I have a social question

[SuperSabin]

This is a bit embarrassing for me to ask, but what good methods are there for me to go out and meet new people? I've been looking to make new friends irl and I feel like I haven't accomplished much. Places I'd like to avoid are: bars (except at restaurants), clubs (unless they're clean), and other places along those lines.

So if you can provide any advice, I'd like to hear what you would have to say.

[nix]

Can you list your interests besides FF? Do you do online gaming?

Any other hobbies?

Also your age plz

[Mystyrion]

I'm pretty antisocial myself. So I'm afraid I won't be able to help much.
Work and School were pretty much where I made all of my friends.

[Alpha]

Places to meet entirely new people: work, school, clubs (by that I mean like, places where hobbies are done: tramping clubs, etc.), online.

Places to meet people who are friends of friends (and therefore likey to become your friends): parties held by existing friends, clubs of friends.

The hardest way to meet new people I at bars and clubs. Of course you can do it and I have, but chances are you have less in common than a friend of a friend, or someone at your workplace, school, club. See how it works?

[OceanEyes28]

Learn to throw a frisbee and sign up for an ultimate frisbee league. They typically have off seasons when they teach new people how to play the game. It's good exercise, good bonding time, and I've seen some pretty awkward people make great friends through ultimate.

If you really don't like throwing frisbees or running, think of something similar you might like. Cooking class, make your own sushi class, cycling club, yoga... or sign up for gaming tournaments?

If you're not trying to hang out at a bar, you're going to have to put yourself out there toward activities that other people are also interested in. It'll be slow going at first, but eventually, you'll wind up in a conversation and you can take it from there.

Good luck!

[Halie]

You could volunteer somewhere... that way you'd be meeting new people and you'd also be helping out in some way.

I'm very shy myself and the way I usually make friends is mainly from common interests... like taking the same class, etc. I've become good friends with some people who I've met through a mutual friend at parties and stuff like that, you could try something similar. And also, if you get invited out somewhere, please, just go. Even if you don't really feel like going out and you just want to stay in for the night, just take up the invitation. You'll feel so much better if you do, and eventually you will start to form friendships.

[Rowan]

Agree with oceaneyes. Play a team sport, you will make friends or sure. Sport is like war without the violence (sometimes) you will make lifelong friends.

[Crescent]

I was dragged along went to my first ever comedy gig. Total strangers would just jump at you trying to make conversation..Maybe all the laughing could loosen you up a little if your shy.. Bars, clubs and work in my experience have been the places for me to (inevitavably) interact with people..but Ive never been the one to approach someone. Joining a sports team or any similiar interest class is a sure fire way to make friends. Im very aloof in real life but I get a lot of people try to talk to me on the street, when Im frkn grocery shopping, when im waiting for the frkn bus and/or at work..I have no interest in wanting to meet people or make friends. But you can also meet new people through mutual friends and make sure you go to parties even when you dont want to.

[Imposter]

Coffee houses or open mics at any colleges, universities, or anywhere. Heck pretend to be a student and just walk a campus....or even take a class you are interested in.

If you like sports go to a game, it isn't hard to talk about the game your watching with people that are watching it around you.

Ultimate frisbee is also a great suggestion.

[Yoko]

School and work are the best places to meet people. That's what I find anyway. I'm not a very social person myself, but I find myself always having someone to talk to when I need them most.

I met the bulk of people I know today when I was in Cadets. It's basically a reallyreally big social group that's fixated on leadership, discipline, public speaking and other grand things like that. If it weren't for that, I probably wouldn't be where I am today. I was bound to meet at least someone. That was when I was between the age of 10 and 19.

In college I take part in my program's social group. I volunteer for random things. Meet people as these fine people have said. These methods are tried, tested and true. No matter how high/low your self esteem is.

Sports were never something I actively took part in, but if you're looking for some random fun, join a local soccer team, or even a ball hockey team. They are always looking for new members. You can even go out for a bite somewhere afterwards and chat if that suits your needs. There's always something. You just need to look for it.

I'm not sure what you do during a normal day, but there's always a way to fit these types of things into your schedule.

[Heartless Angel]

School's about the best from my semi-limited experience. By and large I hate people, so I don't generally try to meet them. But almost all of my friends are people I met sometime during middle or high school, or in college. I hang out with one or two people I met at anime conventions, and I write/call/email a few more I met at conventions that don't live anywhere near me. Really anywhere where people with your interests are likely to be. For example, most of the people I meet at college that I like are people going into a similar field and therefore taking the same classes. As for initiating conversations with potential friends, I never really do. I'm just not the type to make the first move in any situation. so it's always been on the other person to engage me in conversation. A lot of conversations that turned into friendships for me started because I whipped out a Gameboy or a DS or a PSP in class. Conversation usually starts with something as simple as, "Hey, what are you playing?". The answer will either end the conversation as abruptly as it began, or lead to a conversation about a common interest. Couple of the people I hang out with I started talking to based on common musical taste, conversations there often being started based on me wearing band/concert shirts or listening to my music way too loud so that people could identify it from across the room. Friends of friends are also likely candidates for most people, I've had less success making friends that way, because I'm very picky about who I'm friends with, and common interests alone aren't usually enough for me. I generally befriend people whom I consider intelligent, another reason why I tend to befriend people I meet in classes, especially electives in the fields of science and philosophy. So I mean, to put it all into one simple sentence, go places where the kind of people you'd want as friends are likely to go. Not to say those are the only places to find friends, but the chances in those places are usually fairly high.

