The Hardest Thing about saying Goodbye

[Phantom]

No, this isn't a Phantom goodbye thread sillies The purpose of this thread is share your goodbye stories. Whether it be a close friend, a pet, or a beloved family member. I'll start.


Do you guys remember my dog? I'm pretty much sure I mentioned him in my journal or in a random chat on MSN. Well, I'm giving him to my aunt tomorrow, so tomorrow is basically our farewells. The reason I'm giving him to my aunt is because sometimes I can get irritated easily, and my dog Noah is a very energetic dog, and can act kinda of crazy (silly crazy) sometimes, which always irritated me, and I sorta of have a short fuse most days that I'm trying to work on. Anyway, sometimes if I'm tired or he just bugged the hell out of me I hit him, or grab him by his choke chain hard.


I acted like a complete asshole to him and you know what? He still loves me... Despite me acting like a stupid asshole he still loves him, and that is what makes this hard. I decided this morning after he irritated me again, that before anything else happens I think the best solution would be to give him to someone who would love and treat him right. Someone who would give him time, attention, play time. Someone who isn't always preoccupied with there own issues and things to be close to him. Today was a real sad day for me because I realized for the first time in a while, that this isn't just about me, its about me and Noah. And I want the best for Noah, I want him to be happy, I want him to be loved more and respected, I want him to be free. Ever since we got him 6 years ago, we had to get keep him in a large or large enough cage since he had so much energy that he could run all over the house and get into alot of stuff.


But we stilled took him out to play and eat etc, but over time alot has changed and I got caught up in other things and I had alot of issues that Noah became like a vent taker, in a talking sort of way. What I mean is, I would vent and talk to Noah alot about my issues and even when he got on my nerves or did something bad I hit him...I did alot of stupid things, things I wish I could take back. November 1 (All Saints Day). This day marked the day back in 2003 when Noah became a part of our family, and tommorow November 3, 2009 will be the day when we part ways. My aunt is a real lovable person who loves and I mean loves animals, so she and her boyfriend I know will take care of Noah and provide him with everything he needs, things I probarly never did or could give him...Me and my mom talked to my aunt earlier and she agreed to take him in tommorow.



This made me both happy and very sad at the same time, so much so that I literally broke down and cried. I'm going to miss him so much....omg I'm tearing up now guys. But I know its for the best for both of us. That's one thing I can provide Noah with on his 6th year stay with us...a better life. It hurts to let him go, but I know Noah will be happy and that...makes me happy inside. Strange I feel like a father don't I?


Anyway, please share your experiences saying goodbye.

[GypsyElder]

My cat Lucky

He/ she was a Black cat, I never really took the time to check if it was a boy or girl, too much fur, plus it was an outdoor cat because me and my brother have really bad allergies. I'll just say him for now. I named him Lucky because he was black. He had been a neighborhood cat before it was officially ours, really friendly, and had obviously been some ones pet prior. Before I rant, just so you know, all of my neighbors knew he was mine, they knew I fed him, too care of him, let him inside when it rained. He would usually be sitting outside my door in the morning meowing for food whenever I would come home or leave for school in the morning. Well, one morning I opened the door and guess what I saw? him just laying in the grass. Cat's don't just randomly lay down in the middle of the lawn and fall asleep. Yeah he was dead Besides, he usually slept on the roof. I had to leave because I had a test that morning and didn't have time to bury him, I was going to do it as soon as I got home. When I got home though he wasn't there. I figured that either my dad or someone did it already or, one of my neighbors would have been kind enough since they knew it was mine. They would feed him too from time to time, usually just left over beef or ham or something. I asked my dad when he got home, but he didn't. He said when he went to he was gone so the thought I did it already. Then when I thought about it...." they had better not have thrown MY cat in the Dumpster!"


Yup....

My brother checked when he went out there to dump the trash and there he was. Don't worry not bloody or anything. We had to get in there, take him out, THEN bury him. I was so furious because I found out what happened to him and which neighbor decided it would be nice to toss my cat in the trash. Apparently, some huge pit bull attacked him while the neighbors were sitting, watching comfy in their lawn chairs. They brought the kids inside and let it attack my cat. They said they threw him in the trash because they didn't want the kids messing with it. **** neighbors. I would never throw one of their dead kids in the dumpster. Ever since then, I have one neighbor I respect and still talk to and that's my friend Chris and his family, we've known them for a while.

