Funny Uber-Compliments

[Skid Rock]

Alright, well me and my mother have always joked around saying things like

If pretty were bricks, then you'd have your own projects...
If pretty were trees, then you'd have your own orchard

Well.. I need help coming up with some more of these...in teh say style...They do not have to be necessarily nice or anything, just making sense, for example... you can take teh skeleton of teh compliment

If *blank* were bricks, then you'd have your own projects...in theory you could put anything in there...like, smarts, stupidity, ugly...etc...

So these jokes really, are versatile....

So anyway, can you help me come up with some more?

Just reply with *blank* in there.

It'd really help put a smile on my moms face, cuz me and her haven't been able to come up with any for a LONG time...they're getting kinda old.

Thanks

[OceanEyes28]

If *blank* were vaginas, you'd have your own whorehouse.

If *blank* were organic compost, you'd have your own planet-friendly farm. With vegetables.

If *blank* were rednecks, you'd have my family reunion.

If *blank* were clowns... you'd have your own Intellectual Discussion?

[Polk]

If your asshole were any tighter, you could make diamonds inside of your asshole.

I don't think I'm doing this right, but I think it'd be really funny if you complimented your mother on what a fine asshole she has.

[Skid Rock]

If *blank* were vaginas, you'd have your own whorehouse.

If *blank* were organic compost, you'd have your own planet-friendly farm. With vegetables.

If *blank* were rednecks, you'd have my family reunion.

If *blank* were clowns... you'd have your own Intellectual Discussion?

haha if *blank* were rednecks, you'd have my family reuninon

That one literally had me and my mom on the ground laughing for a good 20 minutes....considering we pretty much are rednecks

[Block]

if *blank* were funny, this thread wouldn't exist.