My least favourite is my anthroplogy tutor. We fell out after I revealed that my bookmarking system was based entirely on cigarette papers and that I thought Captain Cook was killed by a pterodactyl. Bint. Revoked my class certificate without telling me (completely illegal), I had to threaten her stupid job to get it back off her. She was extremely nice to me after that, but if I hadn't noticed, I'd have sat the exam and got no mark, and failed first year. I got my Anth results today - 80% pass. A. I turned a Removal of Certificate into a Certificate of Merit. Up you, you dried up hag.
My favourite was my French grammar tutor for this semester, the fittingly nicknamed Bojanic the Insane. Dressed always in maroon cord suits and bowling shoes, her grasp of the English language was as tenous as her grip on reality. 'EEZ IT A PEOPLE, OR A THING? NO, NO, NO! HEETHER MCLEEEELANN, YOU CANNOT TELEPHONE TO THE THING! IT MUST BE A PEOPLE! SUBJECT AND OBJECT ARE THE THINGS AND THE PEOPLE!'
It's a miracle that I passed her course with exemption marks. But she was just so endlessly entertaining. A lot of people left her class because she was completely useless as a teacher, but I couldn't bear to leave her, she was just excellent, endlessly entertaining.
Her explanation of the annoying and often confusing French subjunctive: 'OHHHKAY, DE SUBJECTEEVE. IT IS...OKAY. WHEN I AM TEACHER AND I SAY I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, THIS IS THE SUBJUNCTEEVE. YES?'
She'd go passive agressive on people who answered questions wrong. She pronounced 'verb' as 'WERB' consistently and nobody had the heart to correct her. The last time I saw her she was walking around Kings wearing a floor length coat that appeared to be made of tin foil, her bowling shoes poking proudly from beneath the silver coat and the maroon corduroy flares. I will miss that woman.
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