I didn't even get to say goodbye to my cat ;_;

[Taco-Calamitous]

There have actually been a lot of goodbyes throughout my life. There are three that stick to me:

The many times I said goodbye to my brother. First, he went off to college. Then, he was touring with a band. Finally, he moved to California with his wife. One of the last times I visited, I flew down via plane, and I went back up via plane. We were like, "Yeah, not gonna see each other for another four or five months. That sucks." And I had to sit by myself in the waiting area at the Oakland airport all by myself for a half hour. Felt really alone, already missed him.

Another one that sticks out is when one of my best friends joined the Air Force after high school. He was kind of the leader of the group, so we had a big gathering at a friend's house. He gave a kind of goodbye speech, saying something like, "I'm gonna be gone, guys. We won't be able to just call each other and say, 'Hey, let's go hang out at the mall!'" It was one of those things that signified the end of an era for me. Along with the end of Five Iron Frenzy later that year.

A final one was the first time I went to Yellowstone. Giving my mom a hug, getting up on that bus and going away from home by myself for the first time. It really felt abrupt, like I wasn't ready yet. Road through the night on the bus, and the next night stayed in some motel room in Montana all by myself; probably the loneliest I ever felt, that night. There was also the second time I went to Yellowstone. My parents dropped me off there the second time, although when they left, we were on the opposite side of the Old Faithful site from the dorms, so I walked all the way back by myself. I remember thinking, "why the hell did I do this to myself again?" Ha. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Che]

This one time I went to this party, right. It was pretty so-so, the average house party. I knew everyone there from school, and people were just getting wasted. One of those nights.

I got kinda bored and wanted to have some fun so I was sitting on the couch talking to this hot blonde I knew. She had come to me before and pretty much explained she has a huge sex drive and wanted me to be her friend when she needed it. I turned her down as I was trying to get with this other chick at the time.

But at this party, I was kinda tipsy and knew she'd go for me. So I just leaned in and started making out with her. She was totally into it. She started grabbing my pants and getting all hot. We end up finding a bed and making out and we're taking some clothes off. I unzip her pants with my teeth and then down the stairs comes my other friend (good friend of the blonde's too). Smokin brunette. She sits down on the bed and says she's gotta leave because she has to get up early. She tells her friend not to do anything she wouldn't, and shoots me a smirk and "those eyes". I lean in to try to kiss her and she backs away and smiles...

"Did you just try to kiss me?"

"Yes." I told her bluntly.

"Hmm...well I'd probably stay and have fun but I really gotta go." she says. She told us to have fun as she walked up the stairs to leave.

And that was the hardest goodbye I've ever had to do. So close, man.

[Unknown Entity]

Goodbyes are hard because sometimes they just feel like they've been forced on you or they feel just so permanent, even when they're not always like that.

My brother had a close friend at primary school. He was called Paul, and he was a really nice boy. I didn't have many friends in my class, so I hung out with my brother loads, and me and Paul became friends. His dad owned a news agent down the market, and we used to hang out loads over there. It was for sure that my brother and him were close.

Less than a year later, Paul has come up to us in tears telling us he was moving away and he didn't want to. During the moving process, he and his older sister moved into their grandparents place for a while which was only around the corner from where we lived. We met up more often then, and made sure that the last summer he was here was the best.

It got to the leaving day, and we were all in tears. We exchanged numbers and e-mails and addresses, and promised we'd see each other again. We watched the car drive off, and my brother gave chase. We were on a downer for weeks - him more than me.

We did meet again for a weekend while we were on holiday. He lived a couple of miles from where we were staying, so he came and stayed with us for a while. That was a couple of years ago now... really we should get back into contact. =S

The hardest goodbyes for me is when someone you know passes away. A lot of the time, you just don't expect it.

[Dr_Flea]

The hardest goodbyes for me is when someone you know passes away. A lot of the time, you just don't expect it.

Yeah aint that the truth!!!