[Sasquatch]

All of the suggestions here are good, but one big thing is to take part in a hobby. If you don't have a hobby, find one. Unless it's collecting or something, you'll meet people through the practice of that hobby, and you will already know that you have something in common with them. Whether it's a recreational sport, a dog park, concerts, watching sports, whatever it could be, there are tons of other people out there interested in the same thing.

And honestly, bars are pretty decent places to meet people. I'm not talking about the packed bars, where you spend five minutes trying to get up to the bar and another five minutes trying to order an eight-dollar drink over blaring music, I mean podunk hole-in-the-wall bars. Not that they have to be "country" bars or anything, just places that don't have huge crowds. Places that have a bar with open seats, so you can actually talk to a bartender. The bar I go to reminds me of Cheers, from the show. I'm on a first-name-basis with all of the bartenders there (except one they just hired -- I know his name, but he was too busy to sit and talk to anybody), and most of the people in there on any given night are "regulars". They usually have baseball, hockey, or football games on the TVs, and everybody is there for the same thing -- not to grind their privates against some slut, not to stuff their face with chicken wings, not to headbang or dance to music, but just to hang out with friends and have a few drinks. From meeting people at the bar I go to, I've gained some pretty good friends, and done quite a bit with them -- I've been fishing with some of them, I've worked on cars with a couple, I've helped one or two move, I've been to parties and gatherings elsewhere because of invitations by bar-friends, and I have even started playing a weekly poker game with a group of people I didn't even know because a good friend at the bar invited me. (The poker group, in turn, has opened up more doors, and would have opened more if I was into more of the same things that they are.)

And if your hobby is drinking, that goes double.

[che]

make your own sushi class,

WHAT. Where is this?

[nix]

Making sushi is pretty easy, Japanese friend showed me how to do it, once you have one of these bad boys:



It will be alot easier, only hard part is getting the stickyness texture of the rice right (no che not your jizm) I think its vinegar or some other cooking liquid which does that to the rice.

[Pete]

It's gonna sound strange, but a lot of people organize events via facebook and twitter. I don't have twitter, but I've heard of people organizing things like baseball games and other events. One guy says oh, we'll play here at this time, and people post if they can show up, and apparently a lot of people have become friends through it.

[Clint]

Dude, all the suggestions here suck so far. Here is what you do, Mr. Sabin. You find a city street somewhere. You walk down crowded sidewalks, and ask random people if they want to be your friend.

Eventually, somebody will say "yes." And for the love of God, don't join a sport's team. Sports are gay.

Making sushi is pretty easy,

You don't exactly make sushi. You just catch a fish and eat it without cooking it, and eventually get mercury poisoning.

[Yoko]

You don't exactly make sushi. You just catch a fish and eat it without cooking it, and eventually get mercury poisoning.

Funfact
Raw fish isn't sushi. It's the seaweed around the rice/veggies is what classifies it as sushi. The seaweed being the most important part. Raw fish/meat is sashimi.

You do what you want SS. I'm interested to know what happens.

[saio]

Dude, all the suggestions here suck so far. Here is what you do, Mr. Sabin. You find a city street somewhere. You walk down crowded sidewalks, and ask random people if they want to be your friend.

Eventually, somebody will say "yes." And for the love of God, don't join a sport's team. Sports are gay.



You don't exactly make sushi. You just catch a fish and eat it without cooking it, and eventually get mercury poisoning.

Funfact
Raw fish isn't sushi. It's the seaweed around the rice/veggies is what classifies it as sushi. The seaweed being the most important part. Raw fish/meat is sashimi.

You do what you want SS. I'm interested to know what happens.

sushi very tough stuff leaves you with an iron gut
hey its better then gambling with your life on fugu

as far as making friends goes (i know it contrasts what i said above but)
go to a fugu fanciers event whatever friend you make there will be someone you've risked your life with (tho there is a slight chance you will end up dead)

[Clint]

Funfact
Raw fish isn't sushi. It's the seaweed around the rice/veggies is what classifies it as sushi. The seaweed being the most important part. Raw fish/meat is sashimi.

Whatever. Raw fish/meat is a disgusting thing to eat, just like how seaweed is a disgusting thing to eat. It doesn't matter if it's sushi or sashimi. It's all disgusting shit.

sushi very tough stuff leaves you with an iron gut

Actually, it leaves you with a mercury gut, which poisons and kills you. That's what people get for eating raw food. Anybody with half a brain cooks their meat before they eat it.