable and bashful. I'm one of those people who doesn't know how to take a compliment. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

EDIT: Yay, I'm a holy knight now! Fitting? Depends.

[Tiffany]

I don't think I stare when I check people out, but I am not shy about it either. I felt shy when I was younger and didn't have a large amount of self esteem.

It is rude to stare at people, IMO, so I try not to do it.

[Che]

On one hand I'm thinking the girl is an asshole for dressing up like a sloar and then when she gets a look she gets all mad. You got what you wanted, or you thought you wanted.

On the other hand, the dude is in the wrong because it's rude to stare at someone no matter the circumstance.

Personally, I try to not look at the sloars who get all dressed up. That's just what they want, and I won't let them have that satisfaction from me. I keeps it real like that.

[kennedyfan]

i know it might not be socially correct, but whenever i see a good looking woman in public, i stare. as soon as they notice, i turn quickly, though. lol. just to make sure i don't get labeled as a creep or anything