When i lived in england i had a friend called Lloyd!! nice kid was fun and we went to the same school and were preety much best mates!!

Anyway my parents decide to move to Australia so i had to say goodbye and that was fairly hard.

We had been in Australia a couple of years and one october my Mum called me into the bedroom and told me that Lloyd had died of leukemia!! He was 10!! That sucks!! i didn't even get to see him again or go to his funeral or nothing i was devastated!! The only thing i do remember about him was that he had a panther shaved into the back of his head!!

So i someday will endevour to get a black panther tattoo not only becasue i happen to like panthers but also to have a permanent reminder of a nice kid whos life was cut tragically short!

~Dr_Flea~

[Lady Rika]

Okay okay I know this will sound totally gay but I actually wrote a story about it in class when it happened, it was for English class. I is truly something so hard for me to talk about people so I tried writing about it on here and couldn't so imma copy and past from the story I wrote because it'll be easier for my poor heart. Sorry if it sounds dramatic but seriously, im sure Gypsy Elder will understand alot. Its about my cat Kyo.

Okay, here is what happened and here is the story:

Clutching him to my chest, time began to stand still and it was then that I finally began to understand. All that was happening, everything around me; the tiny emergency vet office, my mother crying in the other room. And he, Kyo– my beloved cat, half here, half not.
I understood.
That this was the last time I was ever going to see my beautiful orange cat again.
Tears stung my aqua tinted eyes, he watched them as they slid down, possessed by my hearts pain, wetting his sunset fur.
“Kyo…” I whispered, my face once more snuggling into his silken coat, “Don’t leave me.” I begged, barely able to breathe right. As I pressed my face into his neck it was strange because I felt my lips and fingers grow numb and cold. Though it was cold there in that room, the walls aligned with fancy cat posters showing rare and beautiful breeds. But I thought my cat the most beautiful, for he really was in truth breathtaking. But as I shut down my heart seemed to beat fast and faster, it surprised me that he didn’t pay any mind to that as he usually would get annoyed by my movements or seemingly flustered actions. But not now, now he just lay their in my arms, watching me silently as I cuddled and stroked him.

Over and over I repeated how much I loved him, over and over I repeated how much I longed for him to stay with me. And over and over I felt my heart beating so loudly once again and once again he never moved, though I am glad he didn’t for he would have shuddered in confusion and not fright
Soon after I broke down again, his large amber eyes burned into mine, memories flooded back to me. Memories of three years back when I first got him. And I remember it so well as if had happened only moments before.
My mother, driving slowly down the long streets, lost in the many rows of houses. The AC blew my chestnut hair. I, impatient as ever began to tap randomly on the car window. For some odd enough reason I felt relief and pleasure from this mindless tapping and as my rapping got louder the Jeep Grand Cherokee finally pulled into a driveway with a gentle halt.

The driveway was heavily shadowed by the large trees that decorated her yard along with the other lovely foliage along the ground. As the wind blew at the trees its gentle near summer kisses I was quickly jumping out of the car to rush to the door. My mom smirked at my hyper disposition but at the time I wouldn’t have cared what she did as long as it didn’t interfere with my ‘mission’.
It had been quite a few weeks that I had began watching a show called Fruits Basket, and in the show there was an orange cat named Kyo. I immediately fell in love with the character of this cat and vowed that I too would get an orange cat and brand it with the same name.

It had annoyed me that my mother made it to the door before me, though I had jumped from the car’s grayed seat before her. And when her finger pressed lightly on the doorbell my heart stopped, all that I could feel was the thirty dollars I had jammed into my pockets, the vary place my hand was hidden.
I crumpled it around as time slowly passed; back then those jeans weren’t so worn.
Though I heard her coming it seemed like it was taking forever. And finally she opened the door and it was love at first sight.
In her hands rested a tiny ball of orange fluff, his eyes were wide opened as he stared in awe at this strange girl who watched him with such an interest. Back than he had light, watery green eyes that rushed back and forth as he observed anything that moved. He was so beautiful, but yet again he was always something of beauty. A deep love formed that day one that I thought would last forever, for eternity. Though many may find it odd, but I never pictured my life without him. Never would I ponder that three years later out of the blue he would be wrapped in a maroon towel, dying in my arms.
His frail breathing making my puffy eyes explode with tears.
“Kyo…” I let out another chocked cry.
After a few more moments alone my mother finally came back into the room. It was written all over her face that she too longed to burst into tears and sob right along with me. But she felt she had to be strong on my account, if only she knew how wrong she was. I hated that she could hold herself together like that, how I wished I could do the same. But my feelings were different; they were tender and soft just like Kyo’s fur. I was a delicate Japanese vase that seemed to break every time it was gazed at.
I was weak.

“Come on Anjelica.” My mom mustered the words out, reaching out to take him from me. She didn’t have to say anything; I knew what was to happen. I knew what she was going to take him for, and she did as well.
“NO!” I cried out, clutching him tighter, burying my face in his neck, taking in his indescribable scent. Though I knew not what it was it had always smelt so good.
“Anjelica…” my mom began, a tear sliding down her cheek, “Don’t make me take him from you.”
No, I didn’t want her to take him from me; I couldn’t imagine her accidently hurting him so I gave in. I didn’t refuse her anymore; I just carefully placed him into her arms. He barely had the strength to look up at her. She told me to wait outside, because she didn’t want for me to see her go into the room.
Was this really the last time? Would this really be the last time I was to ever see my beloved cat again?

No, I told myself, it couldn’t be! But it was, it really was and it was me who was causing the death. Me who never knew of his illness, me who couldn’t afford the outrageous payment to try and heal him. Me who couldn’t bare that her baby was leaving her only to go into an enchanting deep sleep and then move on to a better life with the Egyptian goddess Bast. That sounded pretty good, but I wouldn’t accept it. I couldn’t accept it, putting him to sleep. I just couldn’t.
“Wait!” cried, stopping my mom from going through the other door, the door leading to his deep sleep.
“One last time Kyo…” I started, gently rubbing his chin, his favorite thing to have done to him, “One last time.” He smiled, or at least I saw him smile, his glazed over eyes beamed at me as if he knew, as if he were saying not to cry it would be alright. And that he knew all this was for him, all for him.
I saw the memory again, the one with him as a kitten, when he was put into my arms for the first time for me to keep close, and now the one when he was taken from those arms which sheathed him so.

My mother forced me from the room, and into the waiting room, where I half-heartedly kept myself from sobbing.
“Goodbye.” I whispered to the much too clean room, hoping that maybe it would reach him.
And finally when my mother came out, her face red from tears I lost it. Her empty arms and the empty cat carrier made me break again. As I fingered at the door, tears blinded my vision and burned my heart.
Leaving the vet was so hard; leaving him there with them for the night crushed me, even though I know it was only a body now.
The dark night mocked me by not showing stars, so there was nothing for me to wish upon that night. Though my only wish was impossible to make happen; damn the sky.
As we drove I felt so half alive, so broken and dead; a large chuck had been ripped from my body that night and the fact that it had happened so suddenly cut me to the bone.
I tried to find some sort of comfort, so I looked to the sky again and gasped.
The once pale, fat moon had changed…now it brimmed with an orange glow; its radiance casted a ginger light across the dark sky. As my eyes grew large gazing at the moon, it too gazed back at me with so much love and affection. At that moment I knew it was him, Kyo, telling me it was alright.
‘Thank you Kyo.’ I told myself, letting even more tears gather up only to fall down my soaked cheeks as I gazed at the beautiful amber moon.

Yeah crying now, pretty bad. And if your wondering, like "wtf anjelica?" thats my real name for those who didn't know. -_-;
I hate it. lol

[smithhanson]

My best friend just up and moved across the country the other day.

Didn't even get to say goodbye; I only wish I did.

We said goodbye over IM, which is hardly the same thing, but it was still a hard thing to do.

I've lost a few people now to cancer, and they were very emotional times in my life. The hardest thing about goodbyes is that you have to let go, no matter how much you don't want to.

[Lady Rika]

My close friend William got into a car accident last night at two am. I never knew until a few hours ago. I don't know what to think I didn't get to say goodbye. Nobody called me when he was on the ventilator. But they said he was 90% brain dead. Oh god it hurts to say that, I miss him so much everybody. Im taking it so hard.